Philippe Lazaro
OCTOBER 2016

Creating change in a world of chaos

Don’t fall for fatalism

It’s been a totally normal, kinda quiet week in the world, huh? No. Of course not. Do such weeks even exist anymore?

It’s challenging to be somebody who works for good in the world when it feels like it’s constantly towards a greater state of chaos.

How do you work for good when it feels like you’re two episodes out from the series finale?

Take a moment.

Breathe.

Go slowly.

I think doing good in a time of chaos requires people to be a bit like that cliche from a sports movie, where the main character takes a breath, slows everything down, and suddenly can hear their inner thoughts over the yells from the crowd.

Watch Now

It’s human and natural to have a wide range of emotional reactions flare up when chaos strikes. Rather than trying to strongarm them, I find it’s helpful to give them a moment to do their thing. Name them.

Are you fearful of what the future holds?

Are you angry at anyone in particular?

Giving these emotions acknowledgement is way better than giving them the steering wheel.

There’s a massive difference between responding to events and reacting to them.

Being reactive tends to keep chaos in circulation. Being responsive helps prevent further harm and invites the wise version of yourself.

Different things seem to be helpful for different people. Time outside always does me good. Don’t discount breathwork. Also, seeing the world through the filter of screens doesn’t seem to help, so keep that in check.

In a loud world, I’d love to be the sort of person who turns the volume down. Who brings it to level where real conversation and connection becomes possible. It’s hard to do that when simply being a participant in the noise.

You don’t need to have a hot take or new angle on everything. Just because you have an online account doesn’t meant you need to be the first to chime in on everything.

Sure there are some things where you know you gotta speak out and use your voice. But the internet isn’t the only place for that and far less effective than what happens around tables.

One of the unfortunate side effects I’m seeing a lot of is that everybody wants to dissect every breaking event. Here’s what this means politically… here’s how this will shift behavior…

In times of uncertainty there’s a ravenous appetite for things that reduce it. So we go to town with polls and surveys and thinkpieces.

So few of us are unwilling to say the most honest phrase:

I don’t know.

The immediacy of the internet has made us unfamiliar with having to wait for information. To wait and see how things will play out.

One of my greatest values, however, remains curiosity. And I define that as a healthy relationship with the unknown.

There’s probably a way in which future projections can help guide us but I see an excessive obsession over predicting the future as a way to be in denial about how none of us really know what it holds.

There’s one form of denial that simply irritates me more than the others though.

Fatalism.

Acting as though the game has been lost when it’s only halftime.

Judging by the amount of ‘we’re so screwed’ posts I’ve seen in recent weeks, fatalism is trending. And I can kind of sympathize with people who lean into it as inoculation against being disappointment in the future.

But fatalism is so toxic that it can often turn into a self fulfilling prophecy.

I’ve been working in climate communications for a good while to have seen oil companies pivot from denying climate change to insisting that it’s too late. The latter message also prevents real action.

Fatalism can bring down the important work being done by changemakers and movements.

I like the way Hank Green put it recently: “The abyss is both undesirable and pretty avoidable. Also, pitching the abyss as inevitable feels like a pro-abyss talking point.”

Sure, worry can be part of an honest response, but fatalism isn’t. Because the honest thing is that none of us actually know how the future goes.

So speaking of the work in front of you, it’s important to remember that every person is inundated with terrible news of things beyond our control. It creates a sense of helplessness. But we aren’t totally helpless, it’s more complex than that.

We don’t have equal amounts of influence in the world. But nobody sits at 0 or 100. You aren’t responsible for the inequity. Just your response.

Find your contribution, something you can keep showing up for bit by bit.

There’s a reason why people who are more closely engaged with solutions (climate, poverty, housing, whatever flavor) tend to be more hopeful than people who keep tabs on those things from the distance. Sure they feel the setbacks personally, but they know the forces working alongside them.

Don’t let the chaos of any given day distract you from what’s important right now: how up for the people and spaces right in front of you.

To adapt a quote from Grace Lee Boggs, everybody keeps trying to move a critical mass when what we most need are critical connections.

