February 2022 — Philippe Lazaro

#32 Standing Desk

01 February 2022 // San Diego, California

Believe it or not some people have a hard time with Asian people being Asian and eating dumplings on New Years… so it’ll probably be a hard pill that we’ve also got a whole other New Year.

A resolution? Spending as little time as possible dealing with closed mindedness. Who’d pass up an excuse for more xiao long bao? New Years, a baby’s baek il, Shohei Ohtani’s birthday, all valid.

True story though, the journey to love my Asianness just keeps getting better. This month it’s looked like memoirs by Kat Chow and David Chang, Irvin’s salted egg chips, finally watching a Hayao Miyazaki movie, and loving the way my middle child seems to have inherited eyes that kiss at the corner. It’s Thich Naht Hanh’s influence on Western spiritual leaders like Thomas Merton and MLK, my friend @jieunandgreg reclaiming her name, and hearing Tagalog and Cambodian dialogue on The Cleaning Lady.

Let’s get on with this Tiger Year.

Let’s be real, January was an off month in a lot of ways. Sickness. Daycare closures. And not having much access to some of the things in life that help me feel alive. I know seasons of dormancy are natural and healthy but this one didn’t exactly have me feeling like me.

But… I just bought some plane tickets. And I’m planning another trip. And I’ve got some space cleared on my calendar to do some of that deeper creative work that goes beyond making stuff and to give new ideas a chance to breathe.

Take the restart if you need it. If not, enjoy a day of being very Asian and treat yourself to some xiao long bao.

#33 Machetazo

02 February 2022 // San Diego, California

Following a Twitter bot that simply posts restaurant photos from all over the globe indexed on Google Maps has brought me inexplicable levels of joy.

#34 Mostra Taps

03 February 2022 // San Diego, California

The creative process is so much more than sitting down to make stuff. It starts long before that. It’s not just when you’re in the studio or in front of the canvas or at the keyboard.

It’s also when you’re sipping wine and reading a book, watching a documentary, catching up with a friend, or playing with your kids. We think of these activities as downtime, but these are our life experiences, we take in what life has to offer and our response to that fuels creativity.

So many people make Netflix a punching bag as something that gets in the way of your creative work. You hear people say stuff like “if you have an hour to spend in front of Netflix every night then you have an hour you could spend writing,” and look, sure for some people that’s an important message. But also, I think we’re healthiest when there’s a balance between our creative output and our creative input.

I actually get a lot out of some of the stories I watch. Like, a lot. I love it when they make me think hard, and I love it when they make me feel something really deeply. But it can’t just be as simple as throwing something on and spacing out. I need to actually get myself immersed in the story and give it my full attention. Let myself get taken in by the cinematography, notice the sound work. I like to watch with the lights off so I’m really taken in by what’s on the screen. And I pick what I watch very carefully. I want to make sure it’s something that’s worth my time, the kind of thing I want more people to make. And watching a movie like Swan Song or a series like Station Eleven ends up being an experience that’s really good for my creativity and my sense of wonder.

#35 Good Morning Kai & Juniper

04 February 2022 // San Diego, California

Considering the impact of climate is a prerequisite for being a forward thinking business today.

#36 Big Rock Rhys

05 February 2022 // Poway, California

Our relationship with mystery- the things we don’t know- gives birth to some of the worst things we’re capable of, as well as the best versions of ourselves.

We’re hardwired to reduce uncertainty. It’s a strategy for survival. But it’s too easy to take it too far.

Dan Kahan once measured people’s belief in human activity causing climate change and found only a very weak correlation between agreement and competency in statistics, data, and scientific studies. Political affiliation was a much stronger correlation. If somebody identified as conservative, they were over 90% more likely to disagree. In other words, knowledge seems to only give you more motivation and tools to justify what you want to believe.

One of the most common symptoms of privilege or being in a dominant social group is that you’re way more likely to assume expertise in stuff outside of your experience without batting an eye.

When our relationship with uncertainty is unhealthy, it leads us to meet the new and unknown with prejudice, fear, and assumptions, rather than wonder and curiosity. There’s a knee-jerk rejection of the chance that the world could be anything than what we thought it was. It turns faith into dogma. It turns collective experiences into conspiracy theories. It turns pride in your identity into assuming the inferiority of everyone else’s.

