#60 Tablet Drawings
01 March 2021 // San Diego, California
What is grief, if not love persevering?
Eish, Wandavision was a nice escape for several weeks, but after seeing that quote go around pretty widely over the weekend, clearly that line of dialogue struck a chord. It was so similar to a line one of my teammates shared: grief is love with nowhere to go.
What persists after losing somebody? So many things. There are the ideas they left in the world, both the ones they’ve articulated and the things they’ve taught people. The way they saw the world. You know that feeling when you experience something and you know exactly what somebody who isn’t there would say in that moment? A very powerful and hard-to-pin-down replica of the way that person saw the world enters your brain, creating that experience. That’s especially amazing when it’s somebody who had a unique and beautiful way of seeing the world. It’s amazing the ways we permanently change each other in the moments we spend together.
At least half of everyone I know has had to say goodbye to somebody special in the past 3-4 months. Those kinds of losses don’t need to define you, but they do shape you, and they’re worth spending time with.
#61 African-Caribbean Market
02 March 2021 // San Diego, California
The question I’ve been wondering about for a year now has been: where will I go when I can finally travel again?
It looks like all the countries that seemed like good candidates a year ago are off the table.
New Zealand, which I actively imagined as our 2021 trip is likely closed for another year. So is Australia, our first ticketed flight to get cancelled last year.
Bali doesn’t feel right at the moment either, another cancelled plan.
Since most of Africa will be slow in getting the vaccine, travel to Congo or Burundi seems both unwise and unlikely.
Then there’s Japan, which seems to anticipate visitors for the rescheduled Olympics, but I’m just not sure this is our year for that. So where now?
There are prospective plans for projects in Colombia and Mexico. But for a place to go with Rhys and Deanna?
I’ve been eyeballing spots that seem doable, but mostly these are total shots in the dark right now: Poland, Budapest, Romania, Albania, Montenegro, Suriname, Nicaragua, Costa Rica, Ireland. Georgia.
#62 Travel Reads
03 March 2021 // San Diego, California
There's now a mRNA vaccine in the works for malaria.
I think we’re just on the cusp of seeing some of the incredible things mRNA can do. I’m all the more amazed at what went into my arm last weekend.
#63 tHE rAMEN aISLE
04 March 2021 // San Diego, California
A few weeks ago we spent a few days in this cozy studio cabin at Lake Gregory and it was exactly what we needed at the time.
I recently saw this announcement from an illustrator who was going to put her illustration career on the back burner to go to culinary school… I think it’s cool that in spite of all her success, she knows there’s something left
One thing I keep thinking about is how life is too short to not go for it. If there’s something that makes you feel alive… think of the moments that make up your life, don’t spend them doing something you don’t want to.
#64 moSS oBSESSION
05 March 2021 // San Diego, California
I remember the first week of going into lockdown. For the first few days things were completely chaotic. I was figuring out if we would need to leave town to go be safer somewhere else. Did we have enough food? Did we have baby supplies? How could we safely make sure we had those things? What about work? Meanwhile, the rest of the world was in a frenzy.
Then in the later part of that week, you know, we had a sense of what we were doing and where we were going to go, but some of the reality of this really bizarre and catastrophic situation was starting to sink in. The big feeling was, what now?
I remember the world outside was so isolated. So quiet. I kept thinking of a number of places I had the chance to travel to, places that seemed to always have a ton of people. Shibuya crossing in Japan. La Galeria del Duomo in Italy. The neighborhood of Hillbrow in South Africa. I thought about the people I’d met from these places. I wondered how they were doing.
Right then, a hummingbird came by our window. A friend of mine who’s really into birds had just shared with me a whole bunch of knowledge about hummingbirds. About the specific hummingbird species native to our area of California and Mexico. I started to realize that I’d been taking this creature for granted that would be such a marvel to the rest of the world.
This might sound kind of weird, but that hummingbird made me think of how in this intense, uncertain moment, the birds remained blissfully unaware and free to carry on with everything as they always do.
