#305 Evening Ember
01 November 2021 // San Diego, California
‘Ello from a couple of Blueys and a Mama Kangaroo! Or maybe I’m Bluey’s dad… that works too. He’s my dadspiration. Either way, we kept it heaps Australian this year 🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺
This wraps up one pretty loaded month! It began with a baby shower, ended with a virtual baby shower-birthday party-Halloween filled weekend, and also included @deanna.suzanna’s birthday, a Plant With Purpose gala, and my half marathon.
This weekend was such a bizarre blend of heavy and light, and also assembling nursery furniture, keeping tabs on a climate conference all the way in Scotland, and making a fish cracker cake.
While Rhys turned two, it also hit me that his childhood isn’t just an 18-year lump sum of Rhys, but constantly saying bye to a younger version and meeting a new older version and it’s always bittersweet. I also spent the day before at a friend’s memorial service, and though it should’ve been heavy, it was also overwhelmingly joyful- bringing together a community she cultivated.
What a high-contrast reminder to bask in the sunlight of each day and to look at the stars a little bit before bed, too.
From here on out, we have no further plans. We don’t even have the ability to make plans, other than to be ready for these twins the moment they decide it’s show time.
The ride moves fast, especially so some months, but it’s hard to do better than spending your days doing stuff that matters with people you love.
#306 COP Commentary
02 November 2021 // San Diego, California
Being solution-focused is a necessity in our climate crisis, and we hope that solutions remain a priority for everyone involved—whether in Glasgow or in local communities around the world. At the same time, our core principle remains as important as ever: we need to see the people we work with as partners, not projects. We urge those in the position of high-level decision making to take this approach as well. When it comes to climate change, ecosystem restoration, or carbon offsetting, the communities most affected should be given a leading role in furthering solutions.
Abuses happen when we overlook the importance of seeing people as partners and instead treat them, and their land, as projects. We need to learn from the past and the fraught history of harm caused by the commoditization of people, their land, and its resources. We must avoid making these same mistakes again, even under the noble banner of healing our planet.
#307 Mar’s Persimmon
03 November 2021 // Vista, California
I’ve been working on climate related things for about five years now, and when it’s something you talk about everyday it’s easy not to notice some of the ways your thinking evolves over time and gains nuances.
One of those ever evolving nuances is how we talk about the connection between individual responsibility and the need for systemic change. Being a climate puritan might give you reasons to not feel so guilty, but it won’t do much to actually help the problem. On the other hand, completely ignoring your own individual efforts isn’t right either.
I could go on and on about this topic and I’m sure over time I will. But I figure it’ll be easier to share some of my booknotes, because Katharine Hayhoe and Sami Grover have written some good stuff that’s helped me process these ideas. And Michelle Nijhuis’ Beloved Beasts book was a great reminder that these conversations are often complex- and that can be seen in the history of conservation. I highly recommend all three books!
#308 Patio Set
04 November 2021 // San Diego, California
For a while my love for travel and concern for climate have always seemed a bit at odds, especially for the obvious reason that it takes gas to fly or drive places and there’s not really a way around it.
I’ve always noted that this wasn’t low hanging fruit for me. There are a lot of other climate friendly changes I could make in other areas, while offsetting my flights to at least mitigate some of the damage.
But today I saw an article about an electric plane in development, and that looked real exciting to me.
These interests aren’t actually in conflict as much as they seem. I love places. I want to see as many of them as I can, while protecting them for the people that live there. And I hope they’re able to coexist nicely still in the future.
#309 Treat Yo Self
05 November 2021 // San Diego, California
A few weeks ago, the night after running my half marathon, I found myself walking on a bridge across the Rio Grande on a perfectly temperate night in New Mexico just admiring the feeling of being somewhere less familiar, taking in the trees that grew alongside the river.
It brought back all the good feelings that come with being in a new setting and having all your senses turned on.
I love that feeling of new places. I love the freedom of exploring them. And I love getting to push myself to take on challenges like races, climbs, and travel checklists.
I love my regular life too, and while I think it’s a good thing to keep mixing stuff up, being a dad and doing work I love is nothing I feel I have to escape from. But side quests that fill my bucket helps me be the best version of myself throughout the main storyline. They’ve gotten harder to fit in the past couple years, and it’ll probably get even more challenging for a little while, but it’s always worth the effort.