Think of all the people you’re glad to have alive right now. The people whose inner resolve you admire. The people you know who problem solve and make everyone’s life worth living. You’re part of that same force.

Do it for your people.

Do it with your people.

Porto With My People

Porto with my people. I’m sure you can tell from the fantastic view of Porto behind us.

What’s better than getting to see one of the world’s most enjoyable cities? Getting to do so with my family, introducing my kids to pastel de nata and the Douro River.

And what’s better than that? Getting to do all that with friends I don’t get to see enough.

Thankful for friends who’ve been cool with some toddlers on their vacay making this sort of thing possible.

Finland

Completely enamored by Finland, sleek architecture, well-functioning trains, chilly air, buttery slices of salmon, playgrounds everywhere, and getting good use out of all my winter gear. This may have been one of the best trips I’ve ever planned, tbh.

A 30 Minute Difference

With all the trips I take, I feel like I should probably be better at calculating time zone differences in my head, but that is absolutely not the case. I’m constantly relying on World Clock, and handmade time tables to make coordinating things a little easier.

One country that made things extra difficult was India, which is not aligned with most of the world in terms of minutes, and sits 30 minutes ahead/behind its neighboring time zones.

A handful of countries have at least partially rejected the standardization of time that ramped up in the 19th century, and interestingly, most of them are in South or Central Asia. Nepal, Sri Lanka, Myanmar, and India, of course.

But go even further back, and India didn’t have any set time zone. Each region or area had its own time zone. A reminder that how we interact with time is very much influenced by our cultural background.

Went Splat

Plus: A shift in how I’m taking on Creative Changemaker

Have you heard that expression along the lines of, if you don’t give your body the rest it needs, it’ll find other, more unpleasant ways of demanding it from you? Usually in the form of sickness or something like that.

I recently had my own experience with that.

It would prove to be a very busy time, too, as getting back from three weeks abroad usually means there are a lot of household chores and work tasks to catch up on. Deanna happened to catch some kind of stomach bug shortly afterwards, plus it was Mothers Day weekend, so on top of all that, I did a lot of time taking care of the kids one-on-three.

By the time Monday came around I was actually glad the weekend was over because things like staff meetings and work tasks I could sit down for felt restful in comparison to running after kids and literally running.

I’ve always had the tendency to pack as much into my day as possible, shortchanging sleep to make it all fit. The fact that I wanted it so badly says a lot.

The next week goes by fairly normally. I’m still behind on my rest quota but at least I’m getting to some rhythm. My next long run comes around, an 18 miler. I decide to prepare for it every way possible. Water bottles and clothes set out the night before. A nice big meal for energy. Proper stretching.

I’m halfway through, which with the initial leg adds up to about 7.5 miles.

And then…

The lake is mostly smooth pavement but not perfectly so. There are plenty of trees around it so the roots will make it so that there are always little cracks and occasional bumps. Compared to the sidewalks of the surrounding neighborhoods though it’s much better.

But all it takes is one bump. At 7.5 miles my right foot hits one off rhythm.

This is the fourth spill I’ve taken while training for this race. Why do I fall this often? I immediately question.

I get up and look down. It doesn’t look good. My right palm is bruised and my left elbow is stinging. But the worst damage is done to my knees. Both are bleeding. The left knee is peeled white and just starting to bleed. I can tell it’s gonna be deep. I call Deanna to meet me at the end of the lake with bandages.

I still have to make it back to the parking lot, which is another 2.5 miles away. I walk for a bit to baby my knees but then realize that’ll simply take forever. So I break into a jog, refusing to look down as I feel my legs getting worse.

Passing by other walkers and runners, I try to shoot them a my-eyes-are-up-here look since my lower legs have a horror movie vibe.

The next several days are a pain. Literally. Who skins their knees like that as an adult? Maybe a skater, but not if you’ve got the knee pads. I invest in spray bandages, which prove to be a very helpful medical innovation. 

Doing anything that requires pants is extremely inconvenient, but what else is new.

I end up skipping my runs for the rest of the week to try and at least get a scab.

When I’m finally able to run again, it’s at a much slower pace. The scab doesn’t bend well with the knee and the awkward feeling adds a whole minute to my splits.

