And the World Got Smaller

And then the world got very, very small.

Right now, my world has three bedrooms. A population of five, unless you count the dog. It’s been quite the shift from my normal life. I’m an explorer at heart, but suddenly there’s nowhere to go. Maybe the backyard.

Most of my creative work is inspired by travel. My work is connected to places on the other side of the world. Places that are now off limits. But I do believe that your inner creativity can play on any playground. Sometimes restrictions bring out ideas you wouldn’t have had otherwise, like the “rules” on Whose Line.

Since my photography isn’t the most exciting these days, I started this new project. #andtheworldgotsmaller Surprisingly, so much detail goes into trying to make a mini-me in Photoshop. Things I don’t always think about matter. Focus. Light intensity. The direction of shadows. And the finished product is always imperfect but the journey is fun.

These days remind me a bit of my time in South Africa. When I visited in 2013, I stayed in a children’s home in a neighborhood that was unsafe for me to venture into. I didn’t have easy access to transport outside, and I had very limited internet access. What did I do? I read a book every day until I ran out. I wrote and wrote and wrote. I learned new ways to pray and meditate. And I learned and grew so much by exploring inwards. And I really bonded with the kids who I shared a hallway with.

If you’re a creative, you can still create. And if you’re an explorer, you can definitely still explore. The inward journey is limitless.

Five Months of Rhys

They told me that the first year of his life was gonna be the fastest twelve months of my life. They didn’t really account for a global pandemic, but having Rhys at this age gives me something to appreciate about the sudden slow down.

We left our place in San Diego for relatively safer confines in LA and Bakersfield. Rhys handled those strange transitions pretty well. He got to spend a lot of time with his Bakersfield grandparents and his two aunts, one of whom he’s named after. He’s also slowly understanding how his other grandma suddenly exists inside Dad’s phone for right now- along with all the other virtual friends he’s met.

After hitting a little sleep regression, he’s starting to get back on track. He laughs a lot now, mostly at two things: me pretending to eat him like a zombie and Beignet barking at skateboarders.

He also started to try some frozen avocados to help soothe his teeth sprouts and introduce solids. Mixed reviews from him so far, but it’s a big step closer towards guac.

We planned these throwback Phillies duds for baseball’s opening day, but that among other things has been cancelled. Honestly, the best counter to all the disappointments from cancelled things has been simple gratitude. And that gets so much easier when I remember that I now get way more time to hang with this guy.

#worldofrhys

Becoming Better Grownups

THIS BOOK!

If you’re not already following Brad Montague, you’re missing out on one of the internet’s brightest gems. He’s made my world a good deal brighter for years and years- online and IRL.

When Brad announced this book, I was so excited. Becoming Better Grownups was the first book I ever preordered, because I wanted it to launch with a bang. I even had it sent to my office, to make sure it wouldn’t get lost like some packages that go to my house. Then we all went into quarantine and my office shut down. So I ordered a second copy to be sent to my in laws where we’re staying. I’m halfway through after just one day!

It’s a bit unfortunate for a pandemic to mess up this book launch, cancelling promo events and speaking gigs and what not. But in many ways it seems like a book about being better grownups is so needed for this moment.

I can’t help but think about how our world right now looks from a kid’s POV. Even from the POV of the inner child in each of us. The following little nugget puts into words how I’m feeling being a new dad during a global crisis:

Each generation rediscovers for themselves the magic of the world, but also the tragic nature of the world. How they choose to disregard this or engage with it has a lot to do with the grownups around them. Better grownups are joy rebels inviting us to grander views of ourselves and what we can do. They help everyone they come in contact with rise to new ideas of what’s possible. In disagreements, in disasters, in deaths of hamsters, they still find ways to invite people into something beautiful.

Ordinary Great Ones

I hope we never look at people the same way we used to.

In the future, when hospitals no longer feel like war zones, when we no longer scrub down packages before opening them, when we can again stop for a conversation across the samples at Trader Joe’s, when we have places to drive and fly, when kids are back at school, and when we can go out for pho again, I hope we remember how essential the people around us are.

I hope we keep having the highest levels of respect
🏥 for the custodial teams and technicians that keep hospitals clean and running
📬 for the letter carriers and delivery people who help get us what we need
🍞 for the grocery workers and truck drivers who keep our food supply systems running
🚃 for the flight crews, public transit operators, and construction workers who help us go where we need to
👩🏾‍🏫 for the under appreciated teachers who serve our kids every day
🥜 for the farmers and cooks who make sure we don’t get hungry

For the most part, these jobs aren’t often romanticized. When career books talk about finding your dream job, these aren’t often the ones they refer to. But it’s to our disadvantage when we overlook how important these roles are.

The people around the globe who have done the best job of helping me feel hopeful about the world are remarkably ordinary. Moms and dads and farmers and drivers who represent the best of us. ⠀⠀
I hope we always remember how to look at each other like heroes.

April 2020

#92 Beignet in the Kitchen

01 April 2020 // Bakersfield, California

Dear Rhys,

One thing I wouldn’t have anticipated from a global pandemic would be the amount of certain foods I miss.

I should clarify that we’re fortunate enough to not be food insecure. I still have plenty of food stocked up from my bigger grocery run before the outbreak and between Nana and Papa plus the aunts, we’ve been fed extremely well… probably better than we’d be eating ordinarily.

But there are other foods that we just get cut off from.

Seems obvious for me, but I miss pho. Making it at home is hard and can’t compete with $8 bowls in Little Saigon. Also sushi, poke, etc. I’ve been re-cooking delivered foods to be safe, obviously, I can’t do that with sushi.

I also miss cabeza tacos, the melty cheese of nachos, restaurant caliber guacamole, and most crispy fried foods… those especially are things I could perhaps make, but aren’t worth the hassle unless you’re making them for masses of people. I also miss Filipino food. I can make some of it, and the aunts have made us some, but there’s plenty more I miss.

I hope our favorite restaurants survive this lockdown, because I miss so many of them.

#93 Pandemic Dad

02 April 2020 // Bakersfield, California

I hope we never look at people the same way we used to.

In the future, when hospitals no longer feel like war zones, when we no longer scrub down packages before opening them, when we can again stop for a conversation across the samples at Trader Joe’s, when we have places to drive and fly, when kids are back at school, and when we can go out for pho again, I hope we remember how essential the people around us are.

I hope we keep having the highest levels of respect

🏥 for the custodial teams and technicians that keep hospitals clean and running

📬 for the letter carriers and delivery people who help get us what we need

🍞 for the grocery workers and truck drivers who keep our food supply systems running

🚃 for the flight crews, public transit operators, and construction workers who help us go where we need to

👩🏾‍🏫 for the under appreciated teachers who serve our kids every day

🥜 for the farmers and cooks who make sure we don’t get hungry

For the most part, these jobs aren’t often romanticized. When career books talk about finding your dream job, these aren’t often the ones they refer to. But it’s to our disadvantage when we overlook how important these roles are.

The people around the globe who have done the best job of helping me feel hopeful about the world are remarkably ordinary. Moms and dads and farmers and drivers who represent the best of us.

I hope we always remember how to look at each other like heroes.

#94 Johnny Just-Stand-There

03 April 2020 // Bakersfield, California

They told me that the first year of his life was gonna be the fastest twelve months of my life. They didn’t really account for a global pandemic, but having Rhys at this age gives me something to appreciate about the sudden slow down.

We left our place in San Diego for relatively safer confines in LA and Bakersfield. Rhys handled those strange transitions pretty well. He got to spend a lot of time with his Bakersfield grandparents and his two aunts, one of whom he’s named after. He’s also slowly understanding how his other grandma suddenly exists inside Dad’s phone for right now- along with all the other virtual friends he’s met.

After hitting a little sleep regression, he’s starting to get back on track. He laughs a lot now, mostly at two things: me pretending to eat him like a zombie and Beignet barking at skateboarders.