And it felt like some kind of reminder that one day, we will too.
#65 oPEN hORIZONS
06 March 2021 // San Diego, California
We were going to watch Raya and the Last Dragon tonight but we ran out of time. So we’ll try again tomorrow. But one of the things that stands out to me is how much all the different landscapes make me eager to get back to destinations like Southeast Asia.
You know how when it’s like your first day on a job or at school or in a new place how time just seems to slow down? Like you notice everything? That’s what I feel when I travel. I’m away from everything familiar and it forces you to slow down and take in all of it. All your senses flip on. I feel really, really alive.
And then there’s the whole discovery thing. Engaging the wild mix of cultures that come together in a hostel lobby. It’s about hearing new perspectives. You never realize how many of your own ideas and beliefs are just assumptions you adopt and never question, until you go to a place that just sees things differently.
#66 Presidio Green
07 March 2021 // San Diego, California
I love it when you’re only a couple dozen pages into a new book and you already know it’s going to be real good.
I’m reading The Overstory- well, I’m just getting started and I’m already excited at the tease of how we’re all connected.
#67 STUMPED SLOPE
08 March 2021 // San Diego, California
Have you heard of Eunice Newton Foote?
An Irish researcher named John Tyndall often gets credited with being the father of climate research by writing about heat trapping gases- but three years earlier, in 1856, Foote published her own paper: Circumstances Affecting the Heat of Sun’s Rays. Foote went on to participate in Seneca Falls, leaving an impact as both a scientist and a suffragette.
I learned about Foote from a recent read, All We Can Save and as it’s writers Ayana Elizabeth Johnson and Katharine K Wilkinson put it, “suppressing the climate leadership and participation of girls-half the world’s brainpower and change-making might sets us up for failure.”
Today, women are the frontlines of climate change and climate action.
In many low-income countries, the tasks of feeding a family, securing water, and tending to a farm often fall on women. This is where the impacts of climate are most visible and severe.
On the flip side, research supports the notion that women outperform men in adopting climate friendly habits and supporting environmental legislation. The concept of a multiplier effect when investing in empowering women is apparent in environmental actions.
Two things worth doing on #InternationalWomensDay this year —
1️⃣ My intern Camryn wrote a FANTASTIC article on women and climate change. It’s the first link in my bio and worth checking out.
2️⃣ Look into some of the stats around gender equality and income and how moms in particular have been affected by the pandemic... and if that feels discouraging, dig into the ideas surrounding a #marshallplanformoms - The multiplier effect of investing in women isn’t just an African development thing!
#68 Ready to Speak
09 March 2021 // San Diego, California
I kid you not, I have 117 tabs open right now.
It’s been that kind of week. I think that might be the work-from-home equivalent of having your check engine light on.
So, as I shut some tabs, here’s a brain dump of things:
I’m deep into learning about regenerative ocean farming right now and I love the concept of kelp as a climate solution. I’m loving the work of @greenwaveorg
I’m still processing all the losses and premature endings over the past year, while also feeling excited to get my second shot this weekend and the prospect of various parts of life coming back bit by bit. Grief and optimism can coexist, but it’s a weird feeling.
The big question for over a year has been ‘where are you going once you can travel again?’ and I think the most honest answer to that question is that it’ll probably be determined by a bunch of factors way outside of my control. I expect the answer to be a bit of a surprise.
I want to start running again. Finding the time to do so when the childcare juggle already keeps our days full is going to be a challenge. But I know it’s time.
I planned to get a tattoo before my birthday last year, but that was just before everything shut down. I think it’s about time for me to start looking for artists!
Okay… we’re down to 38 tabs.
#69 bEIGNET tURNS 6
10 March 2021 // San Diego, California
Five years ago this week we brought home this muppet faced doughnut, and what a wild time it’s been since then.
