Trikafta

When I was recapping the best things that happened to me in 2020, I left out the biggest one because… this story takes a little more space to tell.
⁣
In early 2016, Deanna got sick. Like, really sick. Her lung function dropped to 22% and we had to spend a week in the hospital. It was only our eighth month of being married, and it was scary. By later that year, she had recovered fairly well. She even ran a half-marathon with me a few months after being discharged.
⁣
Then in early 2018, she got a pretty bad lung infection that needed IV antibiotics. She recovered, then had another in October. In 2019, she had two infections that needed IV antibiotics while pregnant with Rhys.
⁣
This pattern was really concerning, and I tried to not worry about what would happen if it continued over the course of the next few years, but your mind goes there, especially when starting a family.

Then, on the very same week that Rhys was born, this new drug came out. It was the first of its kind, using genetic therapies to treat the underlying causes behind all the infections. The trial results and early testimonies from people who used it almost seemed too good to be true, so I tried not to get my hopes up. And we held off on taking it for a bit, not knowing if it was breastfeeding safe.
⁣
Then a pandemic broke out in the spring and being vulnerable to lung issues, we wanted every defense we could get. Deanna started taking it in April, and the effects have been a real game changer. I no longer hear the regular, everyday coughing I’d gotten used to over the past few years.
⁣
I can breathe more easily about my family’s future, and Deanna can, very literally, breathe more easily.
⁣
The two biggest prayers of my life were answered in October 2019.
⁣
I know everyone is doing their own version of grieving and healing after this year, and so many terrible things happened. But it was also a year where I got to see a health breakthrough, and my kid grow up. Here’s hoping our story has something in it that helps you with your own.

Figuring It Out

You don’t have to have it all figured out.
⁣
In a more ordinary version of late December, I spend a lot of time looking forward to the next year. Thinking about all the trips and adventures to look forward to, setting parameters around some ambitious project, and making a bunch of lists. But right now, we’re looking at a whole lot of unknowns.
⁣
I don’t totally know what my work and creative projects will look like. Childcare is going to be a huge question mark, and so are some financial things. I don’t know what trips are coming and or when.

One of the many, many things this year has taught me has been the sheer value of taking things on one day at a time, and simply doing things the way you need to for that particular day. Our over-industrialized world tends to forget the value of mystery, but, what good is a journey when every single move is scripted and there are no surprises?
⁣
The best way to take on an adventure is with just enough strategy to make things happen and just enough spontaneity to improvise when the surprises come.

Work on the Ecosystem

How many times have you looked around at people’s thoughts, behaviors, or words lately and thought, “wow, things need to change.”
⁣
“We have a lot of work to do.”
⁣
I studied both communication and international studies. Two of my big interests continue to be the way people send messages to each other and the way the world changes. I’m especially interested in the crossroads of those two things: how do people communicate in a way that influences how the world works?
⁣
I think lately, it’s been easy to look at how various messages get used to incite division and create mistrust. But, I’ve seen enough moments of change around the world to know it can be used for good.

Here’s the idea I’ve been working with lately: you don’t need to convert every single person from a wrong idea to the right idea. You literally can’t. Trying to do this and zooming in on every individual debate opportunity is a recipe for burnout and discouragement. Instead, you can work on creating an ecosystem where better ideas thrive. To play with that metaphor, it’s better to heal the soil than to prevent every single plant from dying.
⁣
Successful movements like suffrage, abolition, and LGBT rights didn’t rely on a strategy of getting every single person to listen, understand, and accept their message. They instead shifted the ecosystem, making it a little easier for people to come on board year-after-year.

🌐 It’s why I think creativity is a key ingredient to changemaking.
🌐 It’s why I spend a lot less energy on unproductive debates and focus more on amplifying worthy messages.
🌐 It’s why I increasingly see clarity as kindness.
🌐 It’s why I think beauty- something that gives us no choice but to collectively stop and marvel- can create change.
🌐 It’s why I think creating from a place of empathy and knowing your audience matters.

Don't Bail on Compassion

There’s a light at the end of the tunnel of this whole pandemic mess.
⁣
Deanna might be eligible to get the vaccine in a matter of weeks, being in a pretty high priority group. We’ve talked about what life might look like after this very weird, very challenging stretch for us.
⁣
I’ve found it easier to start dreaming. Travel. Possibilities. And while my travel list always runs long, it feels a bit more specific lately. I’m really excited to get back to my passion for finding places, people, and things that capture my wonder and telling stories about them. And I suspect it’ll be even sweeter with this massive experience to always remind me not to take the process for granted.

That said… we’re not done yet.
⁣
Numbers-wise, cases are worse than they’ve ever been. In the US, in particular. I’ve read too many posts from friends working at hospitals expressing exhaustion and serious concern over the fact that people’s behavior on their online posts doesn’t seem to match the atmosphere within hospitals.
⁣
I’ve never been one to promote fear, but I do go all in on compassion. A stretch of intensified lockdowns and newer restrictions is nobody’s preference for how to end a year that’s been a rough one all around, but I do find a renewed sense of determination when I remember who my actions impact.
⁣
Wear the mask. Shop small for gifts. Avoid going out as much as you can. Call up people you want to reconnect with. Dream big. Replace the purchases you’d make at big box stores or off Amazon with indie businesses, the meals from chain restaurants with mom-and-pops. If you can, donate to a local food bank or org fighting eviction.
⁣
Just don’t bail on compassion.

Joshua de la Cruz

Some of you might not be keeping up with the latest on Blue’s Clues so let me fill you in on what’s going on in Blue’s House:

🏡 Joshua de la Cruz and his Lola have taken over and it is now a house of bibingka.

I saw this thought tweeted by EJ Ramos David right around the same time Disney released their Christmas advert showing a Filipino family. To be honest, representation is something I learned not to even expect. But when you actually see it, it’s everything.

So... enjoy your Blues Clues fan art everybody. 🇵🇭 Print sales go to relief for Typhoon Goni.

December 2020

#336 Giving Tuesday: Plant One Tree

01 December 2020 // San Diego, California

It’s #GivingTuesday and the thing I’m most excited about is planting trees. Did you know that planting a tree only costs a buck???

$1 = 🌲

It’s been a rough year for… well, pretty much everybody. I’ve seen a lot of my favorite nonprofits make the painful call to let go of some staff. And some of the people who have it hardest were those who nonprofits serve. Those struggling with safety, food security, ecological health, etc.

There’s this quote that gets attributed (probably incorrectly) to Martin Luther. “Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree.”

There’s a similar energy I’ve seen from @plantwpurpose communities this year. The image of families planting a tree that improves the land for generations especially stands out in the middle of a pandemic, tropical storms, political unrest, and everything else that’s come up. It’s the simplest act of hope and belief that their kids could still one day live in a better world.

Go check out the link in my bio to plant trees at a buck a piece. I can’t think of a better return. It’s one of the most accessible, low-cost, but high-impact ways to help people for years to come.

#337 Und1sputed

02 December 2020 // San Diego, California

Every year, one of my favorite projects is going to one of Plant With Purpose’s program countries to capture the story of one of our partners via video. I really enjoy visiting the country, meeting the family, interviewing, and dreaming up how to turn all that into a video.

It’s 2020, so that didn’t quite happen, BUT we still got a video made! We leaned more heavily on our Dominican partners to introduce us to Gladys and Esteban. We worked with a DR-based team, @primeagenciafotografica to visit their community and capture footage. Then I got to work with @hepburncreative who turned it into this piece!