Boarding schools. Phrenology in 18th century textbooks. Talking heads on news channels. Doctors dismissing the complaints of Black patients. ‘The economy’ as a justification for everything. Microaggressions where someone’s a little too confident about how much they know about your origin.

The opposite of this is creating a healthy relationship with the unknown.

There’s something irresistible about a faith that’s all about surrendering to a love that’s so much bigger than anything you can intellectualize. A person who radically accepts others without judgement. A relationship that leaves room for all the mysteries of another person, no matter how long you’ve known them. Somebody who sees the way the world changes with sincere curiosity rather than fear.

#37 My Three Babies

06 February 2022 // San Diego, California

Is it a peak millennial thing to have turned the Pacific Northwest from a geographic region into a whole personality, or do other ages do it too? I feel like really went in on the PNW in our 20s.

#38 Trader Joe’s Parking

07 February 2022 // San Diego, California

I don’t really like to give parenting advice, but two years into it, here’s the most important thing I’ve learned.

Nothing lasts all that long.

Right now, I have two newborns and a two year old. It’s a lot. And some moments are especially challenging. Sometimes we run into a stretch where the little ones take a step backwards with their sleep schedule. Or when the older one is having a lot of big feelings.

Here’s the thing. None of these stretches last very long.

I can think of times a year or so ago where looking after Rhys was just really, really tough.

But, it didn’t take long before things changed and what was challenging about that point went away.

This is a double edged sword, though, because, sure. The stuff that’s hard, that doesn’t last.

By that same token, neither does the cute stuff.

The quirky ways they mispronounce words.

Their obsessions with certain activities.

Who they are at a given moment.

It goes fast.

Don’t rush it.

#39 Loaf Rising

08 February 2022 // San Diego, California

Would be easier to have opinions on all this year’s Oscar nominees if I’d actually, y’know, seen more than two of these movies.

On the flip side, I did see all of the nominees for Best Animated Feature and what an incredibly good year for animation.

#40 Ebbetts Cap

09 February 2022 // San Diego, California

A creative rut can be really frustrating. It disrupts your workflow, it might throw you up against a deadline where you’re like, I dunno, I’ve got nothing. It may go so far as to make you really question who you are. Wondering about your identity and all that.

None of that is comfortable.

But you know what? That can be a really good thing.

You don’t exactly learn things when everything’s going easy. You learn when there’s some struggle. When you’re forced to think through your decisions and ask yourself, is this actually what I want to be doing? A creative rut can be a great teacher.

#41 Rhys’ First Halo Halo

10 February 2022 // San Diego, California

Adventure is a priority for me. Exploring, being curious, and feeling truly alive. It’s also a value I hope to pass on to my kids.

So this past week I’ve been planning some of the adventures we’ll be going on. Our first time as a family of five. I thought I was just planning one trip, but it turned into a domino effect of needing to practically map out the whole year. Honestly having to write, edit, change, and rewrite plans so many times was a lot of work. But that’s the value I put on these adventures.

Planning these things for three little kids, that’s a whole different ballgame too. My adventurous half knows that comfort isn’t the point, but my paternal half wants everyone to have a safe and smooth experience. And good things happen when they mesh and come to the understanding that comfort and safety are two different things.

I’ve been appreciating the mentality of mountain climbers, lately. Not that I’ve done much myself, but I’d love to once the kids are old enough to let me train. In the meantime I’ve been watching docs like 14 Peaks for the inspiration.

You need to be just a little bit out of your mind to take on something like K2, because the challenge is often absurd. But you also need to be totally sober minded, because if you aren’t it might literally kill you. What a paradox.

But that’s the whole paradox that forms around parenthood and many other parts of life. Keeping each other safe while seeking growth and discomfort. Letting nurture and adventure work together.

#42 Not So Recent Reads

11 February 2022 // San Diego, California

It’s been a minute since I’ve shared notes from what I’m reading. Some of these are from a little while back.

I’ve slowed my reading down a little but to really take in some of my recent reads. Books are some of those things that help me travel when I can’t travel. In hostels throughout Vietnam. In Bolivia with Peace Corps volunteers. West Africa through public transport or Southeast Asia with an eccentric businessman.

Read any of these?

📗Almost Sleeping My Way to Timbuktu

📕An Indian Among Las Indigenas

📒Transcendent Kingdoms

📔My Year Abroad

📘Never Go Full Pai

📙Gold Diggers

#43 Sunset Kia Ride

12 February 2022 // San Diego, California

I’ve stopped using the terms good weather and bad weather. It’s mid-February. I’m in San Diego, where it’s 85º F right now.

