This is usually my favorite part of the year. I love the end of one year and the beginning of another. I love year-end recaps of all kinds, from DJ Earworm’s mashups to Google’s Year in Search. I love being able to dream pretty big about the following year and just speculate about where it might take me. I love making lists. I’m a very future-oriented person, often to a fault.
This year has been a weird one, and that applies to these things, too. For most of the year, I’ve been very reserved about making plans. There were points where planning ahead felt like denial or arrogance. But also, planning ahead felt scary. What if they get all ruined again?
But lately, that’s started to shift. I’ve again felt more and more like looking ahead. To 2021, sure, but also to the vast stretch of future beyond that.
Sometimes I think about my 22-year-old self, just finishing school with a large amount of desire to see various parts of the world, to be a part of solving various problems, and to tell stories that share that wonder with other people. And when I think of the years in between then and now, so many of those things happened! Not always in the way I expected, but the big picture worked out. And it all started with a little boldness to dream and anticipate.
I started making a list… an actual spreadsheet called dream projects. All the things I want to explore, stories I want to tell, and the places it would require me to go. I want to make mini-docs about baobab trees, mezcal, and shopping mall culture in Southeast Asian countries. I want to find the perfect bowl of pho and to do an extended bike trip in Germany. And writing this all down honestly felt right and like the weirdest spiritual discipline that I can’t explain. But it felt like a bit like being a dream-filled 22 year old again.
If that pattern even remotely repeats itself, there’s a lot to look forward to. And even if not, the anticipation itself is a process to enjoy.