He also started to try some frozen avocados to help soothe his teeth sprouts and introduce solids. Mixed reviews from him so far, but it’s a big step closer towards guac.

We planned these throwback Phillies duds for baseball’s opening day, but that among other things has been cancelled. Honestly, the best counter to all the disappointments from cancelled things has been simple gratitude. And that gets so much easier when I remember that I now get way more time to hang with this guy.

#95 Becoming Better Grownups

04 April 2020 // Bakersfield, California

THIS BOOK!

If you’re not already following Brad Montague, you’re missing out on one of the internet’s brightest gems. He’s made my world a good deal brighter for years and years- online and IRL.

When Brad announced this book, I was so excited. Becoming Better Grownups was the first book I ever preordered, because I wanted it to launch with a bang. I even had it sent to my office, to make sure it wouldn’t get lost like some packages that go to my house. Then we all went into quarantine and my office shut down. So I ordered a second copy to be sent to my in laws where we’re staying. I’m halfway through after just one day!

It’s a bit unfortunate for a pandemic to mess up this book launch, cancelling promo events and speaking gigs and what not. But in many ways it seems like a book about being better grownups is so needed for this moment.

I can’t help but think about how our world right now looks from a kid’s POV. Even from the POV of the inner child in each of us. The following little nugget puts into words how I’m feeling being a new dad during a global crisis:

Each generation rediscovers for themselves the magic of the world, but also the tragic nature of the world. How they choose to disregard this or engage with it has a lot to do with the grownups around them. Better grownups are joy rebels inviting us to grander views of ourselves and what we can do. They help everyone they come in contact with rise to new ideas of what’s possible. In disagreements, in disasters, in deaths of hamsters, they still find ways to invite people into something beautiful.

#96 Kingdom Hearts All-In-One

05 April 2020 // Bakersfield, California

And then the world got very, very small.

Right now, my world has three bedrooms. A population of five, unless you count the dog. It’s been quite the shift from my normal life. I’m an explorer at heart, but suddenly there’s nowhere to go. Maybe the backyard.

Most of my creative work is inspired by travel. My work is connected to places on the other side of the world. Places that are now off limits. But I do believe that your inner creativity can play on any playground. Sometimes restrictions bring out ideas you wouldn’t have had otherwise, like the “rules” on Whose Line.

Since my photography isn’t the most exciting these days, I started this new project. #andtheworldgotsmaller Surprisingly, so much detail goes into trying to make a mini-me in Photoshop. Things I don’t always think about matter. Focus. Light intensity. The direction of shadows. And the finished product is always imperfect but the journey is fun.

These days remind me a bit of my time in South Africa. When I visited in 2013, I stayed in a children’s home in a neighborhood that was unsafe for me to venture into. I didn’t have easy access to transport outside, and I had very limited internet access. What did I do? I read a book every day until I ran out. I wrote and wrote and wrote. I learned new ways to pray and meditate. And I learned and grew so much by exploring inwards. And I really bonded with the kids who I shared a hallway with.

If you’re a creative, you can still create. And if you’re an explorer, you can definitely still explore. The inward journey is limitless.

#97 Naps & Snacks

06 April 2020 // Bakersfield, California

I made a decision to make meaningful adventures a priority over comfort and “normalcy.” Between 2010 and 2014, I managed to make my way to 30 countries, off of an extremely small budget. How?

🔰 In 2010, I couch-surfed for 4 months.

🔰 In 2011, I couch-surfed for 2 more months.

🔰 In 2012, I lived in a van for about 5 months.

🔰 In 2013, I lived in a children’s center as a volunteer for 3 months, with my parents for 4, and out of a backpack for 3 months.

🔰 I lived in Bakersfield for a rent of $300 for 9 months between 2013 and 2014.

If you were to estimate about $1000 of California housing costs for each of those months, that’s $30,000 saved.

Of course there was still privilege involved. I didn’t have to worry about taking care of anyone and I didn’t have student loans to immediately tend to. But overall, I found that some creative choices can help you do a LOT with a little.

I still try to apply that lesson, although probably not in as extreme fashion as used to- sleeping in an airport to save $20 of lodging, or splitting a $15 twin-sized hostel bed. But I do think if you regularly ask “what’s really necessary?” and “is there any other way to do this?” you’ll open up so many doors.

#98 Small World Photo Series

07 April 2020 // Bakersfield, California

The brief appearance of a bird that perches by the window, worthy of attention for the brief moment before it flees elsewhere.

The rays of morning sunlight that strike through condensed window panes asking you to start the day just a bit more slowly before jumping into activity.

The old favorite song that pops up on shuffle during our commute that invites us to think of where we were four years ago. A new favorite that’s in the process of imprinting itself onto the present moment.

I think if you take all these little things and add them all up, they start to turn into a giant invitation to a fully engaged life. A life where there’s lots of room for spontaneity and adventure and unexpected discoveries. A life where wonder and exploring are priorities. A life where things are far from perfect but each day serves as an opportunity to leave things a little better than we found it.

Sometimes, it saddens and surprises me to see how many of us turn down this invitation day after day, but I also don’t want to judge people for doing this since it’s something I’ve been guilty of before. It’s like going through life asleep.

The tasks of a single day become obstacles to “finish off” rather than things to savor and enjoy.

We exhaust ourselves with activities related to our survival, that we run out of energy to pursue our purpose.

We seek entertainment as a distraction, rather than experiences designed to challenge us and make us grow.

Sometimes, it takes a major disruption before we realize how valuable life is. And how every single day, even the seemingly ordinary ones, are too miraculous and improbable to let pass without coming fully alive.

#99 Window Aunt

08 April 2020 // Bakersfield, California

They told me that the first year of his life was gonna be the fastest twelve months of my life. They didn’t really account for a global pandemic, but having Rhys at this age gives me something to appreciate about the sudden slow down.

We left our place in San Diego for relatively safer confines in LA and Bakersfield. Rhys handled those strange transitions pretty well. He got to spend a lot of time with his Bakersfield grandparents and his two aunts, one of whom he’s named after. He’s also slowly understanding how his other grandma suddenly exists inside Dad’s phone for right now- along with all the other virtual friends he’s met.

After hitting a little sleep regression, he’s starting to get back on track. He laughs a lot now, mostly at two things: me pretending to eat him like a zombie and Beignet barking at skateboarders.

He also started to try some frozen avocados to help soothe his teeth sprouts and introduce solids. Mixed reviews from him so far, but it’s a big step closer towards guac.

We planned these throwback Phillies duds for baseball’s opening day, but that among other things has been cancelled. Honestly, the best counter to all the disappointments from cancelled things has been simple gratitude. And that gets so much easier when I remember that I now get way more time to hang with this guy.

#100 Bib

09 April 2020 // Bakersfield, California

Enthusiasts are likely to be recognized for their impossibly long bucket lists, impressive collections of passport stamps, and collections of stories from bizarre jobs throughout the years. Just beyond the obvious, however, there’s a lot more than meets the eye.

The pages ahead will explore all that, but for now, here’s a peek at what sits beneath the surface:

An attraction to good

Enthusiasts are drawn to goodness, in every form. We have strong appetites for things we’d love to do, places we’d love to go. It’s within our nature to seek out fun. We can spot the positives in imperfect situations and figure out how to make the most of them. It doesn’t take much for us to get excited about an idea or an opportunity.

Sometimes this hypersensitivity to the good parts of everything makes decision-making very difficult. Saying yes to one opportunity is exciting, but also comes with the tinge of disappointment from saying no to the other opportunities. This can apply just as much to deciding what city to move to as it applies to picking an item on a menu to order. The Fear of Missing Out is a very real side-effect of a sensitivity to good.

A tendency towards optimism

Enthusiasts are optimists. This is at both a global level and a personal level. Of course, this doesn’t mean we never get discouraged. But we believe wholeheartedly that a better world is possible. This belief can lead us towards disappointment, but it can also lead to us surprising ourselves.

