Closing out #AAPIHeritageMonth in 2021 is like...
I’ve written, read, and reflected more on being Asian American I’m over the past few months than at any other point in my life. Partly because of all the global events, but also because of where I’m at in my own personal life.
It wasn’t always like this for me. In high school I didn’t want to be one of the Asians who seemed to only hang out with the other Asians. Even though my college must’ve had like 6-7 different variations of AAPI or Filipino American clubs, I wasn’t interested.
See, I’d always had the tendency to see my life as a story, and in most of the stories I was exposed to, the Asian characters were usually side roles. Comedic relief in a rom com. The tech specialist in a sci-fi novel. The wise sage in the fantasy. On screen and such, being Asian was already unique enough that writers often didn’t bother to add in more depth. And it wasn’t just in movies where this happened. From my observation, we were often specialists. Valued for a specific skill like medicine or programming. But rarely invited into decision-making, leadership roles.
I didn’t want to be a side character in my own life, so I downplayed.
It took years of disconnecting my idea of ‘normal’ from whiteness, learning that everybody has a culture that colors the way they see the world, and understanding how these assumptions were engineered to start disassembling them to get to a point where I now love talking about being Asian.
I grew up in a system that made me want to downplay my AAPI heritage for years, and now I get to spend the rest of my life taking that apart. I realize that every time I get to lend my voice, perspectives, or leadership to something, it might just be the visual a younger person needs to know they can set their eyes on something beyond a supporting role.
It’s what we mean by take up space.
Taking Space