I’m glad we still came out with this product in spite of it all. That said, I miss visiting our partners. Here’s hoping to get a video the more traditional way in 2021!

#338 Tagged

03 December 2020 // San Diego, California

Did you know I have a little print shop running? Here’s the story behind it:

Over the summer, a few of my illustrations kind of took off, and I started getting asked a lot if there was somewhere people could buy prints of my work. It took some time to figure out how to do this without stacks of posters all over my house (because, one year old) or needing to make trips to the post office every day (because, that’s a lot).

When I ran the numbers, it looked like selling each poster would barely break even. Then I realized, most people don’t buy posters of things they’re lukewarm about. If something goes on my wall, it’s because of passion! I decided to make the posters a little more premium, earning closer to $5-10 profit per item a good chunk of which could then be donated to a cause fitting of that poster!

#339 Spreckles Organ

04 December 2020 // San Diego, California

I learned about Rafer Johnson’s passing yesterday.

I was lucky enough to met Rafer Johnson six years ago while teaching special needs students. He was a great athlete and contributed to Civil Rights. Also had an amazing third act as a disability rights advocate.

#340 Explore Mode Rhys

05 December 2020 // San Diego, California

I wasn’t sure about a Christmas tree this year since we have literally no plans, and cause we have a thirteen year old who’s still figuring out the whole “nice hands” thing. But I do love our yearly trip to a family owned tree farm, the smell of the fresh pines, and supporting some local foresters.

We grabbed a very small stone pine as well as a rosemary sapling. And we got to update last year’s Christmas photo that we grabbed when Rhys was a brand new squish.

#341 Family Christmas Tree Farm

06 December 2020 // El Cajon, California

I’ve definitely benefited a lot from the Enneagram and learning how not to get too ridiculous as a 7. I don’t exactly write about it a ton, because there are so many who do it better, but it’s such a helpful lens for me that I find it hard not to.

Apparently I wrote enough, however, to be invited to present at the Enneagram Global Summit.

I didn’t realize how big the event would be until I saw Ross Hudson promote it- one of the guys who really helped popularize the Enneagram about 25 years ago. I decided to check out the lineup and was blown away by the names mine appeared beside. Sarahjane Case. Suzanne Stabile. Helen Palmer. Sleeping At Last.

I gave my presentation on the Enneagram and the environment, focusing on how to create social change.

#342 Sculpted Foods

07 December 2020 // San Diego, California

Dreaming feels easier these days. Almost two easy. On one hand, it might be the effect of living such a restricted life for so long.

On the other, it feels like the right thing to do right now. And I can’t say it’s felt that way at different points during this strange pandemic journey.

I keep writing out lists of things i want to make, stories I want to tell, and places I want to go. (Okay, I always do that, but these lists are more like, places I want to go as soon as it’s remotely possible.)

No New Years resolutions from me until I finish my Old Years resolution of starting and completing Ted Lasso.

#343 Clay Bibingka

08 December 2020 // San Diego, California

Some of you might not be keeping up with the latest on Blue’s Clues so let me fill you in on what’s going on in Blue’s House:

🏡 Joshua de la Cruz and his Lola have taken over and it is now a house of bibingka.

I saw this thought tweeted by EJ Ramos David right around the same time Disney released their Christmas advert showing a Filipino family. To be honest, representation is something I learned not to even expect. But when you actually see it, it’s everything.

So... enjoy your Blues Clues fan art everybody. 🇵🇭 Print sales go to relief for Typhoon Goni.

#344 Making Yeungyen

09 December 2020 // San Diego, California

Current obsession: Making this Hong Kong favorite drink that combines sweet black milk tea with some coffee.

Really looking forward to being able to go back and explore Asia.

#345 All About Process

10 December 2020 // San Diego, California

There’s a light at the end of the tunnel of this whole pandemic mess.⁣

Deanna might be eligible to get the vaccine in a matter of weeks, being in a pretty high priority group. We’ve talked about what life might look like after this very weird, very challenging stretch for us.

I’ve found it easier to start dreaming. Travel. Possibilities. And while my travel list always runs long, it feels a bit more specific lately. I’m really excited to get back to my passion for finding places, people, and things that capture my wonder and telling stories about them. And I suspect it’ll be even sweeter with this massive experience to always remind me not to take the process for granted.

That said… we’re not done yet.⁣

Numbers-wise, cases are worse than they’ve ever been. In the US, in particular. I’ve read too many posts from friends working at hospitals expressing exhaustion and serious concern over the fact that people’s behavior on their online posts doesn’t seem to match the atmosphere within hospitals.⁣

I’ve never been one to promote fear, but I do go all in on compassion. A stretch of intensified lockdowns and newer restrictions is nobody’s preference for how to end a year that’s been a rough one all around, but I do find a renewed sense of determination when I remember who my actions impact.

Wear the mask. Shop small for gifts. Avoid going out as much as you can. Call up people you want to reconnect with. Dream big. Replace the purchases you’d make at big box stores or off Amazon with indie businesses, the meals from chain restaurants with mom-and-pops. If you can, donate to a local food bank or org fighting eviction.

Just don’t bail on compassion.

#346 Baby Bath

11 December 2020 // San Diego, California

Rando Instagram spammers have totally desensitized me to potentially sincere compliments about my pictures’ compositions.

#347 rhys’ favorite bridge

12 December 2020 // San Diego, California

How many times have you looked around at people’s thoughts, behaviors, or words lately and thought, “wow, things need to change.”

“We have a lot of work to do.”

I studied both communication and international studies. Two of my big interests continue to be the way people send messages to each other and the way the world changes. I’m especially interested in the crossroads of those two things: how do people communicate in a way that influences how the world works?

⁣I think lately, it’s been easy to look at how various messages get used to incite division and create mistrust. But, I’ve seen enough moments of change around the world to know it can be used for good.

Here’s the idea I’ve been working with lately: you don’t need to convert every single person from a wrong idea to the right idea. You literally can’t. Trying to do this and zooming in on every individual debate opportunity is a recipe for burnout and discouragement. Instead, you can work on creating an ecosystem where better ideas thrive. To play with that metaphor, it’s better to heal the soil than to prevent every single plant from dying.⁣

Successful movements like suffrage, abolition, and LGBT rights didn’t rely on a strategy of getting every single person to listen, understand, and accept their message. They instead shifted the ecosystem, making it a little easier for people to come on board year-after-year.

🌐 It’s why I think creativity is a key ingredient to changemaking.

🌐 It’s why I spend a lot less energy on unproductive debates and focus more on amplifying worthy messages.

🌐 It’s why I increasingly see clarity as kindness.

🌐 It’s why I think beauty- something that gives us no choice but to collectively stop and marvel- can create change.

🌐 It’s why I think creating from a place of empathy and knowing your audience matters.

#348 Plantshopping

13 December 2020 // Encinitas, California

“I recently was in a talk with a friend who said, "You can't talk about race without talking about place, those things go hand in hand."

It's a multi-layered kind of dynamic, because the way systemic racism works is there's a narrative that black people shouldn't be tied to the land, right? There's also some negative narratives and tropes to black people being tied to the land, but actually, land is a huge source for communal nourishment and physical nourishment as well.”

–Aaron Rogers

🌿✊🏾🌿

For a few weeks, I’ve been working on a podcast episode on environmental antiracism. It got delayed a couple times by technical things, but I think that just maybe… it was supposed to come out this week where our social failures have been quite visible.