At a more day-to-day level, optimism might simply look like packing our calendars full of activity, always believing that there’s enough room to fit in another good thing. It can also look like signing ourselves up for tasks that might be a little out of our league, believing in our ability to rise to the challenge and learn new skills.

Living like this has its pros-and-cons. Sometimes you exhaust yourself and let down other people. Other times, you surprise yourself, and accomplish much more than seemed possible simply by being willing to try. Either way, you seem to gravitate to this state of optimism by default.

A sense of urgency

Enthusiasts seem to have an innate understanding of how precious time is. While we’re usually future-focused, planning our next big adventures, we do so with a sense of determination because we know that the future is fast approaching.

I have yet to hear anyone articulate how time seems to move faster year after year than writer Elizabeth Gilbert. I suspect she’s a fellow enthusiast. In her book City of Girls she explains, “after a certain age, time just drizzles down upon your head like rain in the month of March: you’re always surprised at how much of it can accumulate, and how fast.”

That means that our lives frequently feel like ballgames entering the later innings. We can’t waste an at-bat. If we aren’t using each year to bring us closer to our big dreams in life, then they’re moving us closer to a grave where those dream remain undone. Yeah, we can be a bit dramatic about this urgency sometimes, but that’s how it often feels.

#101 Potato Boy

10 April 2020 // Bakersfield, California

It isn’t lost on me that this outbreak happened on queue with the Lenten season. Today is Good Friday, and I think it’s an appropriate reminder that even for believers in hope, sometimes the right thing to do is to sit with the loss.

Even though I’ve now been in quarantine for four weeks, I am still quite surprised that the virus that was on the periphery of my attention a month ago has now disrupted life around me and around the world.

I’m reminded that it can be easy to mistake comfort for invincibility. On the global spectrum, I live in relative comfort. I have access to things like healthcare and food security that many don’t. All it took was one week, however, to exhaust the hospitals and grocery stores around me. We all have our own vulnerabilities.

The season of Lent begins with Ash Wednesday, a day that reminds us of how from dust we came, and to dust we shall return. It’s a day on our liturgical calendar that invites us to think about the vulnerability of our lives, and how our lives are short and fragile. As notifications fill my phone screen of New York City, Spain, and Italy reaching new tragic milestones in lives lost to the virus, that reminder feels inescapable.

I have a lot to say about how the story doesn’t end there and about how we’re people of hope. But all the talk about hope and resurrection feels cheapened if we don’t first acknowledge the reality of grief, loss, and death that is part of our human experience. We’re called to mourn with those who mourn, just like Jesus showed us at Lazarus’ tomb. Right now, millions are mourning everything from cancelled plans to the loss of lifelong partners. One of the things I’ve learned from our partners, particularly in Thailand and Haiti, is that in these moments where things feel most devastating is when hope gets to work.

#102 Venturing Out

11 April 2020 // Bakersfield, California

You know how so many Christmas movies have a plot line that involves Christmas being apparently ruined? Like, the house catches on fire, Santa’s sleigh has some sort of mechanical defect, the Grinch steals everything, and so on? What inevitably happens after that?

All the little townspeople come out and sing or something, and everyone remembers that Christmas isn’t about all the pizzazz, but things like hope and spirit and salvation and music and so on.

This year, for those of us who celebrate Easter, it’s kind of like that.

🎴

I don’t frequently share thoughts on this subject but I saw this Tweet by Dan White that really struck a chord—

Covid is a revealing what the Church is about.

Some Churches: How do we deliver an excellent product that people need every week?

Other Churches: How do we equip our people for loving their neighbors every week?

💠

The churches who prioritize impressing people are increasingly unimpressive. Churches that prioritize winning arguments are increasingly unconvincing. Churches that look to love and serve the most vulnerable? That never goes out of style.

The other week, our church put together a phone tree, making sure all our families had someone reaching out to them. I got a lot of voicemail inboxes, but I managed to get ahold of a few people on my list.

Most of our church is older, so I would ask if there was anything I could do to help. Nothing was particularly Earth-shaking. One guy just wanted to chat for a while since he lived alone. Another woman needed help with Zoom. That was about it, but it felt so much more like a core function of church compared to the big budget egg hunts and celebrity guest speakers missing from this year’s celebration.

🌅

At a time where we can no longer stand out because of our products and programs, we will be known for our priorities and the people we serve.

#103 RHYS’ FIRST EASTER

12 April 2020 // Bakersfield, California

Rhys’ First Easter! Of course this one feels a bit different.

What does it mean to celebrate resurrection and the idea of new life in the middle of a global pandemic?

I wrote a little something for the @plantwpurpose blog. It’s a more personal piece than my usual work there. (See that link in my bio, friends) This week we’ll launch a campaign on how to help our rural communities after COVID but today’s post is about what they’ve taught me. As agriculturalists, they understand very well how when something dies and goes into the ground, it can give way to the emergence of new life.

What new world can be born from the end of the old one?

I hope we never stop making a priority out of considering the safety of our more vulnerable friends and neighbors. The elderly, the poor, the immunocompromised.

I hope we learn to look at the people stocking the shelves at our grocery store, growing our coffee in Tanzania, or keeping the floors of our hospitals sanitary as dignified and essential.

I hope we rediscover the virtue of cooperation instead of an us-versus-them approach.

I believe we can be better after all this.

We’re resurrection people, after all.

#104 ps4 games

13 April 2020 // Bakersfield, California

I miss running!

I know, there are some ways to safely run and socially distance but a) I’m still trying to cut risks as low as possible and b) it just isn’t the same! If COVID-19 didn’t basically cancel every marathon, I’d likely be training for my third half.

🏃🏾‍♂️🏃🏾‍♂️🏃🏾‍♂️

A decade ago, I would’ve been surprised to hear myself say a phrase like <<I miss running>> but it’s true. Number 1️⃣9️⃣ on my list of things I’m glad I did in my twenties (#philippestwenties20) is getting into half-marathoning.

👟👟👟

Back in the day, I played a lot of sports, but I always thought of running as the thing I HAD to do in order to play the game. I couldn’t imagine having fun just running on its own. But that changed when I signed up for the Eugene Half in 2016. As my training progressed, I kept feeling like I surprised myself with longer distances and better times. I felt healthier than ever.

My last race was the San Diego Half in 2018. And I think I have a lot more races ahead of me, even though it’s harder to find the time to train with a kid and a full time job.

Here are a few races I’d love to do someday:

👟 A race in another country. Believe it or not, I looked into the Nairobi half marathon once, just for the irony

👟 Using a race as a chance to explore the heart of a city I don’t know too well.

👟One where I aim for a PR, or a 2:00 Time. Up until now, I’ve just ran to finish.

👟 A long distance relay. I’ve looked at one in Idaho that connects a bunch of breweries.

👟 Also, Hood To Coast

👟 Maybe a race in a National Park sometime

Anyone else have a similarly surprising relationships with running?

#105 THE BABY THRONE

14 April 2020 // Bakersfield, California

How do you poke at the travel itch when you can’t exactly scratch it? One of my favorite ways is with foreign films!

🎞🎞🎞

Admittedly, it can be hard to know where to look for good ones. You watch Parasite, and you’re like, yes! Give me more! But then all you find is each country’s equivalent of Paul Blart: Mall Cop.

I’ve got your back, my friend.

🎥

My latest quarantine project is this: The 2020 Stuck-At-Home International Film Festival. Go ahead and draw yourself a festival pass on a piece of cardboard. We’ve got some good ones to watch.

Here’s how it’ll work: Each week(ish) I’ll email out a new batch of films from around the world, along with links of where to stream them, since they can be found all over the internet. Most of these will be free, but one per week might be behind a paywall meant to support local theatres and film festivals.

