Love the process.
It’s really all about the process, but it’s easy to get fixated on the outcome. Learn how to treat love and life and work a bit more like play. Make having fun a priority, and you’ll be surprised at how much this improves your outcome. (But also, watch old clips of Ken Griffey Jr. dominating baseball while looking like he’s having more fun than anybody. It’s kinda like that.)
Plant trees to offset your carbon footprint.
The planet really needs some love, planting trees is an insanely effective solution, and it’s really affordable for even the average person. Go carbon positive with your travel, energy use, and diet.
Don’t half-ass things.
As much as possible, avoid situations where you can’t jump in enthusiastically. If something doesn’t deserve your deep engagement, it likely doesn’t deserve your shallow attention either. The rule “you get out what you put in” applies to a very large percentage of life.
Eat fewer meals alone.
Science backs up how helpful this is. Studies show that the biggest single factor for unhappiness is regularly eating meals alone. Find someone to share your lunch break with. Have regular dinner parties. Think of every meal as an opportunity to share a moment.
Align yourself with humble leaders.
Find people who acknowledge their shortcomings, who freely say “I’m sorry,” “I was wrong,” and “I owe others credit.” Learn from them.
Be consistent with your generosity.
If you believe in a cause, or feel fired up about something you want to change in the world, find an organization you can get behind and support them monthly. Actually subscribe. A modest, steady, monthly gift is way more valuable to a good organization in the long run than a wildly successful viral campaign.
Reject the default setting.
Living by a “default setting” means letting somebody else’s idea of normal shape things in our life. Instead, do a deep examination of what your actual values are and craft a life that’s in shape with that.
Whenever you write, try to make these two things your top priority: being clear and being helpful.
Usually, they go hand in hand.
Receive criticism and praise graciously.
Don’t pass the blame, and own up to your mistakes. If the critique is unwarranted, learn how to hear it without internalizing it. When you receive praise, share the credit with somebody else who helped you. (There’s always somebody who helped!)
Curate wonder.
Use bookmarks to save the tweets, posts, and quotes that really make you think. Write down a collection of ideas that change the way you think. Collect these as you encounter them and go back to them. And every now and then, just make a list of things that make your heart happy. This exercise is a bit like mapping the genome of your human soul, and if nothing else, the practice of collecting these and going over them will be a big mood boost.
If you want to get better at something, do it consistently!
Want to write better? Write every day. You’ll make a lot of work you aren’t too proud of, but because you keep showing up, you’ll also produce some gems. And even the duds won’t be a waste, because they help you sharpen your skills.
Think of your attention as a currency, and spend it wisely.
Are you tired of how much press a politician is getting for something stupid they said? Oftentimes, outrage only gets them even more coverage. Instead, give an attention boost to artists, difference makers, and elders who are much more deserving. (Side note, this is totally true on social media, where the quality of your experience hinges on who you follow. Curate a feed that makes you better!)
Learn how to be good at conflict.
Appreciate conflict. Literally, you can’t have a story without conflict, so don’t expect an interesting life without a little adversity. Learn how to have healthy conflicts. Challenge actions rather than people. Use “I” statements. Make your goal understanding the other person, rather than running them over. At the same time…
Debate less and ask more.
You can learn from anybody. Approach people you have differences with by asking sincere questions and curiosity. The people with the richest insight are often the most curious. Those who seem to have all the answers know a lot less than they think.
Promote positivity, but beware of toxic positivity.
There is a big difference between being the type of person who chooses to look away from human suffering by getting lost in feel-good memes, and the type of person who learns how to find hope in the hard places. Learn to be the latter.
When you create, aim for connection rather than originality.
Originality is a myth. Creativity is less about originality and more about giving people tools to access something they already know, believe, or feel deep down.
Identify 150-200 people that you can help with your life.
Especially when the world feels overwhelming. The news gives us a look at problems that affect 8 billion people. But, Dunbar’s Number suggests we were socially evolved for a tribal setting of 150-200 people. Trying to change the world will always feel unbearable, and it can distract us from our opportunity to make a world of difference for 150-200 people.
Appreciate the Enneagram.
It’s not a science, but a language. As a language, it’ll give you tools to understand and communicate your inner life.
Understand the purpose of adverse emotions.
We experience fear to help keep us safe. We experience anger because we have an innate sense of justice. We experience sadness because things in our life have value. These emotions aren’t pleasant, but they aren’t bad. A full life makes room for each of these.
Whenever you travel, find a local to show you around.
Don’t know anybody in the area? See if you can find a friend-of-a-friend. A person showing you what they think is noteworthy is infinitely more interesting than a packaged tour.
Keep learning.
School is one way to learn, but it is far from the only way. Most of the practical knowledge I use daily comes to me from podcasts, books, even Twitter accounts I follow. And of course, travel encounters and meaningful conversations. You can use YouTube or Skillshare to teach yourself so many things. Keep investing in yourself.
Diversify your reading list.
By gender. Race. Ability. Orientation. Class. In fact, diversify everything you consume. Watch more international films. Listen to music not in English.
Develop your personal brand*
*But don’t overcomplicate this. This basically means, be clear at showing other people how you’re able to help them.
Know what “enough” looks like for you.
Given your situation, identify how much money you’d need to live well in terms of generosity, food, shelter, health needs, fun, travel, etc. Identify a number you’d be able to live off of, and a number that’s a little more ideal. You might be surprised how ordinary that number looks. As you approach that amount, money no longer makes as many decisions for you.
Always be a rookie.
Try to always have some endeavor in your life where you’re a total beginner. The open, humble mindset of a beginner is a valuable, elusive thing.
Learn how to interpret data.
Data may be good evidence, but remember that it needs some context. Also consider the shortcomings of a study and what it isn’t able to tell you. It’s less about being a numbers whiz and learning how to think critically.
Radically commit to believe the best in other people.
You might not be right all the time, but you will be right frequently. More importantly, you’ll be more likely to act compassionately. Look for the most charitable explanations of other people’s behaviors, especially when you don’t understand them. Refuse to simply accept the explanation that someone is being dumb or evil.
Take pictures more mindfully, then get them printed.
Now that photography has gotten extremely accessible, it’s easy to wind up with a large collection of mindlessly taken photos that you hardly ever look at. The practice of curating helps you remember your life. Having them printed out makes it more likely for you to appreciate those moments.
Be wise about staying informed.
Understand what drives media outlets to choose the stories they choose. After you take in a news story or analysis, ask yourself if you actually learned something new and valuable or if you simply feel angry or anxious. If the latter is true, what you saw was entertainment disguised as news.
Learn how to live with both urgency and patience.
Life is short, so don’t waste time. At the same time, there are no shortcuts to the best things in life. I can’t really explain how urgency and patience seem like opposites but are both necessary ingredients in a good life, but I do think maturity looks like growing in both directions.