Time to start developing this crucial skill
I think that over the next ten years, the single action with perhaps the highest potential to ignite change and action will be something that’s a pretty lost art these days:
Listening.
It feels so passive, especially in contrast to speaking out, but I think whoever takes the time to master the art of listening will become a real force for change.
So much of the ongoing calls-to-action around the world are to speak up. To speak up for justice, to speak up for peace, and to reject silence. I have no problem with this, and I think I’ve seen a lot of things change in real time as a result of public pressure.
The general public sentiment towards Gaza has really moved over the past few months, though there remains a lot of work to be done.
Over the past five years, so much climate action has been driven by grassroots pressure, exerted strategically.
Speaking up is extremely important of course, and will continue to be important. But as we’ve been in an era where the possibility of a big platform always seems within arms reach, when apps are constantly asking us to broadcast our thoughts and ideas freely into the world, and where public figures are put on blast for what they ~don’t~ say just as much as what they do say, I do think that’ll start to put a premium on the other side of the coin: listening.
Already, some of the leaders who’ve gained a following more quickly did so because of their perceived ability to hear the concerns of their audience. This can be used for good or for harm, but a strong predictor of success has been how well a leader has been able to put into words the feelings and sentiments of a wider audience, and mirror it back to them. When the world feels cacophonous, the sense that something you say, think, or feel could be received by somebody brings satisfaction and relief.
If you look at any hot-button topic right now, one that tends to stir up a lot of anger in conversations, you’ll find people who don’t feel like they’ve been heard. I do tend to believe the best in people and often have to reconcile that with the reality that there are masses who support absolutely ridiculous and reprehensible things.
One of the things that’s helped me understand that a bit better is a sign that was in a middle school classroom I once taught at.
“The kids most in need of love will ask for it in the most unloving ways.”
I think that a lot of the people who have had their cries for justice long ignored will ask for it in unjust ways. In ways that bring injustice and harm towards other people.
Anger, as an emotion, is something that signals to us when our sense of justice, of right-and-wrong has been violated. So even when someone’s being angry about something ridiculous, if you dig deep enough you can often find something at the start of their anger that makes a little sense, even if it’s misguided in the broader context of the situation.
I believe that the discipline of listening can help change these situations. It can help diffuse that sense of anger. It can bring people down from their reactive state of mind into a space that’s more rational. When people have been heard, they can no longer act on the feeling of having been unheard, and can instead meet the world around them a little more evenly.
I’m not suggesting this means we should give a platform to every person with some sort of crazy rant to go on. There are already enough podcasts that seem to do that pretty effectively. In fact, I don’t think the space where we’ll recover the art of listening will be on a podcast or on stages or any of the big-public-mass-media spaces we fix so much of our attention on.
I think they’ll be happening in more personal spaces, in face-to-face conversations, and in small groups.
Part of why the art of listening has gone out of fashion has been that we’re kind of out of practice. It feels like low hanging fruit, but there’s probably a lot of truth to the culpability of social media and all kinds of technology that skew our habits more towards speaking and listening. Plus, society seems to reward those with a lot to say than those with the ears to listen.
There’s also probably the sense that listening is a passive action at best, and it can’t possibly generate any of those changes we so urgently wish to see in the world. Even recommending listening as a means of social impact feels a little bit woo-woo.
It’s easier to track the logic of so many speaking up against a certain thing that those responsible have no choice but to succumb to the pressure and leverage their positions to enact a little change.
Tracing how listening can create an impact feels less linear.
When listening feels like a lost art, however, it ends up putting a premium on those who can actively incorporate listening into their approach to creativity and activism. Having some practices to hear the voices around you, to offer space where others can feel heard, and to display responsiveness towards those voices will end up making your work far more effective.
These sound like the words of an idealist. I am an idealist. But there are so many real-world examples that vouch for this.
One of my favorite case-studies that demonstrates the impact of listening on real social issues has been the practice of deep canvasing.
An LGBT rights group went door-to-door during an election year starting conversations with voters about how they felt towards gay rights. They part of their approach was to not directly persuade anybody in any direction, but to simply ask questions. Their findings were two-fold:
When people were asked to articulate their ideas, they typically became more nuanced and flexible.
The data also revealed that this practice was one of the most effective strategies at moving people towards affirming gay rights.
One very different arena where I’ve seen listening take off has been how much more important crowd work has become in the world of standup comedy lately. Being able to communicate in two directions has become more indispensable.
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Listening for a Change
This skill will soon be one of the biggest forces for change
MAY 28
Time to start developing this crucial skill
I think that over the next ten years, the single action with perhaps the highest potential to ignite change and action will be something that’s a pretty lost art these days:
Listening.
It feels so passive, especially in contrast to speaking out, but I think whoever takes the time to master the art of listening will become a real force for change.