Here’s a short list of some early favorites:

Wild Goose Lake (China)

Cake (Pakistan)

Happy As Lazzaro (Italy)

Parasite (South Korea)

Atlantics (Senegal)

Metro Manila (Philippines)

Trash (Brazil)

#106 Miss Y’ALL

15 April 2020 // Bakersfield, California

When was the last time you found yourself totally caught up in a moment of wonder? A moment where time just seemed to freeze, where all your senses switched on, and you could hardly believe where you were?

This is increasingly one of my favorite questions to ask. It’s also a really awkward question to ask, sometimes, because people don’t get asked it often. It catches people off guard. It’s not an answer that people usually keep in their back pocket- especially when I ask for the most recent moment of wonder rather than the most profound moment of wonder. It can also be troubling when people realize it’s been a while since their last moment of wonder.

But, when people do find their answer, their eyes light up. Their guard drops. Even for just a little moment, they become childlike again. And if you need to disarm someone towards kindness and empathy, this is a good place to be.

It’s a question I try and ask myself too. Socrates calls wonder the beginning of wisdom. I never want it to be too long.

#107 Quilt Time

16 April 2020 // Bakersfield, California

A recent idea I saw challenged me a little bit.

I read a quote from a therapist on Instagram explaining how you can’t heal things that you refuse to grieve. The way that challenges me is that I have a natural tendency to avoid grief. In fact, the perspective I’ve had on sadness for a long time was almost the opposite of what the therapist said– sometimes by acknowledging a feeling of defeat, I felt like I was letting that thing beat me.

I’m thankful to be challenged this way, because I think that therapist was more right than I’d been. In fact, avoiding grief might actually be a way to let the circumstance win.

I do have things to grieve at the moment. March was supposed to be a lot of fun, with some of my closest friends meeting Rhys for the first time. April should’ve been a good one too, between Earth Day and then my birthday in New Orleans. At the same time, I’m thankful for the slowdown, for the time I’ve been able to spend with Rhys, and for the refreshed perspective.

Grief isn’t a paint-by-numbers sort of thing and I guess even conflicting ingredients like gratitude can fit into the recipe somewhere. I just want to make sure that I’m healing and among the healers. If grief is what it takes, then I’m willing to learn how. Instinctive or not.

#108 QUARANTINE PORTRAIT

17 April 2020 // Bakersfield, California

One of the things I heard early on during this epidemic was someone explaining how this event would challenge just about everybody’s way of seeing the world. No matter what you believe, there will be something that happens over the next several months that just forces you to reassess.

I was hopeful when I heard that. I think it’s overall a positive thing for people to reconsider their beliefs and assumptions and to keep on allowing them to be challenged. However, there also seem to be a lot of cases where I don’t see that happening. People who simply parrot whatever their favorite commentators have to say. People who can only comment on people’s responses based on their political affiliations. People who decide how they feel about a certain approach just based on who endorses it or who supports it.

I think if you go through this whole pandemic, and your point of view hasn’t shifted at all, you’ve missed a truly major opportunity to learn and grow.

Of course, that means I’ve got to be mindful of the ways I’ve let my own beliefs be challenged too. I think the most obvious example right now, is that I’ve been forced to see fear and wisdom and boldness in terms that are a lot less black-and-white.

I used to be pretty insistent on love-over-fear. But now I’m also seeing that acting cautiously can often fit within the framework of love. It’s not an all-or-nothing thing, most of the time.

#109 CORONAVIRUS SHOPPING LIST

18 April 2020 // Bakersfield, California

There’s this alarm set on my phone for 3:00 PM. It’s labeled “🙏🏽 - ********/Rhys.” I haven’t set it in over a year.

I think about it often, though.

For a while, that was my afternoon nudge to keep praying in one of the hardest stretches of my life. We’d been trying to have a kid for nearly a year with no success. If you haven’t figured it out, those ********s hide the name we would’ve chosen for a girl. Most of the time my alarm went off I didn’t feel like praying, cause it felt like it didn’t matter.

🌌🌌🌌

This sums up what 2018 was like for me. Then in March of 2019, we learned that Rhys was on his way to join the family that fall.

After that two year saga, I wondered what the next episode of life would hold. Sometimes I like to think of my life like a screenwriter... with all that just went down the past two seasons, maybe a quiet year wouldn’t be so bad? Maybe some trips? I’d been eager to start traveling again.

Turns out the script includes a dystopian pandemic.

👑

I saw a picture of the Queen’s image and quote projected over an empty Trafalgar Square saying “We’ll get through this. We’ll see each other again.” Someone commented, if you saw this picture a year ago, what would you think happened?

⛲️

I keep thinking about what the past two years have taught me and how it relates to right now.

Hope isn’t an emotion. Hope isn’t a rational path that convinces us how everything will work itself out. Hope is a choice.

#110 Father Son Lockdown

19 April 2020 // Bakersfield, California

Between being on the cusp of my 30th and seeing a lot of new faces on here lately, seems like the right time for a little intro by the way of some fun facts.

🌐

1️⃣ My dream job… at least one of them… would be hosting a show that involves traveling to different places and highlighting local cultures AND the way ordinary people there are helping each other solving problems related to justice and environmental issues. The cool thing is, this really isn’t that different from my real job as Creative Director for @plantwpurpose, and producing things like the #grassrootspodcast and video projects are part of my role.

🎇

2️⃣ People my age and up don’t seem to value learning new things. I want to resist that by regularly having my mind blown. It’s a big reason I love travel, reading, meeting people with oddly specific passions.

🗺

3️⃣ I’m more than a little bit obsessed with maps. A weird thing I do for a brain break while working sometimes is look for hard-to-get-to places on Google Maps and drop in via Street View to have a look around. Some of my favorite spots to explore this way lately have been: Chad, rural Mongolia, small towns in the Yukon, and the island of Tonga.

🎤

4️⃣ An odd college job of mine was to set up audio for concerts that would happen on campus. I was terrible at it and could never keep the wires straight. But I loved the weird encounters it led to. My favorites include getting Girl Talk to share his catering with me, helping Death Cab get access to some treadmills, and getting trapped backstage with Lindsay Lohan during a Ludacris show.

🏔

5️⃣ My backup plan for life is going off to the Andes to be an alpaca farmer.

#111 DAILY WALKS

20 April 2020 // Bakersfield, California

The Stuck-at-Home International Film Festival goes on!

It’s dawning on me how long it will likely be before I can safely go out and do one of my favorite things again… traveling. I miss taking in the immersive feeling of being in a new place, taking in the sounds of a plaza, the smells of a roadside eatery, and the simple act of discovery.

All that makes me appreciate the international films I’ve been watching while in quarantine even more.

The United States is the world’s top exporter of movies. Hollywood films are regularly shown all over the world, giving international audiences multiple opportunities to see portrayals of American life. On the other hand, very rarely does an international film get the distribution it needs to be widely seen in the U.S. That makes things a one-way street.

Other film industries are catching up, though! Bollywood releases more films each year than any other country. Nollywood– Nigeria’s film industry– might catch people by surprise as the third largest film industry in the world.

If you’ve seen one film from, say, Brazil, you’ve still only seen one impression of Brazil, which is why I’m including multiple films from the same country in this series. Booksmart and Ford vs. Ferrari would give you very different impressions of American culture, after all.

By the way… would you ever guess the country of origin of these other film industries based on their name and a movie poster from that country?

#112 SHORT WALKS

21 April 2020 // Bakersfield, California

Three years ago, I got to visit a remote Tanzanian area called Rombo. Looking at a map, it looks somewhat close to Mount Kilimanjaro, but getting there made it feel like it wasn’t close to anything.

To get to Rombo, we had to take an all-wheel drive jeep up some extremely steep slopes. You know those cartoons where a supervillain lives on top of a very pointy mountain, and to get to their lair you have to take this narrow path that keeps spiraling upward? That’s what driving on the rocky road to Rombo felt like. The jeep we were in was pretty tough, but I still felt every pointy stone on the dirt road that we went over. The whole vehicle bumped and vibrated on its way up.

