Midpoint 2021

Next week brings the exact midpoint of 2021. It’s a time of feeling halfway through a year who’s whole theme seems to be halfway through.

We’ve got one foot in hardship and one in hope. I know I’ll look back at this year- and probably this whole stretch of my life- as a plate full of contrasting flavors. Lots of undeniably beautiful things right alongside atrocity. A constant teetering between saying ‘I can’t believe we’re still doing this’ and ‘I can’t believe it’s already…’

Right when I remembered it was the half-way point, my natural instincts were to think “whoa- half a year already. What have I even done?” I thought that right away, even though it really doesn’t make sense at all.

This year, I’ve unlocked new opportunities to do what I love in the realm of climate communications and promoting environmental solutions. I’ve spent unforgettable quality moments with Rhys at an extremely fun age. I’m proud of my art. I’m proud of the videos I’ve been making, meeting my own aspiration of releasing two a month and trying out different approaches to storytelling. I’ve even managed to go a few places, pandemic be damned.

I’ve been up to a lot, and even if I weren’t, that would still be fine. This reflex points towards something I’m still trying to unlearn. But hey. It’s all about the process.

Fatherhooding

What can I say, I always wanted to be a dad and it’s everything I could’ve ever dreamed up. Getting to explore the world alongside Rhys makes everything feels like it’s right where it should be.

Father’s Day can be so complicated for so many, and I wish it weren’t like that but I know that it is because that’s how it was for me for the majority of my life.

But today was so uncomplicated. And good. I got to be a dad, we got to see a camel for the first time, and I got to read him a new book.

Feeling grateful that this is something possible in life… something complicated can in time become something simple and good.

Love you Rhys! Like you hear me say every day, I love getting to be your dad.

PNW Roadtrip, Pt. 2

Camera happy in the Pacific Northwest. A little more highlight reel from last month’s adventure.

Pulling over somewhere in the Olympic Peninsula for a photo opp because the whole thing looks like this.

A lunch break in the underappreciated Quilcenes State Park.

A full on waterfall on the side of Seattle’s REI.

Rhys digging nature. Kinda literally.

@pipsoriginal run in the morning with Rhys.

Kinokinuya- I think this is the largest Japanese/East Asian bookstore in the U.S., right on the side of the Uwajimaya Village in Seattle’s International District.

Rhys outside the fifthwheel where we spent a trio of nights in Sequim.

A walk through the Heart of the Hills Campground… this was an incredible campground that I might have to come back to sometime to spend some nights.

Trees everywhere.

Rhys outside the tiny home we stayed at in Medford for scale.

The Hall of Mosses

All this moss!!

“The mutuality of moss and water. Isn’t this the way we love, the way love propels our unfolding? We are shaped by our affinity for love, expanded by its presence and shrunken by its lack.”

–Robin Wall Kimmerer

Some of you may already know this, but I think moss is wonderful- ecologically and visually!

So I went to the place that should be at the top of any moss lover’s list… the Hoh Rainforest on Washington’s Olympic Peninsula.

The place is on Hoh tribal land and within Olympic National Park. You’ll find tree species from red cedars to bigleaf maples to sitka spruce… but they’re all seemingly upstaged by their fur coats.

I absolutely loved the walk through the Hall of Mosses and couldn’t slow down enough to take this all in. Most incredible place I’ve been in a long time!

Nine Years, Huh?

Nine years already, huh?

Deanna and I didn’t start dating until we’d been close friends for three years. It was the classic storyline you’d see on a TV series, where you can tell the writers were ramping up to it for a few seasons.

Actually, there were many reasons the start of our dating felt scripted, down to me asking her out not knowing it was just days before the deadline she told herself she’d move on if I didn’t make a move... the deadline was literally crossing the finish line at a marathon and this was all a couple weeks before we graduated.

Back then, I would’ve said it was like a movie. And all that was before the globetrotting, the hospitalization, the miracle baby, the medical breakthroughs, and survival moves. At this point we’ve probably hit cinematic universe status.

So glad I beat that finish line.

Love you so much Deanna - life keeps our hands full these days but it’s still even better than anything I could’ve imagined in 2012.

June 2021

#152 First Day of Daycare

01 June 2021 // San Diego, California

Kind of a big week for us...

Rhys started daycare this week!

It kind of marks the end of a year-plus of working from home while juggling baby chasing, getting an absurd amount of things done during nap times and early in the morning to make up for the rest of the day, and random midweek dad dates of scouting out the best playgrounds or walking spots.

The whole time we knew that wasn’t sustainable but if soldiers bond in trenches, so can new dads and one year olds. I knew while it was happening that the day would come that I look back at it nostalgically. Thursday afternoon playground visits. Bluey episodes to buy me time to send emails. Just watching him grow up!

I’m proud of us, for doing what it takes to pull off this past year and putting our family first. And I love this guy so, so much. Not even in the way that I’m “supposed to” being his dad and all. I just straight up think Rhys is great. I love all this personality that’s emerging, the strength of will, and the adaptable spirit.

You’re gonna light up that 6 months to two years caterpillar room!

#153 Ethiopia Office Book

02 June 2021 // San Diego, California

Remembering is resistance.

I liked Colson Whitehead’s book The Underground Railroad. I saw it was being adapted for a series by Barry Jenkins, and was intrigued. I haven’t seen it yet, but it sparked a conversation around how to depict traumatic events throughout history.

To be honest, there’s a real tension between wanting to commemorate these events with a never-forget kind of energy, and the reality that the communities who’ve been hit by them directly don’t need to be retraumatized over and over.

Then two things happened in the past week that added further layers to that discussion.

The 100-year-anniversary of the Tulsa Massacre on Black Wall Street. The outright destruction of a thriving Black district because of white supremacy. It’s an event that only started receiving a spike of media attention in the past 2-3 years. Three survivors- Mother Randle, Viola Fletcher, and Hughes Van Ellis made recent appearances in a commemorative event, a reminder of the lives upended that never received justice.

Then there was the discovery of the remains of 215 children at a residential school in Kamloops British Columbia. Residential Schools were a practice by Catholic and Protestant churches in Canada, and the Canadian government where children were removed from their families and sent to ‘boarding schools’ intended to separate them from their cultural identity. Over 90% experienced some form of abuse and the schools had a 40-60% mortality rate. This was not long ago.

Honestly I don’t think there can be a totally “right” response to events so far removed from any notion of the way things should be. Concerns over the consumption of shared trauma are valid. But I have learned two things lately:

Nothing heals that isn’t grieved.

Rememberance can be resistance in a world that would rather have you forget and move on.

#154 Shallot Noodle

03 June 2021 // San Diego, California

Stories are important no matter our age but...

...the first stories we encounter will shape us for good in ways we’ll never totally understand.

Two of my biggest values include the following:

Looking at the ordinary, the mundane, the small, and seeing an entire world of wonder and possibility.

Making room for the people who often don’t see themselves represented in certain spaces, inviting others to the table.

This year, we said goodbye to two remarkable children’s authors who embodied these two things well and did so for a long, long time. Beverly Cleary wrote books for the ones who didn’t fit in, the slightly different, the neurodiverse. Eric Carle- and I love the full quote in this drawing- wrote so that others could see the bigger world beyond the one most people take for granted.

#155 Craft Highball

04 June 2021 // San Diego, California

“Do not try to satisfy your vanity by teaching a great many things. Awaken people’s curiosity. It is enough to open minds, do not overload them. Put there just a spark. If there is some flammable stuff, it will catch fire.”

–Anatole France

This quote challenges and confronts me, and I love it for that.

Right now, most of my creative opportunities are blended with opportunities to educate people. To enlighten and hopefully rally people towards a cause. To prioritize justice and realign life around it.

With all that said, it’s an easy temptation to make my work entirely pedagogical- to make it all about teaching. It’s always easier to script a lesson plan rather than a storyboard.

But the more I work on stories rather than seminars, the better my work is. Whenever I take the extra effort to make sure I’m not just connecting linear facts, but also playing the instrument of people’s imagination, the work shines for itself.

It usually takes more effort. It takes writing a whole script then going back and asking about how it leaves a blank for the viewer to fill in themselves. It takes doing more than drawing a picture, but hopefully a picture that unlocks new vision. 