So much of the ongoing calls-to-action around the world are to speak up. To speak up for justice, to speak up for peace, and to reject silence. I have no problem with this, and I think I’ve seen a lot of things change in real time as a result of public pressure.
The general public sentiment towards Gaza has really moved over the past few months, though there remains a lot of work to be done.
Over the past five years, so much climate action has been driven by grassroots pressure, exerted strategically.
Speaking up is extremely important of course, and will continue to be important. But as we’ve been in an era where the possibility of a big platform always seems within arms reach, when apps are constantly asking us to broadcast our thoughts and ideas freely into the world, and where public figures are put on blast for what they ~don’t~ say just as much as what they do say, I do think that’ll start to put a premium on the other side of the coin: listening.
Already, some of the leaders who’ve gained a following more quickly did so because of their perceived ability to hear the concerns of their audience. This can be used for good or for harm, but a strong predictor of success has been how well a leader has been able to put into words the feelings and sentiments of a wider audience, and mirror it back to them. When the world feels cacophonous, the sense that something you say, think, or feel could be received by somebody brings satisfaction and relief.
If you look at any hot-button topic right now, one that tends to stir up a lot of anger in conversations, you’ll find people who don’t feel like they’ve been heard. I do tend to believe the best in people and often have to reconcile that with the reality that there are masses who support absolutely ridiculous and reprehensible things.
One of the things that’s helped me understand that a bit better is a sign that was in a middle school classroom I once taught at.
“The kids most in need of love will ask for it in the most unloving ways.”
I think that a lot of the people who have had their cries for justice long ignored will ask for it in unjust ways. In ways that bring injustice and harm towards other people.
Anger, as an emotion, is something that signals to us when our sense of justice, of right-and-wrong has been violated. So even when someone’s being angry about something ridiculous, if you dig deep enough you can often find something at the start of their anger that makes a little sense, even if it’s misguided in the broader context of the situation.
I believe that the discipline of listening can help change these situations. It can help diffuse that sense of anger. It can bring people down from their reactive state of mind into a space that’s more rational. When people have been heard, they can no longer act on the feeling of having been unheard, and can instead meet the world around them a little more evenly.
I’m not suggesting this means we should give a platform to every person with some sort of crazy rant to go on. There are already enough podcasts that seem to do that pretty effectively. In fact, I don’t think the space where we’ll recover the art of listening will be on a podcast or on stages or any of the big-public-mass-media spaces we fix so much of our attention on.
I think they’ll be happening in more personal spaces, in face-to-face conversations, and in small groups.
Part of why the art of listening has gone out of fashion has been that we’re kind of out of practice. It feels like low hanging fruit, but there’s probably a lot of truth to the culpability of social media and all kinds of technology that skew our habits more towards speaking and listening. Plus, society seems to reward those with a lot to say than those with the ears to listen.
There’s also probably the sense that listening is a passive action at best, and it can’t possibly generate any of those changes we so urgently wish to see in the world. Even recommending listening as a means of social impact feels a little bit woo-woo.
It’s easier to track the logic of so many speaking up against a certain thing that those responsible have no choice but to succumb to the pressure and leverage their positions to enact a little change.
Tracing how listening can create an impact feels less linear.
When listening feels like a lost art, however, it ends up putting a premium on those who can actively incorporate listening into their approach to creativity and activism. Having some practices to hear the voices around you, to offer space where others can feel heard, and to display responsiveness towards those voices will end up making your work far more effective.
These sound like the words of an idealist. I am an idealist. But there are so many real-world examples that vouch for this.
One of my favorite case-studies that demonstrates the impact of listening on real social issues has been the practice of deep canvasing.
An LGBT rights group went door-to-door during an election year starting conversations with voters about how they felt towards gay rights. They part of their approach was to not directly persuade anybody in any direction, but to simply ask questions. Their findings were two-fold:
When people were asked to articulate their ideas, they typically became more nuanced and flexible.
The data also revealed that this practice was one of the most effective strategies at moving people towards affirming gay rights.
One very different arena where I’ve seen listening take off has been how much more important crowd work has become in the world of standup comedy lately. Being able to communicate in two directions has become more indispensable.
I’ve been nudging the teams around me to think of how to better incorporate listening into their strategy. Sometimes its as simple as hosting more opportunities for people to ask questions or to incorporate their ideas that are related to your work.
There aren’t exactly any overnight strategies, however, to immediately become a good listener. Partly because it’s not the sort of thing you can strategize. Insincere listening simply doesn’t do anybody any good, so listening needs to come from a genuine desire to hear others’ ideas.
That desire can’t be faked. However, there are inner traits that can help make that desire more salient.
Humility.
Curiosity.
Concern.
I think the more you feed those inner qualities, the more likely you are to see effective listening emerge as an outcome. And as you see intentional listening increase, you’re also going to see more opportunities to create change.