Funny enough I also make the discovery that I have a whole extra week ahead of my race than I anticipated. I decide that this is my sign to make that a bye week. That a two hour nap midday might be more rewarding than a twenty mile run.

The adage of your body demanding rest when you don’t give it at a proper time… that rings true. In the end, I’m glad that the damage was skin-level, albeit pretty deep. But it’s not something that threatens to derail the whole race the way a muscle, bone, or joint injury might.

Between running and improv, I’ve never been more cognizant of how rest is part of any effective preparation process. Not something you want to neglect.

I’ve decided to take one of my favorite creative projects and scale it way, way back.

I’m only going to be doing one Creative Changemaker piece a month.

Creative Changemaker is my recurring video series where I share insights on that overlap between doing creative work and trying to create positive change in the world.

So much about catalyzing change is related to communication, connection, and the stories we tell, and I believe strongly in the essential position of creatives at the helm of any social movement.

Trimming it back was a really tough call. I love the things I’ve shared via the Creative Changemaker series and it felt like there were plenty more ideas in the tank.

I had hopes of establishing it as a hub of resources for people working at that intersection. In my years of doing climate communications work, I know there are plenty of us.

One aspiration was to use that series as a launchpad for more opportunities to speak or do live trainings.

So, why call a pause to something I was really enjoying, that I had hopes to take a little further?

A few reasons, but first and foremost, it wasn’t quite doing what I hoped it would in order to justify the amount of effort I was putting into it.

For a lot of my work, I tend not to care a whole lot about vanity metrics, views, likes, etc. I have the luxury of not needing to rely on those numbers for my income.

Online content also just so happens to be at a spot where achieving numbers seems to be more suppressed and random than ever, not a reflection in the quality of content.

Something about the lecture style of Creative Changemaker made it feel a little more labor intensive than my usual creative content. It’s something I’m passionate about but there just wasn’t as much flow.

I’m scaling it back to one episode a month. I’m also hopeful that this means the one episode I go with is more thought out, more carefully constructed, and more valuable as a resource to others.

One of my most recent videos (not from the series) was in praise of the virtue of Yutori. The Japanese concept of creating a spacious life. One of the things I’ve been really needing a lot has been that space. Especially as travel, my storytelling day job, parenting, and running have been picking up steam.

In order to have a life of Yutori, it takes a willingness to part with things- even good things- that simply make life a little too suffocated.

I thought it was about time to perhaps end the whole project and call it a good run, but I recalled one episode in particular from a few months ago.

A Creative Trim

The main idea there was that creatives should regularly take inventory of all the things that take all their time and energy, all their commitments and see which are proving worthwhile and which aren’t.

I also suggest trimming where I can.

That episode reminded me of past times I had to cut back on projects of mine even when I really wanted them to work out and it made me realize a trend.

When you give things their proper breathing room, they flourish. You aren’t struggling to keep up with a self-imposed sense of urgency. Instead you can remember that the things you spend your time doing are things you enjoy. Things you chose.

I'm glad that episode reminded me that the choice isn’t always between continuing versus stopping. Sometimes making an adjustment is the best option. I do think scaling back at this moment is the right move. It’ll take pressure off my life, allow me to improve the quality of the project, and perhaps those two things will ultimately be helpful in having it go where I had hoped.

I’m looking forward to creating more episodes with a higher production value. With content that is a bit more rehearsed and polished, and written to address some of the questions and concerns in my niche world of social-good storytelling that I hear the most. I also hope to get a new backdrop for recording soon enough!

Sisu

One of my favorite Finnish concepts is the idea of Sisu.

It’s one of those cool foreign words with no direct English equivalent, but it’s an inner resolve that accepts the fact that hardship is a part of life and leans into a person’s inner resilience to still push through.

I suppose the closest word we have is fortitude. But people don’t really use that a whole lot.

I admire the way this is valued in Finland, from not letting the cold be a deterrent to chosing to walk or bike when possible.

I embrace doing difficult things for “fun.” Marathon training, traveling with small children, etc. But I think the insight we gain from “fun” challenges also help us be better prepared for the not-so-fun, inevitable hardships that come with being alive.

