#275 Mangled Sweet Potato
01 October 2020 // San Diego, California
This year has forced us to do two things we’re not especially comfortable with:💠 Learn how to lament and grieve
💠 Recognize our own vulnerability
American culture doesn’t leave much space for these things. I share that struggle. My knee jerk reaction to sadness or vulnerability is to look for a chaser of good news or silver linings. But my biggest lessons lately have been in these areas. Nothing heals until it is grieved. And grief is an inherently vulnerable act that binds us to each other.
These topics might not seem like the stuff of an *explosive season opener* but I knew they were the ones we had to lead off with for season two of the #GrassrootsPodcast. Here are two of my favorite moments from the episode:
❇️ Kayla Craig graced us with a Liturgy for Big Feelings - Next year, she’ll be releasing a whole book of Liturgies for Parents that I can’t wait for! I have a very special admiration for anyone who takes a world that’s hard enough for adults to process and then asks… well what about the kids?
❇️ Peter Harris is the co-founder of A Rocha - a Christian conservation organization and lament helps him powerfully integrate his faith with his environmental concern. “There are half the number of swifts in the sky today over my village and nesting in my village as there were 20 years ago,” he told me. “What we see in Scripture is God's broken heart about his own creation, in all its dimension. The groaning of creation that Romans talks about.”
He also demonstrated lament and vulnerability by sharing a deeply personal tragedy he’s faced recently.
You can stream our first episode of season two on Apple Podcasts or Spotify now! Link in profile!
#276 Grassroots Season 2
02 October 2020 // San Diego, California
Here are some of the things I learned about lament from my conversation with Peter Harris on my latest episode of the #GrassrootsPodcast
1) Not only does the Christian faith make room for lament… it actually invites an incredible amount of it. Around 70% of the Psalms are songs of Lament.“What we see in Scripture is God's broken heart about his own creation, in all its dimension.”
2) Culturally, the Western world does not leave much room for lament. That includes its faith communities. Think of the ratio of “happy songs” to songs of grief during at the last worship service you attended…. Does it resemble the Psalms?
BUT- lament can be learned.
And it takes a conscious exercise in listening.
3) Lament ≠ Depression.What’s the key difference? Depression is a condition that tends to keep you trapped. On the other hand, lament is a path forward. Once you name the things you’ve lost, the things you grieve, you start to reimagine a world in a new light.
Also, depression is by nature isolating and lament is by nature relational.
#277 Runaround Piece
03 October 2020 // San Diego, California
Sharing our stories is an act that is both inherently powerful and vulnerable.
As we share some of our difficult moments, in ways that are totally true to ourselves and honest, other people who are facing similar struggles or fears are reminded that we aren’t alone.
Vulnerability reminds us of our responsibility to each other.
In adulthood, it’s a little easier to lose sight of our vulnerability. We have a moment of independence. But the bookends of life are our ultimate reminders that at some point or other, we always need other people.
#278 Shelter Island Sister Bell
04 October 2020 // San Diego, California
I’m working on better language around mental health. Refraining from saying “that’s crazy” or “that’s insane.” Avoiding describing anyone as “psycho” or “deranged,” phrases like “normal behavior.” Not using terms like OCD/bipolar out of context.
Some of these things are so habitual, it’s actually tough to break. But it’s worth every effort.
#279 The Kia Niro
05 October 2020 // San Diego, California
We bought a new car. I guess that makes this a big week, since I try to make cars last as long as possible, therefore buying new ones as infrequently as possible. Hopefully that means our signing day was just as monumental as an eclipse… though less cool of course.
#280 Ballots arrived
06 October 2020 // San Diego, California
I vote for my son in the hopes that the world he grows up in is leaps and bounds better than the one he was born into. For my neighbors on the cusp of eviction. For friends in need of healthcare. For a few hundred kids wondering where their parents are. For the hundreds of thousands of kids forced to do active shooter drills. For species facing extinction. And even for the folks I’ve met in African and Caribbean villages… because DC decisions are felt everywhere.
#281 Empty noodle Shop
07 October 2020 // San Diego, California
"The future is dark, with a darkness as much of the womb as of the grave."
–Rebecca Solint, Hope in the Dark
I love this take on hope.