Environmental justice and racial justice are two things I have a strong sense of urgency towards. And I think they should be seen as deeply connected. They ARE deeply connected. Getting to talk about that connection… especially through a spiritual lens was my kinda trifecta.

The Black American church has done so much to fully integrate my personal faith practices with actions geared towards collective healing and loving my neighbors, and I was really glad to have two scholars and pastors from that tradition join me: Aaron Rogers from Faith For Justice and Ben Sanders from Eden Theological Seminary. I also got to include a conversation with Carol Bremer Bennet looking at environmental antiracism from a Navajo perspective.

#349 map effects

14 December 2020 // San Diego, California

I spent the afternoon studying how to make illustrated maps using Adobe After Effects.

It’s pretty amazing to me that this is a skill that can be used to make some pretty intensive animations, and lots of dynamic video displays too. At the same time, it’s so readily accessible.

All it took was a two hour course on Skillshare and I have enough of an orientation to start trying to figure out the specific things I want to do.

#350 Fern Street Park

15 December 2020 // San Diego, California

I’ve been eager to make some plans for 2021, and while the future is still fuzzy for things like travel, here are some odd topics/skills I want to learn next year:

Bento box Japanese cooking

Herb Moss

Animated maps

Tumbler glass Mezcal

#351 Cookie Jar Dog

16 December 2020 // San Diego, California

This is usually my favorite part of the year. I love the end of one year and the beginning of another. I love year-end recaps of all kinds, from DJ Earworm’s mashups to Google’s Year in Search. I love being able to dream pretty big about the following year and just speculate about where it might take me. I love making lists. I’m a very future-oriented person, often to a fault.

This year has been a weird one, and that applies to these things, too. For most of the year, I’ve been very reserved about making plans. There were points where planning ahead felt like denial or arrogance. But also, planning ahead felt scary. What if they get all ruined again?

But lately, that’s started to shift. I’ve again felt more and more like looking ahead. To 2021, sure, but also to the vast stretch of future beyond that.⁣

Sometimes I think about my 22-year-old self, just finishing school with a large amount of desire to see various parts of the world, to be a part of solving various problems, and to tell stories that share that wonder with other people. And when I think of the years in between then and now, so many of those things happened! Not always in the way I expected, but the big picture worked out. And it all started with a little boldness to dream and anticipate.

I started making a list… an actual spreadsheet called dream projects. All the things I want to explore, stories I want to tell, and the places it would require me to go. I want to make mini-docs about baobab trees, mezcal, and shopping mall culture in Southeast Asian countries. I want to find the perfect bowl of pho and to do an extended bike trip in Germany. And writing this all down honestly felt right and like the weirdest spiritual discipline that I can’t explain. But it felt like a bit like being a dream-filled 22 year old again.

If that pattern even remotely repeats itself, there’s a lot to look forward to. And even if not, the anticipation itself is a process to enjoy.

#352 Neighboring Condo

17 December 2020 // San Diego, California

I was not at all expecting to wake up to the news of Major League Baseball reclassifying the Negro Leagues as part of the league, but it’s good news, long overdue, and it makes total sense.

Congrats to Josh Gibson, who I think is now baseball’s all-time GOAT. Curious to see how many HRs they decide he ended his career with. Likely 800+

#353 Icelandic Poppy

18 December 2020 // San Diego, California

It wasn’t all bad. Part 1.

I mean, 2020 was pretty bad, but good things happened too and I feel like we could all benefit from hearing each others’ wins:

1️⃣

Deanna got her license in clinical social work. I can’t emphasize enough how long that process was, how persistent she was, and how much better that makes our lives. Not to mention, all the people she’ll be in a position to help.⁣

2️⃣

I got to spend a whole lot of time with Rhys. A lot, a lot. And while a lot of those times weren’t easy, they were also sweet. I got to see grow up so much without missing much at all.

3️⃣

This year, I got to spend a lot of time with my aunts- the two living members of my dad’s generation of his family. I always hoped they’d get to see my kids someday. Lo and behold, they not only met Rhys but we were in a quarantine pod together for months, ranging in age from 4 months to 87 years.

My Auntie Ella was our inspiration for Rhys’ middle name, and someone who reminds me that generosity and a sense of doing what’s right for those with less are a part of our family’s roots. Every moment I get to spend with her and my Aunt Fely is extra special.

⁣Alright, what we’re your wins?

#354 Guadalupe Plaza

19 December 2020 // San Diego, California

I was looking over the YouTube comments of one of my favorite filmmakers who just produced a film about Romania.

Every other comment was from a Romanian excited and grateful for the beautiful way she captured the country’s mountains.

It reminded me of how I want people to feel after the stories I tell. Grateful. And for people who are from the population I want to tell stories about, also a sense of pride.

#355 Corner Arrangements

20 December 2020 // San Diego, California

Here are a few more good things that happened to me in 2020:

I really learned how to rest, and how to be excited about creative projects without committing every single hour to productivity. I’ve found lots of value in getting lost in a good show, going down a YouTube rabbit hole, playing video games, and things creative gurus say not to.

I had the goal to do one big speaking gig a month, and thought that was done when all events got cancelled. Instead I got more opportunities than ever in the form of virtual events, plus podcast interviews and writing contribution opportunities.

I haven’t been able to travel and capture stories in nearly two years, and that’s my favorite thing to do. In spite of that- I have a lot more inspiration, vision, and even technical skill than I did at that time and will be truly ready for it.

#356 Lola’s Elf

21 December 2020 // San Diego, California

You don’t have to have it all figured out.

In a more ordinary version of late December, I spend a lot of time looking forward to the next year. Thinking about all the trips and adventures to look forward to, setting parameters around some ambitious project, and making a bunch of lists. But right now, we’re looking at a whole lot of unknowns.

I don’t totally know what my work and creative projects will look like. Childcare is going to be a huge question mark, and so are some financial things. I don’t know what trips are coming and or when.⁣

One of the many, many things this year has taught me has been the sheer value of taking things on one day at a time, and simply doing things the way you need to for that particular day. Our over-industrialized world tends to forget the value of mystery, but, what good is a journey when every single move is scripted and there are no surprises?

The best way to take on an adventure is with just enough strategy to make things happen and just enough spontaneity to improvise when the surprises come.

#357 Balboa Playtime

22 December 2020 // San Diego, California

Ethical storytelling restrictions are meant to be restrictive. They’re meant to bring out better stories. I still believe that storytelling is powerful, and telling stories that call people’s attention towards things that matter. I want to live in a world where people fight like hell against things that are wrong and also one where people take extreme delight in everything beautiful and mind blowing. Every story well told brings that world into existence.

#358 The Second Haircut

23 December 2020 // San Diego, California

I hate it when you discover some effort to do good hasn’t actually had a very positive impact… like with recycling or greenwashed goods. But the important thing to remember is that these efforts got so complicated in the first place because they weren’t designed to solve a problem as much as they were designed to solve the way we felt about a problem. 

It’s important that our efforts to do good go beyond wishful thinking.

#359 Montclair Park

24 December 2020 // San Diego, California

When I was recapping the best things that happened to me in 2020, I left out the biggest one because… this story takes a little more space to tell.

In early 2016, Deanna got sick. Like, really sick. Her lung function dropped to 22% and we had to spend a week in the hospital. It was only our eighth month of being married, and it was scary. By later that year, she had recovered fairly well. She even ran a half-marathon with me a few months after being discharged.

Then in early 2018, she got a pretty bad lung infection that needed IV antibiotics. She recovered, then had another in October. In 2019, she had two infections that needed IV antibiotics while pregnant with Rhys.