#310 Pregnancy
06 November 2021 // San Diego, California
Eternals was such a fun movie experience… reminded me of how much I like history when told from a less Eurocentric POV.
What I liked:
+ Storytelling was a superpower
+ Scenes in Babylon, Tenochitlan, Amazonia
+ Lollywood/Bollywood Kumail
+ Gemma
Not so much:
+ A character dies kinda early on that I would’ve loved to see romp about the MCU for a long time to come
#311 Pregnant With Twins
07 November 2021 // La Jolla, California
A Prayer for COP26
God who made the earth with joy,
Remind us of the beauty of all you’ve made,
So we can steward it with care
So we can recognize what’s at stake through our stewardship,
So we can be drawn to you in awe and wonder.
Remind us that You have given us an abundance,
So we can stop living in scarcity,
So we can follow your model of generosity,
So we can cultivate every good thing you’ve given.
God who hears the cries of the vulnerable,
Be close to those who are suffering,
Having barely enough to eat,
Having to consider leaving a homeland,
Having to face the earliest consequences of our destructive habits.
Be close to those who are anxious,
Having to face the prospect of an uncertain future,
Having to bear the emotional toll of others’ carelessness
Having to abandon the comfort of a familiar world.
God of justice,
Restore order to a sweltering earth.
Bring about your upside-down way.
Bring our air, soil, and water to health.
Bring our systems out of greed and invasive growth.
Restore the relationships between neighbors and nations,
Bring those forgotten about into our sights,
Bring those high in power to humility,
Bring our hearts to a soft space to be made new.
God who gives us creativity and wisdom,
Stay alongside us as we respond to a crisis.
Call us out of the broken systems we’ve accepted as normal.
Call us out of the unjust consequences we’ve imagined to be inevitable.
Call us towards Your pattern where Love gives life.
Stay alongside us as we dream up a different path.
Call us to hear the moral clarity of our young ones,
Call us to hear the wisdom of our elders and those who’ve gone before.
Call us to do it all in Your Spirit of Love.
#312 Babies in the Circle
08 November 2021 // San Diego, California
If I can sum up what it’s been like to lean into the climate policy discussions happening at both a national and global level, it’s this: Lots of activity, not much action.
Yes, an infrastructure bill passed, but it’s climate provisions won’t do much without their counterparts in a reconciliation bill.
Yes, COP26 is happening, but the most ambitious commitments are structured in a way that largely echoes past goals that weren’t met at all.
But it’s not over.
Policy and governance alone don’t hold all of the keys to climate action, but they hold the keys that make it a whole lot more effective when each of us use ours. It’s easy to think that calls for climate action go unheard, and I get why it feels that way, but applying pressure works. Not perfectly, but I doubt some of the most effective pieces of climate policy would exist without the people-pressure built up over the past decade.
Applying pressure will look different for different people, but everybody’s got some lever they can pull. Do it for what you love about living.
#313 Piecer at the Baby Shower
09 November 2021 // San Diego, California
One of the odd mental images I have of what happens after you die is watching over a replay of your whole life on a big screen. I think more often than not, this mental image gets promoted by strictly controlling religious bodies as a scare tactic of sorts, but I honestly would welcome a replay like that so much.
Maybe it speaks to privilege, or my own particular fortunes, or just the fact that I’m largely at peace with all the past chapters in my life- even the not-so-great ones I look back on with a bit of pride over what I’ve been able to get through. Quite often, I get hit with a strong enough wave of nostalgia that I think getting to relive the late 2000s, my mid twenties, and perhaps the chapter I’m currently living would be sweet.
Of course, I’d also hope that somebody really great would do the soundtrack. Would I only be able to choose from deceased artists?
#314 Commentary
10 November 2021 // San Diego, California
I love this guy so much and we’ve been getting so much personality lately. It feels like the moment we moved houses he went from having just a handful of favorite words to becoming a total chatterbox and storyteller.
We’re all excited for the twins to get here and for Rhys to be a big brother. I know he’ll be fantastic at it and at least three times a day he asks for the Daniel Tiger book about being a big bro. At the same time, I know a chapter is coming to a close. I love this dude AND I miss the littler guy I used to be able to tuck under my arm like a rugby ball.
