#61 Lake Hodges Hike
01 March 2020 // Escondido, California
What if you made it your absolute mission in life to let people know that you’re glad they’re here? That they exist. That you’ve had the chance to meet them.
Think of how dogs light up when good people are around. What if you gave off that same energy?
What if we didn’t care at all about impressing anyone, about winning any arguments, or about proving anything? The only goal we put forward is to let people know we’re glad they’re around.
I’d bet a lot of the other things we worry about in our interactions would get better too.
#62 Miramar Eucalyptus
02 March 2020 // San Diego, California
What are the best books you’ve read so far this year?
I definitely can’t devour my reading list the way I used to before Rhys was born, so that’s made me want to be more selective about what I start reading. And I’ve also had to get better at abandoning books that just aren’t doing it for me.
Here’s what I’ve read in the first few weeks of the year.
Atomic Habits by James Clear – James Clear is probably one of my five favorite people I follow on Twitter. A whole book of his insight was a real treat. It was a really actionable read, and probably one of the most appropriate choices for the start of a new year.
The Book of Unknown Americans by Cristina Henríquez – First novel of the year, featuring some really empathetic characters of migrants to the USA. A little grim, but so human.
Rooted in the Earth by Dianne D. Glave – A short but deep dive into the African-American environmental heritage. As I’m learning that environmental conversations often exclude voices of color, I’m trying to get a lot more fluent about talking about this intersection.
I’m Still Here by Austin Channing Brown – This is a challenging, important, and urgent read. I strongly recommend it for those who think they’re already doing all they can to oppose racism.
Ones I haven’t gotten to yet, but up next: The Underground Railroad, The Moment of Lift, How to be an Antiracist
Abandoned: Inland by Tea Obreht – Tea’s first book, The Tiger’s Wife, is one of my unknown favorites. She’s still a terrific writer, but the Western genre just really isn’t for me.
#63 Voted Sticker
03 March 2020 // San Diego, California
In the past few years, I’ve heard more and more about how fear isn’t entirely bad. It can cause a lot of trouble when we put it in the driver’s seat, but fear has a purpose.
Elizabeth Gilbert has been one of the best at articulating this. She highlights how we experience fear because it keeps us alive. The part of our brain that experiences fear is the part that kept us from being preyed upon by stronger species. Rather than being completely antagonistic towards fear, we can acknowledge it, thank it for the role it plays, and make a more sober decision.
The world is complex enough where two seemingly opposite things can both be true. Perfect love casts out fear. Loving others will give you more reasons to fear. But what really matters is the way we respond to scary situations. Coronavirus is the trending topic of the moment, but this is a question that comes up again and again.
When I think about our present day refugee crisis, it’s a topic where I feel very strongly that fear has gotten the better of us. We’ve somehow convinced ourselves to be afraid of some of the most vulnerable people groups on earth.
But then, the same part of the population that worries about refugee resettlement expresses little concern about climate change. Generally speaking. And the same segment of the population that argues against alarmist messaging about refugees seems to embrace it when it comes to climate. Are we too afraid? Are we not afraid enough? Maybe we just need a different way of thinking about these things altogether.
Here’s what I believe now: I still believe love is the highest calling and that perfect love casts out fear. But I don’t think that means never being afraid. It means moving through your fears, not around them, in order to do the right thing. Dismissing the concerns of other people isn’t being fearless, it’s simply being asleep to your own fear. And it isn’t helpful.
Instead, deciding to love anyways, after considering all the facts is the type of love that casts out fear. And it invites something else in its place. A loving concern. One where you’re looking out for the interests of other people in a way that’s informed, sober-minded, strategic, and wise.
#64 Rhys & Sis
04 March 2020 // San Diego, California
The most contagious virus of all is fear. But perhaps the second most contagious thing is apathy. Or complacency. Or whatever you want to call it when serious problems threaten the world’s vulnerable and those of us who are unaffected just sit accept it.