This pattern was really concerning, and I tried to not worry about what would happen if it continued over the course of the next few years, but your mind goes there, especially when starting a family.⁣

Then, on the very same week that Rhys was born, this new drug came out. It was the first of its kind, using genetic therapies to treat the underlying causes behind all the infections. The trial results and early testimonies from people who used it almost seemed too good to be true, so I tried not to get my hopes up. And we held off on taking it for a bit, not knowing if it was breastfeeding safe.

Then a pandemic broke out in the spring and being vulnerable to lung issues, we wanted every defense we could get. Deanna started taking it in April, and the effects have been a real game changer. I no longer hear the regular, everyday coughing I’d gotten used to over the past few years.⁣

I can breathe more easily about my family’s future, and Deanna can, very literally, breathe more easily.

The two biggest prayers of my life were answered in October 2019.

I know everyone is doing their own version of grieving and healing after this year, and so many terrible things happened. But it was also a year where I got to see a health breakthrough, and my kid grow up. Here’s hoping our story has something in it that helps you with your own.

#360 The Simplest Christmas

25 December 2020 // San Diego, California

Merry Christmas from this wild, tree loving, adventure hungry crew.

🌲🌲🌲

It’s just the three of us this year, plus Beignet of course. As much as I love full houses packed with loved ones, and adventures as far off as I can think of, it feels really, really right to embrace the fact that today is a simple, intimate one for this team. I hope today can be whatever your soul needs it to be.⁣

Now to spend the rest of the day obsessing over my new Japanese cookbook and skillet, saving Rhys from a few head bumps, grooving to the Jingle Jangle soundtrack, and finally getting to watch Soul.

#361 Rhys’ Tower

26 December 2020 // San Diego, California

Lots of people find the last week of the year awkward as you never know what day of the week it is. I think that’s one of the things I love about it.

Anything that makes me feel more free from our culture’s excessive time awareness is a treat.

#362 La Jolla

27 December 2020 // La Jolla, California

2020 wasn’t as expected, but I went the “good” kind of viral for antiracism resources I made, learned to hold things loosely, further detached my value from productivity, relearned rest, set better boundaries, worried less about people’s opinions, and started dreaming big again.

#363 The Boldest Rainbow

28 December 2020 // San Diego, California

I don’t cry very often, but a disproportionate amount of times I tear up are at animated movies. Some of them just play to the feels. Here’s my reaction to Soul.

First of all- I loved it. And I’m not surprised by that at all. Pete Docter and the Pixar crew taking on existential questions about life’s purpose featuring a bunch of jazz? Yes please!

My main takeaway from watching this was that a lot of us spend our days waiting for our “big break,” whatever that means for us- and it’s tempting to think that this is when our lives will really get good. Really, life is made up of ordinary but still sacred moments. Having a passion is a good thing, but it’s not really our purpose.

My favorite was the barbershop scene, featuring someone whose dreams didn’t work out but who still found a way to love his life. It reminded me of a conversation I had with a friend who took a big risk to launch a music career. “I’ve had to ask myself if I’m willing to accept what happens if this dream doesn’t come true,” she told me.⁣

Sometimes I get tempted to keep holding back until I get a “big break” which is kinda silly, given that I’ve already had a few of my wildest hopes come true. But I’ve been on this journey for a few years of trying to focus less on results and to love the process more. This year was a great teacher.

Did you see Soul yet? What did you gain from it?

#364 The Soggiest Boy

29 December 2020 // San Diego, California

I light up when I hear somebody described as “your favorite artist’s favorite artist-” or something like that.

Roy Halladay was probably your favorite pitcher’s favorite pitcher.

MF Doom was your favorite rapper’s favorite rapper.

If you have a creative influence, you’ll want to check out who they were influenced by and dig into those creative roots. It’s like unearthing whole new layers to the art that inspires your own.

#365 DJI Osmo Pocket

30 December 2020 // San Diego, California

This year was such a weird one, and while I miss all the adventures that usually mark a year, I feel so strongly and deeply that I didn’t waste this year. In fact, relative to a lot of other recent end-of-year pulse reads, I’m perhaps a little more happy with myself for the way I showed up.

Putting all comforts and conveniences aside to take care of Rhys without thinning about it.

Finding and discovering my voice during pivotal social moments.

Getting creative, thinking ahead, and keeping my family safe during a pandemic.

Maybe there was less fun than expected, but I know I fully leaned into being the kind of person I want to grow into. Lessgo.

#366 Babies on a Hike

31 December 2020 // San Diego, California

One of the best ways to redeem a year like this one is to actually take the time to think through the lessons it had for us, to articulate the things we see differently from last January, and to make simple but doable plans for incorporating those lessons into our lives. Here are a few things that really sunk home:

💠Clarity is an act of kindness in a complex world. Sometimes we hold back saying important things for the sake of avoiding controversy. We veil our thoughts and true selves behind ambiguity. That usually serves no one but ourselves.

💠Whenever you speak up about things that matter, there will always be some who just won’t get it. Don’t worry too much about that. Definitely don’t let it stop ya. Just keep working on cultivating an ecosystem built on your values.⁣

💠Fear, anger, and sadness are valuable gifts that keep us safe, orient us towards justice, and remind us of what has value. Toxic positivity cuts us off from these gifts.

💠Our Creator has given us everything we need… not just for survival, but to THRIVE. Don’t let the “running the world like a business” mindset trick you into seeing scarcity, instead of abundance and connection.

⁣

💠You come to life when your pursuit of joy and your pursuit of justice get intertwined.

⁣

💠Don’t fear death, but don’t be its ally. All of us are vulnerable to how uncertain life is. That should be all the more reason to spend our lives serving the most vulnerable.

💠 Productivity shouldn’t be confused with purpose. Our culture has DEEPLY wired us to find value in our output. Relearn those instincts. Enjoy the process.

Happy New Years to ya. Happy to share this wild ride.

Print Shop

Did you know I have a little print shop running? Here’s the story behind it:
⁣
Over the summer, a few of my illustrations kind of took off, and I started getting asked a lot if there was somewhere people could buy prints of my work. It took some time to figure out how to do this without stacks of posters all over my house (because, one year old) or needing to make trips to the post office every day (because, that’s a lot).
⁣
When I ran the numbers, it looked like selling each poster would barely break even. Then I realized, most people don’t buy posters of things they’re lukewarm about. If something goes on my wall, it’s because of passion! I decided to make the posters a little more premium, earning closer to $5-10 profit per item a good chunk of which could then be donated to a cause fitting of that poster!
⁣
Shop here.
⁣
Here’s a few pieces I’ve worked on lately that I haven’t shared here yet:

Something to celebrate the 100 year anniversary of women’s voting rights… or at least the start of women’s voting rights.

A tribute to Sir Ken Robinson, who a lot of people might know from his TED Talk on education. He passed away this summer. I’ve loved so much of what he had to say about creativity, imagination, and learning.

A piece to celebrate our local USL soccer team- last year, they forfeited a game in protest when an opponent directed slurs at a gay player, effectively sacrificing their playoff chances. They did a similar thing when racial slurs were directed at a Black player a month earlier. I’ve needed a local team to get behind!

A Fernando Tatis Jr. piece, cause, that guy’s got to be the most fun player to watch these days.