When we got to the village, community members rushed out towards us. They were holding and waving palm fronds, singing to us in Swahili and cheering at the top of their lungs. Tanzanian culture is extremely hospitable and puts an emphasis on welcoming people, but if I didn’t know any better, I would think they were cheering on our long trek up the mountain.

I visit these places because I love them. I also visit them for work. Going primarily on storytelling trips for Plant With Purpose.

While our organization helps these communities form groups where they can develop sustainable farming skills, land management plans, and economic empowerment, they haven’t been able to meet in over a month. Mass tree planting events haven’t been able to go on as scheduled. My colleagues working overseas have largely been confined to their homes as well.

The coronavirus is just as disruptive there as it is here. And over there, people were already facing quite difficult lives.

As of mid-April, there are around 20,000 confirmed cases of COVID-19 in Africa, while testing is severely limited. A lot of talk has emerged lately about what things would look like if COVID-19 outbreaks were to strike the developing world. As of right now, around 80% of known active COVID-19 cases are in the United States and Europe, but if that were to change, what would happen?

#113 The Yuma Way House

22 April 2020 // Bakersfield, California

Happy, happy Earth Day. 🌎🌍🌏

This has been about as hectic of a week as I could’ve had without leaving the house. I helped Plant With Purpose launch a campaign to help our communities during the pandemic, then immediately turned around and created a guide for Earth Day at Home.

I’m sure you’ve seen those posts about how the Earth is healing while we’re all locked down and in quarantine. 🏔The Himalayas are visible from Punjab and Jalandahar for the first time in decades. The air pollution levels over Europe are way down. Lions are napping on usually busy South African roads.

There’s an impulse to celebrate all this. To look at it as nature’s chance to put points on the scoreboard while humans are in the penalty box. Isn’t this healing what we’ve wanted??

I think the one flaw to this perspective is that it overlooks how humans are part of creation. Thinking ourselves separate is what gets us into trouble.

Our wellness is connected with the health of our environment. There have been a bunch of studies showing how climate change has accelerated the risk of viral outbreaks, and this shouldn’t be taken as a story of humans versus the planet, but the fact that our health is so intertwined.

I think the narrative that we’re engaged in some sort of battle between humans and nature does more harm than good. That was the plot of The Happening, and we all know that was M. Night Shamaylan’s ultimate downfall. 🌿🌿🌿

I work for an environmental organization and lately we’ve had to pivot to make sure the communities we work in are safe during this pandemic. But that’s still totally in line with the message of loving all creation.

#114 OUTSIDE OFFICE

23 April 2020 // Bakersfield, California

Right around this time last year was when I went to Colombia. It was an extremely fast trip, cut even shorter by American Airlines screwups. But it was one of my most memorable overseas jaunts. 🇨🇴🇨🇴🇨🇴🇨🇴

My friend introduced me to members of a rural community that had been torn apart by the conflict and clashes between guerilla fighters and paramilitary members. They showed me the sites of deadly events, they told me their own stories of hiding and escaping. Most importantly, though, they all showed me how they were moving forward. From having ex-combatants participating in rehabilitation sessions, to ordinary community members creating small businesses in coffee and ecotourism so the next generation would have better options.

It’s easy to get discouraged by seeing groups at odds. Whether it’s as extreme as a civil war or just persistently toxic like the political headbutting we’re all familiar with. These community members in Colombia helped me see that moving forward might be difficult, but it definitely isn’t impossible. 🛫🛬🛫🛬

I’m in the middle of a stretch of time that’ll most likely be my longest gap in between international trips. I’ll be so excited when it’s safe to get out there again. But I’m at least thankful that my last journey out was such an impactful one.

This trip to Colombia makes number 1️⃣8️⃣ on my list of stuff I’m thankful I did before turning 30.

#115 ARBOR DAY STUDIES

24 April 2020 // Bakersfield, California

“Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree,” declared Martin Luther. 

🌳🌳🌳 

Today is Arbor Day, and while we’re celebrating in the middle of a global pandemic, we are perhaps even more appreciative of trees and the act of planting trees. Why? Planting trees is an act of hope.

#116 SAVE PHO COW CALI

25 April 2020 // San Diego, California

What I wouldn’t do right now for a simple date night. Drop Rhys off at my mom’s for a couple hours. 🍿🍔🍺Maybe get tickets for Black Widow at the theatre that gives us half off their burgers with every ticket.

Or for a day out at dog beach. 🏖 Let Beignet run into the ocean since it’s pretty much the main way she gets bathed.

Or for baseball season. ⚾️ Starting April off with some high expectations for the Phillies that’ll most likely be dashed in mid-August.

A quirk of life is that we naturally take our “normal” for granted. I go further. I often look at normal as something to try and improve on. I’m often escaping “normal” to try and find adventure. I see things that are alright and ask “is there any way to make it better?” It’s a gift and curse. Being able to practice contentment and gratitude al  ongside constant improvement is a skill that takes a lifetime to master.

Four years ago, when I had to spend a week in a hospital, I remember what a good feeling it was to get back to “normal,” when we were released. And I discovered that disruptions to our sense of normal help us appreciate things much more.

There are many ways I hope our world transforms post-pandemic. 🌍 But at the heart of it, I hope we appreciate our lives and those around us so much more. Here’s one other plot twist. That mindset doesn’t need to wait. If you really wanna work those gratitude muscles, start with what’s in front of you, locked up in the same house.

For me it’s time with my boy during his baby era. 🎮 And playing video games before bed with my wife. It’s the fact that I still have a job. The fact that we aren’t in financial jeopardy and can still order books and the occasional takeout. 🥡 It’s health. It’s the fact that this isn’t happening in the 90’. It’s Italian movies and Thai noodles. It’s having good times to look back on and forward to.

And it’s always more precious than we realize.

#117 Some Time hOME

26 April 2020 // San Diego, California

What I wouldn’t do right now for a simple date night. Drop Rhys off at my mom’s for a couple hours. 🍿🍔🍺Maybe get tickets for Black Widow at the theatre that gives us half off their burgers with every ticket.

Or for a day out at dog beach. 🏖 Let Beignet run into the ocean since it’s pretty much the main way she gets bathed.

Or for baseball season. ⚾️ Starting April off with some high expectations for the Phillies that’ll most likely be dashed in mid-August.

A quirk of life is that we naturally take our “normal” for granted. I go further. I often look at normal as something to try and improve on. I’m often escaping “normal” to try and find adventure. I see things that are alright and ask “is there any way to make it better?” It’s a gift and curse. Being able to practice contentment and gratitude al  ongside constant improvement is a skill that takes a lifetime to master.

Four years ago, when I had to spend a week in a hospital, I remember what a good feeling it was to get back to “normal,” when we were released. And I discovered that disruptions to our sense of normal help us appreciate things much more.

There are many ways I hope our world transforms post-pandemic. 🌍 But at the heart of it, I hope we appreciate our lives and those around us so much more. Here’s one other plot twist. That mindset doesn’t need to wait. If you really wanna work those gratitude muscles, start with what’s in front of you, locked up in the same house.

For me it’s time with my boy during his baby era. 🎮 And playing video games before bed with my wife. It’s the fact that I still have a job. The fact that we aren’t in financial jeopardy and can still order books and the occasional takeout. 🥡 It’s health. It’s the fact that this isn’t happening in the 90’. It’s Italian movies and Thai noodles. It’s having good times to look back on and forward to.

And it’s always more precious than we realize.

#118 Mango Break

27 April 2020 // Bakersfield, California

My friend Alejo brought up some pretty good questions a little while ago, and I’ve been thinking about my answers ever since. These aren’t the exact questions but they’re similar:

1️⃣ What have you learned about yourself?

