We're a Team

No more BS.
⁣
That’s kinda been a running theme in our lives this year, both at a very global, societal level, down to our everyday family lives. Whether it’s racism, injustice, manipulation, or unhealthy patterns, we’ve seen that the most loving thing for us to do is to stop accepting things that aren’t okay and to do so with a sense of urgency.
⁣
And there’s been such a strong connection between creating the change the world needs and doing the work at home.
⁣
That’s led to some harder conversations and bolder decisions, within our families and in other spaces. We’ve had to put into practice all the things we say we believe about setting healthy boundaries in multiple ways. It’s uncomfortable and tough, but honestly it’s also been freeing and empowering. It feels like legit growth.

Based on a lot of recent conversations with friends, we KNOW we’re not the only ones trying to navigate these waters. Like these lockdowns, it feels like a shared experience that we all gotta face individually. Boundaries are healthy, but they aren’t the easiest thing to assert. Especially when it changes a pattern that’s been going on for years.
⁣
One of the biggest things I’ve learned when having to confront somebody over a boundary-related issue is this: even when the conversation gets tough, the clarity I can offer the other person is a gift. Not leaving room for ambiguity around which actions prompted which responses from you makes it clear what changes need to happen.
⁣
The other big thing I’ve learned throughout the process has been this: having a solid partner through it all has been everything. Deanna has been so consistent with speaking up where she needs to, getting my back during some of the harder conversations, and paving that path so Rhys can grow up in a healthy, whole, compassionate environment. We’re a team and we stick together.

September 2020

#245 Jammin’ With Rhys

01 September 2020 // San Diego, California

Being a Phillies fan is mighty frustrating sometimes (though not this week!), but having Andrew McCutchen and Didi Gregorius on the team as two of the most fun people in baseball is irreplaceable.

#246 USPS Swag

02 September 2020 // San Diego, California

Buying stamps isn't the only way to save the USPS. They’ve also got a pretty sweet swag shop. I especially love the Forever Earth Day tee.

--

One of the lessons this year has been driving home has been the importance of the work being done by everyday people, everywhere. In a culture that spends a lot more energy glorifying executives, influencers, and positions of power, we’ve got to realize that it’s the people who supply our food, deliver our goods, and restock our shelves that we really can’t live without. And that definitely applies to mail carriers.

As federal corruption disrupts postal services, the timing and the locations where this is taking place don’t leave much room for ambiguity about why. And people- especially elderly and rural people- have been impacted by delayed medical deliveries, lost livestock, or mishandled small business orders. A pastor in St. Louis I spoke to the other week pointed out to me that it’s hard to get more symbolic about co-opting people’s voices than literally removing a mailbox.

---

Although the postmaster general has promised no more major changes until the election, it’s reasonable to feel suspicious. Buying stamps or swag to save the USPS is kind of an emergency measure. But a more long-lasting way to protect its services is to vote. 

If you want to feel safer about voting this year, :

1) Request your mail in ballot.
2) Don’t mail it.
3) Instead, look up your supervisor of elections to see when and where you can drop it off. Many states open up their drop boxes up to a month early, so you can avoid the pandemic crowds.
4) If you’re in California, Oregon, Washington, or Colorado, you can track your ballot like a package.
5) Also, don’t procrastinate. Now is the time to make sure your registration is up to date and to be researching the more obscure down-ballot stuff.

#247 Romping With Rhys

03 September 2020 // San Diego, California

Silence is an underrated tool in fighting misinformation.

So is drowining it out with true and helpful information.

Or overwhelming beauty.

#248 Park Play

04 September 2020 // San Diego, California

No more BS.⁣

That’s kinda been a running theme in our lives this year, both at a very global, societal level, down to our everyday family lives. Whether it’s racism, injustice, manipulation, or unhealthy patterns, we’ve seen that the most loving thing for us to do is to stop accepting things that aren’t okay and to do so with a sense of urgency.

And there’s been such a strong connection between creating the change the world needs and doing the work at home.⁣

That’s led to some harder conversations and bolder decisions, within our families and in other spaces. We’ve had to put into practice all the things we say we believe about setting healthy boundaries in multiple ways. It’s uncomfortable and tough, but honestly it’s also been freeing and empowering. It feels like legit growth.

Based on a lot of recent conversations with friends, we KNOW we’re not the only ones trying to navigate these waters. Like these lockdowns, it feels like a shared experience that we all gotta face individually. Boundaries are healthy, but they aren’t the easiest thing to assert. Especially when it changes a pattern that’s been going on for years.

One of the biggest things I’ve learned when having to confront somebody over a boundary-related issue is this: even when the conversation gets tough, the clarity I can offer the other person is a gift. Not leaving room for ambiguity around which actions prompted which responses from you makes it clear what changes need to happen.

The other big thing I’ve learned throughout the process has been this: having a solid partner through it all has been everything. Deanna has been so consistent with speaking up where she needs to, getting my back during some of the harder conversations, and paving that path so Rhys can grow up in a healthy, whole, compassionate environment. We’re a team and we stick together.

#249 Waiting for Babu

05 September 2020 // San Diego, California

In spite of a pandemic, a tropical storm, political uncertainty, and economic challenges the work continues.

We’re still planting trees. In some countries, our partners planted even more trees than they targeted at the beginning of the year.

Our participants continue to save, continue to meet together with safety precautions in place, and continue to plant trees and heal their land.

I’ve really been moved by the image of somebody planting a tree, meant to last generations, during a pandemic, in spite of it all.

#250 Rescue the Hostages

06 September 2020 // San Diego, California

Why are so many bad, harmful, and false ideas so persistent?

One idea is that it’s because they get repeated so many times.

Think of it this way, there’s a direct relationship between the amount of times an idea has been repeated in the past year and the amount of people who believe it. No matter how false or ridiculous it is.

Like, you know all those people who believe that Shaq and Andre the Giant are actually the same person in two disguises? No? Well, that’s probably cause I just made that up and it hasn’t been repeated too many times. But if enough people pass it on, it’s sure to pick up some believers. It’s not that harmful of an idea, unless maybe you’re Shaq, but imagine how this works for worse ideas.

James Clear says that silence is death for any idea. “An idea that is never spoken or written down dies with the person who conceived it. Ideas can only be remembered when they are repeated. They can only be believed when they are repeated.” I think there are a lot of harmful thinkers who have gained a large platform because their opponents kept ruminating on terrible things they said.

There’s a time and place for addressing false and harmful ideas, but this concept has informed the way I do.

I try to avoid attacking an idea in a way that gives it more attention. Instead, I try to do so in a way that communicates what my boundaries are and that I’m sticking up for people who may be harmed by such an idea. And I’ll try to do that in a personal, rather than public way, whenever possible.

I also try to focus more on feeding good ideas. The more an idea is repeated, the more it is believed. This applies to good ideas, empathetic storytelling, creative problem solving, and prophetic imagination as well. I forget who said the quote: the goal of the artist is to make a revolution irresistible, but it’s kinda like that. 

Creatives, storytellers, and artists have a special role to play during a time of widespread misinformation. It’s to share the truth. To share good ideas. And to share them beautifully. Again and again.

#251 Beach the Heat

07 September 2020 // Coronado, California

Shoutout to everyone going through a stretch of wildly uncomfortable but undeniably necessary growth right now. Real growth is almost never comfortable. It’s tiring. It tests almost every relationship you have, even with yourself. But the results are SO WORTH THE PROCESS.

#252 Rhys Learns to Walk

08 September 2020 // San Diego, California

To change a narrative, shift the narrator.

One theme I’m observing more and more, is that with every story that captures headlines, there is almost always a group of people deeply ingrained in the story who get very little attention relative to how heavily they’re impacted by the events.

Want some examples? Parents of special needs children while classrooms are remote during COVID-19. Rural Ethiopian pastoralists during a climate crisis. Chefs preserving traditional Syrian recipes while the country that used to host these traditional meals collapses.

Just to name a few.

I happen to think the very best podcasts are really good at framing their stories this way. NPR’s Code Switch, the old show Undone by Gimlet, NPR’s Rough Translation, Radiolab to name a few… the latter did a pretty good exploration recently into how the Spanish Flu impacted places like India- often overlooked when we think back to the last worldwide pandemic.

#253 hAZY

09 September 2020 // San Diego, California

A few reminders that help me stay hopeful and curious:

1. Change is constant. As terrible as some challenges can be, they don’t last forever.

2. People are incredibly resilient. Survivors of war, disease, injustice, and poverty who have generously shared their stories help us find our own resilience.

3. I can’t deny the pattern in my life where my biggest breakthroughs follow long, dry, difficult stretches

4. Beauty exists all over the place. There are sunsets and national parks, but soft light can penetrate a gritty slum or a hospital room with a gentle warmth that seems to make no sense.

5. So many of the people who’ve made my life more beautiful have no idea. You never know who you impact.

6. Literal discoveries in nature and science remind me that life finds a way, and everything serves an interconnected purpose

#254 Uhaul Tags

10 September 2020 // San Diego, California

As long as you are alive, you contain possibilities.

The story isn’t over. There are more chapters ahead. Keep saying yes to seeing what’s next.

Hope doesn’t always mean that you feel optimistic about the future. Hope means that you choose to see it through.

I want to tell you to stay hopeful. I believe in hope. But I also know that there are times when hope seems like a tall order. So some days, just try to stay curious. Wonder what happens next.