Plant One Tree

It’s #GivingTuesday and the thing I’m most excited about is planting trees. Did you know that planting a tree only costs a buck???
⁣
$1 = 🌲
⁣
It’s been a rough year for… well, pretty much everybody. I’ve seen a lot of my favorite nonprofits make the painful call to let go of some staff. And some of the people who have it hardest were those who nonprofits serve. Those struggling with safety, food security, ecological health, etc.
⁣
🌳🌳🌳🥦
⁣
There’s this quote that gets attributed (probably incorrectly) to Martin Luther. “Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree.”
⁣
There’s a similar energy I’ve seen from @plantwpurpose communities this year. The image of families planting a tree that improves the land for generations especially stands out in the middle of a pandemic, tropical storms, political unrest, and everything else that’s come up. It’s the simplest act of hope and belief that their kids could still one day live in a better world.
⁣
Go check out the link in my bio to plant trees at a buck a piece. I can’t think of a better return. It’s one of the most accessible, low-cost, but high-impact ways to help people for years to come.

The Thankful List

What I’m thankful for feels kind of obvious: my family and the way this wild time has strengthened our ties. We’ve been safe and healthy. We have jobs we find meaningful, and we’ve grown so much in terms of finding our voice, setting boundaries, and being emotionally honest. It hasn’t been easy, but we have it good.

That said... here’s a quick list of some less predictable stuff I’m also thankful for this year.
⁣
🔸 My green micropuff jacket in heavy rotation these days.
🔸 Buying an oversized tent four years ago and reaping the rewards now with a kid.
🔸 Dancing to @kokokomusic with Rhys
🔸 MLB The Show.
🔸 Hummingbirds.
🔸 Over The Moon.
🔸 Ramy, season two.
🔸 Healthy enneagram 8s.
🔸 These accounts: @blackliturgies + @blackcoffeewithwhitefriends + @mspackyetti
🔸 Trader Joe’s Greek Yogurt Oatmeal Cookies.
🔸 The “We have _____ at home” dad meme.
⁣
What are the less obvious things are you thankful for?

Hard, But We'll Miss It

Moment of honesty here, the past two months have been hard.
⁣
Because of some pretty complicated issues going on in my family, our childcare situation fell through. Because we’re in the middle of a pandemic, we don’t really have any other options but juggling Rhys while doing our jobs from home. It’s a LOT.
⁣
I wake up basically as early as possible to do as much work as possible before Deanna starts working. Then around 10, I’m with Rhys all day, only getting stuff done during naps. He’s also a carbon copy of my energy level, a very early walker, and not the biggest napper, so those hours are a handful. I’ve taken so many meetings with a wild rumpus going on just off camera as I carefully DJ that mute button.

Here’s what’s kept me going (other than not really having a choice)– I know I’m doing the right thing, and I know someday I’ll miss this.
⁣
Even though days feel pretty long, I can still feel pretty good knowing that I’ve made my family the priority, been firm with boundaries, and left nothing undone to take care of them. It’s the sort of thing that you don’t regret.
⁣
And it’s come with the huge perk of getting to spend so much time with Rhys during this pretty dynamic time in his development. We go on near-daily adventures to parks so he can explore, and Rhys has become much more of a daddy stan lately! (Moms really have the early advantage, and rightfully so, but it’s nice to start getting some of that.)
⁣
Things are hard now, but someday, you’ll actually miss this.
⁣
I don’t know if that applies to your situation the way it does to mine, but if it does, give yourself that reminder as much as you need to. I’ve needed it!

Camping in Big Sur

Some of you might’ve never seen a cross-cut of a persimmon before, so here ya go!

It’s been 15 months since I’ve been out of state. My travel hiatus started pre-COVID, since we were in the late stages of a complicated pregnancy last fall. Needless to say, I am so ready to head out on an adventure without borders as soon as it’s back on the table!

Lately I’ve been feeling more optimistic about next year and future adventures and being able to collect stories from places afar. And it’ll all be with a richer appreciation for the adventure.

In the meantime, I’m thankful to Big Sur for giving me one exception the past several months.

Rhys' Baptism

Another happening from earlier this month... we got to baptize the wiggliest of the boys!

Rhys’ baptism was a day after his first birthday and while he was much bigger and squirmy than we imagined he would be if this didn’t get delayed by a few months, it was just as special. And that moment where he actually goes quiet when the water hits... 😇

One of the things about my faith that I appreciate more and more over time is the collective aspect and being part of a spiritual community. I’m finding a lot of growth in moving away from more individualistic expressions and in seeking oneness across cultures and generations. And I love sacraments that remind us of that.

Stacey Abrams

I loved a post I saw by Lindsy Wallace encouraging us to look for the movement makers on our own home turf... so I had to give it some ink!
⁣
I like that Stacey Abrams herself insists that mobilizing isn’t a one person effort, and that the narrative of putting changemaking on the shoulders of one individual, no matter how incredible, isn’t sustainable.
⁣
That said, I was watching her All In documentary and found that her challenges of being underestimated or tokenized hit home. It was a lesson in playing the long game and leadership through teamwork. I couldn’t pick just one quote to illustrate!

Justice, Then Unity

Unity. We need it. But also, it’s a loaded concept sometimes, huh?
⁣
How can we seek unity in a way that doesn’t undermine justice? A concept of unity that doesn’t address damage done to people on the margins isn’t really unity at all.
⁣
I have more questions than answers at this point, but I’ve also been thinking a lot this week about the community in Colombia I had the chance to visit last year. They were torn apart by years of violent conflict, and are have since faced many of the same questions.
⁣
🇨🇴🇨🇴🇨🇴
⁣
The biggest thing I learned: You can’t have healing without justice.
⁣
That doesn’t just mean punishing the “bad guys.”

🌐
It starts with truth-telling and people owning up to the harm that they caused others. I was amazed with how open some former fighters were about the damage they know they caused. Until people are unable to acknowledge how their decisions have harmed others, it holds healing at a standstill.
🌐
It also means creating a system and conditions to prevent a return to violence and harm. I was moved by ordinary people working with the next generation to make it harder for outsiders to recruit them into war.
🌐
It’s a process, not an overnight fix. A former combatant, very eager to start a new life, admitted that forgiveness was at a point too far down the road from where he was right now. But he was taking steps towards being able to physically be around his community again.⁣
🌐
⁣Healing is possible. But it takes time. It takes truth. It takes justice. But it’s definitely possible.

Purple Map Stories

Last week, while everyone was frantically hitting refresh, I came upon a post from Latif Nasser showing how a crest of consistently blue-voting counties from Arkansas to the Carolinas lines up perfectly with the shoreline of North America during the Cretaceous Era. The links? Being underwater ➡️ fertile soil ➡️ farmlands ➡️ slavery & sharecropping ➡️ high Black populations today.
(Look this up, it’s fascinating!)
⁣
🗺
⁣
Maps tell stories, which is why I’m kinda obsessed with them and could stare at them all day. Even when they aren’t electoral maps! In fact, I’d say the red-and-blue one we’ve all been staring at isn’t the best storyteller.

If you were to grab three West Virginians, odds are, one voted for Biden. Statistically. But you probably wouldn’t expect that if you automatically see red with West Virginia. The reverse it true for a consistent blue state like Oregon. Mississippi has a wall of blue counties, roughly 4x the amount of blue counties in the state of New York.