2️⃣ How do you want to be different afterwards?

3️⃣ What can you do right now to move in that direction?

Undercooked answers at this moment are okay!

🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹

1️⃣ I’ve gotten more familiar with Emergency-Mode Philippe. There are some aspects of this guy that I like and others that I want to watch out for. I like that my gift of foresight can often serve others well. On the other side, I can get a little more irritable, and I don’t like seeing myself that way.

2️⃣ I didn’t realize how busy I was before, and how much I was occupying my time with random things. Now that I’ve seen some of the upsides of a freer schedule, I’d like to keep things more open, even when quarantine ends.

3️⃣ I’m trying to get better, again, with contemplative spiritual practices. I’m trying to focus my energies more on fewer things and to be better at going to bed when I’m tired instead of squeezing out one other thing.

#119 Dipping Toes

28 April 2020 // Bakersfield, California

My friend Alejo brought up some pretty

What does Readiness & Resilience mean for our partnering communities during COVID-19?

It means having the advanced preparation and resources to handle any scenario that the outbreak leads to. That’s why we’re currently building a Readiness & Resilience Fund.

This investment will allow us to:

Do everything possible to keep the virus out of our villages – This means adapting our programs to function in spite of temporary travel restrictions, and getting accurate information out to our community members. We’re making sure as much of our work as possible can continue with new social distancing measures implemented.

Respond to critical needs if they arise – Of course we hope to succeed at avoiding outbreaks, but if something occurs out of our control, we have the networks and partnerships in place to help our communities get the most appropriate care possible.

Rebuild food and economic security quickly – Our partners are already feeling the effects of economic turmoil and food shortages. These are a result of the economic halt created by the lockdown. Plant With Purpose has tools that can help kickstart both income generation and food production in rural communities after a catastrophic event.

#120 Rhys’ First Swim

29 April 2020 // Bakersfield, California

There have been a growing amount of protests against lockdown orders lately.

Even though I think that’s a pretty stupid thing to be doing, in some ways I can at least understand some of the feelings that are caught up in these expressions. The economic uncertainty. The frustration that this pandemic seems to be unending.

These feelings are valid. The way they’re expressing them is dangerous and dumb.

Headlines make it seem like these protests are everywhere, but really, an extremely high percentage of people support continuing lockdown. It’s the perfect example of a vocal minority getting disproportionate coverage.

I wonder if sometimes our media’s storytellers are simply bored with the story we’ve been telling for weeks. Stay home. Save lives. People are looking for new questions, new conflicts, new sources of tension.

When I think of the time I had to spend weeks in South Africa, mostly confined to one room, I do remember feeling bored and daunted by the lack of things to do. Ultimately, that led to me doing some inner exploration and that led to the very best parts of my life in the years ahead.

But I had to push through the boredom.

I get the boredom and frustration going on right now, but I think the key to this experience actually being beneficial to us- both individually and as a society- calls us to sit in that stillness for longer than we’d like. It’s gonna be uncomfortable.

But if we don’t do it, we’ll be the ones who miss out.

#121 Six months of Rhys

30 April 2020 // Bakersfield, California

Happy half birthday Rhys! 🎉 You came to this world at a pretty wild time, no? It’s not always like this.

I hope that soon enough, we’ll be able to get back to all that good stuff we really enjoyed. Hiking with you in the backpack carrier. Taking sis to the dog park. Visiting Lola or your cousins Zara, Luke, and Simon. And then there’s all the stuff we had to put on hold. Your first trip. Meeting your Cousin Levi. That swamp tour we were gonna take.

In the meantime, slowing down to spend time with you has been the brightest spot in a crazy and chaotic time.

⌛️⏳⌛️

When you first showed up, I wanted time to suddenly expand and every day to pass as slowly as a year. This isn’t quite what I meant, but it’s what we’ve had.

This past month, I’ve loved watching you have fun in the pool for the first time. I love how much you like sweet potatoes, and I hope you come around to like avocado a bit more. 🍠 Maybe when you discover guac. 🥑 I love that you find Beignet hilarious.

These past six months have been the sweetest.

An Update from Quarantine

What a month.

In a parallel universe, where there’s not a pandemic happening, we would’ve just finished back-to-back weekends in Palm Springs and Sacramento with friends. We’d be getting ready for a big Earth Day event in Texas and then spending my birthday week in New Orleans. In the background I’d be putting together plans for a summer trip to Africa- and I’ve been really itching to get back out into the field.

Instead, we’ve been living in guest rooms at my aunts’ and my in-laws’.

It’s totally legit to be disappointed at all the cancelled things. More than ever I’d love to be in a big house with friends on a weekend getaway, or on an African adventure. But I simultaneously find myself so thankful for a lot of things.

I’m thankful that Deanna and I have fairly resilient jobs that we’re still passionate about. I’m thankful they’ve given us the flexibility to adapt to remote work.

I’m thankful that I get to spend so much time with Rhys at a really fun age. If I’ve got to be quarantined, might as well be with the people I love most.

I’m thankful for aunts and in-laws who have generously had us over while our San Diego living situation was less than ideal.

I’m thankful we started taking things seriously pretty early. It’s still a scary time, but those advanced precautions have made it a lot less scary.

I’m thankful for trivia night on Zoom, Houseparty, new books, Onward, a new season of Kim’s Convenience tonight, and podcast recording. This quarantine would’ve been much harder in the 90s.

Love y’all.

Shoutout to the Medics

I’m feeling so much appreciation for the healthcare workers of the world right now.

This moment should rightfully challenge our ideas of what careers and societal roles are seen as heroic. We can survive without talk show hosts and athletes and influencers. We’d be totally screwed without people on the frontlines of our health services.

I am completely moved by the selflessness of doctors, nurses, transporters, technicians, food and custodial teams, public health officials, and researchers right now. On the other side of all this, I hope they’re given so much special recognition by our reimagined world.

I’m proud to be from a Filipino family FULL of medics. Doctor dad. Nurse mom. Nurse aunt. Doctor aunt.

I’m thankful for all the healthcare workers who took care of my wife as a kid, long before we met. For the ones in Portland who helped us through a pretty scary infection four years ago. For our OB who helped us successfully navigate a pregnancy with all kinds of complications.

Being a healer is one of the highest callings.

Do For a Million

You’ve probably never been part of a global quarantine before. Don’t be surprised that there’s a learning curve. It’s my rookie year too.

Here’s a shortcut to making better choices:

Ask yourself, if a million other people also did this what I’m doing, what would the world be like?

This doesn’t apply only to quarantine. Thinking like this makes me want to let less food go to waste. To try and support more ethical businesses even if it costs an extra buck. To be more mindful of my carbon footprint.

Turns out, it’s a pretty good way to think in a pandemic.

I’ve heard a lot of people asking around if one activity or another is a good or bad idea during a pandemic. Going on a hike? Jogging on deserted streets? Shooting a basketball by yourself in the park pretending to beat a team of Monstars?

No shame in not knowing, since you probably haven’t quarantined with the entire world before. And different places have different degrees of restriction, though it’s hard to be too cautious.

If a million people did their cardio in isolation, on empty streets, at staggered times, that’d probably be fine. If a million people showed up at the trailhead, that’s not so good.

If a million people ordered food from a struggling mom and pop Chinese restaurant and sent one extra meal to hospital workers... that’d be real amazing.

This is a mental shortcut so there are of course exceptions and times when this doesn’t apply. But hey, it’s so easy to overlook how our small choices impact plenty of other people. This way of thinking helps!

A Purpose in a Pandemic

Me the last few weeks. Keeping an eye on things. Making moves as necessary. Trying to keep loved ones safe.
You know that Nietzsche quote about how a person can handle any WHAT if they’ve got the right WHY? That feels pretty true right now.

Quarantine is basically the opposite of my Enneagram 7 dream world. I’m an extrovert who can’t see other people. I’m a traveler who can’t really leave the house. I’m an optimist living in a scared and grieving world right now.