#255 Eco-Anxiety

11 September 2020 // San Diego, California

“Ultimately, eco-anxiety is about love. Our anxiety is a signal to us that reminds us that we are alive and part of a larger world.”

–Renée Lertzman

It’s been a brutal week for the West Coast. Of all the major cities up and down the coast, San Diego seems to be the safest right now, and that’s really not saying much. We have at least two major fires in the eastern part of our county and hazy orange skies. We’ve had to balance just how much outside time to give Rhys for the sake of him getting a change of scenery versus the awful air quality.

Right now, I’m finding Oregon’s struggle especially heartbreaking. My former home. I’m hearing about so many small towns in Southern Oregon, or up the Mackenzie River that may be gone. Places like Vida or Blue River, where I used to sneak off for hikes or longer bike rides. Not to mention all the wildlife that find a home in the Willamette Forest.

The narrative around climate change has often called for guilt, grief, hope, fear, panic, or anger- all of which have a rightful place. The thing that ties them together for me, though, is love. And that makes the climate crisis- difficult as it might be- a lot less isolating and a lot more unifying.

#256 City Heights Nights

12 September 2020 // San Diego, California

The impact of climate change is a particularly cruel one because of how many other problems it exacerbates. Climate change might not cause every global problem, but examine most of them and you’ll start to see how it can be connected, often exacerbating existing challenges.

Unhealthy ecosystems mean that women have to walk longer to get clean water. Infertile farms mean that children- usually daughters- are taken out of school to work. Poor ecological health drives parents in Central America or Southeast Asia to seek other opportunities, often in informal labor, resulting in dangerous migrant journeys or a vulnerability to trafficking and exploitation. Ecology has also been a vehicle for systemic racism, with the most polluted ZIP codes housing majority Black and Hispanic populations.

The Sermon on the Mount promises good news to the poor, hungry, mourning, and the excluded. Visit a rural community in Ethiopia, Myanmar, or the Dominican Republic, and you’ll find lots of poverty, hunger, mourning, and exclusion. Much of it stems from our climate crises.

#257 Mental Health Reads

13 September 2020 // San Diego, California

The topic of mental health has really been pulling me in lately. I mean... I’m married to a therapist so it’s always gonna be right by me, but I recently dove into these reads from three very different flavors within the world of counseling. Here’s #somebooknotes

📘 Try Softer by Aundi Kolber | Many people try to find their way in life by just trying harder and burning out, so this book advocates for an opposite approach– embracing your emotions, being aware of your own physical sensations, and accepting compassion. This book also offers a great intro to concepts like attachment styles or fight/flight responses.⁣

📙 Mating In Captivity by Esther Perel | I’ve appreciated Esther Perel’s TED Talk and other work, so I’m glad I finally got the chance to do a deeper dive into her book. This one is all about intimacy and erotic intelligence- which includes sex, but also so much more. Some of the things that deepen desire can run counterintuitive to our programming about what works.⁣

📘 Maybe You Should Talk To Someone by Lori Gottlieb | Man, this book was beautiful, and by the end I really felt like it helped me appreciate and feel more grateful for life... which is about the highest praise I can give a book. The writing is honest, smooth, and very much human. I picked this one up after hearing it referenced in a few favorite podcasts and it far exceeded expectations.

#258 City Heights Businesses

14 September 2020 // San Diego, California

I recently discovered the term white knuckling. Even if you haven't heard the term, you might recognize the practice. White knuckling happens when we ignore those internal warning signs our minds and bodies send us during situations that overwhelm or disturb us.

It's a survival tactic. It allows us to numb things to a level where we can carry on essential functions. This works for making it to the end of a difficult day, but as a long-term way of life, the consequences are pretty bad.

We ignore pain, hunger, exhaustion.

We minimize our emotional experience... sometimes resulting in sudden outbursts.

We become prone to addictions- whether that's alcohol or Netflix, because they help us numb things

Our motivation frequently swings between adrenaline rushes and getting stuck

Radical kindness includes a radical kindness to self.

#259 Piecy Walks

15 September 2020 // San Diego, California

Ethical storytelling isn’t easy. A tension sits in telling the whole story.

Emphasizing our partners’ skill, courage, and virtue WHILE educating people on the complex, systemic issues that contribute to poverty.

Telling stories that effectively raise money that helps WHILE avoiding sensationalism or stories that exploit experiences

Portraying hope WHILE invoking a sense of urgency

Showing why “this can’t wait” WHILE acknowledging that sustainable change is long-term

Demonstrating our team’s competence and how effective our approach is WHILE not centering ourselves in the story or framing ourselves as the saviors

#260 Piece Man March

16 September 2020 // San Diego, California

Power isn’t a zero-sum game.

Those that benefit from the status quo may often try to take power away from others. But another strategy is trying to convince those with less power that they have none. Good stewardship is when you recognize what you’ve been given, and you engage it to make life better for others.

#261 Bright Colored Books

17 September 2020 // San Diego, California

This is one of the best threads I’ve read in a long time.

⁣On Twitter, Brittany Packnett Cunningham asked people who didn’t vote in 2016 but plan to vote this year what changed. Answers varied but they all told a similar story. People overcoming!

In between then and now, people overcame:

🗳 Homelessness

🗳 Organ failure

🗳 Incarceration

🗳 Apathy

🗳 Mental health struggles

🗳 Their own ignorance

🗳 Feeling powerless

🗳 Obstacles to citizenship

🗳 Relationship problems

It’s quite a tapestry of things to celebrate and a good reminder that voting isn’t something to take for granted and that woven into each ballot are a lot of human histories- before and after the votes are cast.

#262 Rock Drummer

18 September 2020 // San Diego, California⁣

One of the best things about the pursuit of justice, is that it’s never a solo act. Everyone gets their role to play, but it’s a collective effort. And that allows us to rest but not quit. To imagine but not pretend. And since we’ve picked up this baton from others, it reminds us that there’s no giving up.⁣

With so much uncertainty in the air and so much concern for the vulnerable, it can be tough to find the right words. So I decided to copy what Girl Talk does with pop music and make a mashup of pep-talks:

“Fight for the things you care about but do it in a way that leads others to join you.”
– Ruth Bader Ginsburg

“Do not get lost in a sea of despair. Do not become bitter or hostile. Be hopeful. Be optimistic.”
– John Lewis

“You do not need to ignore your fears, nor should you… but we have possibilities before us. We can win. We can succeed. But we cannot do it alone.”
– Alexandria Ocasio Cortez

“Divest your energy from imagining the worst. Invest your energy in committing to and working for better.”
– Bernice King

“I would like to thank my ancestors because everytime I remember that their blood runs through my veins, I am reminded that I cannot lose.”
– Naomi Osaka

#263 A Screamin’ Kid

19 September 2020 // San Diego, California⁣

One of the connections that Dr. Ben Sanders makes is that, as human beings we are a part of creation. We are a part of nature, a part of the environment. So, violence against human beings is a category of environmental degradation, and racism is a major catalyst of human violence.

If you'll remember back to our last season, we've explored how certain movements in church history went so far to the extreme of trying to separate the material world from the spiritual world, that it created this false idea, a heresy, that the physical world was evil and the nonmaterial world was pure. Because humans were imbued with a soul, they could be exempt from the corruption of the physical world. However, this conflicts with the arrival of Jesus as the Word made flesh. God incarnate redeems the physical world as well.

A lens that sees humans as part of the environment, as part of nature, can still be compatible with a theology that recognizes our unique role within nature to steward it, transform it, and participate in its process of redemption. One of the ways we can best regain this perspective is through discipleship from Black, Brown, and Indigenous perspectives where this goes without saying.

#264 Chi & Greg’s Wedding

20 September 2020 // San Diego, California⁣

A not-so-recent quote I’m recently loving, courtesy of The Brothers Karamazov:

“Love all God’s creation, both the whole and every grain of sand. Love every leaf, every ray of light. Love the animals, love the plants, love each separate thing. If thou love each thing thou wilt perceive the mystery of God in all; and when once thou perceive this, thou wilt thenceforward grow every day to a fuller understanding of it: until thou come at last to love the whole world with a love that will then be all-embracing and universal.”

― Fyodor Dostoevsky

#265 Maple Leaf Cookies

21 September 2020 // San Diego, California⁣

You can’t serve two masters. You’ll just end up loving one and hating the other. You’ve got to pick between loving God and loving money.

💰💰💰⁣

Honestly I always thought the need to preach against financial greed seemed a bit... I dunno... elementary? After all... nothing seems to scream cartoon villain like somebody who loves money way too much. Your BEST case scenario is either Mr. Krabs or Scrooge McDuck.⁣

Then I saw somebody who created a browser plug-in that automatically replaced the words “the economy” with “Lord Mammon.” Biblically, Mammon is how Jesus referred to wealth- personifying it with the image of an Assyrian demon or false idol. It made headlines look like:⁣

📰“Stop COVID or save Lord Mammon?”

or

📰 “Experts discuss whether opening schools will help Lord Mammon.”

Okay, the plugin is meant for dramatic effect and starting a discussion that has room for more nuance. Economic health tends to help people, and it’s not a bad thing to pursue. It’s just a terrible thing to have as a master.

How do you know it’s become a master?

🗞 When the lives of others seem expendable for its sake.