Why does this stuff matter, beyond reminding us of the Electoral College’s shortfalls?
⁣
🔵🔴 If we do need a road that leads us away from the divisive, polarized climate right now, research shows that the binary red-and-blue map increases perceptions of polarization and political stereotyping, versus more accurate purple maps.
⁣
🔵🔴 These maps also lead to the erasure of organizers who work to mobilize voters and participants in communities in states where we have the most stereotypical views. We saw the impact of Black women in Georgia and Navajo leaders in Arizona. There are many others creating movement in Missouri, Alabama, Texas, and many other places. When their efforts are ignored by a national audience, it becomes easier for their urges to be ignored by national leaders.

🔵🔴 And ideological stereotyping allows us to paint places with a broad brush, envisioning the South as racist while ignoring the problems in our own backyard. I’m writing this from California where this happens alllll the time. Like @Chimamanda_Adichie’s TED Talk points out, there’s danger to telling a singular story.

November 2020

#306 Baptizing Rhys

01 November 2020 // San Diego, California

The past couple weeks have been a LOT, but one beautiful thing that happened was getting to have Rhys baptized on All Saints Day, the day after he turned one.

To be honest, I’ve viewed my faith pretty individualistically for most of my life. And there’s some importance to make sure the decisions nobody can make for you are coming for your true self. But, my belief is that God is relational and experienced in community.

To me, it’s beautiful to know that my faith is something that has been passed through generations, and that it has movement that will go far beyond my own lifespan. That it has expressions and elements that are foreign to my own culture.

#307 Sippy

02 November 2020 // San Diego, California

Lots of posts starting off with “no matter who wins tomorrow...”

And most of them I basically agree with.

At the same time lots of real concerns of real people are really at stake.

The waiting room of an ER is no place to be singing “Don’t Worry Be Happy.”

#308 Biden-Harris

03 November 2020 // San Diego, California

Have you listened to your neighbors? Do you know their deepest fears? Their concerns? Their dreams? Their names? Do you recognize the impact systems and structures have on these? Did you make a decision from a place of love? Have you gone beyond the mere feeling of love and moved towards the ferocity of love in public? Do you know what your next steps are after today?

Octavia Butler with the words.

#309 Late Night Waiting

04 November 2020 // San Diego, California

I don’t like to be too preachy here, but I keep seeing the same idea repeated again and again by, um, actual preachers: It doesn’t matter who wins, God is on the throne.

You can expect to hear this on queue each election, like Mariah Carey’s Christmas jams in mid November.

It’s a true statement, but also incomplete.

This shouldn’t be a phrase used to placate our concern for the poor, the vulnerable, the sick, or the oppressed- those who have the most at stake in each election. This shouldn’t lower the volume of our cries for justice.

Speaking to my Christian faith, while God is on the throne, Jesus completely rewrote the playbook on what you do with that kind of power. He got up to wash feet.

American Christianity is already too throne obsessed. The world at large can recognize all that we’ve compromised in a pursuit of power. Can a reminder of God on the throne be helpful for some of us? For sure. But a true awakening to how we find Christ among the marginalized? That’d be truly revolutionary.

#310 Evening Walker

05 November 2020 // San Diego, California

You never really get how much representation matters until it hits home, I think.

“When Kamala Harris was born, Black people weren’t allowed to vote and Asians were by and large banned from entering into the United States. Now, a Black/Asian American woman will hold the Vice Presidential seat. Regardless of your political views, this is worth celebrating.”

– Raymond Chang

#311 Sand Play

06 November 2020 // San Diego, California

I love seeing the video clips of people in New York absolutely losing it every time a USPS truck goes by.

I want us to keep up this level of appreciation for the “ordinary worker” well beyond 2020. Reroute some of our celebrity gaze, there’s plenty to spare.

#312 Biden Wins

07 November 2020 // San Diego, California

A lot can feel very complex right now.⁣

How do we build unity without sacrificing justice?

How do we dismantle the conditions that led to the last four years?

How do we hold new leaders accountable?⁣

How do we keep momentum, fight complacency, and resist accepting a “return to normal” as a substitute for a better future?

I’m learning a lot but I sure don’t have all those answers.

There’s room for all that complexity.

But there’s also clarity.

⁣You can check in with your soul and body and ask, what thoughts or feelings can I absolutely not deny right now?⁣

For me, and for so many, it’s joy. Relief. And yes, hope.

It’s immediately thinking of the next generation with bigger dreams.

⁣It’s wanting to celebrate in community, but also wanting to protect that community, so adapting to a car parade on my street.⁣

I saw Blair Imani share, “I’ve never heard of an organizing framework that says don’t celebrate.”⁣

I heard of a Dreamer friend, who went out and bought shelf organizers this week. And something so simple was so worth celebrating. A chance to unpack. A chance to dig in and plant roots and to make a home and pursue good for the land.

Let complex things be complex.⁣

Let what’s clear be clear.⁣

And like my friend Kathleen wrote yesterday: if you lead with Love, you will be on the right path

#313 Wet Green Leaves

08 November 2020 // La Mesa, California

My transition into more meatless weekdays is making me happy. Mostly because I keep discovering one solid meatless option after another. Some faves?

Shakshuka

Radishes and Polenta

Roasted Shishito Peppers

Kimchi Fried Rice

Buckwheat Soba and Tofu

Impossible Lumpia

Cucumber Sprout Sammies

Mint and Peach Naan Flatbread

What else should I add?

#314 Leafy Stomp

09 November 2020 // San Diego, California

I don’t quite understand the point of resigning from your job in protest of your boss’ evil scheme if you know your replacement would just be a yes man who doesn’t stand up to him?

Couldn’t you just start doing your job like the sloth in Zootopia instead?

#315 Impossible Lumpia

10 November 2020 // San Diego, California

This time a year ago, I wasn’t just just getting acquainted with my newborn son. I was also starting to get acquainted with a new version of myself. Dad mode.

My transition to being a dad will always be intertwined with me entering my thirties, and the dramatic way a pandemic reset our world. None of the dust has settled. But all these things have certainly made me be more intentional about what’s really important.

I hope I’ve grown in the direction of Love. I think I have. But I know it hasn’t always looked like the sweet sentimental version of Love. Especially this year, it’s often been the fiercely protective side of Love. The kind that doesn’t humor toxic behaviors or ideas. The kind that goes to bat for the vulnerable.

The stakes are higher, but at the same time, the simple moments are also elevated. I’ve gotten more joy from reading the same picture books over and over, from bath times, and from piggyback rides in the park than ever makes sense.

#316 Carseat Driver

11 November 2020 // San Diego, California

Last week, while everyone was frantically hitting refresh, I came upon a post from Latif Nasser showing how a crest of consistently blue-voting counties from Arkansas to the Carolinas lines up perfectly with the shoreline of North America during the Cretaceous Era. The links? Being underwater ➡️ fertile soil ➡️ farmlands ➡️ slavery & sharecropping ➡️ high Black populations today.

(Look this up, it’s fascinating!)

🗺

Maps tell stories, which is why I’m kinda obsessed with them and could stare at them all day. Even when they aren’t electoral maps! In fact, I’d say the red-and-blue one we’ve all been staring at isn’t the best storyteller.⁣

If you were to grab three West Virginians, odds are, one voted for Biden. Statistically. But you probably wouldn’t expect that if you automatically see red with West Virginia. The reverse it true for a consistent blue state like Oregon. Mississippi has a wall of blue counties, roughly 4x the amount of blue counties in the state of New York.⁣

🗺⁣

Why does this stuff matter, beyond reminding us of the Electoral College’s shortfalls?

🔵🔴 If we do need a road that leads us away from the divisive, polarized climate right now, research shows that the binary red-and-blue map increases perceptions of polarization and political stereotyping, versus more accurate purple maps.