#156 Unit 7

05 June 2021 // San Diego, California

Today launches the United Nations Decade of Ecosystem Restoration!

I used to gloss over events like these, under the impression that they were more ambitious than strategic, and not very enforceable.

Working in the world of international development, the environment, etc. has totally changed that opinion…

These initiatives help create common language, goals, and opportunities for NGOs, partner organizations, governments, and funders. Giving each of these stakeholders a shared framework leads to effective partnerships and knowledge sharing.

I'm also quite fond of this framework.

The focus on ecosystem restoration feels far more holistic than focusing on a single problem- as important as topics like climate or biodiversity are. Also... I love that it's not playing defense. It's not just about stopping destruction, but restoring eco-health.

#157 Oak Shade

06 June 2021 // San Diego, California

Beignet’s an Oregon gal.

It’s a great place to be a dog. All the weekend outings we used to take together up buttes and around waterfalls. Her life these days is just a bit too urban.

Ever since we moved to San Diego four years ago, I’ve been intent on bringing Beignet back to her old stomping grounds. I’ve wanted to lead her around some of her old favorite trails and parks around Eugene to see how much of it was familiar.

On our Northwest roadtrip, we took her back to her old favorite dog park. At four years older than she was the last time she was here, she’s no longer the fastest one, but it was so good to be back.

#158 Sick Rhys

07 June 2021 // San Diego, California

We’ve made it to a year and a half without Rhys getting sick, but that streak ended this week.

It’s no fun having a sick kid. It’d be so much easier to be the one who’s sick. I don’t just mean that in the noble, mushy way of wishing I could take it from him, although that’s true. But also, selfishly, it’s so much easier to take care of myself than a eighteen month old who has no context for feeling miserable.

He hasn’t had much exposure to other kids and is now suddenly getting it. I’m not surprised by this, really, and while I don’t think our lives will have such a thing as a “convenient time” to get sick ever again, I guess it could be worse. I’m not out of the country. We’re not travelling. We’re not mid-move.

It looks like we’ve started to turn a corner with the fever gone and more of his energy reemerging. Let’s hope we’re back to 100% fast.

#159 Planting Sweetgrass

08 June 2021 // San Diego, California

Nine years already, huh?

Deanna and I didn’t start dating until we’d been close friends for three years. It was the classic storyline you’d see on a TV series, where you can tell the writers were ramping up to it for a few seasons.

Actually, there were many reasons the start of our dating felt scripted, down to me asking her out not knowing it was just days before the deadline she told herself she’d move on if I didn’t make a move... the deadline was literally crossing the finish line at a marathon and this was all a couple weeks before we graduated.

Back then, I would’ve said it was like a movie. And all that was before the globetrotting, the hospitalization, the miracle baby, the medical breakthroughs, and survival moves. At this point we’ve probably hit cinematic universe status.

So glad I beat that finish line.

Love you so much Deanna - life keeps our hands full these days but it’s still even better than anything I could’ve imagined in 2012.

#160 Media Training

09 June 2021 // San Diego, California

"Maybe that's enlightenment enough: to know that there is no final resting place of the mind, no moment of smug clarity. Perhaps wisdom ... is realizing how small I am, and unwise, and how far I have yet to go."

–Anthony Bourdain

I am 100% ready for Morgan Neville’s film on his life. A whole lot of Fred Rogers’ complexity was just beneath his outward gentleness, and he did a great job with that. I think in a very different way there was more to love about Bourdain than the apparent.

#161 ENTER THE Jolibee

10 June 2021 // San Diego, California

I’ve been playing this minimalist version of fantasy baseball where I just have to pick a player I think will get a hit that night.

I’m amazingly terrible at this- somehow I keep managing to pick great players having bad days.

Fernando Tatis Jr., Shohei Ohtani, Ronald Acuña Jr., Will Smith, and Nolan Arenado all managed to have totally hitless days for me.

#162 Teralta Stroll

11 June 2021 // San Diego, California

It’ll always be funny to me how much of building a platform and a voice revolves around luck and opportune timing. By this point, I’ve been working on building brands, thought leaders, and making media content perpetually for a decade, and I think I have a generally strong sense for all the best practices and big ideas out there.

But of 4100 posts to Instagram so far, it was one that brought in 5,000 of my 5,500 followers. And nearly every YouTube subscriber can be traced to my one video on Raya and the Last Dragon.

Showing up and continuing to make the work is important, because none of those windfalls happen without showing up to each of those 4100 posts. But also, timing seems to make the biggest difference- over content and quality and anything else. Popularity isn’t to be taken too seriously as a stand in for quality.

#163 House Hunt Scramble

12 June 2021 // San Diego, California

“The mutuality of moss and water. Isn’t this the way we love, the way love propels our unfolding? We are shaped by our affinity for love, expanded by its presence and shrunken by its lack.”

–Robin Wall Kimmerer

Some of you may already know this, but I think moss is wonderful- ecologically and visually!

So I went to the place that should be at the top of any moss lover’s list… the Hoh Rainforest on Washington’s Olympic Peninsula.

The place is on Hoh tribal land and within Olympic National Park. You’ll find tree species from red cedars to bigleaf maples to sitka spruce… but they’re all seemingly upstaged by their fur coats.

I absolutely loved the walk through the Hall of Mosses and couldn’t slow down enough to take this all in. Most incredible place I’ve been in a long time!

#164 Piecer’s Beach Day

13 June 2021 // San Diego, California

In very recent events, a surge in public awareness has been met by the censorship of education. A historic Black voter turnout has been met by voter suppression.

This can be discouraging- feeling like it’s ten steps forward, nine back. But with history as an indicator, it’s a sign that things are dynamic. The status quo has been challenged.

In one of his recent newsletters, Andre Henry shared that “The current hysteria in the U.S. about the growing influence of anti-racist ideas in the white world is a good sign in the struggle for racial progress. It suggests that last year’s uprisings for Black lives successfully knocked America’s white supremacist sensibilities off balance.”

It just isn’t the time to get complacent, but quite the opposite. While these institutions are off-balance, do not let them regain footing.

The question isn’t whether or not we’ll change the world in our lifetime, our world constantly changes and our very existence influences that. The bigger question is how will it change. How will we contribute?

#165 Pocket Play

14 June 2021 // San Diego, California

Two years ago I joined a group of high school students during their Climate Strike and school walkout.

🌎🌍🌏

It wasn’t the “main” one in town. Just the one closest to me. Still there were a lot of kids. And adults. I had the sense that this would be the start of something.

At the time, not everyone was convinced. There were adults along their route telling them they were being controlled by the media. There were supporters who had a hard time seeing it as another thing that would simply get lost in the stubborn persistence of the status quo.

Hearing one 16 year old after another, however, speak about what mattered to them confirmed my suspicion that this really was a turning point. At 16, I hardly ever thought about the environment, let alone how it was connected to refugees from the Pacific, marginalized urban communities, or disproportionate challenges faced by women and girls.

🗞📰🗞

Last week, we saw a string of headlines. On the same day, Stakeholders at Exxon and Chevron demanded a climate-responsive board and emissions cuts. The Netherlands tightened the deadline for Shell to cut emissions in half. And a week later the Keystone Pipeline was cancelled.

Half these headlines came from direct investors and the other half from popularly elected officials. I don’t think that those moves happen without the groundswell of pressure that had been building since 2019.

It’s easy to think of the status quo as stuck and to be frustrated when protests go seemingly nowhere. But pressure plus strategy can create change. Discouragement is common but don’t let it create another obstacle for yourself.

#166 Cafeina Comeback

15 June 2021 // San Diego, California

As we start looking -pretty actively- for our next home, I’m hopeful we can get in there soon as possible. Among the many, many problems I’m hoping a new space takes care of:

• Space for Rhys to run around

• Air conditioning, not to mention a place that doesn’t relentlessly trap heat

• Being able to have my mom more quickly accessible

• Having a more designated workspace that isn’t so easily interruptible

• Space to put these large boxes that accumulate in the living room too quickly

• Something equivalent to Rhys’ rice box but one that can live outside or in a garage

• A backyard for Rhys and Beignet

• A refrigerator that doesn’t break down so often for one reason or another… and that hopefully has more space

• A neighborhood that doesn’t set the fireworks off and make Beignet hide in the worst places

• Being able to just open a door to let Beignet out, without her protesting

#167 Goodmoments Meetup

16 June 2021 // National City, California

I heard a really good podcast conversation where a dad noted the three things he hoped to develop in his kids were resilience, presence, and empathy. At first, those three things sounded nice, if not somewhat randomly assembled, but the longer I sat with that the more I really liked this combination.