The past couple weeks, I’ve been pretty taken in by the unfolding of the coronavirus. I hate to admit that I’ve been a little fascinated by the dynamics of how the world responds to something like a quickly spreading epidemic. The outbreak’s narrative crosses paths with so many of my interests– genetics, travel, geography, problem-solving. But of course, it’s ultimately a tragedy, having claimed over 100,000 lives.
The most common reactions I see to the spread of the virus are almost totally the polar opposites of each other. One is entirely led by fear. The other is totally asleep to it.
In the face of an epidemic, panic does more harm than good. You see the cases of people stockpiling masks, hand sanitizer, and toilet paper, depleting retail supplies, creating price spikes and making it harder for the people who really need these defenses to find them. Panic is at its worst when it merges with prejudice, as we’ve seen directed at so many people of Asian heritage since the outbreak started.
On the other hand are those who have completely dismissed the virus as an overreaction. Many are eager to point out all the other things that have caused more deaths each year. To a lot of my peers, the virus isn’t that scary. They are young and healthy, and if they somehow managed to contract the virus, they’d most likely ward it off in a couple of weeks. But their response to the virus will still have an impact on people the age of my parents, or on people with more fragile immune systems like my wife. To say the virus isn’t a big deal because it only affects these populations is telling these people that their health doesn’t matter.
Neither of these responses seem right. Both the fear-driven frenzy and the insistence on inaction have the potential to do harm to a lot of people. Both prioritize the emotional needs of the individual rather than what’s best for everyone.
This past week, the virus showed up fifteen minutes from our front door. A retail employee tested positive at a nearby mall. I’ve been talking more and more with Deanna about what we’ll do if we get to the point where we need to lay low for a little while. Her work puts her in frequent contact with our local population without housing.
#65 Pick Up Here
05 March 2020 // San Diego, California
You work for an environmental org, right? Why are you always talking about microfinance?
It’s a worthwhile question. People recognize the stuff Plant With Purpose does like planting trees and soil friendly farming. But you get to the part where we help rural villages start community led banking groups and that’s a little out of the frame that most people have around environmental work.
I actually think these groups are one of Plant With Purpose’s coolest program interventions. And they’re a big part of the reason our environmental work is so effective.
Traditionally, environmental causes have been looked at as quite separate from human causes. But the links between poverty and environmental damage are strong. And it goes both ways. One of the biggest causes behind rural areas’ contribution to deforestation is the lack of opportunities.
About 30% of the world is unbanked. Mostly women. Here’s how changing that creates a healthier environment.
#66 Beignet Turns Five
06 March 2020 // San Diego, California
Look who turned five this weekend!
This one’s made the transition into being a big sister pretty nicely. As we thought she would. Our plan from the beginning was dog-then-kids, since it’s easier to keep everyone safe and trained that way. Seeing her play gently with random kids and be great with our nephews were early indicators that she’d do well with a baby.
She still tries to sneak in a lick here and there that she isn’t allowed to, but she’s been great with Rhys.
Beignet’s been a source of clumsy joy and lightness, even when things were really hard. I’m happy she gets to be part of the fun as well.
#67 Return Tripping
07 March 2020 // San Diego, California
Guess what. We’ve got a return to New Orleans in the works!
🍤🍤🍤
Admittedly, I’m probably a bit biased towards the new sights. And that’s in spite of the fact that I’ve absolutely loved so many places I’ve been. But I guess my train of thought is that there are so many places in the world I want to see in my lifetime, I’ve got to be at least a little deliberate in getting out there to get to most of them.
🗾🏞🌅
That said, the appeal of going back to old favorites keeps growing over time, and there are definitely some places I’ve been where I could easily see myself having even more fun the second time around. Namely:
New Orleans – The food alone is reason to return. It felt like we barely scratched the surface on our last visit and that there’s plenty more to be seen and done. I especially want to look into an eco-friendly swamp visit.