Highlights from Finland

FINLAND! I recently did a little father-son trip with Rhys. thought I’d have a good time visiting, but didn’t expect it to snag a spot among my favorite countries so easily.

Some takeaways:

🇫🇮 Being in the cold and very, very far north makes my soul sing.

🇫🇮 The lady at the second stall on the left inside Vanha Kauphalli will hook you up with the best salmon cuts you’ve ever had.

🇫🇮 Finns are extremely nice! And also pretty reserved. Getting to interact a bit with Asian and African migrant communities was a great touchpoint.

🇫🇮 Reindeer are pretty great creatures

🇫🇮 Moominmania is alive and well. And the 2019 comeback series has a rad soundtrack

9th Anniversary

Nine years ago, I gave her a ring and a new last name. (A fun one, with the letter Z in the middle!)

Ever since then, we’ve shared big adventures, cozy nights in, dozens of shows we’ve watched to completion, Airdropped photos of the kids after they fall asleep, parenting challenges, parenting wins, career wins, pints of ice cream that don’t last very long, and the wildness of life.

It’s been about as wild as nine years could possibly get, but I’d do each of them all over again with you!

Endurance Takes Creativity

Marathon lessons on creativity

I’ve been training for a marathon for the better part of a year, but now that it’s a month away, I’m at the part of training where it starts to take over my life. When training calls for an 18+ mile run, it means you’re needing to set aside a whole day. Hours to run, and anticipating slugging about the rest of the day with whatever little energy remains.

This stage of training has been a surprisingly good source of creative lessons. Or maybe that shouldn’t be too surprising. When you’ve passed the half-marathon mark and it looks like the mileage ahead of you is greater than your energy reserves, you get real creative with what you tell yourself and where you let your mind go to push on ahead.

Endurance has been the theme of everything lately, at least for me, and endurance is essential to the work of a Creative Changemaker. 

If you set yourself up to tackle major issues, to reverse generational problems, then you should accept that the change you seek isn’t an overnight solution. It’ll take the long work of shifting perceptions and moving tides, and that calls for endurance from you.

When the work is a slog, progress feels slow, and the road ahead only reminds you of how much distance there is between where you are and the finish line, the creative act of reframing your situation, redefining success, and renewing your commitment to keep moving ahead, you discover the reminders you need the most.

As I’ve been honing the art of endurance, here are the choices I’ve found to be the most helpful.

1) Find a Mantra, Find that Motivation

You may have already heard this from people who run distances, but a popular way to find energy mid-race is to find a mantra to repeat to yourself. A string of words that bring the motivation back.

Sometimes they’re things like self-affirmations. Sometimes they’re reminders to yourself of why you’re doing this.

Funny enough they don’t always even need to make sense.

I’ve heard from one runner who repeats to himself, “I love you, Krista,” thinking of his daughter along the way. It’s reasonable, until he shares that “I love you, Julie,” his other daughter, doesn’t quite work for some reason, even though he really does love Julie too. It feels forced, he says. It’s evidence that mantras don’t exactly play to logic and our reasoning skills.

A phrase I often find myself repeating is “run to win.” That definitely doesn’t make sense as I don’t have the speed that makes winning plausible. But it keeps me going.

I do think of where mantras come from, Eastern spiritual practices designed to help ground people in meditation or focus. They aren’t meant to be nuggets of information to mull over, they’re meant to pull people out of their thoughts and towards center.

When I’m running and I say “run to win” despite maybe finishing 60th, it’s more so to resettle my thoughts and give my own motivation a little push.

I think there’s a relationship between this dynamic and the way art, music, stories and other more abstract expressions can play a role in catalyzing social change. There’s more to creating change than rationalizing our way to a more just world. Providing the rallying cries and beats to march to is critical work.

2) Identify Wins Along the Way

A marathon, or even a long-distance training run, is such a long stretch that it’s not always helpful to be thinking of the finish line and or as a 26.2 mile clump. Instead, it often helps to think of it as a run made up of a bunch of different runs put together.