Each of these traits, fully realized, could turn into practical superpowers.

Somebody who is fiercely resilient can recover quickly or consistently from all the surprising and unpredictable parts of life that strike inevitably.

Somebody who is radically present will get a lot out of life, to put it simply. But they’ll also give a lot to others. So many people go unseen, or feel simply rushed from one person’s agenda to the next. Radical presence changes this.

Empathy and somebody who can truly understand what others are going through and every hope, dream, and insecurity, can offer something few can.

These are incredible traits that I hope to develop in both myself and my own family.

#168 Reopening Week

17 June 2021 // San Diego, California

There's one person in particular who has done the most as far as getting recognition for Juneteenth as a public holiday- Opal Lee, a 94 year old woman who walked from Fort Worth to D.C. in 2016 to collect signatures to instate the holiday. She also happens to be quite passionate about climate change.

 From her conversation with Brittany Packnett Cunningham:

"I really believe that we should be able to work together to dispel the disparities that exist now, and I’m talking about homelessness. Everybody needs a decent place to stay. Joblessness, and even if you got a job and I’m paid one thing and you paid another, that’s not cool. Healthcare, I can get treatment and you can’t. Climate change, I’m adamant about climate change. The scientists have told us that we are committing the worst things on our Earth and I truly believe if we don’t do something about it, that we’re all going to be annihilated, but we can work together as opposed to what is happening now. I firmly believe that, and I believe Juneteenth is the catalyst to make that come true."

#169 Marlborough Corners

18 June 2021 // San Diego, California

We've been stuck at home in a pandemic for months and NOW is the time they decide to release a final season of Kims Convenience, Lupin s2, Ted Lasso s2, Luca, High on the Hog, Loki…

...I went with Luca tonight and that flick was dec-a-dent! *chef’s kiss*

“There will always be those who do not accept him. But there will be those who do. And he always manages to find the good ones.”

I get excited thinking about how this film could find its way to some kids out there who really need to hear that, while going right over the heads of those who stand in the way.

#170 Black Mountain Open Space

19 June 2021 // San Diego, California 

Juneteenth! Creating culture, in part, happens through what you celebrate.

#Juneteenth is a celebration. Not a finish line, but a celebration.

“The slow work of emancipation is a daily project.”

–Kimberly Drew

#171 Fathers Day at the Zoo

20 June 2021 // San Diego, California 

What can I say, I always wanted to be a dad and it’s everything I could’ve ever dreamed up. Getting to explore the world alongside Rhys makes everything feels like it’s right where it should be.

Father’s Day can be so complicated for so many, and I wish it weren’t like that but I know that it is because that’s how it was for me for the majority of my life.

But today was so uncomplicated. And good. I got to be a dad, we got to see a camel for the first time, and I got to read him a new book.

Feeling grateful that this is something possible in life… something complicated can in time become something simple and good.

Love you Rhys! Like you hear me say every day, I love getting to be your dad.

#172 Teralta Tree

21 June 2021 // San Diego, California 

When you’re an athlete, wins and losses matter. If somebody says they don’t, you don’t really want that person on your team.

At the same time, you want to be with mental competitors who know how to compartmentalism the scoreboard. Who don’t get so high off their own successes that they get sloppy, or so low off their mistakes that they just start flailing.

You want someone who can be wholly in the moment, who can make their approach to the game all about preparation, instinct, and having a winning process.

I think being a changemaker isn’t so different.

When it comes to creating social change, very few things are outright wins and losses. The best and worst of moments set all kinds of reactions into motion. 

What’s important is to make fighting for justice an instinct. Of course you play to win, but you’ve got to do so in a way where even if it doesn’t happen right away you set yourself up to win the long game. And you do that by having the reflexes to stand up against what isn’t right, time and time again.

#173 Great New Kids Books

22 June 2021 // San Diego, California 

One of the traits I’ve come to admire the most is simple sincerity.

I love folks who have greater access to their heart, who aren’t afraid to keep a throughline between what’s inside and how they navigate the world. I love it when people are free from having to hide behind the walls of projecting an image or following rules that should’ve never been written in the first place.

I think I tend to craft the things I say very carefully. I don’t think that’s a bad thing, because it’s part of what I do. I’m a strategic communicator and I think that strategic part is important. But people who can share more of their inner worlds safely, off the fly, have a level of comfort, presence, and integration I like a lot.

#174 Mission Bay Sidewalk

23 June 2021 // San Diego, California 

I’m finishing up a biography on Roy Halladay and so many things are standing out to me about the complex life of the most dominating pitcher I’ve seen.

His mental game was both his strength, but in some ways an Achilles heel too. There are so many ways Roy embodied the extremes of an Enneagram 3- driven to excel, sensitive to outward appearances.

The thing that probably struck me the most were the struggles with painkillers- which is not at all how I’d want one of my favorite pitchers ever to be remembered, but it was a very good reminder that addiction isn’t just a challenge that faces disheveled and psychotic people we see around the street corners. Often it can sneak up on a person, triggered by a freak injury, within a year or two of throwing a perfect game and rescuing someone from drowning in the Amazon. Not that the folks on the street don’t need more empathy, too. But it’s a reminder of how prevalent and sneaky of a threat addiction can be.

#175 The Slider

24 June 2021 // San Diego, California 

Some of the most exciting creative stuff happens in kids’ books. At their best- they speak to both current kids and everyone’s inner child.

The past month or two have been incredible in terms of newly released kids books. One right after the other.

The Circles All Around Us by Brad and Kristi Montague is a beautiful book about making the whole world your community. Pro-tip: Check out some of the recent videos Brad has been putting out to go alongside the message of this book!

What Is God Like by Rachel Held Evans & Matthew Paul Turner is an absolutely beautiful book. You can read each page or look at each of Ying Hui Tan’s illustrations and see something true and beautiful- then look again and see deeper layers of meaning and art. I love that it invites wonder and curiosity and reverence into some of those early God conversations, rather than oversimplified dogmatic takeaways.

And while it has a totally different tone but I absolutely love reading A Pizza With Everything On It by Kyle Scheele & Andy J. Pizza to Rhys in the most over the top voices. It’s an absurdist father-and-son book and that’s totally my jam.

When’s the last time a kids’ book stopped you in your tracks?

#176 Cafeina Patio

25 June 2021 // San Diego, California 

At the beginning of this year, one of my goals was to abandon my to-do list. To literally approach each day with more of an attitude that says “let’s see what happens” rather than “this must get done.”

I figured this would be a good step towards being more invested in the process rather than production.

I think that served me well. I’m so glad I did it.

Recently, though, with all the competing demands for my attention, I’ve basically found it necessary to start back up again. Maybe not so much to-do lists but schedules that block out my time. Mainly so I don’t miss meetings or accidentally book overlapping things.

I think the mindset I got used to during those times without a list prepared me better for this time that I need a more defined calendar. Plus I’m aiming to use this calendar as a tool that helps me be present rather than one that hinders it.

When I have a task at hand, I’ll try to be as present for that task as humanly possible, enjoying it, playing with it.

I think that’ll end up being the best way.

#177 Cousins at the Beach

26 June 2021 // San Diego, California 

Next week brings the exact midpoint of 2021. It’s a time of feeling halfway through a year who’s whole theme seems to be halfway through.

We’ve got one foot in hardship and one in hope. I know I’ll look back at this year- and probably this whole stretch of my life- as a plate full of contrasting flavors. Lots of undeniably beautiful things right alongside atrocity. A constant teetering between saying ‘I can’t believe we’re still doing this’ and ‘I can’t believe it’s already…’

Right when I remembered it was the half-way point, my natural instincts were to think “whoa- half a year already. What have I even done?” I thought that right away, even though it really doesn’t make sense at all.

This year, I’ve unlocked new opportunities to do what I love in the realm of climate communications and promoting environmental solutions. I’ve spent unforgettable quality moments with Rhys at an extremely fun age. I’m proud of my art. I’m proud of the videos I’ve been making, meeting my own aspiration of releasing two a month and trying out different approaches to storytelling. I’ve even managed to go a few places, pandemic be damned.