"Hope is not a lottery ticket you can sit on the sofa and clutch, feeling lucky. It is an axe you break down doors with in an emergency."
Also:
"To hope is to give yourself to the future - and that commitment to the future is what makes the present inhabitable."
#282 Gladys and Esteban
08 October 2020 // Vista, California
One of my favorite parts of my work is telling human stories- there are hopeful stories to be found in some of the hardest places to live. And I love helping people get their stories out there!
Usually this means once or twice a year, I’d travel to a remote part of Africa, Latin America, or Asia with cameras, notepads, and maybe even a photo/video team. Unfortunately, that couldn’t happen this year.
🚫🎥😩
But that doesn’t mean that there aren’t still stories to tell. When Gladys and Esteban had a medical emergency, they had to do what so many rural Dominicans are forced to do. Visit a predatory moneylender. “Bloodsuckers,” as Gladys calls them. But thanks to her neighbors banding together, starting community led banking, and investing in her coffee business- things are different these days!
🇩🇴🇩🇴🇩🇴
Even though I couldn’t travel, I was able to team up with some amazing partners to tell their story via video. Our DR-based @plantwpurpose partners helped coordinate the logistics of getting to their village. @hepburncreative & @hlhepburn helped connect us with @primeagenciafotografica - who gathered stunning footage and visuals like you see here. We then worked together to script, edit, and release Hondo Valle.
🌱🌱🌱
We’ll be debuting this short at @plantwpurpose’s virtual event- Planting Hope: Where We Are this week. Registration is totally free and open at the link in my bio. Plus I’ll be sharing a presentation on ethical storytelling, participating in a climate change panel, and going behind the scenes on why communities like Glady’s have been fiercely resilient in spite of this year’s challenges.
#283 Deanna’s 31
09 October 2020 // San Diego, California
Today is @deanna.suzanna’s birthday and... what a year.
This time a year ago, we were trying to figure out how to celebrate whilst very, very pregnant. Since then... SO MUCH has happened. And I’m not just talking about the obvious 2020 doomy type stuff. We became parents! You got your social work license! We had a health related breakthrough!
Of course, hard stuff has happened too. Family. Boundaries. Pandemics. What have you. But between navigating all of it, I couldn’t be more thankful to get to go through it all WITH Deanna. It means the world to take all of these things head on with such a strong, steady, kindhearted partner. Somehow these challenges just keep bringing us closer. I’m so thankful for the values we share, the fun we always manage to have, and the way we’ve got each other’s back above all else.
HBD!
#284 Planting Hope Where We Are
10 October 2020 // Vista, California
Feels weird for me to feel good about a Lakers win, tbh, but...
...it makes things feel more normal...
...Kobe and everything...
...basketball figured out how to do the bubble thing best.
#285 First Stop is Carson
11 October 2020 // Carson, California
With Indigenous People’s Day tomorrow, I keep thinking back to my interview with Carol Bremer Bennet earlier this year:
“I get a question oftentimes, "What should I call you? Should I call you an Indian? Should I call you a Native American? Should I call you indigenous? How do I name you?" I think that in the naming, that is important because that's our identity. The Bible talks about how our names are written in the palm of God. You don't want your ethnic identity to be your name. You want your actual name. So I really try to call people, to see people as individuals because there's such diversity within the Navajo population. I used to be an educator and people would ask me, "Well, what are Navajos students like?" It's like, "Well, they're exactly like any other classroom. You've got the whole spectrum of everybody." God created beautiful diversity throughout every population.”
#286 Rhys’ First Night Camping
12 October 2020 // Morro Bay, California
Happy #IndigenousPeoplesDay - from the Kumeyaay, Chumash, and Umpqua whose lands I’ve lived on, to the Karen, Maasai, Tzotzil, and Lahu whose leaders I’ve worked with... Indigenous communities have helped me better see the beauty of life, creation, and community.
Next week, I have a podcast coming out that featured an interview with Carol Bremer Bennett, a leader from Navajo Nation. (Don’t miss it, subscribe to the #GrassrootsPodcast) She shared a few ways to better honor our Native neighbors:
✊🏾 Names matter. They’re written on the palm of God. Learn the names that each community want to be called by and use them.