Running 42 kilometers is a lot. But maybe you can run five. Then five more. Then do that all again. At that point you’re just about halfway to a marathon, and eventually, start with five turns into just five more.

I do my running at a lake that has an almost an even five mile perimeter. It makes calculating distances really easy. A twenty mile run calls for four laps around, and so I’ll have different aims for each of those laps.

Typically the first lap is all about getting into a good groove. The first couple miles might be where I need to shake off some soreness that will no longer be felt by mile five. The priority there is feeling good.

My second time around the lake is typically where I try to focus on going faster. I’ll still have enough energy to turn up my speed. On later laps, it’ll be much harder to tap into.

My third time around I typically try and enter a more meditative state. Maybe that’s euphorically running to some music or allowing my mind to process something more in-depth. Anyways, it’s a time where I might rely more on diverted thinking in order to not notice my energy dip.

The times I take a fourth lap, I’d be so energy drained that there can be only one goal. Finishing. Getting to the other side. The end of a marathon is typically more of a willpower test than a physical one, so that’s where it gets put into practice.

Taking on each portion of a very long run a little bit differently reminds me of the “how do you eat an elephant proverb?” Spoiler: The answer is one bite at a time and has not-so-much to do with the consumption of protected species. The idea is that dividing up a major endeavor into smaller, attainable wins and areas of focus can make it a lot more manageable.

Identify your wins, string a few of them together, and you’ll wind up making some pretty good progress towards the ultimate goal.

3) Love the Process

Finally, if there’s any sort of big task, challenge, or endeavor that you wish to commit to, then I can think of no better reminder than to simply love the process.

You can’t be simply driven by visions of your big finish. For starters, the finish represents such a small sliver of the overall experience, and by the time you get there, by definition, it’s all over.

On top of that, some of us are working towards aims that will outlive us. For many of us, the work will always be there. There will always be more miles ahead. 

"Do not be afraid of work that has no end,”  Avot de Rabbi Natan said once, and to me, pursuits like racial justice, health equity, and the end of poverty fall into that camp. You have to fall in love with the act of showing up each day.

One of the best ways to one day run 26.2 miles is to become the sort of person who learns how to love running one mile. Who can’t wait for the opportunity to run a mile. The kind who runs one and can’t wait to run another. When you have that going for you, going the distance becomes natural.

Endurance is a creative act. It’s full of reframing and learning to see yourself and your work in a different way. Doing work to solve problems and reverse cycles of inequity is a marathon of sorts. It’s why Nipsey Hussle was always saying “the marathon continues” and he was right. Creative Changemakers are bound to run into instances where giving up seems appealing, and when the next steps feel daunting. But if you develop these instincts, you’ll know how to call on to extra endurance when the situation requires it.

A Sacredness to Every Walk

If there’s one thing I feel a sense of urgency about, it’s the importance of recognizing the sacredness of every walk of life, no matter how different they are from my own. No matter how different they might be from what’s familiar.

I think that at least a good portion of the work, when it comes to mending the broken relationships of the world, comes from recovering that outlook.

I specialize in mass communication and movements, yet I’m really feeling the words of Grace Lee Boggs, right now. “In this exquisitely connected world, it’s never a question of critical mass. It’s always about critical connections.”

So many parts of the world are on fire, but in some ways that makes it simultaneously important to speak to the good that’s out there. To remember that we all have radically different starting blocks that color what we see. And to meet each other with openness.

Poverty is not a trait

Ethical storytelling is one of the topics I get most passionate about, so when I got the invite to be on a podcast to talk about it for a whole episode, of course I leapt to it.

Ethical storytelling can be complicated at times. If you put an honest effort into it, you’re bound to run into some situations where a clear cut answer doesn’t present itself. But I think a big part of ethical storytelling is to leave room for this reality. To embrace the complexity, and to know that you’re going to get some things wrong.

That willingness to own your missteps and to leave room to keep learning is one of the most important pieces.

Guyana is Booming

It doesn’t seem like a lot of people are paying attention to what is probably the most rapidly changing country in the world… Guyana.

In 2022 it had the world’s biggest economic growth by a long shot and that trajectory continues.