I’ve been up to a lot, and even if I weren’t, that would still be fine. This reflex points towards something I’m still trying to unlearn. But hey. It’s all about the process.

#178 Sixth Anniversary

27 June 2021 // Del Mar, California 

“A happy family is but an earlier heaven.”

– George Bernard Shaw

2015: We got married!

2016: We survived a scary hospitalization and took home a Beignet.

2017: Moved to San Diego, worked on our dreams.

2018: A challenging year of trying, waiting, hoping, praying to become parents.

2019: Rhys entered our lives.

2020: We put family first, looked out for each other, and stayed safe amidst a global pandemic and other chaotic events.

2021: The adventure continues!

Eventually we’ll be at a point where these recaps don’t fit, and already these condensed bullets don’t do the whole story justice.

But the point is- these past six years have been a bigger adventure than I would’ve ever predicted… and we made adventure the theme of our wedding so we anticipated a fair amount of it!

There’s no one else I would’ve loved doing all this with. Deanna- I love being married to you, going places with you, parenting with you, and all the little bits and pieces that make up our life together. You’re a phenomenal mom, a dedicated fighter for people, and my best friend.

#179 TJ Airport

28 June 2021 // Tijuana, Mexico 

The Tijuana Airport… what a sight for sore eyes!

It’s a special moment in history where we get to be sentimental over airport terminal food.

Also… of all restaurants for the Tijuana airport to have in the most prominent spot, we’ve got a Johnny Rockets. Go figure.

#180 Esperanza’s Tree

29 June 2021 // Oaxaca, Mexico 

You will travel again.

You will set foot on soils with microorganisms unlike any you’ve ever encountered. You’ll sit in front of a menu full of the unfamiliar. You’ll take in all the sounds and smells of a village, feeling alive and not taking it for granted.

I’m thinking of all the times I told myself this over the past year, and now… it’s happening! Out of the country! By plane!

Traveling fills my bucket, so I never expected to see the point where I’d have to spend two whole years with very minimal travel. But I’m fortunate and privileged. To have traveled so much already, and to be traveling again.

This time, it’s a new place for me… Oaxaca. I’ve never been to this part of Mexico before. It has rich indigenous traditions, colorful craftsmanship, some of the country’s highest poverty rates, and an incredible local cuisine.

I’ll be going to work on multiple video projects that capture the stories of farming families in rural Oaxaca. So many of their stories sit at the intersection of climate change, migration, and indigenous rights. I can’t wait to discover what I discover.

The world at large is at very different places when it comes to the pandemic and travel, and I want to move mindfully of that. But I’m undeniably happy to be reconnected with this thing I do that brings me a lot of joy.

#181 Tree Planting

30 June 2021 // Oaxaca, Mexico 

As climate change wreaks even more havoc this summer, I keep thinking about the importance of climate resilience–and not just in terms of people’s ability to physically survive. Climate resilience also includes mental, emotional, and psychological resilience to the changes and the work ahead.

The reality is, even if we were to exceed anybody’s most optimistic expectations and bring our greenhouse gas emissions down to a pre-industrial level next week, we’d still have several years of heatwaves, tropical storms, wildfires, and droughts.

I’ve spent this week around smallholder farmers solving environmental issues in Mexico. I spend most of my weeks around people working tirelessly towards climate solutions. Know what I keep seeing? People are saddened and enraged by recent events, but not surprised. And they sure aren’t giving up.

We’ve gotta invest in our ability to find joy before the work is complete, to experience gratitude alongside grief, and to still soak in the moments along the way that make the process feel worthwhile.

Beignet Returns

A quick dose of feel-good.

Beignet’s an Oregon gal.

It’s a great place to be a dog. All the weekend outings we used to take together up buttes and around waterfalls. Her life these days is just a bit too urban.

Ever since we moved to San Diego four years ago, I’ve been intent on bringing Beignet back to her old stomping grounds. I’ve wanted to lead her around some of her old favorite trails and parks around Eugene to see how much of it was familiar.

On our Northwest roadtrip, we took her back to her old favorite dog park. At four years older than she was the last time she was here, she’s no longer the fastest one, but it was so good to be back.

Remembrance is Resistance

Remembering is resistance.

I liked Colson Whitehead’s book The Underground Railroad. I saw it was being adapted for a series by Barry Jenkins, and was intrigued. I haven’t seen it yet, but it sparked a conversation around how to depict traumatic events throughout history.

To be honest, there’s a real tension between wanting to commemorate these events with a never-forget kind of energy, and the reality that the communities who’ve been hit by them directly don’t need to be retraumatized over and over.

Then two things happened in the past week that added further layers to that discussion.

The 100-year-anniversary of the Tulsa Massacre on Black Wall Street. The outright destruction of a thriving Black district because of white supremacy. It’s an event that only started receiving a spike of media attention in the past 2-3 years. Three survivors- Mother Randle, Viola Fletcher, and Hughes Van Ellis made recent appearances in a commemorative event, a reminder of the lives upended that never received justice.

Then there was the discovery of the remains of 215 children at a residential school in Kamloops British Columbia. Residential Schools were a practice by Catholic and Protestant churches in Canada, and the Canadian government where children were removed from their families and sent to ‘boarding schools’ intended to separate them from their cultural identity. Over 90% experienced some form of abuse and the schools had a 40-60% mortality rate. This was not long ago.

Honestly I don’t think there can be a totally “right” response to events so far removed from any notion of the way things should be. Concerns over the consumption of shared trauma are valid. But I have learned two things lately:

Nothing heals that isn’t grieved.

Rememberance can be resistance in a world that would rather have you forget and move on.

Loving This Guy

Kind of a big week for us...

Rhys started daycare this week!

It kind of marks the end of a year-plus of working from home while juggling baby chasing, getting an absurd amount of things done during nap times and early in the morning to make up for the rest of the day, and random midweek dad dates of scouting out the best playgrounds or walking spots.

The whole time we knew that wasn’t sustainable but if soldiers bond in trenches, so can new dads and one year olds. I knew while it was happening that the day would come that I look back at it nostalgically. Thursday afternoon playground visits. Bluey episodes to buy me time to send emails. Just watching him grow up!

I’m proud of us, for doing what it takes to pull off this past year and putting our family first. And I love this guy so, so much. Not even in the way that I’m “supposed to” being his dad and all. I just straight up think Rhys is great. I love all this personality that’s emerging, the strength of will, and the adaptable spirit.

You’re gonna light up that 6 months to two years caterpillar room!

Taking Space

Closing out #AAPIHeritageMonth in 2021 is like...

I’ve written, read, and reflected more on being Asian American I’m over the past few months than at any other point in my life. Partly because of all the global events, but also because of where I’m at in my own personal life.

It wasn’t always like this for me. In high school I didn’t want to be one of the Asians who seemed to only hang out with the other Asians. Even though my college must’ve had like 6-7 different variations of AAPI or Filipino American clubs, I wasn’t interested.

See, I’d always had the tendency to see my life as a story, and in most of the stories I was exposed to, the Asian characters were usually side roles. Comedic relief in a rom com. The tech specialist in a sci-fi novel. The wise sage in the fantasy. On screen and such, being Asian was already unique enough that writers often didn’t bother to add in more depth. And it wasn’t just in movies where this happened. From my observation, we were often specialists. Valued for a specific skill like medicine or programming. But rarely invited into decision-making, leadership roles.

I didn’t want to be a side character in my own life, so I downplayed.

It took years of disconnecting my idea of ‘normal’ from whiteness, learning that everybody has a culture that colors the way they see the world, and understanding how these assumptions were engineered to start disassembling them to get to a point where I now love talking about being Asian.

I grew up in a system that made me want to downplay my AAPI heritage for years, and now I get to spend the rest of my life taking that apart. I realize that every time I get to lend my voice, perspectives, or leadership to something, it might just be the visual a younger person needs to know they can set their eyes on something beyond a supporting role.

It’s what we mean by take up space.

PNW Roadtrip, pt. 1

This whole crew loves the PNW! 🌲🌲🌲 Something about this part of the world makes me feel extra alive. It’s been far too long since I’ve been here, but I’m glad this time lets us introduce Rhys and reintroduce Beignet for the first time since we moved out.