She’s lived six years and every one of those years has pitched a curveball. The year she kept me company when grad school seemed to drag on. The year we uprooted her from Oregon to California. The year we moved twice in a month and found out we were pregnant. And then there’s the mystery of her first year, and the chaos of her most recent year with us home all the time as the world goes haywire.
Mostly I think that we lucked out with her as a big puppy sister for Rhys. He loves attempting to climb her like a boulder and she puts up with it. Those two are a duo. We always wanted a dog who was great with really little kids. We saw plenty of promising signs from Beignet early on, but it’s been confirmed day after day this past year.
Happy birthday, Beignet. We’ll be getting out of the house more often this year.
#70 SD Lagoon
11 March 2021 // San Diego, California
March 11 of last year started off simple enough. I had a staff retreat in the day, so I dropped Rhys off at my mom’s. While on my way back to pick him up, it all went down. Tom Hanks. The Utah Jazz. The shutting of every border.
A year into this tragic, absurd, and extremely trying time, I would’ve expected to feel a lot of heavy things. Disappointment in the ableism and disregard for the most vulnerable that I saw from so many people and institutions I had trusted. Grief at all that was lost. Those feelings are legit, and they’re around somewhere, but they aren’t dominant today like I might’ve thought.
Instead…
I remember the feeling of resolve I felt that night. The person I love most has fought to breathe her whole life, and now the most global threat was a highly transmissible respiratory illness. As disappointing as it was to give up all the plans we had for the year, the sheer determination to keep her safe, to keep my family safe took over.
A year later… we’ve done it. And I feel that reminder that with God’s grace and the love of community, we are capable of hard things.
On one hand, it’s easy to get stuck on the feeling of losing a year of our lives due to this major disruption. But I think it’s simultaneously true that we invested a year doing the best we could to save as many lives as we could.
Fittingly, I get my second shot this weekend. I am looking forward to reengaging so many things that have been out of reach the past year with a whole new, much deeper sense of appreciation.
#71 Striped Treasureflower
12 March 2021 // San Diego, California
Almost a year ago, when lockdown was still a novel concept and the dust was just starting to settle, a podcast interview with Rick Steves came my way.
Interesting... I thought. This guy is travel, pretty much. Like, Steves-Europe is probably his real last name. If anyone’s sense of identity is totally upended by now, it’s his.
Instead his interview mostly talked about the simple joys he was finding in the view out his window, wine, and painting. It sounded so emotionally mature and healthy and I realized his gift wasn’t so much all the travel tips he’s known for, but his ability to appreciate. It works in Edmonds, Washington like it works in Europe.
🏔⛰🏕
Among other things, the past year has helped me appreciate so many things in a whole new way while taking less for granted:
The power that affirming words have to bring out the best in people.
Movies and stories that raise the bar for representation.
Healthy boundaries.
The social lives of moss.
People who understand that clarity is kind. Southeast Asian folklore and mythical creatures. Hummingbirds. Explainer videos. Garages. Older folks who know it’s never too late to re-examine a belief or idea. Foreign films. Climate writing. Ecodiscipleship. People who get the difference between peacemaking and peacekeeping. People who stand up for other people. Ancestry. Financial literacy that cares about ethics. The Eastern Sierras. Octavia Butler. Tattoo art. Grief. Seaweed. Starting each morning with music.
🏜🏜🏜
What’s something you’ve learned to appreciate more over the past year?
#72 Con Pane Menu
13 March 2021 // San Diego, California
Caught somebody hacking into my Spotify account currently listening via a web player. It's easy to boot them off and change my password, but having some fun with this queue first:
Jojo– Get Out
Bslick– I caught a hacker
The Blues Brothers– Rubber Biscuit
#73 Dos Doses
14 March 2021 // San Diego, California
As of today, I officially have my second dose of the COVID-19 vaccine. By the end of the month, that should put me at the highest level of resistance possible.
The pandemic took away many things, but among them has been our ability to plan forward. That’s just one of the ways that it’ll be felt long after case rates crash and the outside world is once again open.
That leaves so much mystery around what happens next for us.