That growth has been driven by the massive discovery of oil reserves a few years ago.

Guyana seems like an interesting country for this to happen to. It’s legacy has been as a strong ecotourism destination and biodiversity bed.

A lot of things in the country have greatly improved in recent years, but there are also a lot of new questions that have emerged.

Some Dad Things

In Fatherhood and Full-Fledged Summer Mode

The past couple weeks have totally had me in a groove with dad life. The shift to summer has brought about later nights out with the kids, movies in the park, beach trips, not to mention my oldest graduating from his daycare center, my youngest potty training, and of course, Fathers’ Day last weekend.

Speaking of Fathers’ Day, Deanna absolutely killed it at making me feel loved. I’m a tough person to sneak surprises by. I can’t help that I was raised on the Boxcar Children and a bunch of detective shows. But she managed to successfully hide a large package somewhere in the house without me knowing. A large package containing an inflatable stand-up paddleboard.

There’s a bit of cheeky irony to the present. A few years ago, we considered getting a pair for each other as a Christmas present. We’re big into the experiences-over-things sort of gift-giving, and while paddleboards are definitely tangible objects, they were also portals to all these adventures in my head. I imagined us deflating them to get into check-in bags, taking them down to Costa Rica, doing some jungle paddleboarding.

Then we found out we were expecting and quickly abandoned those ideas.

To me, the gift felt like a celebration of sorts. Our kids are entering into new phases of childhood and the baby era is pretty much behind us (I’ll feel much more oomph behind saying that once potty training is complete). While having three under five is still a busy, busy life… it’s different than when we used to say three-under-three.

Our kids have successfully joined us for international trips, camping weekends, and other experiences. We can go to restaurants that have a crayons stash. As they’re gaining independence, we’re also getting parts of ourselves back.

For Fathers’ Day, Brad & Kristi Montague did a little strip for the New York Times to tackle the question “What is it like being a dad?” and well, I loved their description.

Vomit, a lot of work, and an adventure…

I’ll be honest, when I first had kids, it felt like the sudden disappearance of the adventures I used to decorate my life with. I can’t justify spending a week climbing a mountain when the kids are in diapers at home with my wife.

When I first became a dad, it was just a few months ahead of the pandemic lockdown, so it was easier to stomach knowing that I wasn’t actually missing out on much. In some ways it was efficient to have my paternity hiatus overlap with the world’s hiatus.

But when the twins were born the world was just starting to open back up. People were adventuring again. Except for me. I felt like I signed an extension to stay at home even more.

At first, I felt self-conscious for feeling this way. It felt selfish to crave backpacking trips. I had always wanted to be a dad and it was even better than I expected. The kids were absolutely worth it all. But I realized I sought adventure because it overflows from some of the truest parts of me. The part that wants to learn, to be challenged, to experience, and to be immersed in the textures of life.

Adventures are exhilarating, exhausting, terrific, terrifying, and leave you feeling the deepest gratitude.

But wait… couldn’t that be said about fatherhood? (It could! Brad said it!)

Sunday afternoon, we took the paddleboard out for a test drive… test float? Test paddle.

Anyways, we brought it out to our favorite hidden beach nook, and after I made sure it was in working order, I gave each of the kids a turn riding the board. The water was choppy and colder so we didn’t stay particularly long, but on each of them I recognized the facial expression that pops up whenever you’re engaged in a new, unfamiliar activity and all senses are flipped on.

Adventure.

These days, I’m no longer inclined to think of adventure and fatherhood as such a either-or binary. Fatherhood is a perfect application of everything I’ve learned from backpacking, travel, and exploring.

Endurance.

You’ve got this.

Pay attention.

Don’t take it for granted.

And it’s not like my life is at all deprived of any adventure these days. If anything, I wouldn’t mind things slowing down a bit. It’s been my most travel-heavy year, and I’ve gotten the gift of taking the kids along on a few of those journeys. I’ve seen my twins run through Portuguese plazas. I’ve seen my oldest wake up on a train as it pulled into the Arctic Circle. The best adventures are the ones you share with your favorite people.