We’re still only halfway through the adventure with plenty more on our lists to check off.

✔️ Taking family photos that look normal at first glance
✔️ Letting Rhys meet some babyfriends
✔️ Catch up with some vaccinated friends we’ve missed!
✔️ Hang out with some mosses
✔️ Good coffee every day
✔️ See if Beignet remembers some of her old stomping grounds
✔️ Spending the weekend on the Olympic Peninsula on a friend’s RV
✔️ Visiting the massive REI in Seattle
✔️ Nature walks left and right
🔜 Rhys’ first ferry ride
🔜 Going camera happy and making videos
🔜 Supporting my favorite Portland doughnut shops

Read Fil-Am Writers

I had never read a book by a Filipino or Filipino American author until I was 28, and I read 30-50 books each year. Elaine Castillo’s America Is Not The Heart changed that.

The year after I read Jose Antonio Vargas’ Dear America, and last year I read Jia Tolentino’s Trick Mirror. To this day the number of Filipino authored books sits at 3.

Representation matters to me more and more but I rarely see our books on shelves. That’s why I was pretty amped to see this whole section of Fil-Am writers in The Hangout in Long Beach.

From children’s books to cookbooks to memoirs and graphic novels and poetry, the selection was amazing. I definitely left with a good sized bundle for me and Rhys.

Mothers

Nothing brings me joy quite like watching you watch our guy discover the world.

Usually surprise and wonder go hand in hand, but there are some things that are totally wonderful and not at all surprising. Like how incredible of a mother Deanna is to our Rhys. I could’ve told you she’d be a great mom for as long as I’ve known her, but seeing it all unfold live is spectacular.

I love how intentional you are with Rhys. How beautiful you make his world in the present and future, and by extension, how beautiful that makes the world we all live in.

Happy Mothers Day to the mothers and motherly, and love to those for whom today isn’t so easy.

Pastor Mike

In my early twenties, I got a chance to spend part of a year helping out at an orphanage* in Johannesburg.

*technically not the most accurate word, but this isn’t the time for that.

When I arrived, I didn’t have a set role. I was told I would figure that out with Pastor Mike, the care center’s founder. At the time, though, he was recovering from a foot operation following diabetes complications, so it took a while for us to meet in person. All the while I heard bits and pieces of his story. How he and his wife sold most of their stuff to move into what was perhaps Africa’s most dangerous neighborhood. How they were robbed of most of their things very shortly afterwards. How he founded the center to care for children whose family lives were disrupted, particularly during the terrible AIDS epidemic.

When we finally met, he was the kind of person all those stories would suggest. He gave me a list of teenage boys he wanted me to mentor and he and I would meet weekly. We talked about a lot of things. He grew up in the apartheid South Africa in the 1950s, lived long enough to support kids from the Born Free Generation, and traveled throughout much of Southern Africa. He saw worlds of change.

I learned so much from Pastor Mike, from the persistence of racial division- “apartheid ended a long time ago,” he told me, “but South Africa is still very much four countries.” to the urgency in caring for its kids- “there are many things in life that can wait,” he would always say, “but the needs of a child is not one of them.”

True to his word, when he retired, he moved into the orphanage. It was his idea of a retirement home. He wanted to spend more time with the kids.

A couple days ago, I learned about Pastor Mike’s passing at the age of 74.

I am thankful I got the chance to visit again a few years ago with Deanna and I am so thankful the South African kids I’ve gotten to know grew up with him in their corner. In all the work I do, I’ll always be influenced by his blend of urgency and tenderness, and the way he left nothing in life undone when it could be done to help others.

Thirtyone

And the story goes on!

It’s my birthday today.

As a kid, I loved getting older. Each year up meant new privileges, a bit more freedom, and being taken more seriously.

Then suddenly... it started feeling like it was happening too fast. It kept speeding up! Years were escaping! Loved ones were getting old! Childhood was over! Then college! My twenties!

A weird epiphany eventually made me less worried about the movement of time. A lot of things can only be enjoyed in motion.

Like a roller coaster. Or music. We get these melodies stuck in our heads, the connection between one note to the next to the next. It we were to just pause for stillness in between notes... the song would pretty much just stop.

The past few years have been so full of plot twists and they just don’t stop. If anything, they keep getting wilder! I’ve never liked the “man plans, God laughs,” adage because it sounds so maniacal, but I’ll be the first to acknowledge that you really never know what’s around the corner.

So many of the best parts of my life right now at one point seemed improbable. Maybe even impossible. But here we are.

And it’s only been 31 years!

The Life You Choose

I’ve been having to make a bunch of big life decisions lately, with Rhys getting bigger and things reopening and a post-pandemic world starting to come into focus.

So much of it is exciting, but it can also be a lot.

One of the most helpful exercises I’ve found is asking myself what I want my life to actually look like 6 months, maybe a year, down the road. Ever do something like that to make a big decision?

Here’s the weird catch...

If you find yourself saying stuff like “I want to read 50 books in a year!” “I want to write my own book!” “I want to finish three marathons a year and to use them to raise $3000 dollars to my favorite cause!” then you’ve fallen for the same trick I often fall for.

See, you didn’t exactly describe what you want your life to look like... you listed the things you want to get done. Meaning? You’re less likely to be satisfied until they’re checked off.

It’s easy to fall for this. An industrial, profit-driven world means we overvalue productivity and miss the joy of the process.

I eventually rewrote my description of what I wanted from life to list things like “starting Sundays a bit slower and bumping the music loud while getting ready for church,” or “waking up extra early on Thursdays to head to a coffee shop for a deeply focused creative writing session,” and “Friday pizza nights!”

At least for me it makes it all the more easier to start a Sunday or Thursday morning, or a Friday evening, really stoked about what makes that activity special. It’s not that I have to go to that freaking coffee shop and write something, it’s that I get to because it’s part of a life I chose.

May 2021

#121 Crying in H Mart

01 May 2021 // San Diego, California

You know what’s a good feeling? Reading a book and recognizing, within the first few pages, that this would be a really special, unusually enjoyable read and bracing yourself for a story you won’t be able to put down.

Right now, I’m there. Reading Michelle Zauner’s Crying in H Mart.

I’ve never heard anyone articulate the strange but sincere love I have for Asian supermarkets quite as accurately as she nails it.

Plus it’s largely set in Eugene, and every chapter is full of references to old streets I biked on every day. When I read the family at Sunrise Asian Market being described in full, my heart lit up.

I haven’t been this inseparable from a book in ages.

#122 Church Outdoors

02 May 2021 // San Diego, California

So often, art gets portrayed as an exercise in expressing yourself. That’s possibly one of the most frequently heard phrases associated with creativity… express yourself!

Sure, creativity is inevitably an act of self expression, but the idea of this being the purpose of creativity somehow manages to be both incredibly vague and limiting at the same time.

Some of my favorite artists don’t create just as an act of catharsis in expressing themselves… more often it’s a manner of caring for their communities. I started making truer and better things-and things that caught on with more people once I moved my focus in this direction.

Think of anyone who’s felt seen by a film like Minari, or found the words they’ve needed in Morgan Harper Nichols’ poems. While these stem from deeply personal experiences, they ultimately care for a greater community. That’s where the sweet stuff happens.

#123 Back in the Doona

03 May 2021 // San Diego, California

I’ve been having to make a bunch of big life decisions lately, with Rhys getting bigger and things reopening and a post-pandemic world starting to come into focus.

So much of it is exciting, but it can also be a lot.

One of the most helpful exercises I’ve found is asking myself what I want my life to actually look like 6 months, maybe a year, down the road. Ever do something like that to make a big decision?

Here’s the weird catch...

If you find yourself saying stuff like “I want to read 50 books in a year!” “I want to write my own book!” “I want to finish three marathons a year and to use them to raise $3000 dollars to my favorite cause!” then you’ve fallen for the same trick I often fall for.

See, you didn’t exactly describe what you want your life to look like... you listed the things you want to get done. Meaning? You’re less likely to be satisfied until they’re checked off.

It’s easy to fall for this. An industrial, profit-driven world means we overvalue productivity and miss the joy of the process.

I eventually rewrote my description of what I wanted from life to list things like “starting Sundays a bit slower and bumping the music loud while getting ready for church,” or “waking up extra early on Thursdays to head to a coffee shop for a deeply focused creative writing session,” and “Friday pizza nights!”