Everybody talks about the weather in San Diego, and how it’s got good weather all the time. And what they mean is that we don’t get as many extremes or as much variation as the rest of the country.

But is 85º in February a good thing? In the context of rapidly intensifying climate change. Is that a good thing? Does that make anyone else nervous about what it means for June?

What counts as good weather and bad weather is so subjective. I used to live in the Pacific Northwest. It rained a lot, lots of people would call it bad weather. But I loved it. It made me feel awake. It was a vibe.

I’m still down with the terms good weather and bad weather, but I wish we would qualify it more. Today the weather is good… for going in the ocean. It’s not so good for our ongoing drought, but it is good if you want to have some pink lemonade on the porch.

#44 Pink Lemonade

13 February 2022 // San Diego, California

I add to my record collection very sporadically… and infrequently these days. I can’t quite say it’s a collection of favorite albums, because then it would have some glaring omissions. If nothing else, it probably reveals my age as well as my birth certificate.

It’s such an incomplete collection, but it’s got personality.

#45 Valentines 2022

14 February 2022 // San Diego, California

Every day, I get to wake up and work towards:

✊🏾 A healthy climate

✊🏾 Building empathy through storytelling

✊🏾 Those three hours in between the kids’ bedtime and my own where I get to eat chips and watch YouTube videos under a blanket

#46 Rut Escape

15 February 2022 // San Diego, California

So much screen time the past few years!

During those earliest days of the pandemic, it seemed like catching up on shows and movies was all there was to do. These days, after getting three kids to bed, a bedtime story for myself on HBO Max is a nice little treat.

It’s funny because there used to be a negative correlation between the time I spent watching stuff and my quality of life.

We spent a long chunk of my childhood without a TV, but when high school came around that changed. I ate up the DVD sales at Blockbuster. There were a lot of moments around that time where life felt some combination of difficult or boring, and so there was something kind of aspirational about the stories I watched. Like, life could get exciting!

And it did. In college and in my early 20s, things took off. Friendships. Adventures. And I had so much going on, I couldn’t keep up with a show. The times I’d see movies were when friends hosted movie nights. I thought my infrequency of watching stuff meant that I had better things to do.

Stuff often comes full circle though.

While life is different, I’m still loving it. It definitely isn’t boring. At the same time, I’ve been watching a lot more stuff. And that hasn’t been a bad thing. I’m realizing that my love of stories enriches life.

Netflix is such an easy punching bag sometimes. How many times have you had someone use the phrase “if you can watch Netflix for two hours a day, you have the time to…”

For me, though, getting immersed in a story kickstarts my own creative energy. Watching something that hits those deeper feelings stirs up an extra sense of aliveness. Of course, you have to be a bit selective. And attentive. I tend to turn up the sound and turn down the lights just to boost the experience.

What has your relationship with screen time been like?

#47 Parking Tree Line

16 February 2022 // San Diego, California

One common thing with Black History Month is a failure to connect the dots from past to present, mistaking moments of progress for some kind of finish line and missing out on the fact that Black history is still being written every day, and our choices will reveal how we fit into that story.

I like the story of Hiram Revels. You don’t see his story profiled for Black History very often, although his legacy would merit that. And his legacy also confronts these two common mistakes.

Revels was the first Black senator in the United States, representing none other than Mississippi. In fact, he filled the senate seat vacated by Jefferson Davis. He was also a minister and absolutely brilliant and bold in making moves towards progress.

Despite taking office just three weeks after the 15th Amendment was ratified, prohibiting racial discrimination against voting, taking office was complicated. A bloc of senators were determined to keep Congress all white. Because Mississippi seceded before the Civil War, they prolonged its readmission into the union. Their efforts ultimately failed and in the meantime Revels used his power to appoint Black leaders across Mississippi and in the federal government.

The idea of Black Senator from Mississippi would seem pretty progressive by today’s standards, which is why it’s also important to remember that it happened before. In the 1870s, more than a dozen Congress members were Black.

What happened? An alliance between Southern Democrats and Republican president Rutherford Hayes withdrew the federal troops from the South who protected Black voters. By the 1900s, Jim Crow laws were enacted and enforced by groups like the KKK. Even after the Civil Rights Movement in the 1960s, the duty of obstruction was handed off to mass incarceration and a divestment of Black communities.