Rhys’ baby stage came at a pretty chaotic time for the world, and at a time of so much personal growth and evolution for us. But the quiet moments of trying to stretch out a few more minutes of sleep cradling him on the couch, of watching Bluey and Tagalog baby songs together, of putting work on pause to romp around a park, of Washington and Arizona, or of long neighborhood walks meant everything.
#315 Mostra Front
11 November 2021 // San Diego, California
You know how Vonnegut said something like, you need to be able to stop and say if this isn’t nice, I don’t know what is? Had that moment multiple times today.
In the morning, while helping the kiddo with breakfast, I had some old songwriter jams from high school stuck in my head. So I started bumping them for us.
Midday, I planned to go for a run, but it wound up being about 90° then. Deanna suggested I try a swim instead, which was an absolute perfect suggestion.
After dinner, I got to hang out 1:1 with my boy on our back porch on a fairly clear night. We’re further from the city and get a much better view of the stars. I put on a HONNE mix on Spotify and started blowing bubbles. He was thrilled every single one of them.
The satisfaction on his face when watching them was the actual best. I kept thinking… this is one of the best things I’ll get to do with my life. I can visit 100 countries, star in a Marvel flick, and win a Senate seat and that would still be the case. This is the best.
Oh, and the new episode of Invasion tonight absolutely slapped. The whole series has thus far slapped.
#316 Narration
12 November 2021 // San Diego, California
You know about kare kare? It’s one of my favorite Filipino comfort foods- a peanut butter oxtail stew.
One of my favorite restaurants in town did a special release of kare kare pot pie, but SADLY, they were all sold out by the time I got there.
Then I remembered, I’m a pretty decent pie maker!
Here’s my shot at Kari Kari pie.
#317 Empower PT
13 November 2021 // San Diego, California
Taylor Swift really took things from, Ugh, I have to do it all over again to Ooh, I GET to do it all over again. There’s a lot of creative opportunity in just remixing your past self.
#318 The Best Ice Cream
14 November 2021 // San Diego, California
Every time I show up to a zoom call: you’re still here!!!
I feel that way too. When I found out we were having twins, on top of a bunch of other variables, I expected an early arrival, clearing my calendar as far ahead as October. But here we are, looking like we’ll actually get all the way to our due date.
Maybe by posting this I’m jinxing that, but Deanna wouldn’t mind if that’s the case.
There are two people I love more than I’d ever imagined. One of them just showed up a little over two years ago, and now, that population is about to double.
I think of how Rhys is my guy, and how much I love seeing him do what he does and how willing I am to fight for him. Then I think about how there are going to be these two others that I love like that, but also in a way that’s very much unique to them.
If love is a guiding principle, then I guess one of the things worth noting is that it isn’t zero-sum. It’s abundant. There’s always room to expand without being stretched thin. It’s one of the best invisible things in life!
#319 uNDER dECK fiLMING
15 November 2021 // San Diego, California
YouTube will be like ‘Living in Joplin, MO on $80K a year… HOW DO THEY DO IT?’ when the median income over there is like $25,000.
#320 bIG bUBBLE
16 November 2021 // San Diego, California
There’s one other important way to build better norms on social media and that’s to balance out the power the social media giants have with the power of the public through better legislation.
I think discussions around social media regulations are important to consider when it comes to voting and public policy.
All of this is so new that you don’t really see this as a main feature in any candidate or party’s platform or list of priorities, but when you think about the percentage of time people spend on social media, the amount of influence it has over our behaviors, and the power and wealth of these companies, perhaps it should.
Every now and then, some lawmakers will call Facebook or Twitter execs to Congress to testify, and the way some of our congresspeople ask their questions is kind of revealing about their lack of media literacy.
Increasingly, I want the people representing me to have a better understanding of how these platforms work. And though there are a lot of complex questions about the role of government in all of this, I feel better about a balance of power rather than having everything concentrated in the boardroom of the social media giants.
#321 mvp bLEND
17 November 2021 // San Diego, California
There were two things I always knew I wanted out of life. The first was that I knew I wanted to do work that helped people. More specifically, I wanted to do work that helped make life more bearable for the people in our world who had it the hardest- those marginalized, forgotten about, or otherwise abused. Early on in life, I ran into people who seemed to come alive as they fought for the rights and well-being of other people. It gave me a clear image of what it looked like to be guided by purpose.