At least for me it makes it all the more easier to start a Sunday or Thursday morning, or a Friday evening, really stoked about what makes that activity special. It’s not that I have to go to that freaking coffee shop and write something, it’s that I get to because it’s part of a life I chose.

#124 Painted Rock Discovery

04 May 2021 // San Diego, California

In non-western countries, I’ve admired the community care where different generations provide care for one another.

When children are very young, a grandparent will help in with the childcare allowing a parent more capacity to earn an income.

Later the grandparent becomes the one in need of care, which their children step up to provide. This is often when the youngest generation is in school or about to start their career.

Often this cycle continues as elders pass, parents age, and new children are born.

Here’s what I find beautiful about this particular approach to childcare and elder care.

But just because it’s beautiful doesn’t mean it works for everybody.

The system relies on mutuality, and mutuality means everybody has a role. But when there are many cases where people can’t play their roles.

Single family households. Poverty that demands both parents work, sometimes multiple jobs. An unexpected, untimely death. Then what happens?

But- I think what’s beautiful about the village-family-approach isn’t so much it’s structure. It’s more so the mindset. That we’re all in it together. That at some points in our lives we’ll have a greater ability to give, and at other points we’ll be the ones in need.

#125 Thirtyone

05 May 2021 // San Diego, California

And the story goes on!

It’s my birthday today.

As a kid, I loved getting older. Each year up meant new privileges, a bit more freedom, and being taken more seriously.

Then suddenly... it started feeling like it was happening too fast. It kept speeding up! Years were escaping! Loved ones were getting old! Childhood was over! Then college! My twenties!

A weird epiphany eventually made me less worried about the movement of time. A lot of things can only be enjoyed in motion.

Like a roller coaster. Or music. We get these melodies stuck in our heads, the connection between one note to the next to the next. It we were to just pause for stillness in between notes... the song would pretty much just stop.

The past few years have been so full of plot twists and they just don’t stop. If anything, they keep getting wilder! I’ve never liked the “man plans, God laughs,” adage because it sounds so maniacal, but I’ll be the first to acknowledge that you really never know what’s around the corner.

So many of the best parts of my life right now at one point seemed improbable. Maybe even impossible. But here we are.

And it’s only been 31 years!

#126 Target Carts

06 May 2021 // San Diego, California

I think you can love something and still recognize parts of its history that are just plain wrong. We need more nuanced norms around how we accept our history. It’s not just our national parks system. It’s the United States. It’s the boundaries on our maps. It’s every significant institution and industry you can find.

It’s true that we have no choice but to live in a world shaped by these past wrongdoings. But it’s unhelpful when people turn the fact that we can’t change the past into a zero sum game where our only options are self-loathing or the idolatry of bad things.

Telling the truth about past wrongs is a vital step towards healing and reimagining how things could be. Once we’re honest about the past, we have the openness to invite a different future.

#127 Dunedin with Colberts

07 May 2021 // San Diego, California

In my early twenties, I got a chance to spend part of a year helping out at an orphanage* in Johannesburg.

*technically not the most accurate word, but this isn’t the time for that.

When I arrived, I didn’t have a set role. I was told I would figure that out with Pastor Mike, the care center’s founder. At the time, though, he was recovering from a foot operation following diabetes complications, so it took a while for us to meet in person. All the while I heard bits and pieces of his story. How he and his wife sold most of their stuff to move into what was perhaps Africa’s most dangerous neighborhood. How they were robbed of most of their things very shortly afterwards. How he founded the center to care for children whose family lives were disrupted, particularly during the terrible AIDS epidemic.

When we finally met, he was the kind of person all those stories would suggest. He gave me a list of teenage boys he wanted me to mentor and he and I would meet weekly. We talked about a lot of things. He grew up in the apartheid South Africa in the 1950s, lived long enough to support kids from the Born Free Generation, and traveled throughout much of Southern Africa. He saw worlds of change.

I learned so much from Pastor Mike, from the persistence of racial division- “apartheid ended a long time ago,” he told me, “but South Africa is still very much four countries.” to the urgency in caring for its kids- “there are many things in life that can wait,” he would always say, “but the needs of a child is not one of them.”

True to his word, when he retired, he moved into the orphanage. It was his idea of a retirement home. He wanted to spend more time with the kids.

A couple days ago, I learned about Pastor Mike’s passing at the age of 74.

I am thankful I got the chance to visit again a few years ago with Deanna and I am so thankful the South African kids I’ve gotten to know grew up with him in their corner. In all the work I do, I’ll always be influenced by his blend of urgency and tenderness, and the way he left nothing in life undone when it could be done to help others.

#128 Campsite Gumbo

08 May 2021 // Idyllwild, California

In one week we’re leaving for the PNW- which I am really looking forward to.

In addition to seeing a bunch of friends along the way, I’m also excited for the spots to be discovered. The Olympic National Park, the Hoh Rainforest, and Southern Oregon. I have quite a few ideas for videos in mind that I want to produce while I’m there, but in order to get them all made, that’ll call for leaving for the Northwest with several scripts ready to go.

So that’s what I’ll be pretty busy with over the next week. Here’s the docket:

• A script about the U.S.’s childcare crisis. It feels kind of current events-y right now, and it is, but it’s also a personal topic. I’m hoping to produce this on the road, meaning that I’ll be recording much of it this week.

• A script about why Thai restaurants are everywhere, and why you almost see more Thai restaurants than Thai people in a lot of American cities. I first had this realization while living in Eugene. It turns out that this isn’t just a strange happening but a bold, global strategic move by the Kingdom of Thailand and an act of culinary diplomacy.

• A script about my love for moss. I’m still thinking through how to make this as interesting as I can.

• A script about the problem of National Parks, in particular the origins of the National Parks system and how they displaced a number of indigenous tribes.

#129 Campsite Breakfast

09 May 2021 // Idyllwild, California

I don’t know what brilliant person came up with the term billion star hotel in reference to sleeping out of doors- but they were spot on.

I spent the night out in the billion star hotel, and I really love the great reset that camping serves as. I’m extremely glad, that even though I didn’t get a whole lot of outdoor experiences growing up, I have the motivation and the means to change that for Rhys. And I love how naturally he takes to being outside. 

#130 Workshirt

10 May 2021 // San Diego, California

Have you ever started talking to somebody about travel- maybe sharing some of your dream destinations and wishlist of adventures with them before realizing they do not see travel the way you see it.

And it’s very difficult to put the difference into words when this happens. But you hear an interest in luxuries and landmarks that seem to leave out local connections, and perhaps that seems like the distinguishing trait. But it’s tough to say… because even things like luxuries and landmarks can have their place in a meaningful adventure, and they’re not mutually exclusive to connecting locally.

You just know that when you say travel and when this person says travel, you’re really not talking about the same thing. And it’s yet another moment when your experiences while traveling feel all the more unexplainable.

#131 SPIRAL SLIDE

11 May 2021 // San Diego, California

I was told recently that I’m starting to gain more equity in a lot of the spaces I occupy. Which feels like a very strange thing to hear.

I know what that person meant. I’m being taken more seriously. Because I bring something to the table that isn’t easy to replace, people are more apt to work with me and listen in on ideas than to simply send out marching orders. It’s something people hopefully earn over time and experience doing whatever it is they do.

But with that said, it was also a reminder of the ways my privilege and also my lack of privilege set the pace at which I gain this “equity” and that makes the term extremely ironic. Because this is a dynamic that is entirely inequitable.

At least baked into this word is the reminder that I can always be using whatever influence I have to open doors for others.

#132 Run of Trees

12 May 2021 // San Diego, California

I’ve often talked about how our profit-driven culture is often at odds with the world I seek to cultivate. There’s a difference between maximizing things and optimizing them, seeking more versus seeking enough.

That said, the latter usually still calls for good habits like saving and investing your money. So how do you do those things while living in line with your values?

It’s easier to think about making sustainable decisions with the money you spend... but what about the money you don’t spend and save instead? After all, your bank doesn’t just let that money sit in an underground vault- it puts it to use to make even more money. Will it help launch a neighborhood business or will it fund a mega pipeline?