How much longer do we stick with our housing situation?
How can we get help with Rhys in a way that’s good for him and that frees us up to have a healthier and more rounded life?
Speaking of health… there’s the whole issue of figuring out if I can get back in shape.
How will I maybe proceed with the larger platform I’ve gained since this all started?
What will work look like over the next year?
Will we go abroad?
Despite all the uncertainty, I’m looking forward to it all. I believe that the things that need to be worked out will work out. Among the lessons the last year has taught me is this: we are capable of doing difficult things.
#74 Shizuoka
15 March 2021 // San Diego, California
A little reminder to whoever needs it the way I do: do your best, but remember that “best” is a moving target.
I like to live with a sense of urgency. Life is too uncertain to not leave it all on the road.
At the same time, what doing your best looks like will differ from one day to the next. There’s a difference between idolizing productivity and living a regenerative life. The latter understands that there are seasons and cycles. The former can put an unkind pressure on us to strive for the same kind of output day after day.
#75 Ballin’ w/ Piecer
16 March 2021 // San Diego, California
Grieving the hate-filled murder of eight precious Asian lives in Atlanta.
I’ve always found anger easier to access compared to grief. I’m learning that there’s a point where the two occur side by side in a moment of sacred rage.
One of the things I love about being Asian-American is that our families are expansive. Any woman of an earlier generation can be my tita. Any man my tito.
When Lulu Wang sees among the victims of the attack the women working home to send money home, to send kids in school, I get that. These are the women who ran so I could walk. Working as women in American hospitals during the Jim Crow Era. Sending money back to the Philippines for younger siblings, like my dad, paving the way for my life to be what it has been.
I wish there was something I could say or do to make it stop. Right away, once and for all. But there’s no healing without grief.
Asian(Am) fam, I love us. Keep excelling and making the world better for each other. My inbox is open if you need encouragement, listening, or grieve and rage.
To everyone else, be kind. The kind of kind that mourns with those who mourn and dismantles racist systems. Stop sharing the killer’s picture, we don’t need that. And if you’d like to make a donation to @apen4ej, @advancingjustice_aajc, @stopaapihate, or @napawf, I’ll match you up to $316
#76 eMPOWERING READS
17 March 2021 // San Diego, California
To my Asian(Am) friends here, did you eat yet? Some of you already know what I mean by that, but I’ll say it two ways for those who don’t. I love you.
I’ve been thinking about the concept of invisibility this week. Steven Yeun says that “sometimes I wonder if the Asian American experience is what it’s like when you’re thinking about everyone else, but no one is thinking about you.” Tung Nguyen calls this the “racism of being made invisible.”
This was supposed to be a celebratory week for Asian-Americans with Yeun, his co-star Youn Yuh-jing, and their movie Minari receiving so many Oscar nominations. Not to mention Nomadland, the Sound of Metal, Mulan, and Over The Moon.
Sometimes you wonder if hate crimes often accompany breakthroughs. After all, some of the most visibly violent days of the year were *backlash* that immediately followed events like the Georgia Senate runoff. There’s a mentality among many that finds security in invisibility, especially among those that have had to uproot to a new place.
I’ve leaned this apparent defense move before. When teaching in schools where there weren’t many Asians, people’s inability to know my background meant the students quickly ran of things to say after asking if I was Bruce Lee. In South Africa, I did not fit into the rigid racial categories of Black, white, Indian, or colored- which kept me away from more challenging encounters there.
But this week reveals that at the end of it all, invisibility is a false friend. It relies on a racial caste system that harms all. Invisibility stands in the way of the things that ultimately keep us the safest: community, getting organized, and just being the best fullest versions of ourselves. When you’ve been invisible for so long and in so many spaces, it so much of what you do opens doors and breaks walls. You can give people their first glimpse at what could be on a stage as high profile as the Oscars, but it can also be in a space as every-day as healthy fatherhood, creativity, sustainable living, or whatever oddly niche passion has your heart.