But I’m not quite as devastated as it seems like I should be on paper. Disappointed over the cancelled plans and stuff I’d been looking forward to? For sure. But... I’ve also been more focused on what the present asks of me.

Right now, that’s meant doing everything I can to help three people I love stay at home and minimize their risk. It means making sure Rhys and Deanna and Beignet have everything they need. It means looking for weird ways to put joy in people’s lives- remotely, with the help of tech, etc. And it means figuring out how to keep doing my day job at a caliber I can be proud of, knowing that the needs of the people I serve aren’t on pause right now just because most things are.

Purpose matters. And I know so many of us are having to reassess ours. Are we adding something to the world that it really needs?

It can be overwhelming to look at problems beyond the scope of your abilities. I can’t singlehandedly stop a pandemic (beyond stopping the spread by distancing and all that) but I can look after 3-5 other people and make sure they’re as well as possible right now. If each of us made that a goal, it could be one of our biggest weapons against despair.

Grassroots on Covid-19

This virus is a big reminder of how vulnerable all of our lives are, and how our sense of security is mostly an illusion.

While all this is going on, I wonder about the most vulnerable communities. The rural communities across Asia, Africa, and Latin America I’ve spent most of my life trying to be close to. Right now, physical proximity would be reckless, but I am thinking about them.

Most African and Latin American countries have reported small numbers of Coronavirus infections, mostly among people who’ve traveled between capital cities and economic hubs. The poorest communities are often rural, and their remote locations may be their best defense. Never have I been more thankful for the fact that it takes such a long and bumpy ride to get to these parts of Haiti, Tanzania, and beyond.

But if this virus makes its way to those parts, its effects will be awful. Many people have health problems and medical infrastructure is minimal.

I released a new, unplanned, episode of the Grassroots Podcast to talk about how Plant With Purpose is responding to the pandemic.

Daniel's 31st

Times are crazy but Daniel turned 31 today while working on a cancer cure from his bedroom, so we gon’ be arrite.

See you in person eventually bruh. Here’s a throwback to when you were 30, flying and dying.

Covid-19: What We're Doing

When did Will Smith tell us all that “danger is real but fear is a choice?” (It was in that movie After Earth he did with Jaden. Never saw it, but great quote, Will)

🌎
🌍
🌏

About a month or two ago, I started tracking this virus outbreak. Deanna has some risk factors, so I started asking myself what we would need to do if it were to make its way towards Southern California. At first it felt very hypothetical, though I’d make larger grocery purchases of frozen and canned things than usual. Then about a week before things really went haywire, I realized it was time for us to pull back from going into the office.

We’ve been effectively self-isolating for two weeks at this point. I’m so thankful I was a bit early to resort to those measures- by being even just a couple days ahead we significantly reduced our risk.

Since then, we’ve made our way out of San Diego. Swipe ➡️ for an update with where we are now.

Being on the more cautious end of the spectrum felt a little out of character for me. I constantly talk about how fear isn’t the answer, and I spend a lot of time with people and in places wrongfully considered scary.

The thing that’s becoming more clear to me is that giving into fear is different than being aware of possible dangers. If you’re aware, you can be more strategic. In the long run, it gives you and the people around you less to fear.

😷😷😷

One other thing, I wear a mask on the occasions that I need to step away from the house for a bit since I’m taking care of three high-risk people and a baby right now and I can’t afford to bring anything home. If you’re not in a vulnerable circumstance and you do have masks or other PPE like them around, do figure out how to get them to your local hospital ASAP.

The Big Pause

I’ve been quiet on here. Much like the rest of the world, my life came to a pretty sudden pause.

My focus the past few weeks has been almost singular: keeping my family safe. We have some risk factors that led us to going into full isolation.

I’ll give an update soon enough about how that’s been going, but for now, we’re well. I am so glad we started taking more precautions earlier in the spread. It isn’t like me to be easily worried, but there’s a reason we have that inner voice we need to listen to sometimes.

In the meantime, just keep doing the next right thing.

It’s a simple idea, but also a profound spiritual practice, and the way we’ll move forward.

One of these days, Rhys and I will get to chat about this weird moment in history that struck four months after he was born. I want to be proud of what I tell him about how we handled this time.

Beignet's 5th Birthday

Okay, here’s something simple and sweet.

Look who turned five this weekend!

Beignet transitioned into being a big sister pretty nicely. As we thought she would. Seeing her play gently with random kids and be great with our nephews were early indicators that she’d do well with a baby.

She still tries to sneak in a lick here and there that she isn’t allowed to, but she’s been great with Rhys.

Beignet’s been a source of clumsy joy and lightness, even when things were really hard. ⠀⠀
I’m happy she gets to be part of the fun as well.

#lifeofbeignet

Love, Fear, and Contagion

The most contagious virus of all is fear. But perhaps the second most contagious thing is apathy.

🏥

While COVID-19 unfolds, we’ve got to stay human. There are two generally unhelpful responses I keep seeing.

1️⃣ This is very, very bad. Prepare for the worst!

2️⃣ Stop worrying people! This is all just an overrated media frenzy that will go away. Besides, unless you’re old or immunocompromised, it probably won’t kill you.

That response makes it seem like the lives of the elderly or medically vulnerable aren’t equally valuable. Plus, the worst case scenarios- Iran, Washington State, etc. became far more deadly when people were overconfident and underprepared. The most vulnerable suffered.

Calls to panic are equally unhelpful. It leads to people stockpiling and price gouging masks and sanitizers, making it harder for the population who actually needs these things to find them. At its worst, fear teams up with prejudice against entire groups of people.

Turns out, I had a lot of thoughts on love and fear and concern and panic. I wrote an extended blog post- like the kinds I used to write- and linked it in my bio. 🔗This question of fear vs. concern doesn’t just apply to viruses, but to climate change, migration, and beyond.

An excerpt:
〰️
Here’s what I believe now: I still believe love is the highest calling and that perfect love casts out fear. But I don’t think that means never being afraid. It means moving through your fears, not around them, in order to do the right thing. Dismissing the concerns of other people isn’t being fearless, it’s simply being asleep to your own fear. And it isn’t helpful.

Reading List- Winter 2020

What are the best books you’ve read so far this year?

I definitely can’t devour my reading list the way I used to before Rhys was born, so that’s made me want to be more selective about what I start reading. And I’ve also had to get better at abandoning books that just aren’t doing it for me.

Here’s what I’ve read in the first few weeks of the year.

📔 Atomic Habits by James Clear – James Clear is probably one of my five favorite people I follow on Twitter. A whole book of his insight was a real treat. It was a really actionable read, and probably one of the most appropriate choices for the start of a new year.

📘 The Book of Unknown Americans by Cristina Henríquez – First novel of the year, featuring some really empathetic characters of migrants to the USA. A little grim, but so human.

📔 Rooted in the Earth by Dianne D. Glave – A short but deep dive into the African-American environmental heritage. As I’m learning that environmental conversations often exclude voices of color, I’m trying to get a lot more fluent about talking about this intersection.

📗 I’m Still Here by Austin Channing Brown – This is a challenging, important, and urgent read. I strongly recommend it for those who think they’re already doing all they can to oppose racism.

📚 Ones I haven’t gotten to yet, but up next: The Underground Railroad, The Moment of Lift, How to be an Antiracist

Abandoned: Inland by Tea Obreht – Tea’s first book, The Tiger’s Wife, is one of my unknown favorites. She’s still a terrific writer, but the Western genre just really isn’t for me.

Return Tripping

Do you get more excited to see new places? Or for return trips?

Guess what. We’ve got a return to New Orleans in the works!

🍤🍤🍤

Admittedly, I’m probably a bit biased towards the new sights. And that’s in spite of the fact that I’ve absolutely loved so many places I’ve been. But I guess my train of thought is that there are so many places in the world I want to see in my lifetime, I’ve got to be at least a little deliberate in getting out there to get to most of them.