✊🏾 Consider the holidays you celebrate. Celebrating Christopher Columbus is quite painful for indigenous people. Turning traditional clothing into a Halloween costume runs parallel to blackface. Thanksgiving is also a time that brings out a lot of racist stereotypes.
✊🏾 Challenge the use of tribal identities as mascots.
✊🏾 Remember that indigenous communities aren’t frozen in time. History is important, but pay attention to present day issues too.
✊🏾 Be an upstander whenever you encounter microaggressions.
#287 Morro Bay Morning
13 October 2020 // Morro Bay, California
Been a bit off the grid the past few days and I’ve been loving it.
I know things are wild and weird right now, but adventure is still important!
#288 Bixby Bridge
14 October 2020 // Big Sur, California
We’ve been out and around our home state of California.
This was Rhys’ first camping trip, and I’m thrilled he did great. We started by visiting the aunts, though, let’s be real, staying with them is the opposite of “roughing it.”
We went on to have lots of picnics from the trunk, watching elephant seals and waves crash.
Night one in Morro Bay was a bit rough. He slept, but after waking up at 1 am he was so stimulated he couldn’t go back to sleep. Nights 2 & 3 were wayyyy better. Eleven hours of sleep in Big Sur and he didn’t mind the cold one bit.
Hard to believe it’s been so long since our last camping trip, but pregnancy + infancy + a pandemic will do that.
#289 Campsite 77
15 October 2020 // Big Sur, California
Y’all... pandemics suck!
Sorry. Just wanted to say something that should be pretty easy to agree with. I don’t really want to have to deal with something like another coronavirus again in my lifetime.
That’s why it was pretty concerning to learn all the ways climate change makes outbreaks more likely. Exposed permafrost. Altered migration of different species. Thinned out rainforests. It’s not good.
But this also means that fighting climate change can help us avoid another pandemic.
🌿🌿🌿
On the latest episode of the #GrassrootsPodcast I just released I talk to:
🌱 Shannon Osaka from Grist about some of the scientific links between climate and virus risk.
🌱 Laura Vargas from the Interfaith Rainforest Initiative in Peru about how we can learn from indigenous communities how to integrate safeguarding our forests with protecting our health.
🌱 Rev. Anna Woofenden who explains how churches can truly fulfill their purpose during a pandemic by serving their most vulnerable neighbors (a refreshing conversation after seeing a lot of American churches do the exact opposite)
I’m especially proud of the caliber of interviewees I had on this episode. Go give them a listen on Spotify/Apple Podcasts/etc.
#290 Goku Conference
16 October 2020 // San Jose, California
Finally met our uncle @dannyyumyum.
We had a Goku conference in our matching Dragonball swag, hit up a pumpkin patch, and played with a lemon. Bom processo!
#291 Tioga Pass
17 October 2020 // Yosemite National Park, California
Acting for therapists in training, and portraying a gay sous chef who picked up a painkiller addiction after a terrible motorcycle accident wasn’t on my 2020 bingo card.
But here we are.
#292 Silver Lake
18 October 2020 // June Lake, California
Looking for us? We’ve been on an adventure!
After having our whole slate of 2020 trips cancelled, we managed to get in a road trip around our home state of California. Between monitoring COVID cases and wildfire containment, park and road closures, getting a new car that could handle the trip, and work stuff, it felt like we really had to fight for this one! But adventure is always worth fighting for.
🏕
California is massive and has so much diverse terrain. Even though I’ve lived here on and off for most of my life, there are still so many corners I haven’t seen, and I enjoyed getting to discover a few of them.
🐿
I typically place a premium on places hard to get to. Often, distance, remoteness, and challenge add to the appeal of a destination. It puts places like Madagascar, Namibia, and Tierra del Fuego on my bucket list. But right now, learning to love what’s local is important for the sake of keeping others healthy, and holding climate change at bay.
Thankfully, there’s a lot around nearby to marvel at.
#293 Alabama Hills
19 October 2020 // Alabama Hills, California
The more I learn about human issues in the Democratic Republic of Congo, the more I realize how deeply connected smartphones are to violence in the region, due to fighting over mining and labor exploitation.
It’s tough, because I really can’t do what I do to help people without a smartphone.