I’m not a finances guy, so I brought some of my sustainability and investing questions to my friend Melinh - Melinh runs an awesome account that helps people understand the financial world better to help them live in sync with their values. She knows this looks a little different for everybody, which is why she’s worth following!

#133 Kaiser Parking Garage

13 May 2021 // San Diego, California

I’m juggling a workload that seems to always max itself out, a fairly robust creative career that happens in the after-hours, and raising a kid during one of the most involved, hands-full stages of his life. Not to mention all the little complications set about by the pandemic.

I’d be lying if I said this wasn’t a lot. It is. And while I try to honor the way I need rest, I realize that I’m at a point in life where that’s really hard to fight for. It’s a juggling season.

In order to manage so many spinning plates, you’d think it would scatter you more across the board. Sometimes it does, but more often, it forces me to focus. The only way to manage so many of these spinning plates is to be as intensely present as possible, to keep the future waves from disrupting your ability to be at peace and play with the present tasks at hand.

#134 Bako Backyard

14 May 2021 // Bakersfield, California

One of my least favorite things about California, along with large portions of all the other states, is that it’s a place that was really designed more for cars than it was for people. I think of the general unpleasant aesthetic of a packed freeway, and realize, so many Californians will spend a significant amount of time just sitting in this and waiting that in the long run, it’ll represent a pretty large portion of one’s life.

Lately, I’ve been challenged to think of the things I and most people dislike about city living and to see if that’s really an issue with cities or cars. For example, most people complain about how city centers tend to be dirtier- but the restrictive proximity of many roads often prevents better methods of being able to manage waste.

I think a city that manages to be way creative in its design for people rather than personal vehicles would be something like Amsterdam. Or even Copenhagen. U.S. examples are a bit more sparse, but Portland strikes me as a possibility.

#135 Levi & Rhys

15 May 2021 // Sacramento, California

San Diego’s becoming a harder and harder place to live. I mean, that’s not particularly new. I was worried about those costs before we moved here.

But since a whole family has sprung up around us in that time, that concern gets even more real. A typical house goes for $850,000 right now. Nothing really sits on the market for more than a week, and offers are regularly made $250,000 over the asking price.

A conservative estimate for what we might get in a different market might look like saving at least $1000 each month, while getting to live in a three bedroom home with a backyard. Getting to grow stuff in that yard, do laundry without going anywhere, and just opening the door to let Beignet out seem like a dream. A dream I hope we get the chance to live shortly. Can it happen in San Diego? Perhaps if some miracle opportunity appears.

#136 cAYTLIN & THE BABIES

16 May 2021 // Sacramento, California

I think it’s fascinating and beautiful the way family units in low-income countries pull together to support their most vulnerable members.

When children are very young, a grandparent will help with the childcare allowing a parent more capacity to earn an income. Later the grandparent becomes the one in need of care, which their children step up to provide. This is often when the youngest generation is in school or about to start their career. Often this cycle continues as elders pass, parents age, and new children are born.

I find this approach kind of beautiful, to be honest. I grew up with my grandmother in the house, as my mom took care of her. She passed a few years ago and I am so thankful we had all those years to just live together so closely. Often, my mom helps out with my kid now, and it’s been beautiful seeing her enjoy being a grandma.

What I love about the village-family-approach isn’t so much the logistics or the structure. It’s more so the mindset. That we’re all in it together. That at some points in our lives we’ll have a greater ability to give, and at other points we’ll be the ones in need.

When that mindset is aligned with the problem solving skills and innovation appropriate for each culture, good things can happen.

#137 Weed Stadium

17 May 2021 // Weed, California

Our PNW road trip begins. Trying to drive from one end of the country to the other (vertically) with an 18-month-old seems like an ambitious order. But hey, that’s kind of how we roll.

We started with Bakersfield, getting to see the nephews again for the first time since Rhys was newly born.

Then it was on to Sacramento to hang with Caytlin, Justin, and Levi.

Medford on the way up, since we needed to cut the road between Sacramento and Portland in half.

Then Portland- which I’m always excited about. Reconnecting with Kathleen, getting Pip’s. Plus- swinging by Beignet’s old favorite dog park in Eugene on the way up.

Seattle after that. It seems like there’s endless places to wander.

Then the Olympic Peninsula of Washington. We’ll be staying in an RV, visiting the Olympic National Park, and spending some time amongst the mosses in the Hoh Rainforest. And our return route? It’s essentially that same thing in reverse.

We’ll ferry back to Seattle. Then head down to Portland to see friends like Jesse, Raquel, and Meaghan who we missed on the way up. Medford again, for the same reasons. Then Sacramento, where we’ve invited Joy and Daniel to meet with us.

We close out with Bakersfield before San Diego. This is going to be a legit adventure.

#138 Beignet in Eugene Again

18 May 2021 // Eugene, Oregon

I’ll be honest, with work picking up, with Rhys getting older, and life in general looking as full as it could possibly get over the next few years, one concern I happen to have is this– will we get to do anything anymore?

And what I mean by that, of course, is anything outside of the ordinary. Outside the daily rhythms of childcare and office work. Outside the home. Outside the routine that will be more and more mechanical.

Childcare is expensive. Travel becomes more and more of a complex orchestrated event rather than a spontaneous adventure.

One thought this leads me to is making sure that my daily surroundings are adventurous in and of themselves.

#139 Kathleen

19 May 2021 // Portland, Oregon

I had never read a book by a Filipino or Filipino American author until I was 28, and I read 30-50 books each year. Elaine Castillo’s America Is Not The Heart changed that.

The year after I read Jose Antonio Vargas’ Dear America, and last year I read Jia Tolentino’s Trick Mirror. To this day the number of Filipino authored books sits at 3.

Representation matters to me more and more but I rarely see our books on shelves. That’s why I was pretty amped to see this whole section of Fil-Am writers in The Hangout in Long Beach.

From children’s books to cookbooks to memoirs and graphic novels and poetry, the selection was amazing. I definitely left with a good sized bundle for me and Rhys.

#140 Seattle Water Tower

20 May 2021 // Seattle, Washington

This whole crew loves the PNW! 🌲🌲🌲 Something about this part of the world makes me feel extra alive. It’s been far too long since I’ve been here, but I’m glad this time lets us introduce Rhys and reintroduce Beignet for the first time since we moved out.

We’re still only halfway through the adventure with plenty more on our lists to check off.

✔️ Taking family photos that look normal at first glance

✔️ Letting Rhys meet some babyfriends

✔️ Catch up with some vaccinated friends we’ve missed!

✔️ Hang out with some mosses

✔️ Good coffee every day

✔️ See if Beignet remembers some of her old stomping grounds

✔️ Spending the weekend on the Olympic Peninsula on a friend’s RV

✔️ Visiting the massive REI in Seattle

✔️ Nature walks left and right

🔜 Rhys’ first ferry ride

🔜 Going camera happy and making videos

🔜 Supporting my favorite Portland doughnut shops

#141 QUilcene Non-Hike

21 May 2021 // Quilcene, Washington

We’ve met so many friends along the way, while taking this road trip. Almost all of them are living in places where they aren’t originally from, which is fun. It naturally invites the questions of how they ended up there, why, and how it works for them.

Of course, everyone’s so differently wired that there is no criteria to see how those experiences might apply to your own or even influence your decision making if you’re gonna move. You just have to feel it out, and see why things worked out for that person in that place, assuming they did.

Self-awareness goes a real long way when it comes to this. Knowing what you need from your home helps you go a long way in finding the right place to call home. 

#142 Hurricane Ridge

22 May 2021 // Olympic National Park, Washington

I have been so spoiled by my reading list lately. I found each of these three books impossible to put down and I finished two of them over a total of four sittings... you know how unlikely that is with a one year old??

Michelle Zauner AKA indie artist Japanese Breakfast appeared in so many of my subscribed podcasts over the past month to talk about Crying in H Mart- it felt so good to hear somebody who shares the same odd sentimentality around Asian supermarkets that I do. Plus, a good chunk of this book takes place in Eugene around the time I lived there and I was thrilled to hear the owners of my usual grocery spot described in detail.

I also can’t say enough good things about Good Talk. When Mira Jacob’s son starts asking her questions about Michael Jackson’s skin and how his grandparents could support a leader who makes the world less safe for him... she does the best to engage these questions honestly and artistically. I’ve never had a book largely focused on race make me laugh so much while still being totally heartfelt.