🗞 When we shrug at mass extinctions because the habitat destruction is profitable.

🗞 When we get more angry over property loss more than the loss of human life.

All stuff we see all the time! This is a macro-level reality we live in. And it’s a tough one to escape from, because money’s a struggle for most of us! But I’ve found the following reminders constantly helpful:

Buying the more ethical item is a privilege so many people are priced out of. But if you’ve got this privilege, use it.⁣

Treat nobody’s net worth as a token of their worth. Including your own. Don’t mistake your productivity for your value. Rest well. Play!

Remember, sudden surprises happen and money comes and goes. Safety nets are a good idea, but remember that financial loss can be recovered. Time, health, and opportunity can’t.

Know what your level of enough is. Actually identify a number. Research shows no correlation between money and happiness past $75K. Give or take based on your location and circumstances. But recognizing when you’ve hit enough saves you from excess. It tells you when you fully detach money’s influence on your decision making.

#266 Are you registered to vote?

22 September 2020 // San Diego, California⁣

There’s a lot to be waiting on these days.

Change. Healing. Even just a better opportunity to go seek those things.

And I know that there are good things worth waiting for. But also, there’s more to do than to just passively wait. It seems crazy right now to admit, but there will be a time in the future where I’d wholeheartedly accept a one day guest pass back into right now.

I’m trying to remember that at the start of each of these days. There are things to look ahead to, but there are also things to look at. Right now.

#267 Ethical storytelling presentation

23 September 2020 // San Diego, California⁣

It’ll be a great day when we can explore places again.

Explore beyond borders. Explore new regions.

That time will come back and there will be so much good that comes with it.

I suppose if anything, I’m thankful that I’m not missing out on exploring during a year Rhys would remember. During a year where we could be on an adventure together. And I hope all our appetites will be ready at that point.

I know mine will be.

#268 Justice for Breonna Taylor

24 September 2020 // San Diego, California⁣

“When we are filled with love for other people, injustice becomes intolerable.”

–Austin Channing Brown

Breonna deserved better. Black women deserve better.

Keep showing up. Keep being a loud persistent voice against racism and injustice. Be strategic. Be bold.

And feel it all.

Sometimes it feels like the world is descending into deeper division, other times I remember that it’s actually a division that’s been here for ages becoming more visible. And walking through that world calls for thick skin and a soft heart.

That takes grief. We grieve things because they have value. And when systems act like Black lives don’t matter, grief says the opposite.

Injustice and indifference go hand in hand. Don’t let them crush your convictions.

#269 ward canyon park

25 September 2020 // San Diego, California⁣

What if you could do something that took less than five minutes, cost no money, but that gave your neighborhood:

$46 to help solve housing problems

$244 to help address hunger

$37 to make sure kids can get school lunches

$91 for education

$47 to improve roads and

$4,352 on medical care for the sick and elderly?

There is. Fill out a census form.

These are the federal dollars that go to communities per person. Every single person that responds does their community a huge service. (Based on NYC data in 2017) 

#270 Lovevery

26 September 2020 // San Diego, California⁣

I can’t remember who introduced me to the term eco-discipleship, but it stuck. The idea is that creation contains valuable spiritual lessons from its Creator. When you hear phrases like “consider the wildflowers,” or “look at the sparrow,” it means we can actually learn from these species.

One lesson I’m always getting from spending time outside is that we’ve been given everything we need for life to thrive. It’s one of the most amazing things about creation, actually. How optimized it is to sustain networks of life.

🌿🌿🌿

How often do you hear of someone wanting to “run things like a business” touted as a virtue?

You hear this phrase in governance a lot. It’s one of the justifications given for the disruptions to the post office lately. More often, I also see this mentality at play in how churches operate, how a lot of school systems think of learning, and the way rest and community are undervalued in the United States.

Businesses aren't geared to serve the needs of all. You identify a “target market.” In the classes I’ve taken, this is almost always determined by which market is the most profitable and it’s not hard to see who that would exclude in the US.

Business tends to aim for more and more, not recognizing the value of “enough.” It always leaves you wanting something more. It becomes so easy to harm others in that quest.

Business does have valuable lessons to teach. But in our culture, I think we’ve idolized it by making it our template for everything.

🌿🌿🌿

I think we need a better metaphor to aspire towards. Good stewardship isn’t so much running things like a business, but cultivating it like an ecosystem. This reminds us:

🌱 …that we’re all interconnected. And we’ve got to care for the vulnerable. Even the most seemingly small element of life. In an ecosystem, a disruption to a single insect species or invasive weed can throw the entire food chain out of whack. This year makes it easier to see that humans aren’t exempt.

🌱 ...that real, lasting changes take time. They don’t happen overnight, and yet these are the changes we need to aim towards.

🌱 …the way we’re only on this earth for a moment, and that one of our biggest responsibilities is to future generations that come after us. 

#271 love wholly

27 September 2020 // Carlsbad, California⁣

The San Diego Loyal were winning their match and forefeitted their playoff chances in taking this stand.

They did a similar thing after racial slurs from an LA player last week.

I was excited at the start of this year that SD would have a USL team. But man. They’ve gained a huge fan here.

#272 Houses on El Cajon

28 September 2020 // San Diego, California⁣

I’m trying to replace my desire to be productive with a desire to be regenerative.

Here’s what I mean.

I get upset when I see how our world values some lives over others because of how profitable or productive they are. AND YET, there have been a lot of days when I base my feeling on whether or not I had a good day off of how productive I was. 

👨🏾‍💻👨🏾‍💻👨🏾‍💻

When a culture lets the love of money become its master, one of the first things it does is lead people to confuse their sense of worth for their productivity.

We identify ourselves through jobs and titles rather than relationships and loves. We feel guilty about the very natural need to rest. We become a society that loses respect for the elderly, disabled, or those unable to work. And we give ourselves unreasonable expectations. I didn’t even realize how unsustainable of a pace I was going at until the lockdown brought so many of my projects to a dramatic pause.

The complex part, though, is that so many elements of being productive are good. In its pure form, work is a gift and a privilege and an opportunity. Life is more fulfilling when you have some kind of meaningful work to pour yourself into. It is a human need to be able to make and create things.

🌲🌲🌲

A biologist friend of mine likes to point out that the goal isn’t to maximize, but to optimize. The highest level of productivity isn’t always the most ideal. You see this much more clearly in nature. And that makes me think that my goal isn’t so much to be productive, as it is to be regenerative.

👩🏾‍🌾 Regenerative work is life-giving. Both to the person doing the work, and all those who come into contact with it.

👩🏾‍🌾 Regenerative work helps you live out your purpose, rather than getting in the way of you and your purpose.

👩🏾‍🌾 Regenerative work often doesn’t even look like our mental image of work. It includes rest. It’s often indistinguishable from play.

#273 Golden Hour Baby

29 September 2020 // San Diego, California⁣

This week brings National Podcast Day… here are some of my favorites from this year:

+ Ologies

+ Truth’s Table

+ How To Save a Planet

+ Working it Out

+ Creative Pep Talk

+ Staying In With Emily and Kumail

+ Dissect

+ California Love

+ No Place Like Home

#274 11 Months of Rhys

30 September 2020 // San Diego, California⁣

Great news and let me get right to it! Season Two of the #GrassrootsPodcast is out now!

Check out our first episode on vulnerability and lament featuring Kayla Craig and Peter Harris of A Rocha on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. And please... rate, review, and tell a friend⁣

🌳✊🏽🌳

Last year, I launched the podcast for Plant With Purpose as a way to steer conversations about climate back towards the front lines. So much dialogue is set in academic or corporate circles that sometimes lose sight of the communities most threatened by climate change around the world. In our first season, I got to feature guests representing DR Congo, Mozambique, Thailand, rural Appalachia, inner city Philly, Hong Kong, and many other places. We looked at the issues through a spiritual lens, and I heard from many listeners that it brought a perspective they’d been looking for for a long time.

I had some exciting plans for Season Two, but right around March had to scrap them all. I doubt I need to explain why. But my team put our heads together virtually and decided to use our show to create a mini-season, responding to some of the urgent things going on around us:

🎙 Lament and vulnerability

🎙 The pandemic, of course

🎙 Environmental racism

🎙 An extremely divided culture

Lessons from the environment and our faith absolutely apply to the moment. So these are the themes of our second season!

Save the USPS

Buying stamps isn't the only way to save the USPS. They’ve also got a pretty sweet swag shop. I especially love the Forever Earth Day tee.
⁣
✉️
⁣
One of the lessons this year has been driving home has been the importance of the work being done by everyday people, everywhere. In a culture that spends a lot more energy glorifying executives, influencers, and positions of power, we’ve got to realize that it’s the people who supply our food, deliver our goods, and restock our shelves that we really can’t live without. And that definitely applies to mail carriers.
⁣
As federal corruption disrupts postal services, the timing and the locations where this is taking place don’t leave much room for ambiguity about why. And people- especially elderly and rural people- have been impacted by delayed medical deliveries, lost livestock, or mishandled small business orders. A pastor in St. Louis I spoke to the other week pointed out to me that it’s hard to get more symbolic about co-opting people’s voices than literally removing a mailbox.
⁣
📬📬📬
⁣
Although the postmaster general has promised no more major changes until the election, it’s reasonable to feel suspicious. Buying stamps or swag to save the USPS is kind of an emergency measure. But a more long-lasting way to protect its services is to vote.
⁣
If you want to feel safer about voting this year, :
⁣
1) Request your mail in ballot.
2) Don’t mail it.
3) Instead, look up your supervisor of elections to see when and where you can drop it off. Many states open up their drop boxes up to a month early, so you can avoid the pandemic crowds.
4) If you’re in California, Oregon, Washington, or Colorado, you can track your ballot like a package.
5) Also, don’t procrastinate. Now is the time to make sure your registration is up to date and to be researching the more obscure down-ballot stuff.