When you think of Black History as a finished work, it makes it harder to see the contrast between federal troops protecting Black voters and senators refusing to prevent laws designed to create hostile voting environments in Black communities in Georgia, Tennessee, or Texas.

Celebrate Black History, and pay attention to the parts still being written.

#48 Open Creative

17 February 2022 // San Diego, California

I see the deaths of Michelle Go and Christina Yuna Lee, and I don’t exactly know how to respond.

How am I supposed to respond to murder?

I’m a big solutions guy. When faced with global scale problems, I naturally look at the solutions that are out there and explore how we can promote them. How we can scale them up.

But when it comes to the spike of threats to Asian lives, women and elders especially… there is no quick and easy solution.

I can’t think of a law one could pass or a verdict that could come down that makes this all go away.

I don’t mean that to say there’s nothing we can do. On the contrary, there’s so much to be done. A lot of work ahead.

But for now, I think it’s important to remember Michelle Alyssa Go, and Christina Yuna Lee, who were so much more than their tragic deaths.

They were friends. They were loved. Yuna was a creative soul, a music lover, with great artistic taste. Michelle was active. She was a coach. A volunteer.

They were here. Their lives were meaningful. Like Grace Lee Boggs said, the only way we survive is by taking care of each other.

#49 Banana Q Brew

18 February 2022 // San Diego, California

Fun field trip to the brewery behind my house. Got to try my hand at grinding oats for a Buko Pandan IPA and sampled a grilled banana stout.

I got to help a nearby brewery start a new brew of Buko Pandan IPA.

Pandan is a fragrant leaf used in a lot of Southeast Asian deserts. In the Philippine’s it’s frequently paired with Buko (young coconut).

This batch needs to sit for a little bit before it’s ready. But I got to try some other flavors in the meantime.

#50 Clasico Sin Fronteras

19 February 2022 // San Diego, California

“The idea that some lives matter less is the root of all that is wrong in the world.”

–Dr. Paul Farmer

So much of his writing- especially on Haiti was foundational to me as a student and a newcomer in the world of International development. He knew the agency he had and used it to build others’.

#51 Platform Jumping

20 February 2022 // San Diego, California

Lately, I’ve been really loving other people. I know I risk sounding tacky when I say that, but maybe that ship already sailed.

These days, time spent around other people has been so deeply nourishing. Even in mundane interactions in passing, I’m finding myself experiencing a lot of joy from being around others. I’ve always been pretty extroverted, but this feels different than that. Deeper.

I think you can live a life of love without looking like most people’s idea of a “people person.” That said, though, I think it’s a little too easy these days to make not liking people into a whole personality.

I get it. A lot of stuff is happening in the world and a lot of it can make you feel disappointed in humanity as a whole, or anxious in social settings. But I think leaning into our connections with each other is one of the best uses of our time alive, and one of the most fulfilling. If we go too far down the wormhole of cynicism, I think we’re the ones who miss out on that joy.

Plus, I’ve always found that one of the best ways to restore your appreciation for people is to engage more deeply, rather than to detach.

Here are a few things that have helped me get more joy out of people:

👉 Remembering the statistical unlikelihood of each interaction that happens and reframing it as the miracle that it is.

👉 Staying deeply curious about other people.

👉 Having a sense of humor since every person contains a lot of contradictions and absurdity.

👉 Not having an agenda or trying to change the person right in front of you.

👉 When somebody is voicing something that’s hard to hear or that you deeply disagree with, consider it an act of generosity that you’ve given them an outlet for those feelings that possibly prevents them from coming out in more harmful ways.

👉 Still having boundaries around that. It can be generous to sit and listen to something you disagree with, but not every interaction is for everybody. If one does you more harm than good, it might be best for you and the other person to walk away sooner.

Anything else?

#52 Piecer Puzzle

21 February 2022 // San Diego, California

No way around the fact that today was rough for so many. Ukrainians. LGBT+ kids in TX/FL.

Really wish I had the power to keep y’all safe.

But trying to make sure I don’t miss the everyday opportunities I have to contribute to a safer world for us.

💛🇺🇦🏳️‍🌈🏳️

#53 Hendricks Beach

22 February 2022 // San Diego, California

War is not inevitable. War is not natural. War is not abstract.

It is real and it is awful.

In school, to pass tests, I needed to know about wars and who won them.