In the long run, they’ve only amplified the spirit of adventure in my life.

A few more random notes from dad life:

I just finished Jonathan Haidt’s The Anxious Generation which basically argues that today’s kids are suffering as a result of more phones and less play. It’s compelling, and while my own upbringing has made me sensitive to all the ways restricting stuff only makes it more alluring, I do find the arguments against early intros to smartphones and social media solid. Plus, the things you gain by encouraging more real play are so alluring.

“When in doubt just get them out,” has been a helpful dad mantra more often than not. When I recently had to do a solo weekend with two of my kids, I made the decision to go with no screen time and to double down on the parks and playground visit. It seemed like a sacrifice to give up those moments of relief where I could just get them entertained for a little bit, but in the long run, they were in such a good state after all the time outside I think I had an even easier time with them than anticipated. 

The one thing I would do differently with screen time is hold off the introduction to YouTube. There are way too many people making weird “mental crack” for kids. There’s a lot of good stuff too, but it’s so easy to get derailed from that to the weird stuff.

Its not even all bad, necessarily, but for a while one of my kids loved a channel made by some midwestern family of their kid testing toys he was sent for free. It was essentially a commercial.

I eventually created a new rule. “Loud” shows can be played for 6 minutes, “Medium” for 12, and “Chill” for 20. That actually has worked quite well.

A word of appreciation for:

Reggie Jackson

ICYMI… Major League Baseball hosted a special series at Rickwood Field in Birmingham, Alabama, to celebrate the Negro Leagues. What was supposed to be a celebratory series between the Cardinals and Giants was taken to the next level after Willie Mays passed earlier in the week. The tone was still mostly celebratory, and in my opinion, the stories of the Negro League ballplayers should be celebrated. Whenever I’m in Kansas City next, I’m making a beeline for that museum. But with that approach, you do run the risk of presenting a sanitized version of history that overlooks the true adversity Black baseball players faced not terribly long ago. (You can even find clips of Ryan Howard talking about being pulled over, or Torii Hunter sharing why he’d never play in Boston for real recent history.) As part of the celebration, FOX Sports invited baseball legend Reggie Jackson for an on air interview, and I think he caught people by surprise with his candidness about what he faced. It wasn’t easy, but it was important.

Last Trips Booked

I just booked the last of my 2024 travels, barring some major surprises, and I’m excited. Excited both to be back in Southeast Asia later this year and excited to have a good long stretch afterwards of being at home.

This has shaped up to be my most travel heavy year in over a decade. Maybe ever, depending on how you look at it.

I love it, and I don’t take it for granted how big of a privilege it is to see all the places I get to set foot. The experiences I enjoy are once in a lifetime, except I’m fortunate to have a few of them a year.

I recently talked with a friend who went through a health scare where suddenly a bunch of dreams and ideas for adventures were things he couldn’t even think of anymore. That makes me thankful for my tendency not to delay acting on most wild ideas, knowing that the years aren’t promised.

But I’ve also developed a taste for some of the things I get to do at home when I have longer stretches in one place. Real simple things, like housework and more elaborate meals and being able to say yes to more invitations knowing that it’s not another week where I should be getting ready or recovering from a trip.

All that to say, rather than seeing these two sides of my life in competition with one another, I’ve started thinking, how lucky! I get to order from both menus.

This Coffee Hits Different

Some day I’m gonna have to make a list of the most memorable cups of coffee I’ve had in my life but I know that the ceremonial coffee in Ethiopia would definitely claim a spot.

Coffee in Ethiopia is a triple threat:

First, it’s the birthplace of coffee. There are legends surrounding its origin but as far as people can tell it’s rooted in the reality that Ethiopia is the first known place to harvest and brew coffee like we know now.

The whole process of drinking coffee is a multi sensory experience. The aroma matters as much as the taste, and the process of roasting and pouring is as elevated as it gets.

And finally, it’s straight up tasty.

Anxious Collaborators, Michael Jordan, and You

Have you ever been in this situation?