Chadwick Boseman

Man this one is a tough blow.
⁣
An artist is at his best when he inspires. And when you keep being given roles like Thurgood Marshall, James Brown, Jackie Robinson, and T’Challa... you know you’ve got hero material.

He knew he had something to give the world, just like the heroes he portrayed. And I’ll never forget the February night he gave us the sight of dashikis and Maasai shawls flooding the AMC lobby. He gave us three rows in the front standing and swaying to Kendrick & SZA during the credits. He gave us an obligatory X-ing of the wrists that went on for weeks after. He gave me the playlist to train for my second half marathon, but more importantly, he gave countless Black kiddos their first big screen superhero that looked like them.
⁣
Somewhere in my imagination, we discover all the bad things in 2020 come to an end when portals open up in the sky, and this is the first face that greets us.

Kid of Color

This summer, I’ve had more conversations about racial injustice than ever. I’ve had so many people tell me that they thought things had gotten better, and that the world would be much better by the time my kid of color grows up. Especially for the kids of darker colors.

I have hope. And hope tells us that things CAN be better. But will they? Nothing changes if nothing changes.

This week, Jacob Blake tried to break up a fight unarmed. After seven shots to the back from police officers, he now fights for his life. His kids of color watched. His dad got on the news to share that his kid of color was now paralyzed from the waist down.

Our hope can only be as deep as our lament.

I believe that the hunger for change is real. And that hope is real. But it’s going to take more than a short spurt of self-education and symbolic gestures to stop this from happening.

We need to learn how to have a big enough imagination to dream up new systems.

We need to learn to rise to every opportunity to confront harmful ideas and beliefs.

We need to learn to accept the blessing of anger towards injustice and oppression.

We need to learn the difference between calling for peace versus calling for passivity.

It’s not a one time call to action. It’s a lifelong commitment.

Praying for Jacob Blake to pull through and to tell his story. Praying that the story moves us from comfort to change.

Belarus, California, Iowa

How was the weekend for y’all? I got to spend a pretty good amount of time drawing, which is always a win in my book. While protests and natural disasters continue to occupy headlines, I thought I’d use some of these drawings to call attention to the people behind the stories who often go overlooked: women in Belarus, refugees in Iowa, and incarcerated firefighters in California.

🇧🇾

In Belarus, protests are continuing against the government nearly three weeks after the president declared victory in a suspect election. While the protests are against his authoritarianism and heavy-handed response, women have taken the lead in the protests to also decry his chauvinistic behavior. Paying attention to these events anywhere should help us better recognize it when it appears at our front door.

👩🏾‍🚒

In my own home state, wildfires strike regularly around this time of year, but they can still be pretty devastating, and it gets way more complicated because of COVID. One thing I hope gets more attention is how California calls on prison inmates to help fight fires. This year, fewer are available due to how COVID has hit prison populations. The use of prisoners in this role highlights important parts of conversations around prison abolition, justice, and the links to slavery. There are many ways we can do better.

🛣

Iowa is still recovering from a derecho- a swift, inland hurricane that took out many homes and structures. While the entire story doesn’t seem to be commanding as much attention as it should, one storyline that has gotten even less attention is the strong presence of resettled refugees in Cedar Rapids, and how they are among those who’ve been hit hardest.

Honoring Every Emotion

Some stuff Rhys and I are practicing :
🇵🇭 Tagalog
♥️ Emotional Intelligence
⁣
One of my biggest lessons has been to focus less on pursuing happiness and to focus more on wholeness.
⁣
A really big part of that has meant getting more in touch with sadness, fear, anger, and all those other emotions I’m often averse to. I’ve learned quite a bit from cultures that are a lot more accustomed to processing these emotions rather than seeking distractions.
⁣
Many of us come from cultural backgrounds, spiritual communities, or other circles that tend to make us feel bad for feeling bad. It’s been helpful to think about why we were made with these emotions in the first place.
⁣
We experience fear in order to keep us safe. In primate studies where more fearful personalities were removed, survival rates were significantly lower. Sure, sometimes it can overreact to false or minor threats and can get in the way, but we’ve been given the gift of fear for a very important reason.
⁣
We experience anger when our sense of justice has been violated.
⁣
We experience sadness during a loss or an absence. It reminds us that the thing we’re mourning has value.

This doesn’t mean that things like justice, the reality of a threat, or what has value are determined by our feelings, and there are people whose growth path moves in the opposite direction of mine- not letting their feelings control them.
⁣
But understanding feelings as gifts that communicate to us can be a really helpful thing. I honestly think that if God didn’t want us to experience these feelings, then they wouldn’t have given them to us in the first place.

Hope and Toxic Positivity

I’ve been a pretty optimistic person for most of my life, but I’d say it’s only in the last couple of years that I’ve learned what it looks like to be genuinely hopeful.
⁣
And that only really started when I went through some of my hardest times.
⁣
During the early days of the pandemic, I was a bit surprised to find that the messages that bothered me the most were the overly cheery ones. Telling people “everything’s going to be okay,” seemed cruel while thousands of families were losing loved ones. When the righteous anger and grief propelled many to protest racism, many calls for “peace and unity” often seemed to stand in the way of authentic peace and unity. When toxic positivity encounters human suffering, it’s basically telling somebody that you don’t see their hurt.
⁣
I think one of the reasons this particularly bugs me is that for a long time, I’ve tended to be guilty of it. And when somebody shares with me a hard thing, I have to make a conscious effort to not go there. One of my more Enneagram 7ish things is being able to find the silver lining in everything.

I like how Natalie Detillo described excess positivity in the Washington Post yesterday. “Think of it as having a few too many scoops of ice cream. It’s really good and it makes us feel better, but you can overdo it and it makes us sick.”
⁣
Or it’s like trying to shove ice cream into somebody’s face when they don’t feel like having ice cream. That’s not really going to make them feel better.
⁣
A screenplay with 100% happy scenes would make for a terrible movie.
⁣
Toxic positivity dulls the vibrancy of the full human experience.
⁣
Nothing heals that isn’t grieved.
⁣
I am fiercely committed to hope. But I can assure you that you won’t find the real thing if you make it a habit of looking away from tragedy, injustice, or heartbreak.

Really Value Life

Life to the fullest. By coming fully alive, we also help bring life to others. That’s the pursuit I keep waking up for.
⁣
And also... some big thoughts this AM.
⁣
Nearly six months deep into a quarantine, it’s easy for a lot of us to forget why we’re doing this. I’ve heard from a number of friends in just the past week or two about how they couldn’t keep going with all the restrictions, the distancing, the masks, the cancellations, that this moment has placed upon us. “Aren’t we all probably going to get this disease anyways?” one friend asks. “And aren’t we all going to die at some point anyways? Why are we so scared?”
⁣
That idea contained both a lot of truth and a lot of problems- my biggest issue being that our precautions aren’t just for our own safety, but the safety and protection of others. It’s not just a matter of how much do we want to preserve our own lives (though please, do!) but wanting to value and protect the lives of others.
⁣
One of the things he was right about, though, was that we don’t consider our own mortality enough.

Around the age of 15 or so, it was something I became intensely aware of. Not just the existence of death, but the potential it had to make everything else I ever did inconsequential. Those thoughts sparked the longest spiritual journey towards God, love, purpose, and justice, and I think that journey has no end. I’m not a morbid person, but I think recognizing our own mortality can be the start of really living.
⁣
Some of us have had to live in closer proximity with death, maybe because of the place we were born into, the body we were born with, or the tragedies that met us on our way. That proximity makes you realize we often don’t value life enough.
⁣
You can undervalue life by letting self-preservation paralyze you, and you can undervalue life by being too flippant about its sacredness and fragility.
⁣
We don’t have to fear death, but we certainly don’t need to become its ally or assistant. When we respect the limited time we get in this life, we can better honor its sacredness. When we honor the sacredness of life, we realize the value of every single day.

Did Global Poverty reset by 30 years?

I heard the pretty concerning projection that the pandemic is likely to set back global poverty levels by 30 years.
⁣
📆📆📆
⁣
Not enough of us pay attention to the steady progress we’ve made against global poverty in the past few decades, and while too much of it persists, I’ve found the trajectory to be pretty encouraging. But are we at risk of losing that?
⁣
I decided to dig into some of the projections to create this slider for @plantwpurpose this week- there are reasons to be concerned, especially for the most vulnerable, but there are a lot of things we’ve learned to help keep a robust recovery within reach.
⁣
🌐🌐🌐
⁣
Thankful to be part of the team that has spent nearly 40 years fighting global poverty in such a sustainable, community-led fashion. Imagine if the number of people living in poverty in your area dropped by 2/3rds? That’s what we’ve seen in places like Haiti, the Congo, and Tanzania.