⚜️⚜️⚜️
Vancouver – Two years ago, we went for our anniversary and did a lot of fun stuff. I bet we could return, do none of the same things, and have an equally good time. That’s how much it felt like the city was overflowing with stuff that interested us.
🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦
Cape Town – A colorful city with a bit of an edge sandwiched between a mountain and two oceans. With penguins. It’s almost as if the city was designed for my tastes. If only it weren’t really, really far to get to.
🇿🇦🇿🇦🇿🇦
Taipei – This was the last little solo-backpacking trip I took before getting married and I remember being surprised at how much I underestimated it. Taiwan has a lot of fun and quirky things, whilst being really accessible and easy to bop around.
🇹🇼🇹🇼🇹🇼
Munich – Bavaria was my favorite part of Germany. And we only passed through on a Sunday when most things were closed. I could totally see myself enjoying more time in town.
🇩🇪🇩🇪🇩🇪
#68 Rhys at Golden Hill
08 March 2020 // San Diego, California
This feels out of character.
I’m not normally one to be on the cautious side. I think my track record over years-and-years indicates the opposite.
But the more I’ve been following the spread of the Coronavirus, the more I’ve been thinking that it would be wise to get ahead of the curve. It seems almost inevitable to me that it’ll make its way to California at some point, and I think it’s about time to make plans for what we’ll do when it’s widespread here.
I simply need to make sure this thing doesn’t make its way to Deanna.
The more planning I can do to stay ahead of things, the less I have to be worried about.
That part of me isn’t out of character, I guess. I’ve always been a planner. Except, rather than planning how to avoid bad outcomes, I’ve been planning around how to make my dreams happen. Then again, maybe those dreams simply mean making sure my family stays safe.
#69 Moment of Lift
09 March 2020 // San Diego, California
I keep thinking about something Abby Edelstein said last week at Creative Mornings- definitely the quote that stuck with me the most:
Fear will get you to keep saying yes to stuff that gets in the way.
I can’t stop thinking about how true that is.
It’s the reason why it’s tempting to keep belaboring over figuring out things that aren’t that essential, while putting off making a push to the things I want.
I know this is true for me a lot of the time. And to make it less true, I think it’ll be important to recognize the “wrong yesses” I often say.
Yes to waiting on having the perfect site and media library, rather than just making good stuff.
Yes to waiting for a king sized community, rather than just throwing the events I dream of.
Yes to having my “brand” figured out, rather than speaking up about what’s important as I see it.
Time to say better yesses.
#70 2020 Staff Retreat
10 March 2020 // San Diego, California
Our staff retreat today was really focused on feedback. Especially using a model for giving helpful, constructive feedback. The whole thing felt quite similar to some of our premarital counseling activities, actually.
I used to be quite averse to confrontation. Then I started to force myself towards it, but in a clumsy way that wasn’t totally me.
But, since I’ve started paying attention to people who do such a good job of speaking honestly in a challenging and constructive way, it’s made me see the value of helpful feedback and being more direct. I’ve drifted quite a bit to the other end of the spectrum where I’m generally comfortable bringing stuff up and want to keep getting better at it.
#71 Scott in Green
11 March 2020 // San Diego, California
During our staff retreat, we had a collaborative activity meant to be a challenge. Midway through, we had to evaluate how we were performing on a scale from 1-5.
Amidst all the all the 4s and 5s, I gave us 2s and 3s.
I did have a vantage point in the exercise to see areas where we weren’t doing well, but, I was also able to see so much more potential to be better. I think it might surprise people to find me as a tough grader, but that’s often how I roll.
Partly, I’d love to reserve the highest grades for people who really achieve a certain wow factor with what they do.
I’m not a critical person, but at the same time, I am pretty keen on seeing potential. And if I can see how something could potentially be better, then I can’t just give it the highest grade.
I hope that when it comes to feedback, I’m affirming of what’s working, while still always challenging others to see the way things could be better.
#72 Contingency Planner
12 March 2020 // San Diego, California
I’ve been quiet on here. Much like the rest of the world, my life came to a pretty sudden pause.