I’ve never loved being Asian-American more than I do now.
#77 sTEEL coYOTE
18 March 2021 // San Diego, California
With no special affinity for the Miami Heat, Dwayne Wade was my fave active player for a decade. Since he’s been retired, that mantle’s been passed to Dame. Patting myself on the back for taste.
#78 pIECER dRUM tUTORIAL
19 March 2021 // San Diego, California
Speaking up can get messy.
Solidarity is real when it costs you something.
But that’s what a love for one’s neighbor does.
A tip for speaking well to this current moment:
Take a Yes-And approach.
There have been critiques to the phrases “Stop AAPI Hate” and “Hate is a Virus” because of they don’t directly identify white terrorism as the problem. Valid critiques, but these are also the names of Asian-led movements that need the galvanized support more.
#79 Yuma Break
20 March 2021 // Yuma, Arizona
Arizona doesn’t get enough attention for how odd of a state it is.
There’s the desert heat that won’t leave half the state alone, which I would absolutely hate to live in. Then there are the high deserts that get some of the thickest snowfall in the country. I love Flagstaff.
There’s the odd conservative streak that’s really strong in Arizona, which often feels like a misplaced state from the Southern Delta. At the same time, there’s a massive Latino population and some strong tribal nations.
Top it all off with the fact that it hides in California’s shadow, that there’s places like Sedona that offer a vortex for the new agey types, and pro-sports teams that never seem to generate much more than a lukewarm level of interest.
All that said, I’ve enjoyed the past few days I’ve spent here.
#80 Red Rock Rhys
21 March 2021 // Sedona, Arizona
I’m trying to buy every electronic good with the hopes of getting it to last at least five years. So far, my camera is at one and a half years, my computer at two and a half, and my cell phone at a proud five.
With clothes, I’m aiming for ten years. So far I’ve got a sweater and a jacket that clear that benchmark, but I think a lot more is headed in that direction.
I strongly dislike planned obsolescence and the practice of making things to be replaced.
#81 Sedona
22 March 2021 // Sedona, Arizona
In the middle of a difficult week last week:
🔰 I got to connect with a number of friends, Asian and Non-Asian, reaching out to offer community support (and even snack funding!) during a crisis.
🔰 I got to hear from some folks who expressed a deeper appreciation for their Asian roots- including some biracial friends falling in love with an ancestry I didn’t even realize they had until now.
🔰 Thanks to donation matching, we got to send $1000 to a few of my favorite AAPI orgs.
None of this brings back lost lives, but it does remind us that community is how we make it through.
#82 Cathedral Rock
23 March 2021 // Sedona, Arizona
When a community is in crisis,
we must mourn with those who mourn,
and seize the moment to change the system,
to make sure it doesn’t happen again.
Failing to do these things is failed stewardship of our voice, relationships, and influence.
After the Atlanta shooting, there were so many ways people expressed their support:
Venmoing money for takeout
Supporting an AAPI local business
Speaking up online and offline
Checking in with texts, DMs, or calls
Donating to AAPI justice orgs
Attending rallies or vigils
And more
I noticed every time a friend or family member did something like this and received it with love.
I also noticed people’s silence.
Many of us fear speaking up during a pivotal moment because of how others might react.
You may not realize it, but people react to your silence too.
Usually with hurt and a loss of trust.
#83 Snow in Flagstaff
24 March 2021 // Flagstaff, Arizona
At a time when we’re faced with so much human loss, it feels weird to also be really sad about the end of a TV series. But Kim's Convenience was always something a bit more.
For a lot of us, it was finally a chance to see an on-screen world that looked a bit more like our families. That was honest about things like generational divides and microaggressions but never weighed down by it.