🔵🔴 These maps also lead to the erasure of organizers who work to mobilize voters and participants in communities in states where we have the most stereotypical views. We saw the impact of Black women in Georgia and Navajo leaders in Arizona. There are many others creating movement in Missouri, Alabama, Texas, and many other places. When their efforts are ignored by a national audience, it becomes easier for their urges to be ignored by national leaders.

🔵🔴 And ideological stereotyping allows us to paint places with a broad brush, envisioning the South as racist while ignoring the problems in our own backyard. I’m writing this from California where this happens alllll the time. Like Chimamanda Adichie Ngozi’s TED Talk points out, there’s danger to telling a singular story.

#317 Upas Park

12 November 2020 // San Diego, California

Unity. We need it. But also, it’s a loaded concept sometimes, huh?⁣

How can we seek unity in a way that doesn’t undermine justice? A concept of unity that doesn’t address damage done to people on the margins isn’t really unity at all.⁣

I have more questions than answers at this point, but I’ve also been thinking a lot this week about the community in Colombia I had the chance to visit last year. They were torn apart by years of violent conflict, and are have since faced many of the same questions.⁣

🇨🇴🇨🇴🇨🇴⁣

The biggest thing I learned: You can’t have healing without justice.

That doesn’t just mean punishing the “bad guys.”⁣

🌐

It starts with truth-telling and people owning up to the harm that they caused others. I was amazed with how open some former fighters were about the damage they know they caused. Until people are unable to acknowledge how their decisions have harmed others, it holds healing at a standstill.

🌐⁣

It also means creating a system and conditions to prevent a return to violence and harm. I was moved by ordinary people working with the next generation to make it harder for outsiders to recruit them into war.

🌐

It’s a process, not an overnight fix. A former combatant, very eager to start a new life, admitted that forgiveness was at a point too far down the road from where he was right now. But he was taking steps towards being able to physically be around his community again.⁣

🌐⁣

Healing is possible. But it takes time. It takes truth. It takes justice. But it’s definitely possible.

#318 House of Finland

13 November 2020 // San Diego, California

You never really get how much representation matters until it hits home, I think.

Disney’s UK Christmas advert hit all the right notes for me.

Then I see the preview of Joshua de la Cruz having his Lola over for Blue’s Clues episodes, and it feels just right.

#319 Park Player

14 November 2020 // San Diego, California

I found myself missing parties and people and travel and so many things this week. Cautiously... the news about Pfizer’s vaccine this week is really good news!

And we’re just on the cusp of a really hard stretch of this pandemic. But I’ll take a light at the end of that spike-rimmed tunnel.

The “grey lining to a silver cloud” would be that they’re getting data (aka positive cases) at a much quicker rate cause cases are surging. Be careful out there!

#320 Jigueros Preserve

15 November 2020 // Fallbrook, California

I discovered the Chinese phrase 報復性熬夜, which sort of means “revenge to stay up.” This describes people who have their hands full all day that they stay up later because they treasure their freedom before bed. 

I get 3-5 hours of “free time” each night between when I put the kid down and when I go to sleep. This is definitely me. I just wanna know how to pronounce this!

#321 Roast Shishito

16 November 2020 // San Diego, California

You kind of have to go out of your way to add roast shishito to a recipe. It’s not the most common ingredient. And yet… it makes so many things better! What a versatile pepper.

Thanks for always pushing me to be a little more creative, Meatless Monday.

#322 Shakshuka

17 November 2020 // San Diego, California

I like that Stacey Abrams herself insists that mobilizing isn’t a one person effort, and that the narrative of putting changemaking on the shoulders of one individual, no matter how incredible, isn’t sustainable.

That said, I was watching her All In documentary and found that her challenges of being underestimated or tokenized hit home. It was a lesson in playing the long game and leadership through teamwork. I couldn’t pick just one quote to illustrate!

“We are strongest when we see the most vulnerable in our society, bear witness to their struggles, and then work to create systems to make it better”

“Because I learned long ago that winning doesn’t always mean you get the prize. Sometimes you get progress, and that counts.”

“I was raised to believe that my faith should never be a sword to strike down another community, it should always be a shield to protect.”

#323 Can We Travel Yet

18 November 2020 // San Diego, California

Some of you might’ve never seen a cross-cut of a persimmon before, so here ya go!

It’s been 15 months since I’ve been out of state. My travel hiatus started pre-COVID, since we were in the late stages of a complicated pregnancy last fall. Needless to say, I am so ready to head out on an adventure without borders as soon as it’s back on the table!

Lately I’ve been feeling more optimistic about next year and future adventures and being able to collect stories from places afar. And it’ll all be with a richer appreciation for the adventure.

#324 Bienestar

19 November 2020 // San Diego, California

I learned about a seminary professor from Casper ter Kuile who requires students to learn the names of 10 species of plants and animals in their neighborhood. After all, they are part of getting to know one's "congregation.”

My congregation includes parrots, skunks, jacarandas, snapdragons, and a whole lotta alley cats.

#325 T Gwynn

20 November 2020 // San Diego, California

Some favorite things from my Big Sur trip:

🗺 The Hwy 1 drive is a highlight in and of itself, and there are a few trails partway to stop at if you wanna interrupt the drive with a hike

🗺 Walking the Garrapatta Trail was super easy with a kid strapped to my back, and such a photogenic trek

🗺 Big Sur Creek runs through a lot of the main camp areas and has plenty of secluded points. Perfect for Rhys and I to splash around in.

🗺 Carmel and Monterey have a lot of good spots to eat. We didn’t really get to do much there, but at least we know where to look!

🗺 This place is a photographer’s playground, but while it’s easy to take a good photo… it’s a bit more challenging to take an original one. But, creativity loves a challenge like that!

Unfortunately it’s not the most dog friendly place, which is why there are some key highlights missing from here. We’ll have to get a sitter next time. Speaking of next time, what else can’t I miss?

#326 Autumnal

21 November 2020 // San Diego, California

It makes sense that this is part of getting older, but it feels like each month that goes by makes me less and less interested in trying to please everybody and making approval the goal.

Simultaneously, I become more and more convinced that by being transparent and honest, I’m being kind. Even when the truth isn’t an immediate crowd pleaser. If nothing else, I owe people my clarity.

#327 Frazier Park

22 November 2020 // Frazier Park, California

I’m an oversubscriber. I definitely have the habit of seeing a few too many podcasts, YouTube channels, etc. that look appealing. And we all know where that ends up. A whole bunch of unheard episodes that I never end up getting to blocking out things I genuinely want to watch.

This week, I took the time to pare down some of my YouTube subscriptions, and to clear out a lot of my podcast backlog. And that was so helpful. I’m actually excited about what’s left and eager to learn and get inspired.

Curating is always better than collecting.

#328 Good Morning Park

23 November 2020 // Bakersfield, California

Moment of honesty here, the past two months have been hard.

Because of some pretty complicated issues going on in my family, our childcare situation fell through. Because we’re in the middle of a pandemic, we don’t really have any other options but juggling Rhys while doing our jobs from home. It’s a LOT.⁣

I wake up basically as early as possible to do as much work as possible before Deanna starts working. Then around 10, I’m with Rhys all day, only getting stuff done during naps. He’s also a carbon copy of my energy level, a very early walker, and not the biggest napper, so those hours are a handful. I’ve taken so many meetings with a wild rumpus going on just off camera as I carefully DJ that mute button.