My focus the past few weeks has been almost singular: keeping my family safe. We have some risk factors that led us to going into full isolation.
I’ll give an update soon enough about how that’s been going, but for now, we’re well. I am so glad we started taking more precautions earlier in the spread. It isn’t like me to be easily worried, but there’s a reason we have that inner voice we need to listen to sometimes.
In the meantime, just keep doing the next right thing.
It’s a simple idea, but also a profound spiritual practice, and the way we’ll move forward.
One of these days, Rhys and I will get to chat about this weird moment in history that struck four months after he was born. I want to be proud of what I tell him about how we handled this time.
#73 Playing With Mom
13 March 2020 // San Diego, California
I’ve realized that this moment will perhaps be the biggest historical event that I live through. In that event, I think it’ll be helpful to write down everything as it happens for Rhys someday.
Dear Rhys,
You came into the world at a really wild time. Just four months into being your dad, we were hit with a global pandemic.
Apparently, you’re only about a month or two older than the coronavirus that’s been going around. It started infecting humans somewhere in China in late December. Since then, small outbreaks have happened in Hong Kong, Singapore, and Korea. Things got pretty bad in the latter, but they figured out how to get a handle on things fast.
Then it made its way to Italy. Spain. Iran. And here in the US.
Then it ended up in a nursing home in Seattle and a cruise ship in San Francisco. Quietly, a lot of travelers brought it to different cities from Europe.
Now it’s close to us, and everywhere. And it’s time that it’ll disrupt our lives for a bit in some way.
At first I started tracking this virus out of curiosity. The challenge of stopping a pandemic is a fascinating one. But now, all that tracking pays off. I’ve been slowly asking more what-if questions. What if it shows up in our city.
This week, we know it’s here, and it’s time to act.
#74 Quilted Chillin’
14 March 2020 // San Diego, California
Dear Rhys,
On my way home from work yesterday, we discovered that this virus made its way into the NBA, Congress, and Tom Hanks.
In other words, it’s all over the place.
This virus is only three months old, meaning that there’s only so much we know about it. What we know is that it’s main effects are shortness of breath, extreme weakness, lung scarring, and a really intense pneumonia.
It tends to be fatal for the elderly, or people with chronic conditions. Like the lung issues your mom has.
This is why for the time ahead, my number one goal, far-and-away will be to keep this virus away from your mom.
The scary part is that the disease is devastating to some, but invisible in most. It takes about two weeks for symptoms to show up. It looks like about 80% of the people who have the virus have no symptoms but can pass it on to others. It’s also next to impossible to get tested right now, so it’s quite easy to get exposed to it without knowing.
It looks like it isn’t enough to track the sick people and to stay away from them. You can get infected by people who otherwise seem well.
Another scary thing I read was a study from UCSF that projects 40-70% of Californians will be infected in the next year or so. I wish that projection came from a less reputable source. So… how do we keep your mom out of that population?
Right now, we’ll be figuring how to cut ourselves off from interacting with anybody else who might have been exposed or infected. It won’t be easy to avoid everybody except for each other and you, but we have pretty strong reasons for wanting to do so.
We love you and we’re planning on being around for you.
#75 Stuck Inside
15 March 2020 // San Diego, California
Dear Rhys,
Things with this virus change very quickly. One minute I thought that our decision to isolate ourselves was an advanced step, necessary because of your mom’s health risks.
Turns out, we weren’t that far ahead of the rest of the world. It looks like soon enough the whole State of California will have a mandatory lockdown. It won’t surprise me if there’s one over the whole country before long.
We’re collectively separated, all in quarantine.
I know that under normal conditions, I probably would’ve found a way to use this time to get super productive. After all, I wrote most of my Master’s thesis when your mom was once hospitalized for a week. I’m not easily slowed down. But this time around, in between planning and working from home, all I can do is keep refreshing for updates.