Later in life, after having visited a number of post-conflict communities from Colombia to the edge of Myanmar, I know the real answer is that everybody loses.

And most people around the world know that too, especially those who have lived through war. When I was born, Ukraine had more nuclear weapons than anyone except for two nations. In 1994 they chose to give them up, making one of the largest strides towards peace within my lifetime.

Today in St. Petersburg, thousands of Russians are packed in the street, shouting “No to War” and “Ukraine is not our enemy.”

The world was definitely not in need of another crisis or another threat to vulnerable lives.

Some days are extra heavy. So full of evil. As I read about the invasion of Ukraine followed by threats to LGBT+ kids in Texas and Florida makes me wish that there was so much more I could do. It angers me that the people with the most ability to impact lives so often use it destructively.

But it does fill me with a sense of determination. To not squander the opportunity I do have- no matter how small it feel at a global scale, it’s not zero. Every day I get to make decisions that affect other people near and far. While today was heavy enough to make my to-do list fee irrelevant, it also was an invitation to make sure everything on there would be on a worth-doing list.

#54 Kai, Juniper, & Mama

23 February 2022 // San Diego, California

I’ve stopped using the terms good weather and bad weather. It’s mid-February. I’m in San Diego, where it’s 85º F right now.

Everybody talks about the weather in San Diego, and how it’s got good weather all the time. And what they mean is that we don’t get as many extremes or as much variation as the rest of the country.

But is 85º in February a good thing? In the context of rapidly intensifying climate change. Is that a good thing? Does that make anyone else nervous about what it means for June?

What counts as good weather and bad weather is so subjective. I used to live in the Pacific Northwest. It rained a lot, lots of people would call it bad weather. But I loved it. It made me feel awake. It was a vibe.

I’m still down with the terms good weather and bad weather, but I wish we would qualify it more. Today the weather is good… for going in the ocean. It’s not so good for our ongoing drought, but it is good if you want to have some pink lemonade on the porch.

#55 Spying on Juniper

24 February 2022 // San Diego, California

Something that still blows my mind about our climate story is this. How vast the whole thing is.

Like, parts of this story take place in the halls of Congress, other parts in labs where new technologies are being made.

There are scenes in my kitchen as I meal plan for the week, and on rural villages in Tanzania with how people decide to farm their land.

Parts of this story play out in mental health, in community design, in spirituality.

It’s amazing.

Of course our ability to create change isn’t exactly equal. But at least it’s interconnected.

Just like how the Marvel Universe can go into outer space, or the floor of a kid’s bedroom, then bring those storylines together.

I guess that’s what I love about climate storytelling. You never really run out of storylines.

#56 Passport Photos

25 February 2022 // San Diego, California

People talk about creativity inconsistently. Sometimes we talk about it like it’s an innate thing that we’re just born with or gifted with. Maybe it’s something deep within each of us, but not all of us give ourselves the chance to unearth it. Then again, maybe it’s something more like a skill or a strength we need to cultivate. Like we can get more creative over time if we just do the work.

Honestly, I kind of think it’s both.

I tend to agree with those who say everyone is creative, or more accurately, that everyone can be creative, which would mean creativity is innate. And the reason I think that is because of the way kids play. Creativity appears to be our natural state that most of us grow dull to as we age.

But it takes work to keep our creativity alive. And I think it’s that work that keeps us from getting dull with age. And that vast majority of that work means showing up to do the work over and over.

#57 Jollibee Pies

26 February 2022 // San Diego, California

This is a friendly reminder to print out your photos. I just got a new batch printed, I try to do this every year with my favorites of the previous year.

People take pictures for so many reasons- to share online, to be creative. If you’re like me and you take pictures mostly to celebrate and remember your life, this doesn’t help.

Mindlessly taking a gazillion photos of the same moment, only to have all those duplicates become forgotten digital files on your camera roll. I get why that happens, but

The act of curating your photos, choosing just one, and then printing it out actually helps your brain lock in that memory. And you experience more gratitude for that moment.

#58 Kai & Juniper’s Baptism

27 February 2022 // San Diego, California

Kai and Juniper were baptized this week.

Things have been hectic lately. All the bits and pieces that make up life have felt, I dunno, demanding. And that’s to be expected with three kids I guess, but right now we’re in the throes of it.

So thankful for this moment that was so simple but profound. I love these kids, this life, and this ancient faith.

Also, these handbells slap!

#59 Rhys After School

28 February 2022 // San Diego, California