On Crucial Conversations

I’m happy my video post from yesterday on having crucial conversations about things that matter seemed to be pretty helpful for a number of you! Here are a few more ideas about having crucial conversations that I’ve found really helpful:
⁣
Learning how to gauge somebody’s motivations for engaging you in a conversation can help you decide what approach to take. Do they enjoy debate for debate’s sake? Are they genuinely curious in how you see the world differently?
🔰
The people who are most likely to change our minds are the ones we agree with on 98 percent of topics.
🔰
Whenever you find yourself agreeing with the other person, or them agreeing with you, point it out and repeat that point of agreement. Establishing common ground gives a conversation direction.
🔰
According to James Clear, “the number of people who believe an idea is directly proportional to the number of times it has been repeated during the last year—even if the idea is false.” The takeaway? Most harmful statements don’t need your signal boost.
🔰
Productive conversations feel less like a debate and more like a collaborative search for a solution. That’s why that common ground is so important.
🔰
When you run into a buzzword like “sustainable” or “systemic racism” it’s often helpful to ask the other person how they use and understand these terms.
🔰
Approach conversations with a beginner’s mind. Invite explanations of the other person’s understanding, and point out when you just don’t get it. Rephrase their position in your own words, being open about what you agree with, what you don’t, and what you simply don’t understand.
⁣
Two of the most helpful resources I’ve found on this topic are:
📘 The book How to Have Impossible Conversations by Peter Boghossian and James A. Lindsay
📰 The article “Why Facts Don’t Change Our Minds” by James Clear (this one’s easy to Google!)

Keep Having Crucial Conversations

Keep having crucial conversations about race

Having important conversations about race takes a TON of patience. Especially when your conversations don’t seem to be getting anywhere or when the person your talking to just seems flat out resistant.

That’s why I made this video with hopefully helpful reminders.

🔻🔺🔻

Facts do a miserable job at changing people’s beliefs. Relationships matter more.

That’s why it’s valuable to have these conversations in the context of relationship. I mean, stand up against racism wherever you see it, but my relationships with other people have set my approach, my expectations, and my focus for doing the work.

🔺🔻🔺

All of us have relationships with people who might not be open to paying attention to 13th or reading Ibram X. Kendi, but who would have a conversation with us. That gives each of us a unique and important role to play.

Nine Months of Rhys

Nine Months! Rhys just crossed the break-even point – that benchmark where he’s spent more time out of the womb than inside.
⁣
🕷
⁣
Parenting during a pandemic is full of so many curveballs. I usually drop Rhys off at my mom’s while working, but last week my stepdad just got back from a trip to Baltimore and they weren’t able to get their COVID test results right away. That meant a five day work-week of trying to look after Rhys while cranking out projects. I took more than a couple meetings with him trying to nap in my arms or crawling around my feet.
⁣
🕸🕸🕸

It might sound like I’m patting myself on the back, and… I totally am. Last week was a handful! But I’m glad we went through it, and we had some good times too.
⁣
This was both one of the most fun and tiring months from the #worldofrhys. So much of his personality is coming into focus, and it’s… a lot of what we would have expected from combining DNA from the two of us. High-energy, curious, and determined.
⁣
🌳 It’s super obvious that Rhys loves the outdoors. Trees. Grass. The ocean.
🚶🏾‍♂️He keeps teasing us like he’s about to take his first step.
😬 He’s also got two bottom teeth now through.
🐕 He and Beignet are BUDS.
⁣
Also… he’s outgrown a lot of clothes. We’re gonna have to restock on costumes soon.

Beirut, Zimbabwe, and "Save the World" Katty

There’s like... a lot of stuff going on around the world, huh?
⁣
Drawing has increasingly become one of the ways I process stuff, and I’m so thankful I have that tool. Here are three things going on far from home that hit close to home:

🇱🇧
⁣
By now you probably know about the Beirut explosion. It’s apparently the second largest urban explosion, after Hiroshima/Nagasaki. What makes the immediate catastrophe even worse is the fact that most of Lebanon’s wheat and food supply was lost in the explosion, and between COVID and the blast, Beirut’s hospitals are completely overwhelmed.

🇰🇵
⁣
I learned from my @libertyinnorthkorea family about the loss of an amazing person, who I never got to meet, but who I feel acquainted with through her amazing work- helping 800+ North Korean refugees find freedom. Katty is a great reminder that no matter how overwhelming things can seem, there are lots of quiet, unnoticed helpers all around.

🇿🇼
⁣
Then there’s Zimbabwe. What’s happening there is complex but familiar. An authoritarian regime clamping down on its own people through police brutality. A staggering loss of jobs, food, and health during the pandemic. A corrupt regime using the pandemic to excuse its overreach. No country is immune to this, unfortunately.
⁣
🌐
⁣
Look. Paul the Apostle was once like, “don’t be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good,” then Desmond Tutu pulled up and he was all like, “keep doing simple acts of good. They’re the ones that overwhelm the world.”
⁣
One of those simple acts of good sitting in front of us right now is finding the helpers already at work and giving them a hand.

Joy-Filled Justice

At the start of this year, I said that one of my biggest goals was to relearn how to enjoy the process and to make working on my goals feel more like play.
⁣
Of course, at the time I was thinking of things like editing videos, writing scripts, and producing a podcast. Now I realize the “work” I have cut out for me also includes things like keeping my family safe and healthy during a pandemic, inciting people towards a more inclusive notion of sustainability, or confronting racist ideas in any place where I have some influence.
⁣
It’s serious stuff. And yet, the value of enjoying the process and making the pursuit feel like play is still relevant.
⁣
🦔🦔🦔
⁣
Deep down, I’m a pretty lighthearted person. Sometimes that feels at odds with the seriousness of the stuff that surrounds me. And I wonder what my role is, as somebody who wishes cartoon physics were real and eats more Pop Tarts than anyone my age should.
⁣
Then I hear old interviews with Desmond Tutu, and how he couldn’t seem to get through many with his signature chuckle. Giggle, more accurately. I see the clips of John Lewis busting a move on the floor of Congress, or the crowd swaying in the movie theatre during the credits of Black Panther. Progress can feel like a party.
⁣
🍁
⁣
On a recent episode of Truths Table podcast- I remember a key point being that a function of oppression is that it limits and suppresses our imagination. Deray Mckesson says that imagination allows us to navigate between faith and hope to make things better. Imagination takes play.
⁣
⚡️
⁣
Joy and Justice are more closely related than people usually realize. And I believe the authentic pursuit of one leads you towards the pursuit of the other.
⁣
How do you integrate Joy and Justice? It takes a while to learn, but you do yourself a big favor when you surround yourself with people who seem to live at their crossroads. Take your work seriously, but don’t take yourself too seriously. Stay curious. Relearn how to play.

August 2020

#214 Pomegranate Green Tea Sake

01 August 2020 // San Diego, California

Whoever it was that Tweeted 2020 has some serious series finale vibes might’ve scored with the most accurate tweet of the year.

While the days seem to be an endless cycle of the same, it world at large seems to be imbued with a lot of suspense. Uncertainty about what happens next. Reasons to be worried. Reasons to be hopeful.

One of my big goals from this year was to focus less on the finished product and to worry about enjoying the process. Maybe this is a taller test of that than I ever could’ve anticipated. We’re writing a story that will be retold many, many years from now.

In spite of the restlessness. In spite of the discomfort. It’s time to be honed in on what’s right in front of us.

#215 The Masked Mama

02 August 2020 // San Diego, California

At the start of this year, I said that one of my biggest goals was to relearn how to enjoy the process and to make working on my goals feel more like play.⁣

Of course, at the time I was thinking of things like editing videos, writing scripts, and producing a podcast. Now I realize the “work” I have cut out for me also includes things like keeping my family safe and healthy during a pandemic, inciting people towards a more inclusive notion of sustainability, or confronting racist ideas in any place where I have some influence.

It’s serious stuff. And yet, the value of enjoying the process and making the pursuit feel like play is still relevant.

🦔🦔🦔⁣

Deep down, I’m a pretty lighthearted person. Sometimes that feels at odds with the seriousness of the stuff that surrounds me. And I wonder what my role is, as somebody who wishes cartoon physics were real and eats more Pop Tarts than anyone my age should.⁣

Then I hear old interviews with Desmond Tutu, and how he couldn’t seem to get through many with his signature chuckle. Giggle, more accurately. I see the clips of John Lewis busting a move on the floor of Congress, or the crowd swaying in the movie theatre during the credits of Black Panther. Progress can feel like a party.

🍁

⁣On a recent episode of @truthstable podcast- I remember a key point being that a function of oppression is that it limits and suppresses our imagination. @iamderay says that imagination allows us to navigate between faith and hope to make things better. Imagination takes play.

⚡️

Joy and Justice are more closely related than people usually realize. And I believe the authentic pursuit of one leads you towards the pursuit of the other.

How do you integrate Joy and Justice? It takes a while to learn, but you do yourself a big favor when you surround yourself with people who seem to live at their crossroads. Take your work seriously, but don’t take yourself too seriously. Stay curious. Relearn how to play.

#216 Park Recording

03 August 2020 // San Diego, California

Ambition has often been seen as the marker of success, or someone headed towards success.

That’s just not the case.

Wholeness is a much more meaningful and beautiful pursuit than the goal of ambition or success. Live life fully. Give life to everything you’re a part of.

#217 Loli’s Flowers

04 August 2020 // San Diego, California

What’s the brokest thing you’ve done in college?