I know that this moment will pass, and eventually I’ll get stir crazy and need to do more. For now, I think it’s fair if that takes some time.
Right now, we all have much more of that than we used to.
#76 Feeding the Rhys
16 March 2020 // San Diego, California
Dear Rhys,
In the middle of a pandemic, everyone’s biggest concern is not getting sick and not spreading the sickness to others.
But that definitely isn’t the only concern.
When people can’t gather, people can’t work. People lose jobs. Millions did overnight. Suddenly our old economic systems don’t work anymore, though if you asked a lot of people, it already hasn’t been working.
A lot of different governments and leaders in the world have been criticized, fairly in my opinion, for not acting swift or strong enough to stop the spread. Many neglected testing and under reported cases to make things appear normal. There was a real reluctance to trigger a public reaction. I think a lot of people were worried about what that would do to the economy.
I think the lesson here is that whenever you prioritize the economy over people’s security, both ultimately suffer. In this case, more people got sick because we weren’t prepared sooner. Because so many got sick, the economy tanked.
Always keep people as the priority.
#77 Quarantined Rhys
17 March 2020 // San Diego, California
Dear Rhys,
I did the math. With about 50reported cases of the virus in San Diego, and 10,000 people exposed for every reported case on average, there are about 50,000 people here who have been exposed. That means 1 in 30 people we come across are potential carriers of the virus. That number will only go up. It is conceivable of how half the population could end up exposed to this.
We need to get out of San Diego. Not that other cities are necessarily safer, but our condo here won’t work. Someone next door keeps coughing. Plus Ron wears scrubs often- meaning he’s probably highly exposed to the virus. Walking Beignet gets scary, having to suit up, avoiding the doorknob, and so on.
I’m going to see about the Aunts and if Carson might be a better place to stay. If this thing keeps growing at this rate, one of our neighbors will for sure be infected.
#78 Coronavirus
18 March 2020 // Carson, California
Dear Rhys,
We made it out of San Diego.
We got ahold of Auntie Ella and Auntie Fely. They’re both at a high risk age, so I’m glad they have been taking the safety measures very seriously. They haven’t seen anyone but each other for about a week, and they’ve shown no symptoms of the virus.
Deanna and I have decided to make our journey to Carson and that we’ll be staying there for the foreseeable future.
It’ll be interesting… caring for you at four months old, while the two of them are in their 80s, and your mom and I try to keep up with our workload. They have a backyard area, which will be good for Beignet to be able to roam around in. Their gated community also seems like it’ll be much more secure than any other options we have.
I am so thankful that they are willing to have us here. Their generosity really is bottomless, and you can see why Auntie Ella is the sort of person I wanted you to be named after.
Quarantining is always better when you aren’t alone, I suppose, and I’m glad that we’ve got this crew all together.
#79 Shelter in Carson
19 March 2020 // Carson, California
Dear Rhys,
Tonight I had to venture out into the world. One grocery run, and a stop at CVS to pick up some medicine for Auntie Ella.
I can’t say I enjoyed it. It was kind of a nerve-wracking experience being outside and having to do everything I could to avoid exposure to people.
Here’s what going out was like:
I changed into an outside outfit. A t-shirt and some jeans, plus a raincoat I’ve been throwing on top as an outer layer. I put a mask on and gloves and once those are on, there’s absolutely no more face-touching. This became a nuisance when some hair started to drop in front of my face, but it just wasn’t worth it. In the raincoat’s pocket I keep a thing of sanitizer, that way I could pump some and rub onto things like my credit cards after touching them or swiping them, etc.
My first stop was at a Filipino grocery, to try and pick up rice among other things. This market was packed with people, especially since rice was in short supply. I knew it wasn’t a good spot to be. I avoided crossing paths with anyone as much as possible, and when I did I held my breath. In line, I managed to try and force distance in between people.
Unfortunately, a lot of the people in the market were wearing scrubs, one person wearing an airport uniform. These are some of the most exposed professions, so I had to try extra hard to avoid them.