My other desire was to not get stuck doing the same thing every day. I’ve always been mesmerized with how big and full of curious things the world seemed, and it seemed like that vastness was an invitation to explore as much as possible. This clashed greatly with the typical image of a career- being hyper focused on just one small area of comfort and expertise and doing that for decades and decades until time runs out.
Both of these desires came from a recognition that life was short, fast-moving, fragile, and sacred.
#322 pREMIERE eDITS
18 November 2021 // San Diego, California
Yo, congrats to MVP Shohei Ohtani! Absolute, unanimous face of baseball.
#323 oN sOCIAL
19 November 2021 // San Diego, California
Overnight we had a false alarm of going into labor. But what a mental trip to go from thinking I might be a dad of three by the end of the weekend to trying to sneak in one more nap. These last few days are quite the roller coaster.
#324 Breakfast Laundry
20 November 2021 // San Diego, California
How do you respond to an injustice you saw coming the whole time?
“Not surprised. Disappointed and upset. But not at all surprised.”
That’s a sentiment I’ve found myself echoing each time upsetting news happens. The verdict in Kenosha. The relative inaction from COP26 in Glasgow. The unraveling of Haiti, Ethiopia, or Afghanistan.
These are all heavy and troubling, but if you paid enough attention beforehand the signs were always there. To paraphrase a Trevor Noah quip, Rittenhouse’s judge might as well have adopted him midway through the trial.
But I’ve been curious about my response- to anticipate bitter news ahead of time in order to soften its blow. I don’t doubt that it’s a coping strategy, but it seems at odds with the fact that I’m generally a hopeful person and I’ve been wondering if this learned response is beneficial, detrimental, or if it just is what it is. Oddly, the biggest reason something like the IPCC report didn’t sting too badly is that it largely anthologized thousands of reports I’ve seen over the years.
On one hand, I don’t ever want to lose sight of the truth that a better world is possible and that things don’t need to remain as they are. On the other, I think there’s wisdom in not expecting that better world to be delivered by the same systems who brought it to this point. There’s a maturity in being deliberate with your trust.
I don’t want to be cynical, nor do I want to be naive. But the most cynical idea might be the one that says these are your only two options.
I’ve come to accept that my reactions aren’t at odds with hope, and they more accurately reflect where my hope sits. It certainly isn’t in courts and conferences, though I think justice eventually remakes those things too.
One side of me is a wholehearted idealist. The other side is a strategic pragmatist. And I think I can do my part the best when those two sides play together.
#325 Waterbuck
21 November 2021 // San Diego, California
Have you heard the story about how at one of the first movies ever, the sight of a train on screen moving towards the viewer was so vivid and unfamiliar that the crowd ran out in a panic?
That story is probably an urban legend. But I think it’s also a pretty good metaphor of how we respond to new technologies. We recognize their power and feel a bit of fear, but often, that fear is over something totally different than the actual threat.
I think we’re roughly around that same stage with social media.
Most of us can probably name all the ways social media threatens to make our world a worse place. But very rarely do I hear of ways people are counteracting those concerns other than staying off of it all together. The abstinence approach can be a fine personal habit, but the reality is that social media is here to stay, and it’s also valuable and important to figure out how to live with it.
Here are a few tips:
📲Partake mindfully. To assume social media is all bad is way too reductionistic, but it’s important to have the consciousness of when you’re not getting what you really want from it.
📲Share your work/follow your faves on multiple platforms so you aren’t dependent on a single entity.
📲Use your own site to showcase your work, and don’t rely on a social network as a portfolio.
📲Connect with people via an email newsletter and return the favor by signing up for others.
📲Consider social media literacy an increasing prerequisite for being an effective public servant.
#326 Walker Yellow
22 November 2021 // San Diego, California
Not gonna lie, yesterday was probably my toughest single day of parenting yet. I told Deanna it was probably a top fiver, then she asked me if I could think of anything that came close.
Rhys got hand-foot-mouth disease, which… even the name of that virus makes ya cringe. Thankfully it’s contagion to adults is pretty rare and it just needs to run it’s course, hopefully before the twins show up. We did have a false alarm over the weekend, though, so who knows?