Here’s what’s kept me going (other than not really having a choice)– I know I’m doing the right thing, and I know someday I’ll miss this.

Even though days feel pretty long, I can still feel pretty good knowing that I’ve made my family the priority, been firm with boundaries, and left nothing undone to take care of them. It’s the sort of thing that you don’t regret.

⁣And it’s come with the huge perk of getting to spend so much time with Rhys during this pretty dynamic time in his development. We go on near-daily adventures to parks so he can explore, and Rhys has become much more of a daddy stan lately! (Moms really have the early advantage, and rightfully so, but it’s nice to start getting some of that.)

Things are hard now, but someday, you’ll actually miss this.⁣

I don’t know if that applies to your situation the way it does to mine, but if it does, give yourself that reminder as much as you need to. I’ve needed it!

#329 Follow Me

24 November 2020 // Bakersfield, California

When you wanna be a travel influencer but spend all your days with a one year old and the only place you go is the dining room.

Can’t wait for the world to reopen again.

#330 jANET rETURNS

25 November 2020 // Bakersfield, California

Here are three books that have been getting quite a bit of hype over the past year... deservedly so in my opinion!

Most of my reading this year has been towards the heavier side of nonfiction, but sometimes the truth is best told in a story. Here are #somebooknotes

📙 Where The Crawdads Sing was great as a genre defying, expectation juking tome. Characters were richly developed, and I loved the love the novel had for its setting and its ecology in particular.

📘 Such a Fun Age was really effective at showing how good intentions don’t always have good impact.

📗 The Vanishing Half was a strong second novel for Brit Bennett, and introduced the topics of colorist, identity, and generational trauma through a family epic.

#331 kERN rIVER

26 November 2020 // Sequoia National Forest, California

What I’m thankful for feels kind of obvious: my family and the way this wild time has strengthened our ties. We’ve been safe and healthy. We have jobs we find meaningful, and we’ve grown so much in terms of finding our voice, setting boundaries, and being emotionally honest. It hasn’t been easy, but we have it good.

That said... here’s a quick list of some less predictable stuff I’m also thankful for this year.

🔸 My green micropuff jacket in heavy rotation these days.

🔸 Buying an oversized tent four years ago and reaping the rewards now with a kid.

🔸 Dancing to KOKOKO with Rhys

🔸 MLB The Show.

🔸 Hummingbirds.

🔸 Over The Moon.

🔸 Ramy, season two.

🔸 Healthy enneagram 8s.

🔸 These accounts: @blackliturgies + @blackcoffeewithwhitefriends + @mspackyetti

🔸 Trader Joe’s Greek Yogurt Oatmeal Cookies.

🔸 The “We have _____ at home” dad meme.

#332 wEIRD yEAR thANKSGIVING

27 November 2020 // Bakersfield, California

Processing in real time the challenges of this year, the truth of all I have to be thankful for, and the indigenous pain associated with today.

I do think the most honest expression of gratitude leaves room for grief. Both remind us of our place in a much bigger story.

#333 cRUNCHY lEAF pARK

28 November 2020 // San Juan Capistrano, California

This is usually one of my favorite times of the year. All the gaps in the usual hustle give me a chance to catch up on some of my favorite makers’ creative work, and I tend to end up really inspired for things I want to make.

This year is sort of like that, but a couple things are different.

1) I’m really hungry for creative adventures. I’ve missed being able to launch out into the world, gather stories, and tell them creatively. It looks more and more like that’ll be back on the table in 2021, and there’s a lot of bottled up creative energy going on.

2) I’m less interested in simply doing things, this time around, but truly enjoying the process. I want my creative outlets to feel more and more like a playground. I think that time is coming.

#334 Hate is a Virus

29 November 2020 // San Diego, California

I haven’t watched this show in like 20 years (unless you wanna count Slumdog) but Dave Chang’s win makes me happier than makes sense.

#335 bIRD pARK gROVE

30 November 2020 // San Diego, California

I read a thread online about what people would be doing by 6pm if the pandemic were to just suddenly end around 3.

Just a hunch, but I don’t think the pandemic’s going anywhere by 3-6 pm.

But the responses… hopping on planes, partying with octogenarians, even licking Times Square.

On the flip side I do think we’ll see something to be hopeful about in 3-6 months, so I am saving these replies so I can really savor doing those things then.

(Most of them. No licking Times Square for me)

Election Reflections

A lot can feel very complex right now.
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How do we build unity without sacrificing justice?
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How do we dismantle the conditions that led to the last four years?
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How do we hold new leaders accountable?
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How do we keep momentum, fight complacency, and resist accepting a “return to normal” as a substitute for a better future?
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I’m learning a lot but I sure don’t have all those answers.

There’s room for all that complexity.
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But there’s also clarity.
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You can check in with your soul and body and ask, what thoughts or feelings can I absolutely not deny right now?
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For me, and for so many, it’s joy. Relief. And yes, hope.
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It’s immediately thinking of the next generation with bigger dreams.
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It’s wanting to celebrate in community, but also wanting to protect that community, so adapting to a car parade on my street.

I saw Blair Imani share, “I’ve never heard of an organizing framework that says don’t celebrate.”
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I heard of a Dreamer friend, who went out and bought shelf organizers this week. And something so simple was so worth celebrating. A chance to unpack. A chance to dig in and plant roots and to make a home and pursue good for the land.
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Let complex things be complex.
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Let what’s clear be clear.
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And like my friend Kathleen wrote yesterday: if you lead with Love, you will be on the right path

Not Just the Throne

I don’t like to be too preachy here, but I keep seeing the same idea repeated again and again by, um, actual preachers: It doesn’t matter who wins, God is on the throne.

You can expect to hear this on queue each election, like Mariah Carey’s Christmas jams in mid November.

It’s a true statement, but also incomplete.

This shouldn’t be a phrase used to placate our concern for the poor, the vulnerable, the sick, or the oppressed- those who have the most at stake in each election. This shouldn’t lower the volume of our cries for justice.

Speaking to my Christian faith, while God is on the throne, Jesus completely rewrote the playbook on what you do with that kind of power. He got up to wash feet.

American Christianity is already too throne obsessed. The world at large can recognize all that we’ve compromised in a pursuit of power. Can a reminder of God on the throne be helpful for some of us? For sure. But a true awakening to how we find Christ among the marginalized? That’d be truly revolutionary.

Choose Your Leaders

Have you listened to your neighbors? Do you know their deepest fears? Their concerns? Their dreams? Their names? Do you recognize the impact systems and structures have on these? Did you make a decision from a place of love? Have you gone beyond the mere feeling of love and moved towards the ferocity of love in public? Do you know what your next steps are after today?
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Octavia Butler with the words.

A Year in Dad Mode

This time a year ago, I wasn’t just just getting acquainted with my newborn son. I was also starting to get acquainted with a new version of myself. Dad mode.

My transition to being a dad will always be intertwined with me entering my thirties, and the dramatic way a pandemic reset our world. None of the dust has settled. But all these things have certainly made me be more intentional about what’s really important.

I hope I’ve grown in the direction of Love. I think I have. But I know it hasn’t always looked like the sweet sentimental version of Love. Especially this year, it’s often been the fiercely protective side of Love. The kind that doesn’t humor toxic behaviors or ideas. The kind that goes to bat for the vulnerable.

The stakes are higher, but at the same time, the simple moments are also elevated. I’ve gotten more joy from reading the same picture books over and over, from bath times, and from piggyback rides in the park than ever makes sense.