CVS was a little easier, as was Albertsons. I tried getting what I needed while keeping a massive distance between myself and anyone else.
Outside, I noticed a lot of careless people. One person wore a face mask but kept fiddling with it. Another person wore gloves but couldn’t stop touching her face. And there were a lot of people not keeping their distance.
I wouldn’t be surprised if some people I saw out there tonight exchanged the virus. It is a bit comforting, though, to know that there was probably nobody there being more cautious than me. I’m glad I was out there rather than your mom or the aunts.
#80 Isolating With The Aunts
20 March 2020 // Carson, California
Dear Rhys,
Not only has this virus interrupted everything, but its threat will probably also tank the world’s economy. Hardly anyone can go to work right now, millions have already lost their jobs, and this will be rough on small businesses.
Here’s a short list of small/local places I really hope survive. I want you to experience them someday:
Café du Monde (New Orleans)
The Book Catapult
Powell’s Books (Portland)
The Last Bookstore (LA)
Momofuku
Pop Pie Co.
Cafeina
Salud
The Bijou (Eugene)
#81 Quarantine: Carson
21 March 2020 // Carson, California
Dear Rhys,
Tonight we did something a little different while everyone was quarantined. Trivia night.
I managed to use a Zoom line to start an 8-way video call. I wrote up a bunch of questions to comprise several rounds. And we went at it like a night out at a pub, except with every person in their own homes.
A few of us thought it was a welcome distraction from everything going on. It was great to be able to talk to others, at the very least.
I sometimes wish my gift during a time of crisis could involve playing the role of problem solver. More often than not, though, I think it looks like finding a way to light up dark spaces and dark times. To be the scavenger who can always figure out how to find some joy. To laugh in the face of peril and make everyone feel like they can keep going.
Maybe that’s not a bad role to play after all.
#82 Quarantined Trivia Night
22 March 2020 // Carson, California
Dear Rhys,
Our church started a phone tree. Each of us deacons were given a short list of names of people to call to reach out to, so we could see if they need anything.
I got about three people who answered for me, including Ed.
I’m glad that we go to a church that does stuff like this. That has a community like this.
The next time things are safe enough for people at church to see you again, you’re going to be a humongous boy. It’ll be nuts.
#83 Doctors RxTra Special
23 March 2020 // Carson, California
Dear Rhys,
I’ve often thought that a more grateful world would equal a better world. I suppose at some point in the future we’ll have a sense for how true that is.
Uncertain times lay ahead. I know that once some signs of normalcy reappear, we’ll be hungry for em. Whenever they announce the starters for the first NBA game. Whenever street buskers reappear in Brooklyn subway stations and piazzas in Milan. Whenever Trader Joe’s and Costco hand out samples again. We’re gonna look so fondly on the ordinary.
But it won’t really be a return. There’s no way we don’t emerge from this pause as a different world. What kind of world’s it gonna be? We get to choose! Let’s make it one where we’re always looking out for the most vulnerable, where we’re always asking how we can help each other, and where we never take a damn “ordinary” thing for granted.
#84 RHYS’ BREAKFAST
24 March 2020 // Carson, California
Dear Rhys,
When did Will Smith tell us all that “danger is real but fear is a choice?” (It was in that movie After Earth he did with Jaden. Never saw it, but great quote, Will)
🌎🌍🌏
About a month or two ago, I started tracking this virus outbreak. Deanna has some risk factors, so I started asking myself what we would need to do if it were to make its way towards Southern California. At first it felt very hypothetical, though I’d make larger grocery purchases of frozen and canned things than usual. Then about a week before things really went haywire, I realized it was time for us to pull back from going into the office.
We’ve been effectively self-isolating for two weeks at this point. I’m so thankful I was a bit early to resort to those measures- by being even just a couple days ahead we significantly reduced our risk.
Since then, we’ve made our way out of San Diego.