Please tell me Daniel remembers working at a smoothie shop and me asking him to use his one-free-drink per shift on a smoothie, hold the smoothie, lots of extra matcha boost.

Best way I ever scored a free 16oz cup of matcha powder.

#218 It’s That Duo

05 August 2020 // San Diego, California

There’s like... a lot of stuff going on around the world, huh?⁣

Drawing has increasingly become one of the ways I process stuff, and I’m so thankful I have that tool. Here are three things going on far from home that hit close to home:⁣

🇱🇧

By now you probably know about the Beirut explosion. It’s apparently the second largest urban explosion, after Hiroshima/Nagasaki. What makes the immediate catastrophe even worse is the fact that most of Lebanon’s wheat and food supply was lost in the explosion, and between COVID and the blast, Beirut’s hospitals are completely overwhelmed.

🇰🇵⁣

I learned from my Liberty in North Korea family about the loss of an amazing person, who I never got to meet, but who I feel acquainted with through her amazing work- helping 800+ North Korean refugees find freedom. Katty is a great reminder that no matter how overwhelming things can seem, there are lots of quiet, unnoticed helpers all around.

🇿🇼⁣

Then there’s Zimbabwe. What’s happening there is complex but familiar. An authoritarian regime clamping down on its own people through police brutality. A staggering loss of jobs, food, and health during the pandemic. A corrupt regime using the pandemic to excuse its overreach. No country is immune to this, unfortunately.

🌐

Look. Paul the Apostle was once like, “don’t be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good,” then Desmond Tutu pulled up and he was all like, “keep doing simple acts of good. They’re the ones that overwhelm the world.”⁣

One of those simple acts of good sitting in front of us right now is finding the helpers already at work and giving them a hand.

#219 The World From Lola’s

06 August 2020 // San Diego, California

Don’t get tired of doing good.

In the words of John Wesley, ““Do all the good you can, whenever you can, wherever you can, to all the people you can, as long as you ever can.”

In the words of the Apostle Paul, “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”

During times of hardship, it can be easy to get overwhelmed and to feel exhausted, especially when the end of a difficult season seems nowhere in sight. 

So many of our friends in our partner countries know the feeling. Natural disasters, economic instability, and now a pandemic have presented one obstacle after another. And yet, they’ve shown us what it looks like to keep doing the next right thing, whether it’s planting another tree, practicing compassion and caution during a public health crisis, or pulling community resources together to help a family that has been devastated.

Those small acts of good add up to an abundant harvest. And they create a path towards joy in the midst of difficulty.

#220 La Virgen

07 August 2020 // San Diego, California

Away with your noisy hymns of praise, I will not listen to the music of your harps. Instead I want to see a flood of justice, an endless river of righteous living. (Amos 5:23-24)

This sign was in response to a street “revival” in Portland.

But I don’t think you can just gather a bunch of people to sing and feel good, then slap the word revival on it. Nothing wrong with prayer and singing, of course, but there’s a world of difference between praying FOR revival and labeling whatever you’re doing as one.

Revive means “brought back to life.” It means a widespread change of heart that turns the ways of disease, injustice, and oppression upside down.

If that hasn’t been done, and yet you pat yourself on the back for bringing revival in front of the most vulnerable in their suffering, you’ve done nothing but show contempt for their Maker.

#221 Juniper Trailhead

08 August 2020 // San Diego, California

Living in SD but being a committed Phillies fan makes me feel like I gotta disclaimer everything to not seem like a bandwagoner jumping on the Padres after decades of patience from their true fan base but...

Tatis.

Fernando Tatis Jr. is really good.

Fernando Tatis Jr. is the most exciting player in baseball right now.

Best comp I can think of is a real young A-Rod in Seattle.

#222 Peach Mango Pie

09 August 2020 // San Diego, California

Once again, James Clear delivered a post that provided so much clarity.

"A few things you need to achieve exceptional results:

1) Quantity: You take lots of shots.
2) Quality: You take thoughtful shots.
3) Consistency: You keep shooting for a long time.
4) Feedback. You take better shots over time.
5) Luck: You get a few favorable bounces."

In my work, I think that’s so relevant.

1) Create everyday.
2) Create mindfully.
3) Push through the bad days.
4) Seek out constructive advice, and pay attention to what works.
5) Every now and then, something will just land in the right spot.

#223 Strolling on Baseball Dirt

10 August 2020 // San Diego, California

Keep having crucial conversations about race

Having important conversations about race takes a TON of patience. Especially when your conversations don’t seem to be getting anywhere or when the person your talking to just seems flat out resistant.

🔻🔺🔻

Facts do a miserable job at changing people’s beliefs. Relationships matter more.

That’s why it’s valuable to have these conversations in the context of relationship. I mean, stand up against racism wherever you see it, but my relationships with other people have set my approach, my expectations, and my focus for doing the work.

🔺🔻🔺

All of us have relationships with people who might not be open to paying attention to 13th or reading Ibram X. Kendi, but who would have a conversation with us. That gives each of us a unique and important role to play.

#224 Reading

11 August 2020 // San Diego, California

I remember visiting a restaurant that broke down its menu items by explaining where every cent of its price would go. How much of the price pays for the ingredients, how much is used to compensate the staff for their labor, how much goes towards overhead, and how much is actual profit.

It’s pretty amazing, and helps us understand things- like how much it costs to have better ingredients. Or how little the people who prepare our foods actually make.

I love transparency in pricing and would love it if all kinds of industries tried it out. I want tags on clothes to break this down. The packaging on electronics. Even the donate buttons on nonprofits and churches websites.

It would also be a bit of a stark reminder of who or what we actually value.

#225 The Turtle Pond

12 August 2020 // San Diego, California

The best approach to environmental restoration isn’t one-size-fits-all. Context matters!

Efforts to transform individual lives without considering the broader context in which people live are often ineffective, and can even be harmful. That’s why loving our neighbor is also an invitation to understand the ecosystems, the economic systems, the political systems, and the cultures in which they live.

How does this impact our efforts to do good?

🌐 It makes us commit to a constant learning process
🌐 It challenges us to re-examine our pride and to stay humble
🌐 It reminds us that the most effective work is led by locals, not outsiders
🌐 It reveals to us that all justice issues ultimately connect- from the environment to poverty to migration to race to trafficking.

In our work, we value the diversity of the communities we work with in eight countries across three continents. Over a dozen languages are spoken, and each place has its own unique history. Its why we won’t go anywhere without a local partner taking the lead.

#226 Plywood Virtual

13 August 2020 // San Diego, California

I heard the pretty concerning projection that the pandemic is likely to set back global poverty levels by 30 years.⁣

📆📆📆

Not enough of us pay attention to the steady progress we’ve made against global poverty in the past few decades, and while too much of it persists, I’ve found the trajectory to be pretty encouraging. But are we at risk of losing that?⁣

I decided to dig into some of the projections to create an infographic for Plant With Purpose this week- there are reasons to be concerned, especially for the most vulnerable, but there are a lot of things we’ve learned to help keep a robust recovery within reach.

🌐🌐🌐

Thankful to be part of the team that has spent nearly 40 years fighting global poverty in such a sustainable, community-led fashion. Imagine if the number of people living in poverty in your area dropped by 2/3rds? That’s what we’ve seen in places like Haiti, the Congo, and Tanzania.

#227 Wires and Alleyways

14 August 2020 // San Diego, California

Life to the fullest. By coming fully alive, we also help bring life to others. That’s the pursuit I keep waking up for.

Nearly six months deep into a quarantine, it’s easy for a lot of us to forget why we’re doing this. I’ve heard from a number of friends in just the past week or two about how they couldn’t keep going with all the restrictions, the distancing, the masks, the cancellations, that this moment has placed upon us. “Aren’t we all probably going to get this disease anyways?” one friend asks. “And aren’t we all going to die at some point anyways? Why are we so scared?”

That idea contained both a lot of truth and a lot of problems- my biggest issue being that our precautions aren’t just for our own safety, but the safety and protection of others. It’s not just a matter of how much do we want to preserve our own lives (though please, do!) but wanting to value and protect the lives of others.

One of the things he was right about, though, was that we don’t consider our own mortality enough.

Around the age of 15 or so, it was something I became intensely aware of. Not just the existence of death, but the potential it had to make everything else I ever did inconsequential. Those thoughts sparked the longest spiritual journey towards God, love, purpose, and justice, and I think that journey has no end. Recognizing our own mortality can be the start of really living. 

Some of us have had to live in closer proximity with death, maybe because of the place we were born into, the body we were born with, or the tragedies that met us on our way. That proximity makes you realize we often don’t value life enough.

You can undervalue life by letting self-preservation paralyze you, and you can undervalue life by being too flippant about its sacredness and fragility. 

We don’t have to fear death, but we certainly don’t need to become its ally or assistant. When we respect the limited time we get in this life, we can better honor its sacredness. When we honor the sacredness of life, we realize the value of every single day.

#228 Ivy’s Birthday Breakfast

15 August 2020 // San Diego, California

Brittany Packnett Cunningham recently gave 2016 nonvoters who plan to vote this year a space to explain why they didn’t four years ago, and the discussion turned surprisingly inspiring.