But I can minimize the damage by:
• Getting my current phone to last as long as humanly possible
• Buying a refurbished model when it comes time to replace it
• Trying a factory reset when things stop working properly, rather than rushing to replace
#294 Hiking Malibu
20 October 2020 // Malibu, California
I think I’ve found the definitive best beer. It’s whichever one you happen to be enjoying while your feet are in a river.
#295 Baldy Hills
21 October 2020 // Angeles National Forest, California
Somehow these days everything feels like a series finale except for the fact that it all also feels endless. Large parts of California are still on fire. Virus cases are spiking again. Injustice is suffocating.
🌲🌲🌲
My biggest lifeline these days has been to just focus on the day ahead. I love the phrase “the next right thing.” Seems like such a simple concept but maybe it’s simplicity makes it a bit too easy to overlook its importance.
The thing about the “next right thing?” It can be a completely different thing from one day to the next.
⛺️⛺️⛺️
For me, one day it’s putting pen to paper, figuring out the words to write that can help people process a very difficult thing that just happened.
Another day it’s bringing up a challenging conversation with a loved one that would be easier to avoid.
Some other day it’s spending hours playing MLB The Show- the only way I get to see the Phillies in the playoffs. Never thought I’d be into video games like I’ve been this year, but it’s part of learning how to rest.
Another day it’s putting work and creative projects on the backburner, having fun with Rhys and listening to Tagalog children’s songs together.
And the past few days it’s been pitching our tent in state parks and public lands, cooking gumbo over a pocket stove, and splashing in a cold creek.
It’s not over yet! You can say those words with an exhausted voice or a determined voice, but you’re still here. What’s your next right thing?
#296 Praying Mantis
22 October 2020 // Cerritos, California
I keep seeing trailers for Yellow Rose, and even though it’s in theatres right now, that’s where I can’t be.
The trailer for Raya and the Last Dragon just dropped.
Between that and Shang-Chi, I'm really hoping I get to enjoy a movie theatre in 2021.
#297 Babarao
23 October 2020 // Carson, California
“Listen, your brother’s blood is crying out to me from the ground.”
This week, a whole flurry of movements and uprisings in Africa caught my attention. There is a LOT happening, and in the midst of injustice, I want to be the kind of person who leans in, listens, and responds.
🇳🇬🇳🇦🇨🇩🇨🇲
I made this as a mini guide to a few of the things going on right now, but of course there’s only so much you can fit into one of these posts. Please take the time to follow the hashtags and listen to the folks on the ground directly engaged.
And also, don’t forget that speaking up about these things in whatever way matters:
Just today, Nigeria’s police force announced plans to disband SARS. There is more to be done against police brutality, but international pressure works, and the lack of it is the reason why issues like violence in the Congo can continue for so long.
Amplify:
🇳🇬 #endsarsnow
🇳🇦 #shutitalldown
🇨🇩 #congoisbleeding
🇨🇲 #anglophonecrisis
#298 In California
24 October 2020 // San Diego, California
It’s still mindblowing that Rhys has been here for a year already, and at the same time, it’s weird thinking that he’s only been here for a year.
Parenthood messes with your perception of time. So does a pandemic. And it doesn’t mess up with my perception of time in a simple way like, wow, time is really flying! or Things are moving at a standstill!
It’s very much a large helping of both.
#299 Piecy’s First Haricut
25 October 2020 // San Diego, California
The largest political demographic in the United States is the totally disengaged.
Storytelling, clear communication, and stepping into conversations are so important for reaching some of the untapped potential for change.
#300 Voted: 2020
26 October 2020 // San Diego, California
And there goes the ballot. Bumoto ako.
I remember the first time I ever voted, sharing every single pick pretty publically on MySpace! These days I may be a little more selective and strategic around speaking on different issues, but I still know when I can’t stay silent in good conscience and simply gotta speak from the heart.
🗳🗳🗳
I don’t like how our two party system reduces our creativity towards problem solving. I hope one day we move to something that doesn’t breed division so effectively. But I do like the popular analogy of how voting is more like public transportation than marriage. You don’t need to find your match of destiny. Just the vehicle to get you to the next stop, a little closer to your destination. And hopefully not one charging in the total opposite direction.