I’m not a big TV watcher (though maybe quarantine has shaped that a little) but when I first came upon their first season during a weekend in Canada, it was something. There isn’t much in the show that’s a carbon copy to my life, and yet, the fine details- like the younger characters having a foot in each world, to the diverse and quirky set of customers coming in from all over the globe, to the portrayal of Asian Christianity and my personal fave, Pastor Nina, so much of it was very familiar. It was like suddenly one show had the eyes to see into an overlooked-in-plain-sight, beautiful, goofy, heart filled world.
I’m sad this show ended so suddenly at its peak. I hope to see a lot more of everyone who worked on the show, and like Simu Liu puts it- “amazing things happen when you open the gates and allow more diverse stories to be told.”
#84 Greer
25 March 2021 // Greer, Arizona
Proximity to whiteness.
The model minority myth.
The problem of ‘not seeing color.’
These are important conversations happening, but I don’t want these to be simply buzzwords. They’re stories from lived experiences.
My older family members tell me about driving through the Jim Crow South as Filipinos in the late 50’s. A simple pit stop brought up questions a gas station attendant wouldn’t have thought of before. Whose bathroom do they use? Uncertain, he directs them towards the one labeled white.
Imagine arriving to a new country and being in survival mode. It doesn’t take long to see the country’s norms and rules, written and unwritten, about which groups hold power. As a means of self-protection, you realize your best strategy for survival is to be considered among the dominant group. You do your best to adopt their values, their patterns of speech, their tastes, often losing your own in the process.
Enter a new generation. The kids can’t understand why their parents don’t want them to date somebody darker, or why aunts, uncles seem to be on the giving and receiving end of racism without recognizing the irony. The kids do realize that the lunchbox kimchi, curry, pinakbet, earns them mean comments at school, so they learn to dislike and detach from those parts of their identity. To pretend to not see color.
These kids grow up, raised to succeed in this environment. Their academic success is seen, but in a way that doesn’t so much praise their efforts, but that insists the system is working. They are told that policies to help other disadvantaged groups find more academic success will come at their own expense.
Meanwhile they see their aging parents ridiculed. Abused. Attacked. Attempting to align with the dominant group meant aligning with their system. And it was never a system that loved them. Just one that ranked them. Behind some, ahead of others.
It’s too easy to point to the most visible examples of racism and say “let’s stop this,” without understanding that we all carry assumptions and habits that contribute. It’s why we all have our work to do. The work is systemic and spiritual. It happens at a state level and soul level. It’s both-and.
#85 Papago Rhys
26 March 2021 // Phoenix, Arizona
Paying a visit to Phoenix felt good, and I’m not even too fond of Phoenix.
Like, if I had to live in a U.S. city that’s represented in pro-sports, Phoenix would perhaps be dead last on that list. Like, I don’t like the heat. I don’t think it has a whole lot of personality. And it just feels large and clustery.
But I loved being in Phoenix this week.
I enjoyed Kaizen, the Latin-Japanese restaurant where we ate. Papago park was fun to walk around. I wish we had the chance to visit the George Washington Carver museum.
I think I simply miss exploring places that aren’t familiar. And over the past year, I’ve had very little opportunity to do that. I’m excited that this opportunity is starting to come back. I look forward to what lies ahead.
#86 Phoenix Morning
27 March 2021 // Phoenix, Arizona
On the road back from Phoenix, Deanna and I listened to an episode of the Creative Pep Talk podcast which sparked a pretty great conversation. The podcast was all about decoding your tastes to see how it informs your style. The task was first to identify pieces of art and stories that most resonated with your heart, to take a deeper look to see what they have in common, and to see how that theme intersects with your life. The rest is tactical stuff, like understanding how its creators used those stories to share a message.
I could go on forever thinking of stories and art that seemed to speak to me. The suggestion was to choose six, but narrowing the list was quite difficult.
Big Hero 6 is probably a shoo-in. The Juniper episode of Radiolab is also, even though it doesn’t seem immediately obvious. The song Love Like There’s No Tomorrow. Kim’s Convenience. Dee Gordon’s home run after Jose Fernandez’s death. The movies Boyhood and Arrival.