Being on the more cautious end of the spectrum felt a little out of character for me. I constantly talk about how fear isn’t the answer, and I spend a lot of time with people and in places wrongfully considered scary.
The thing that’s becoming more clear to me is that giving into fear is different than being aware of possible dangers. If you’re aware, you can be more strategic. In the long run, it gives you and the people around you less to fear.
😷😷😷
One other thing, I wear a mask on the occasions that I need to step away from the house for a bit since I’m taking care of three high-risk people and a baby right now and I can’t afford to bring anything home. If you’re not in a vulnerable circumstance and you do have masks or other PPE like them around, do figure out how to get them to your local hospital ASAP.
#85 GRASSROOTS ON COVID-19
25 March 2020 // Carson, California
Dear Rhys,
This virus is a big reminder of how vulnerable all of our lives are, and how our sense of security is mostly an illusion.
While all this is going on, I wonder about the most vulnerable communities. The rural communities across Asia, Africa, and Latin America I’ve spent most of my life trying to be close to. Right now, physical proximity would be reckless, but I am thinking about them.
Most African and Latin American countries have reported small numbers of Coronavirus infections, mostly among people who’ve traveled between capital cities and economic hubs. The poorest communities are often rural, and their remote locations may be their best defense. Never have I been more thankful for the fact that it takes such a long and bumpy ride to get to these parts of Haiti, Tanzania, and beyond.
But if this virus makes its way to those parts, it’s effects will be awful. Many people have health problems and medical infrastructure is minimal.
I released a new, unplanned, episode of the #grassrootspodcast to talk about how Plant With Purpose is responding to the pandemic. Stream via the link in my bio.
#86 rhys outside
26 March 2020 // Carson, California
Dear Rhys,
You know one of the hardest parts of this pandemic?
How long it takes.
Length is good, though. One of the most important things the world has learned is why it’s important to “flatten the curve” or have people get sick over a longer stretch of time rather than all at once. Everybody getting sick at the same time might be faster, but it would also overwhelm hospitals and lead to more deaths that could’ve been prevented.
But better doesn’t make it any easier. It’s still March (somehow) and it looks like things won’t even begin to make strides towards normalcy until July. And that’s just speculative. China is still shut down and they’re about three months ahead of us. Plus we’ve been cautioned against a fall resurgence of the virus.
I’ve had to wait a while for a lot of good things in life. Finishing grad school. Being your dad. I know waiting can be difficult but that it can also produce more spiritual maturity than most things.
I’m curious to see what will happen the further into this we go.
#87 MEDICAL CERTIFICATES
27 March 2020 // Carson, California
Dear Rhys,
I don’t participate much in conversations about what churches should and shouldn’t do at a given moment. They’re rarely productive, and I generally tend to just try and support those making good decisions while stepping away from the others, hoping to incrementally make them less visible.
I did see an idea on Twitter that struck a chord, though.
Covid is a revealing what the Church is about.
Some Churches: "How do we deliver an excellent product that people need every week?"
Other Churches: "How do we equip our people for loving their neighbors every week?"
When I think of the way our church has struggled with the technology to make stuff streamable, but has really engaged its task force of deacons and elders in calling people to make sure they’re okay, it indicates to me that we’re more of the latter, and that’s a good thing.
I wonder if now that churches really can’t rely on theatrics anymore, they can’t simply lean on good branding, a trendy looking crowd, and aesthetics, they’ll be much more noticed for their substance, their content, and their heart.
I hope this freedom from distraction does a net good to believers and seekers who need substance more than style.
#88 TRANSFER TO BAKERSFIELD
28 March 2020 // Bakersfield, California
Dear Rhys,
Today we transferred our quarantine site from Carson to Bakersfield, we’ll be staying with your Nana and Papa.
I have mixed feelings about the switch, partly because we were really comfortable in Carson and it felt like that site was working well. I loved that you got to spend some time with my aunts and that you were able to give them some joy at a time that is really difficult for them. I felt relatively safe- minus that one precarious grocery run.