I hope we get the change of direction we really need. Between climate and the pandemic, there is real urgency. I don’t have everything figured out, but I do know I’m really tired of how stoked white supremacists and hate groups have been over the past few years. I’m tired of leaders who constantly say inexcusable things and rig systems to zero consequence. I’m tired of how simple, low-hanging opportunities to protect the most vulnerable, like admitting refugees and wearing masks unnecessarily become the sourest sources of debate.
It’s tough to pick the thing that’s made me maddest but right now the answer seems to be the whole batch of kids who’ve seen a whole generation of adults not only fail to reject bullying, bravado, and dishonesty, but actually praise and celebrate it.
Today, hope takes the form of a vote. And while there’s plenty more change needed beyond voting, it’s a very important step that makes much more change possible.
#301 Piecy in a Park
27 October 2020 // San Diego, California
“We don’t really want to get political around here…”
I get the appeal of wanting to stay out of politics. You walk past a TV with a bunch of angry talking heads and think “I really don’t want to sound like that.” You hear your cranky uncle go off on another dinner table and think... yeah, not for me.
But the problem isn’t so much politics, it’s the culture around politics. Striving to be apolitical often seems like a way to be “above the fray” but often enough… it can be just as bad.
The French have this saying that basically translates to: If you don’t want to ‘do’ politics, you’ll be done in by politics.
It makes me think of how in 2012, I campaigned for refugee support in the Midwest- both in rural conservative towns and on progressive campuses. Helping people escaping conflict seemed so widely agreeable. After 2015, something changed. It got “political.” For the refugees themselves? They had no choice. “Political” things determined their survival.
Meanwhile, I hear the phrase “we don’t want to get political” used all the time.
I’ve heard churches use it to explain why they said noting after Charlottesville.
I’ve heard institutions use it to explain why they won’t enforce mask wearing in a pandemic.
When we put being “apolitical” on a pedestal, we really shrink our willingness to love other people.
I’m not saying you need to have a hot take on everything. Or that you need to be rigidly partisan. Or that you need to be an insufferable dinner table guest. Please don’t do that. But challenge the assumption that “staying above politics” is the default course for the pure at heart.
#302 Baby Mango
28 October 2020 // San Diego, California
Election seasons aren't always the most inspiring thing, but I have been moved by seeing people make votes in spite of tremendous odds. This is the third centetarian I've seen wow me with their determination to be heard. (Also, youngins, please vote too!)
#303 On The Phone
29 October 2020 // San Diego, California
Alright. So it’s no big secret that so many of us are kind of tired with how divisive politics are, and I get it.
Like, politics are all about helping each other building systems and solving problems. That takes creativity and one good way to stifle creativity like boiling everything down into two packages and making us pick one or the other.
That said, one really common way I see people handle this is by assuming a position of default centrism. It assumes that the correct position is always a moderate one.
When you do this, you can say things like “yeah, I understand both sides” and seem super wise.
Or you can easily critique the more extreme positions, and seem like the calm, voice of reason.
I want to challenge the idea that defaulting to a moderate position is the right one.
There are two main problems with making the moderate approach our default.
1) It's a moving target. If a moderate position is simply the halfway point between our two political poles, then shifts towards the extreme end up moving the middle as well. Being moderate is based more on popularity of opinions rather than a moral stance.
2) It's not always right. From the abolition of slavery to women's suffrage to Civil Rights. There are many moments in history where the moderate take was the wrong take.
Being able to see both sides is typically a good thing. It’s just no substitute for doing the work and doing the right thing.
#304 Suspicious Bubs
30 October 2020 // San Diego, California
There are two main problems with making the moderate approach our default.
1) It's a moving target. If a moderate position is simply the halfway point between our two political poles, then shifts towards the extreme end up moving the middle as well. Being moderate is based more on popularity of opinions rather than a moral stance.
2) It's not always right. From the abolition of slavery to women's suffrage to Civil Rights. There are many moments in history where the moderate take was the wrong take.
Being able to see both sides is typically a good thing. It’s just no substitute for doing the work and doing the right thing.
#305 A Year of Rhys
31 October 2020 // San Diego, California
Rhys, I tell you this every day and I still can’t tell you enough how much I love being your dad.
I love your combo of curiosity and determination. I love how much you love playing outside. I love seeing you explore the world and seeing you and your mom love each other.