People’s responses were full of overcoming physical and mental health issues, housing struggles, apathy, and expressing a willingness to grow. Many were struggling with cancers, strokes, or hospitalizations and didn’t manage to vote. Others were stuck in a deeply depressed state. Some were honest in admitting that they didn’t feel their vote had an impact, or that they outcome couldn’t be what it was.

There was so much worth celebrating. For once, reading the comments was an actual GOOD idea.

#229 Sharetea

16 August 2020 // San Diego, California

So disappointed that Hassan Minhaj’s Patriot Act was cancelled by Netflix. Especially at a moment where we are becoming more aware of the need for diverse voices in understanding global events, and when we have a South Asian Veep nominee.

I dunno if Netflix gets why their sudden cancellations of good things at their peak is so frustrating, so let me explain it simply.

The issue is th

#230 Long Left Desk

17 August 2020 // San Diego, California

I’ve been a pretty optimistic person for most of my life, but I’d say it’s only in the last couple of years that I’ve learned what it looks like to be genuinely hopeful.

And that only really started when I went through some of my hardest times.

During the early days of the pandemic, I was a bit surprised to find that the messages that bothered me the most were the overly cheery ones. Telling people “everything’s going to be okay,” seemed cruel while thousands of families were losing loved ones. When the righteous anger and grief propelled many to protest racism, many calls for “peace and unity” often seemed to stand in the way of authentic peace and unity. When toxic positivity encounters human suffering, it’s basically telling somebody that you don’t see their hurt.

I think one of the reasons this particularly bugs me is that for a long time, I’ve tended to be guilty of it. And when somebody shares with me a hard thing, I have to make a conscious effort to not go there. One of my more Enneagram 7ish things is being able to find the silver lining in everything.

I like how Natalie Detillo described excess positivity in the Washington Post yesterday. “Think of it as having a few too many scoops of ice cream. It’s really good and it makes us feel better, but you can overdo it and it makes us sick.”

Or it’s like trying to shove ice cream into somebody’s face when they don’t feel like having ice cream. That’s not really going to make them feel better.

A screenplay with 100% happy scenes would make for a terrible movie. 

Toxic positivity dulls the vibrancy of the full human experience. 

Nothing heals that isn’t grieved.

I am fiercely committed to hope. But I can assure you that you won’t find the real thing if you make it a habit of looking away from tragedy, injustice, or heartbreak.

#231 Jude’s Sticker

18 August 2020 // San Diego, California

A couple things Rhys and I are practicing:
Our Tagalog
Emotional intelligence

One of the biggest areas of growth for me has been learning how to pursue wholeness over happiness. Sometimes, my default reaction to disruptions is to rationalize my way towards happiness rather than making room for fear, anger, or grief.

I’ve been fortunate enough to spend time in cultures that are a little more accustomed to leaving space for these feelings, and I’ve noticed that this actually opens up the space for a richer, realer sense of joy. Some of us come from cultural backgrounds or spiritual communities that actively urge us to stay focused on the positive, but I’ve found it helpful to remember that we were given these unpleasant emotions for a reason.

FEAR - Fear keeps us safe. It alerts us to threats. Fear sometimes gets stigmatized because it sometimes gets in the way of our purpose. Sure, it isn’t always in tune with reality, and shouldn’t be the final decision-maker. We have the ability to experience fear because our lives are sacred, and worth protecting. We also develop a concern over others’ safety as we grow to love other people.

ANGER - Anger exists because justice exists. We feel angry when our sense of justice has been violated, whether that’s somebody cutting us off and invading our space, or something bigger like trafficking or racism. Our sense of justice isn’t the same as what’s actually right and wrong, which is why you sometimes see outrage over pretty silly things, but it does reveal to us that justice exists and we all have the capacity to understand it. Google “anger quotes” and you’ll find so many that speak of anger in a negative way. Without control, it can create a lot of destruction, but in the right place, it’s a valuable and essential part of the healing process.

SADNESS - Sadness exists because there are sacred and valuable things. Sadness accompanies a loss or an absence, and it reminds us that what’s missing has value, whether that’s a relationship, the security that came with a relationship, the expectation of a certain kind of future, health, a loved one, a season of life, etc.

If God didn’t want us getting sad, angry, or concerned, he wouldn’t have given us that capacity in the first place! Instead, I think it’s helpful to explore what each of these emotions are there for. And we could probably keep going! We can feel guilt because we have an inner motivation to do what’s right. We can feel embarrassment because everybody has dignity. And so on.

#232 Neighboring Condos

19 August 2020 // San Diego, California

One thing that I think leads to an aversion towards recognizing our emotions- especially ones like anger or fear, is a sense of caution against being controlled by our emotions.

Yeahhhhh sometimes our own perception of justice, or of what’s a threat, can be misguided or incorrect. But it does mean we have an inner mechanism for recognizing and responding to justice, dignity, sacredness, safety, etc.

And I think that’s honestly pretty much amazing.

There are definitely people who need to better understand the importance of keeping our emotions in check and not letting them get the better of us. That said, one of the easiest ways to be controlled by your emotions is to be asleep to them, or being afraid to acknowledge them as they come.

#233 Masaya Ako

20 August 2020 // San Diego, California

The best thing I saw online all week was cellphone footage of a construction worker shoveling dirt in front of a school. Children on the other side of the fence yell “YAY!” every time dirt is moved.

I truly want to be a lot more like those kids.

#234 Makeshift Toy Box

21 August 2020 // San Diego, California

During some natural disasters, it’s easy to overlook some vulnerable populations that are affected in ways we don’t think about.

On August 10, 2020, a swift, inland hurricane, known as a derecho swept through the midwest; 700 miles across Iowa, Nebraska, and Indiana were hit.

The state of Iowa lost 40% of its corn and soybean crop- the key product of its economy. The city hit hardest was Cedar Rapids, with over 140 buildings being declared unsafe.

Immigrants accounted for 47.1 percent of total population growth in Cedar Rapids in recent years. The hub has resettled many refugees from the Congo, Burundi, Burma, and other places.

Many refugees in low-income housing complexes are now having to deal with sudden homelessness as a result.

Outside of many housing complexes built for refugees, organizations and community leaders have set up tents and gathering areas. The community support have been valuable, but COVID continues to also be a concern.

Meanwhile, multiple areas across Northern and Central California are on fire as wildfires threaten forest spaces and create hazardous air.

California continues its practice of enlisting the support of prison inmates as emergency firefighters.

Some prisoners do enjoy the opportunity to help, but the work is hazardous and the pay is often as low as $3-$5 per hour.

The modern policing and prison system in the US was built as an extension of slavery, where the unpaid work of prisoners could replace the emancipated labor force after chatel slavery.

After release, most incarcerated firefighters are unable to work for fire departments because of their criminal record, in spite of their experience.

#235 North Park Shade

22 August 2020 // San Diego, California

A lot of my friends say, “I can’t do Twitter. Just a lot of people arguing and being mean and it gives me anxiety.”

A good chunk of my newsfeed looks like people retweeting a letterboard sign at a Dunkin Donuts saying UH OH SPICY! PUMPKIN! HAHAHA PUMPKIN TASTY

#236 Wooded Walk in La Jolla

23 August 2020 // La Jolla, California

Belarus is perhaps the least democratic country in Europe. Its president, Alexander Lukashenko has often been called the continent’s last dictator.

On August 9, 2020, he declared himself the winner of an election with widespread reports of fraud. His opponent, Svetlana Tikhanovskaya left the country for fear of her family’s safety.

Protestors have taken to the streets in her support, to be met with heavy handed opposition and a violent crackdown. The government released an information blackout, blocking internet use.

The president’s chauvinistic behavior and statements like “our constitution is not for women” has brought women to the forefront of protests against his regime’s violence.

Many prominent military officers and police officials have turned away from the president and shown support for the opposition.

#237 Kid of Color

24 August 2020 // San Diego, California

This summer, I’ve had more conversations about racial injustice than ever. I’ve had so many people tell me that they thought things had gotten better, and that the world would be much better by the time my kid of color grows up. Especially for the kids of darker colors.

I have hope. And hope tells us that things CAN be better. But will they? Nothing changes if nothing changes.

This week, Jacob Blake tried to break up a fight unarmed. After seven shots to the back from police officers, he now fights for his life. His kids of color watched. His dad got on the news to share that his kid of color was now paralyzed from the waist down.

Our hope can only be as deep as our lament.

I believe that the hunger for change is real. And that hope is real. But it’s going to take more than a short spurt of self-education and symbolic gestures to stop this from happening.

We need to learn how to have a big enough imagination to dream up new systems.

We need to learn to rise to every opportunity to confront harmful ideas and beliefs.

We need to learn to accept the blessing of anger towards injustice and oppression.

We need to learn the difference between calling for peace versus calling for passivity.

It’s not a one time call to action. It’s a lifelong commitment.

Praying for Jacob Blake to pull through and to tell his story. Praying that the story moves us from comfort to change.

#238 Mexican Mule

25 August 2020 // San Diego, California

I was reading an article about how Trevor Noah shifted The Daily Show once the coronavirus lockdowns began. He’s still capable of being funny, but I doubt I would still call his show a comedy talk show. Instead it’s been full of insightful monologues, well timed challenges, and most importantly, honesty.

One thing he said in particular stood out to me.

“No rules. It’ll be what it needs to be on the day.”

That resonates so much with me and how my work has felt lately. Day job. Dad life. Creative pursuits. Everything.