You’re working on a project with another person and throughout the process it becomes clear that they have high anxiety about the outcome of your work. It gets to the point where it almost feels like they’re expecting things to go wrong. They ask questions, but not the helpful, clarifying kind. More like the urgent, panicked kind.

It’s a bit insulting, isn’t it? Or maybe it’s just me. But in a few circumstances I’ve been in the position of working with someone who expresses so much anxiety about the project that it’s hard not to feel like it’s a vote of no confidence.

A lot of these ideas came up during my time outside on a recent camping trip. For our family, it was our first camping trip in nearly two years, as our youngest kids are finally back at a good age for camping weekends. Here’s the micro-adventure in vlog form.

Lately, I’ve been more aware that I tend to take this to heart, and it’s not a great feeling. I know that growing up I often struggled with feeling a bit underestimated and so every time I had to pair up with an anxious collaborator it wasn’t a pleasant experience. I was especially annoyed whenever the person’s anxiety didn’t come to me directly and I found out in roundabout ways that my partner lacked confidence.

I’m thankful I’ve done a bit of the work to know that this is something I’m a big more sensitive to. I’m thankful to have some inklings about where that comes from. I know that I was especially prone to being insulted by the anxiety of others when I was younger, less experienced, and I constantly felt the need to prove myself.

Now that I know I’m sensitive to this, I can work on being less reactive to it.

The thing that’s helped me take this less personally is recognizing that some people are simply above average when it comes to anxiety. It often takes the form of behaviors like verbally expressing doubt, perfectionism, and micromanagement. That scrutiny you get is most likely due to the other person. Not you.

An analogy I use sometimes: Imagine being on a basketball team with Michael Jordan and a bunch of scrubs. Let’s just say that on the court, it’s you, your anxious collaborator, MJ. Rounding out the team are Wayne Knight of Seinfeld fame, and Bill Murray. It’s a partial Space Jam reference and your overanxious collaborator has the ball.

His feet stop. He’s gotta pass.

He scans the court. Who does he go to?

In his right mind, the choice is obvious. Gotta go with the GOAT.

In all likelihood he does.

But remember that anxiety is not a logical actor. So even though he passes to Mike, a whole bunch of second guessing kicks in.

If you’re Michael Jordan in this scenario it’s probably pretty reasonable to feel insulted in this scenario. Heck, if you’re Patrick Beverly you should be insulted. None of the alternatives are ballers.

But you gotta not do what MJ so famously admits to doing in The Last Dance.

Don’t take it personally.

In general, across a whole bunch of different areas in life, it gets way easier to not be thrown off by other people’s commentary or feedback if you keep in mind the fact that most of it reflects their inner state more than your own. Of course, words and feels are all real, and so this is always easier said than done, but letting the awareness sink in that this is part of human nature tends to be a big help.

It also invites you to reconsider the times and ways you express your own doubts about certain things and whether those approaches might be a bit insulting to others. I am a big believer that a lot of times, the main thing it takes to get a person to blossom is a simple, clear demonstration that somebody believes in them and their ability. A belief that they belong.

Regardless of how skilled or accomplished a person might be, so many people constantly struggle with that question of whether or not they belong. Sometimes it takes the form of impostor syndrome or just old school self-doubt. Whatever it is, it’s helpful to remember that having somebody’s back doesn’t always mean coddling or double checking what they do. Sometimes it looks like demonstrating trust.

I’ve found it strangely reassuring to remember that most people are anxious about themselves, their work, and how it will be received. This is so widely the case that people’s thoughts are primarily turned inward rather than outward when it comes to criticism and judgment. I’ve found this tendency to be freeing, knowing that people are their own harshest critic. People may extend their own self-criticism your way if you happen to be collaborating on something together.

I think I’ve gotten to a much better spot when it comes to receiving the anxiety-laden thoughts of somebody I’m working with. On one hand, my job is always simply to do the best I can and to remember that the thoughts and feelings of others are usually out of my hands. On the other hand, if there’s something within my power that can help somebody through those concerns, why not?

Learning how to let go of taking things too personally invites a whole lot of freedom. It’s a much better spot to create from, and it can help you respond to anxious collaborators with more empathy and calm, rather than defensiveness and reactiveness.