(That’s already seven, and I’m upset I couldn’t include some more books like Pachinko or A Million Miles in a Thousand Years.)
The strange common thread is that in all these stories there’s death, the threat of death, or some extreme hardship. (Kim’s Convenience might be the exception, but I suspect the challenge of starting a new life as an immigrant might be worth noting). In spite of this, they’re all about characters and people choosing life anyways. And that seems to go hand in hand with my outlook as an Enneagram 7, my fondness for the environment and life in a biological sense, and my own journey of overcoming.
#87 Rhys’ First Swing
28 March 2021 // San Diego, California
I’ve been reading some theories about why there’s so much job switching going on during the pandemic. My favorite theories are these:
1. Facing mortality makes everyone choose purpose over payment.
2. Horrifically fragile economy makes everyone develop backup skills.
3. Fatigue from overwork makes the grass on the side of every fence look greener.
4. Chronic stress at work fractures relationships.
While I don’t have a desire to jump ship from the work I’ve been doing the past four years, I do feel like my relationship with work has evolved. I think I have fewer expectations for work to deliver meaning or purpose. I have a lot of fun with what I do, but by not over-ascribing too much to it, I can better tend to other areas in my life.
Interestingly, I think you can find imbalance by either seeing too much value in work or not enough. This only makes me more in love with the concept of play as the purest form of work.
#88 Time for HMart
29 March 2021 // San Diego, California
Have you seen Raya and the Last Dragon yet?
I remember being pretty pumped about this film when the trailer dropped. So many visual nods to traditional Filipino clothing, weaponry, and other items. But was she actually supposed to be Filipina? She also eats Thai looking food, brandishes an Indonesian sword, and is voiced by a Vietnamese American actress. It’s never clearly stated.
And this ambiguity raises more questions. Is this a positive thing that pushes a pan-Southeast Asian unity? Another lumping of cultures that doesn’t acknowledge their diversity?
The waters that flow through the region both connect and divide, and its national borders don’t tell the full story.
#89 Educated
30 March 2021 // San Diego, California
There was a study conducted recently. People were placed in a room with various colored dots on the ground and told to pick up the blue ones. Slowly and stealthily, the blue dots were removed, leaving only other colors. What did people do in response?
They picked up the dots that looked blue-ish. Deeper purples. Teals and greens.
All that to say, often you find what you’re looking for. Even if that isn’t there.
Similar research was done asking people to identify threatening faces.
The implication of that, especially around policing and racial justice is pretty striking.
The other implication is that we can affect what we see in the world by training ourselves to look for things. Certain patterns that fit a narrative. Nobody is truly unbiased. We all tell ourselves different stories and see the things that fit the mold.
This can be scary, as in, none of us knows what things look like unaltered. But it can also be empowering. We just might have more say in our outlook than we think.
#90 Untamed
31 March 2021 // San Diego, California
International Women’s Month wrapped up this week but the work and the learning never end.
Recently, I got to read my way through three memoirs with a strong throughline of women’s empowerment. Glennon Doyle’s Untamed, Chanel Miller’s Know My Name, and Tara Westover’s Educated all speak of such different life experiences but there are definitely common threads of overcoming trauma, finding one’s voice, and relearning how to live. And it doesn’t hurt that all three are fantastic writers.
The story of Tara Westover growing up in a survivalist religious family with a strong paranoia against the government, public schools, and hospitals, Educated struck me as especially relevant right now. At a time where so many people are being lost to misinformation, it’s a reminder that people can leave, relearn, and find their own way, especially with patient teachers, helpers, and guides.
Untamed was one essay after the next packed full of writing chops I’m frankly jealous of. While it covers an expansive set of things, one of my big takeaways was the value of raising kids in a way that honors their true selves.
Know My Name felt so deeply personal-and it is that sort of book. It only adds to that effect that everything takes place in a younger person’s life in California and that Chanel Miller was a UCSB student around the same time I was. Her integration of the attack that happened to her added nuance to the way I think of victimhood and survivorship.