The Daily Show is getting more viewers than ever right now. Like Trevor, I’ve found this approach surprisingly fruitful.

#239 Rhys in Office

26 August 2020 // San Diego, California

The MLB, MLS, NHL, NCAA, & NFL could learn a lot about when and how to let the game take a backseat to more important things by watching the NBA...

And the NBA could keep growing by taking notes from the WNBA.

The Lakers and Clippers have voted to boycott the NBA season. Most other teams voted to continue. LeBron James exited the meeting.

The LA teams were this season's favorites. Another ring would do quite a good deal of favor for LeBron in the GOAT conversation. This is not a light gesture.

#240 A Working Fridge

27 August 2020 // San Diego, California

One theme I’m observing more and more, is that with every story that captures headlines, there is almost always a group of people deeply ingrained in the story who get very little attention relative to how heavily they’re impacted by the events.

Want some examples? Parents of special needs children while classrooms are remote during COVID-19. Rural Ethiopian pastoralists during a climate crisis. Chefs preserving traditional Syrian recipes while the country that used to host these traditional meals collapses.

Just to name a few.

I happen to think the very best podcasts are really good at framing their stories this way. NPR’s Code Switch, the old show Undone by Gimlet, NPR’s Rough Translation, Radiolab to name a few… the latter did a pretty good exploration recently into how the Spanish Flu impacted places like India- often overlooked when we think back to the last worldwide pandemic.

How do you uncover stories like this? Always ask who isn’t in the picture. Landscape-shifting events have an impact that affects a mosaic of people. By going beyond the default portrayals of the people who are affected, we’ll find richer and more urgent stories where present happenings impact a mosaic of people groups.

#241 Chadwick

28 August 2020 // San Diego, California

Man this one is a tough blow.⁣

An artist is at his best when he inspires. And when you keep being given roles like Thurgood Marshall, James Brown, Jackie Robinson, and T’Challa... you know you’ve got hero material.

He knew he had something to give the world, just like the heroes he portrayed. And I’ll never forget the February night he gave us the sight of dashikis and Maasai shawls flooding the AMC lobby. He gave us three rows in the front standing and swaying to Kendrick & SZA during the credits. He gave us an obligatory X-ing of the wrists that went on for weeks after. He gave me the playlist to train for my second half marathon, but more importantly, he gave countless Black kiddos their first big screen superhero that looked like them.

Somewhere in my imagination, we discover all the bad things in 2020 come to an end when portals open up in the sky, and this is the first face that greets us.

#242 Oceanic Landbridge

29 August 2020 // San Diego, California

We need a new way of looking at each other and seeing people. Again, thinking back to the early days of this season we're in, one of the things that came to mind is just... We started to realize that, hey, the person stocking the groceries on our grocery store shelf is bringing this critical and crucial service to the world, that if you remove that piece, so many things fall apart, we no longer have access to our food that we've taken for granted. And we can say this about the farm workers in the fields who are growing that food, and the delivery drivers who are going... And I think, for me, that really challenged this notion. 

I spend a lot of time in circles where we like to dream big and imagine our purpose and our life's calling, and I think that's a great thing. And I think we often associate that with having some sort of role that involves maybe a stage or a mega platform, or something. And just realizing that there's that same sense of calling and purpose in bringing something to the world that is important, is just as true for the farm worker, and the driver, and the stocker, and the cashier, and all the personnel. 

I hope one of the things that we move into is no longer taking that for granted, or no longer seeing them as lesser important roles, because they aren't.

#243 Radishes and Polenta

30 August 2020 // San Diego, California

Shoutout to everyone going through a stretch of wildly uncomfortable but undeniably necessary growth right now. Real growth is almost never comfortable. It’s tiring. It tests almost every relationship you have, even with yourself. But the results are SO WORTH THE PROCESS.

#244 10 Months of Rhys

31 August 2020 // San Diego, California

My baby Baymax just updated to version 10.0 months old.

I am spending a TON of time with this kid these days. We had some snags with our childcare situation and have had to get pretty creative with taking care of Rhys while working from home. And while it’s hopefully temporary and not the most ideal situation, getting all this time with him has also been a pretty big gift.

Someday, I’ll be older. He’ll be older. And I’d give so much to live one day back in these bodies in this year- 2020- the one we rightfully love to collectively dunk on.

This month’s highlights:

🛸 He figured out how to hitch a ride on the vacuum cleaner all on his own.
👟 New PR for steps taken: 1️⃣5️⃣!
🌳 Parks every day! Lovin’ the outdoors as always.
🐷 Piggyback rides are kinda the best now.
🦀 The tide pools are one of our favorite spots in town. So much to discover.
🔥 There’s no place we’d rather be than trying to climb up into the fireplace

Where Are You Going First?

Our summer trips were all cancelled so we’re standing in front of this picture where the Land Of Make Believe currently looks a lot like BANFF!
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(Actually this was taken almost four months ago. This rapidly growing kiddo doesn’t let me get away with posting non-chronological photos like I used to!)
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🍁

Anyways... for all those dreaming about being able to travel again, where’s the first place you’re off to when that’s a thing again?
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Of course the *real* answer has a lot of variables out of our control but there are a few places I’ve been talking about a lot lately:
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🇻🇳 Vietnam - The dream: our guide gives us the inside scoop as we make our way out of Hanoi towards some waterfalls. But first we gotta stop at this noodle shop. Oh, hey, it’s that same one Obama and Bourdain went to. Whatttttt.
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🇦🇺🇳🇿 Australia/New Zealand- Sorry. I know Aussies & NZers aren’t keen on being lumped together like this, but the stuff that interests me about both countries is so similar. Wildlife, outdoor adventures, fun people. Plus most of the airlines I have vouchers for fly there.
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🇯🇵 Japan - We were here last in 2014, but a weekend in Tokyo was not enough time. Dreaming of some of its less urban wonders.
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🇨🇩 DR Congo - This is one of my trips from this year I’m the most sad to have called off! It was gonna be a work trip, but I’ve felt such a strong sense of connection to the Congo for a long time it’s a bit of a surprise I haven’t been there yet. Of course the DRC has a very fragile health infrastructure so I wouldn’t risk this trip until I can be absolutely sure I’m keeping this virus out of the villages!
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🇪🇸 Spain - I’ve caught so many sights and smells lately that give me serious Spanish summer vibes and I’ll take that as a sign.
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I could rewrite this list in a week or two with totally different places, though. What places are you eyeballing?

Discovering Sufjan

Oh hey Rhys, Age of Adz is a great album and still holds up after ten years! BUT, Illinois or Seven Swans are much more accessible entry points and provide the context that can help you appreciate more experimental flavors like Impossible Soul.

Looking forward to Ascension.
What’s everybody listening to these days? Old faves? New stuff?

Joy, Justice, and John Lewis

When you learn how to pursue joy and justice at the very same time, great things happen.
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🌐🌐🌐
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It’s been great seeing people dive deeper into John Lewis’ legacy. While I’ve always admired the bylines of his life that get printed in history books, it’s been a treat to hear more about his humanity from people who got to work with him.
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When the Supreme Court invalidated parts of the Voting Rights Act he fought so hard for, he mentioned wanting to cry. He would tear up when talking about old friends in the fight for Civil Rights who were lost too soon.
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He also…
🧥 cosplayed as his younger self at San Diego Comic-Con.
🕴🏿crowd-surfed at the age of 78 on Colbert.
🧔🏾drafted April Fools’ press releases about growing a beard.
📹 showed up in a Young Jeezy video.
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He knew how to grieve, and he knew how to celebrate and play.
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⛰
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It reminds me of something Henri Nouwen always talked about: “We tend to stay away from mourning and dancing. Too afraid to cry, too shy to dance… we become narrow-minded complainers, avoiding pain and also true human joy… While we live in a world subject to the evil one, we belong to God. Let us mourn, and let us dance.” Or as Octavia Butler says, “Make people FEEL! FEEL! FEEL!”
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Building a real legacy calls for thick skin and a soft heart. It’s so easy to have one without the other, and so tough to cultivate them both. What helps? Seeing life as an adventure. Caring about something bigger than yourself. Taking the time to play. Letting yourself be humbled regularly.

Adventure Still Matters

Adventure still matters.
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Even during a pandemic and everything.
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🌁
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Going somewhere unfamiliar, letting yourself be blown away by nature, and tapping into a sense of wonder makes us better people. Humble. Grateful. Soft-hearted. And our world needs those qualities so badly right now.

Take the precautions, of course. But don’t starve yourself of wonder.
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⛰⛰⛰

The other weekend, we found a peak to climb in Lakeside. It was way hotter than we were planning (triple digits, ugh) and while the trail wasn’t long, it got real steep towards the end. I’m pretty impressed with my eight month old’s endurance.
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At the peak, a pile of boulders formed the perfect cave. After climbing around, we ducked into the cave where the shade cooled things down considerably. The rocks formed a perfect wind tunnel, letting us cool off while snagging an amazing panoramic view.
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It felt so good and right to be out there. To be reminded of that sense of aliveness that I haven’t gotten enough of in a while.
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🌄🌄🌄

Adventures are a bit harder to orchestrate these days. But if you need to, figure out how to do something while taking all the precautions to keep others safe. If you need to, reframe what you consider an adventure.
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🛶
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What are you doing to keep adventure alive, in spite of it all?