Rhys is a fighter, though this thing is painful! Not much interest in food, naps, or play yesterday, just lots of telling me “mouth hurts.” 🥺 Pobrecito.
Anyways, this feed is about to have lots of sweet baby stuff, so capturing these kinds of moments too so it’s not good vibes only, but all of the real honest vibes. And as a reminder that you make it to the end of these days, fall asleep to watching travel YouTubers on the couch before even getting to open the can of cheap Korean beer, and it ends up being the deepest, sweetest, most well earned sleep you can imagine.
#327 Brazilian Candies
23 November 2021 // San Diego, California
Lots of folks saying Mary Shelley was first sci-fi writer in 1818, but I bet we’re missing the real answer by limiting our searches to N. America/Europe.
India’s Rigveda (1500 BCE) has space travel.
Syria’s True History (C200) has aliens.
Japan’s Urashimo Taro (720) brings in time travel.
#328 MNGO Stop
24 November 2021 // San Diego, California
When I think of stuff I want to pass on to my kids, I don’t think in terms of ambitions or accomplishments, but values. And I really hope each of them develop a strong sense of curiosity.
This year has affirmed, curiosity is an incredible guide.
#329 Piecer Towing
25 November 2021 // San Diego, California
This week has been quite a handful, including Rhys bouncing back from being sick and three trips to labor and delivery and being sent home each time.
I think we might as well get used to a pretty high baseline level of chaos. But there’s nobody else I’d rather ride all these oncoming waves with.
I’m constantly amazed with @deanna.suzanna
At what her body can do- pregnancies are a bit more complicated for us, and yet here we are at at the very end of a full term of a twin pregnancy with 1-in-500-million odds. (Really, I’ll explain later).
At how good of a mom she is- Rhys has been through a lot lately and that’s caused us to have to huddle up more and brainstorm how to help him navigate big feelings and changes in the best ways we can. She has such good insight into knowing what he needs and what sits underneath certain behaviors and is totally natural at it.
At how much fun we have together- in spite of it all, still cracking jokes and being ourselves. Nobody else I’d rather walk into this madness with.
Our kids won the mom lottery, and I’m the luckiest of all. Sorry, Ben Folds.
#330 Meanley Stoop
26 November 2021 // San Diego, California
A discounted item usually means that someone’s getting a little bit less for the work they put in or the resources used to make it.
Always worth wondering who eats that loss and what makes it possible.
#331 Play Complex
27 November 2021 // San Diego, California
Today turned out to be one of the sweetest days I’ve had with Rhys. We got to play outside a good bit, take a walk around the complex, watch Pogo, Ben, and Jelly, and even trek to the store to get cookie dough to bake.
This week has been LONG and not necessarily the final note of this chapter of our lives that I was hoping for but at least that day was pure sweetness and a lot of quality time with Rhys.
Next week we become a family of five.
#332 Last Night as an Only
28 November 2021 // San Diego, California
After one false alarm after another, our twins will officially be here tomorrow.
Raise a glass to the four of us
Tomorrow there’ll be more of us
#333 Juniper & Kai
29 November 2021 // San Diego, California
I’ve said that our pregnancy came at 1-in-500-million odds. That’s not hyperbole. That’s the actual figure I found in some medical journals about our particular kind of twin pregnancy.
And that’s all on top of the many, many ways that our lives as parents have already overcome a lot of odds.
I made a new video highlighting the last few weeks of pregnancy and our anticipation of Kai and Juniper’s arrivals. Pretty much everything in this video already feels like it happened a decade ago.
There are so many words that could describe my past week. Astonishing. Terrifying. Exhausting. But there’s one word that really sums up how I’ve felt at the end of it: grateful.
#334 Twin Dad
30 November 2021 // San Diego, California
Yesterday was of course, an amazing and beautiful day. It also happened to be the most terrifying day of my life.
The scary part didn’t last too long, but shortly after being transferred to our hospital room, Deanna started hemorrhaging. Thankfully the doctors were able to respond effectively, but one of my earliest memories of the twins will be of being pretty paralyzed, having a hard time breathing, holding one in each arm. I’m not sure if what that was was a full panic attack, but it was a nightmare.
At the end of the day though, both the highest high and scariest low lead to the same response: immense gratitude.