Minor Feelings added in the emotional complexity of melancholic rage- best described in Korean as the feeing of Han. The essays in this book were not what I expected but were packed with stuff I needed to jot down!

#143 The Hall of mOsses

23 May 2021 // Olympic National Park, Washington

Today we got to wander and explore through the Hoh Rainforest. This is a place that has been on my wishlist for a long time, especially after seeing all the images that make it look exactly like a wonderland of moss. 

I absolutely loved being there. Being at the base of some gigantic trees and seeing their “fur coats” in vibrant green was kind of like a bear hug from nature. Even though it was a fairly regularly visited place, it was still enveloping enough to feel like you were getting out and away to somewhere really special.

I mean, this is somewhere special.

#144 A Ferry Voyage

24 May 2021 // Seattle, Washington

One of my favorite things about the Pacific Northwest, specifically Washington State? The state ferry system!

For just $9 a person, we were able to board a ferry, wander the passenger cabin for a bit, climb up to the top deck, get a spectacular view of the City of Seattle, and see Rhys love the breeze in his hair.

Oh, and best of all? We ran into an orca. It’s like a $9 whale watching safari!

#145 Wilsonville Field

25 May 2021 // Wilsonville, Oregon

I know I still don’t do it perfectly, but…

I think of myself over the past ten years, and I think I’ve really come a long way when it comes to asserting my boundaries when need be. Especially when I think somebody has done something that negatively affects me and when I sincerely think it would serve that person well to know the impact of their words/behaviors/actions, etc.

I think this is kind of the key to doing it well… understanding how having a difficult conversation like this with someone can actually serve as an act of kindness.

#146 Seeing Jesse & Raquel

26 May 2021 // Portland, Oregon

A trio of big wins for the environment came today.

Chevron’s investor’s demanded sharper emissions reductions from the company.

Shell was ordered by the Dutch court to halve their emissions sooner than planned.

Shareholders of Exxon elected new directors who were more partial to climate action.

It’s exciting to me that 2/3rds of these stories exist because investors demanded it.

The concerns of an emerging generation can influence investors if the message is delivered strategically.

#147 Tiny Home in Medford

27 May 2021 // Medford, Oregon

For most families in the U.S., childcare is unsustainable.

As in... things can’t keep going on the way they’ve been going.

For over a year now, I’ve been working full time with one hand tied behind my back, juggling parenting and working in the same space, same hours. And I’m one of the lucky ones! I know so many people who’ve had it even harder.

The cost of a preschool is often greater than a college tuition- except parents of preschoolers often have lower income potentials and opportunities to save up compared to parents of college students... and it’s not like that’s a great scenario to aspire to anyways!

This latest video explores the childcare crisis in the United States, does the math to compare costs, and looks at what other countries have done to care for the kids.

#148 Bloomsbury Books

28 May 2021 // Ashland, Oregon

I was wondering… perhaps even hoping… that this trip would’ve provided a moment of clarity around whether we’d rather live in Sacramento or Portland, since those seem to be our top two picks for where we’d end up if we’re ultimately priced out of San Diego.

To be honest, it still feels like a split decision to me.

Portland has so many things going for it. The environment and natural surroundings. Public transport. The free preschool. And it has a personality I think I mesh with. And we have great friends there but none with kids.

Sacramento has that. Kind of a built in community. But it’s real tough to say if a lot of the issues I’ve had with San Diego transfer there. The heat. The dependency on cars.

At least, we have more recent images of these places if this deliberation becomes a more real and pressing thing.

#149 Bako Pool

29 May 2021 // Bakersfield, California

What a trip!

Driving from the southwest corner of the country to the northwest corner is ambitious in and of itself. Add a puppy and an 18 month old into the mix, and yes, that is a challenge. But we’re the challenge accepted types around here, and tricky as it was, man it was so worth it.

We’re at such a unique, somewhat chaotic, unpredictable, but absolutely memorable time in our lives. I know we’ll always remember this one.

#150 Westwood Bem

30 May 2021 // Los Angeles, California

Coming back home at the end of a long trip is a feeling in and of itself. It honestly felt a little good to be back in our tiny place, starting to unpack and unwind.

It’s so easy to focus on how our place isn’t big enough for us anymore, how the lack of a yard and laundry are deeply inconvenient, and how we need to start looking for a new place stat.

But we’re back home and it feels good, and that’s saying something.

It means the baseline of our lives is already really good. I love this family.

#151 sIAM nARA aEsthetic

31 May 2021 // San Diego, California

Closing out #AAPIHeritageMonth in 2021 is like...

I’ve written, read, and reflected more on being Asian American I’m over the past few months than at any other point in my life. Partly because of all the global events, but also because of where I’m at in my own personal life.

It wasn’t always like this for me. In high school I didn’t want to be one of the Asians who seemed to only hang out with the other Asians. Even though my college must’ve had like 6-7 different variations of AAPI or Filipino American clubs, I wasn’t interested.

See, I’d always had the tendency to see my life as a story, and in most of the stories I was exposed to, the Asian characters were usually side roles. Comedic relief in a rom com. The tech specialist in a sci-fi novel. The wise sage in the fantasy. On screen and such, being Asian was already unique enough that writers often didn’t bother to add in more depth. And it wasn’t just in movies where this happened. From my observation, we were often specialists. Valued for a specific skill like medicine or programming. But rarely invited into decision-making, leadership roles.

I didn’t want to be a side character in my own life, so I downplayed.

It took years of disconnecting my idea of ‘normal’ from whiteness, learning that everybody has a culture that colors the way they see the world, and understanding how these assumptions were engineered to start disassembling them to get to a point where I now love talking about being Asian.

I grew up in a system that made me want to downplay my AAPI heritage for years, and now I get to spend the rest of my life taking that apart. I realize that every time I get to lend my voice, perspectives, or leadership to something, it might just be the visual a younger person needs to know they can set their eyes on something beyond a supporting role.

It’s what we mean by take up space.

Still Processing

Ah, a photo from a lifetime ago. Or... January 2020. Same thing, basically.

I went into the new decade with one big intent—to make sure I was taking the time to love the process.

In the book The Practice, Seth Godin does a pretty stellar job of explaining how in an industrial world, we’re conditioned to value outputs. This leads to us being so motivated by checking stuff off our lists that we no longer enjoy the actual moments where we’re doing those things.

This can be true in day-to-day things-like being so motivated to finish writing an article that you’re no longer getting pumped over the process of choosing words, giving life to ideas, or creating a narrative. This can be true in bigger picture things like being so rushed to get married that you don’t enjoy the sweet early stages of dating as much.

I run into it all the time with my creative work and I run into it all the time with Rhys. It’s easy to be allured by the promise of a new age or milestone and the bits of independence that brings. But I don’t want to be asleep to the fact that I’m currently living in one of the sweetest seasons of my life.

I get asked about productivity a lot, but I honestly don’t value productivity as much as I value process. I like reminding myself that a lot of the things I make or do, I do largely because it’s fun!

Youn Yuh-Jung

I never think I’m gonna have opinions about the Oscars but then the awards start and I realize who I’ve been pulling for all along (you go, Octopus!)

This week, Halmoni won an Oscar.

I loved Youn Yuh Jung’s acceptance speech. I mean, we all did pretty much, but I loved the ending acknowledgement of ‘mommy working so hard.’ It struck a note of both playful and brutally honest at the same time that felt so familiar. So often you hear of how migrant parents, women of color, or other underestimated people need to work twice as hard to make it half as far. It’s an understatement if anything.

I grew up hardly ever seeing anyone who looked like myself on a screen, let alone my grandma. And while celebrity accolades aren’t usually of much interest to me, I will celebrate every accomplishment that makes that less true for my kid.

Greer

Here’s an odd thing I do... poke around on Google Maps for fun. Sometimes I humor my curiosity about what life looks like in extremely northern towns in Canada, or as remote as street view let’s me go in Mongolia.

Occasionally I do this in places closer to home, and that led to me getting really interested in Greer, Arizona. Google let me see that:
🌊 It was at the fork of two rivers
🌄 User uploaded photos were great
🚶🏾A few hiking trails ran through
🧂 Most businesses were lodged

So how was it? Eh. But part of the fun of exploring is finding out for myself.