However, being in Bakersfield and having Nana and Papa around will help your mom and I get work done while you’re in the mix. It’s also an area less impacted by the virus and hopefully that means we’re safer.
Plus, depending on how long this goes, there might be a lot of time for different changes in scenery.
You’ve probably never been part of a global quarantine before. Don’t be surprised that there’s a learning curve. It’s my rookie year too.
#89 TRIKAFTA
29 March 2020 // Bakersfield, California
Here’s a shortcut to making better choices:
Ask yourself, if a million other people also did this what I’m doing, what would the world be like?
This doesn’t apply only to quarantine. Thinking like this makes me want to let less food go to waste. To try and support more ethical businesses even if it costs an extra buck. To be more mindful of my carbon footprint.
Turns out, it’s a pretty good way to think in a pandemic.
I’ve heard a lot of people asking around if one activity or another is a good or bad idea during a pandemic. Going on a hike? Jogging on deserted streets? Shooting a basketball by yourself in the park pretending to beat a team of Monstars?
No shame in not knowing, since you probably haven’t quarantined with the entire world before. And different places have different degrees of restriction, though it’s hard to be too cautious.
If a million people did their cardio in isolation, on empty streets, at staggered times, that’d probably be fine. If a million people showed up at the trailhead, that’s not so good.
If a million people ordered food from a struggling mom and pop Chinese restaurant and sent one extra meal to hospital workers... that’d be real amazing.
This is a mental shortcut so there are of course exceptions and times when this doesn’t apply. But hey, it’s so easy to overlook how our small choices impact plenty of other people. This way of thinking helps!
#90 My Quarantine Buddy
30 March 2020 // Bakersfield, California
What a month.
In a parallel universe, where there’s not a pandemic happening, we would’ve just finished back-to-back weekends in Palm Springs and Sacramento with friends. We’d be getting ready for a big Earth Day event in Texas and then spending my birthday week in New Orleans. In the background I’d be putting together plans for a summer trip to Africa- and I’ve been really itching to get back out into the field.
Instead, we’ve been living in guest rooms at my aunts’ and my in-laws’.
It’s totally legit to be disappointed at all the cancelled things. More than ever I’d love to be in a big house with friends on a weekend getaway, or on an African adventure. But I simultaneously find myself so thankful for a lot of things.
I’m thankful that Deanna and I have fairly resilient jobs that we’re still passionate about. I’m thankful they’ve given us the flexibility to adapt to remote work.
I’m thankful that I get to spend so much time with Rhys at a really fun age. If I’ve got to be quarantined, might as well be with the people I love most.
I’m thankful for aunts and in-laws who have generously had us over while our San Diego living situation was less than ideal.
I’m thankful we started taking things seriously pretty early. It’s still a scary time, but those advanced precautions have made it a lot less scary.
I’m thankful for trivia night on Zoom, Houseparty, new books, Onward, a new season of Kim’s Convenience tonight, and podcast recording. This quarantine would’ve been much harder in the 90s.
Love y’all.
#91 Five Months of Rhys
31 March 2020 // Bakersfield, California
I’m feeling so much appreciation for the healthcare workers of the world right now.
This moment should rightfully challenge our ideas of what careers and societal roles are seen as heroic. We can survive without talk show hosts and athletes and influencers. We’d be totally screwed without people on the frontlines of our health services.
I am completely moved by the selflessness of doctors, nurses, transporters, technicians, food and custodial teams, public health officials, and researchers right now. On the other side of all this, I hope they’re given so much special recognition by our reimagined world.
I’m proud to be from a Filipino family FULL of medics. Doctor dad. Nurse mom. Nurse aunt. Doctor aunt.
I’m thankful for all the healthcare workers who took care of my wife as a kid, long before we met. For the ones in Portland who helped us through a pretty scary infection four years ago. For our OB who helped us successfully navigate a pregnancy with all kinds of complications.
Being a healer is one of the highest callings.