🗾🏞🌅

That said, the appeal of going back to old favorites keeps growing over time, and there are definitely some places I’ve been where I could easily see myself having even more fun the second time around. Namely:

New Orleans – The food alone is reason to return. It felt like we barely scratched the surface on our last visit and that there’s plenty more to be seen and done. I especially want to look into an eco-friendly swamp visit.

⚜️⚜️⚜️

Vancouver – Two years ago, we went for our anniversary and did a lot of fun stuff. I bet we could return, do none of the same things, and have an equally good time. That’s how much it felt like the city was overflowing with stuff that interested us.

🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦

Cape Town – A colorful city with a bit of an edge sandwiched between a mountain and two oceans. With penguins. It’s almost as if the city was designed for my tastes. If only it weren’t really, really far to get to.

🇿🇦🇿🇦🇿🇦

Taipei – This was the last little solo-backpacking trip I took before getting married and I remember being surprised at how much I underestimated it. Taiwan has a lot of fun and quirky things, whilst being really accessible and easy to bop around.

🇹🇼🇹🇼🇹🇼

Munich – Bavaria was my favorite part of Germany. And we only passed through on a Sunday when most things were closed. I could totally see myself enjoying more time in town.

🇩🇪🇩🇪🇩🇪

Where would you go back to?

Microfinance and the Planet

Why would an environmental org care about microfinance?

You work for an environmental org, right? Why are you always talking about microfinance?

It’s a worthwhile question. People recognize the stuff Plant With Purpose does like planting trees and soil friendly farming. But you get to the part where we help rural villages start community led banking groups and that’s a little out of the frame that most people have around environmental work.

I actually think these groups are one of Plant With Purpose’s coolest program interventions. And they’re a big part of the reason our environmental work is so effective.

Traditionally, environmental causes have been looked at as quite separate from human causes. But the links between poverty and environmental damage are strong. And it goes both ways. One of the biggest causes behind rural areas’ contribution to deforestation is the lack of opportunities.

About 30% of the world is unbanked. Mostly women. Here’s how changing that creates a healthier environment.

Four Months of Rhys

Remember that time we had that baby Rhys join our lives? That was FOUR MONTHS AGO.

He keeps leveling up.

1️⃣🆙

The past month was a quieter one for us, Rhys took advantage of the time to do some serious growin’.

🍄⭐️🐢

He started sprouting little teeth. Didn’t think it could happen this early, but he kept messing with his tongue and there were some definite white teeth bits poking through.

Also we have a crawl kid now! [cue the underground theme 🎶] He’s been rolling around more often but can now officially bust out an army crawl.

I just love being this guy’s dad.

#worldofrhys

March 2020

#61 Lake Hodges Hike

01 March 2020 // Escondido, California

What if you made it your absolute mission in life to let people know that you’re glad they’re here? That they exist. That you’ve had the chance to meet them.

Think of how dogs light up when good people are around. What if you gave off that same energy?

What if we didn’t care at all about impressing anyone, about winning any arguments, or about proving anything? The only goal we put forward is to let people know we’re glad they’re around.

I’d bet a lot of the other things we worry about in our interactions would get better too.

#62 Miramar Eucalyptus

02 March 2020 // San Diego, California

What are the best books you’ve read so far this year?

I definitely can’t devour my reading list the way I used to before Rhys was born, so that’s made me want to be more selective about what I start reading. And I’ve also had to get better at abandoning books that just aren’t doing it for me.

Here’s what I’ve read in the first few weeks of the year.

Atomic Habits by James Clear – James Clear is probably one of my five favorite people I follow on Twitter. A whole book of his insight was a real treat. It was a really actionable read, and probably one of the most appropriate choices for the start of a new year.

The Book of Unknown Americans by Cristina Henríquez – First novel of the year, featuring some really empathetic characters of migrants to the USA. A little grim, but so human.

Rooted in the Earth by Dianne D. Glave – A short but deep dive into the African-American environmental heritage. As I’m learning that environmental conversations often exclude voices of color, I’m trying to get a lot more fluent about talking about this intersection.

I’m Still Here by Austin Channing Brown – This is a challenging, important, and urgent read. I strongly recommend it for those who think they’re already doing all they can to oppose racism.

Ones I haven’t gotten to yet, but up next: The Underground Railroad, The Moment of Lift, How to be an Antiracist

Abandoned: Inland by Tea Obreht – Tea’s first book, The Tiger’s Wife, is one of my unknown favorites. She’s still a terrific writer, but the Western genre just really isn’t for me.

#63 Voted Sticker

03 March 2020 // San Diego, California

In the past few years, I’ve heard more and more about how fear isn’t entirely bad. It can cause a lot of trouble when we put it in the driver’s seat, but fear has a purpose. 

Elizabeth Gilbert has been one of the best at articulating this. She highlights how we experience fear because it keeps us alive. The part of our brain that experiences fear is the part that kept us from being preyed upon by stronger species. Rather than being completely antagonistic towards fear, we can acknowledge it, thank it for the role it plays, and make a more sober decision.

The world is complex enough where two seemingly opposite things can both be true. Perfect love casts out fear. Loving others will give you more reasons to fear. But what really matters is the way we respond to scary situations. Coronavirus is the trending topic of the moment, but this is a question that comes up again and again.

When I think about our present day refugee crisis, it’s a topic where I feel very strongly that fear has gotten the better of us. We’ve somehow convinced ourselves to be afraid of some of the most vulnerable people groups on earth.

But then, the same part of the population that worries about refugee resettlement expresses little concern about climate change. Generally speaking. And the same segment of the population that argues against alarmist messaging about refugees seems to embrace it when it comes to climate. Are we too afraid? Are we not afraid enough? Maybe we just need a different way of thinking about these things altogether.

Here’s what I believe now: I still believe love is the highest calling and that perfect love casts out fear. But I don’t think that means never being afraid. It means moving through your fears, not around them, in order to do the right thing. Dismissing the concerns of other people isn’t being fearless, it’s simply being asleep to your own fear. And it isn’t helpful.

Instead, deciding to love anyways, after considering all the facts is the type of love that casts out fear. And it invites something else in its place. A loving concern. One where you’re looking out for the interests of other people in a way that’s informed, sober-minded, strategic, and wise.

#64 Rhys & Sis

04 March 2020 // San Diego, California

The most contagious virus of all is fear. But perhaps the second most contagious thing is apathy. Or complacency. Or whatever you want to call it when serious problems threaten the world’s vulnerable and those of us who are unaffected just sit accept it.

The past couple weeks, I’ve been pretty taken in by the unfolding of the coronavirus. I hate to admit that I’ve been a little fascinated by the dynamics of how the world responds to something like a quickly spreading epidemic. The outbreak’s narrative crosses paths with so many of my interests– genetics, travel, geography, problem-solving. But of course, it’s ultimately a tragedy, having claimed over 100,000 lives.

The most common reactions I see to the spread of the virus are almost totally the polar opposites of each other. One is entirely led by fear. The other is totally asleep to it.

In the face of an epidemic, panic does more harm than good. You see the cases of people stockpiling masks, hand sanitizer, and toilet paper, depleting retail supplies, creating price spikes and making it harder for the people who really need these defenses to find them. Panic is at its worst when it merges with prejudice, as we’ve seen directed at so many people of Asian heritage since the outbreak started.

On the other hand are those who have completely dismissed the virus as an overreaction. Many are eager to point out all the other things that have caused more deaths each year. To a lot of my peers, the virus isn’t that scary. They are young and healthy, and if they somehow managed to contract the virus, they’d most likely ward it off in a couple of weeks. But their response to the virus will still have an impact on people the age of my parents, or on people with more fragile immune systems like my wife. To say the virus isn’t a big deal because it only affects these populations is telling these people that their health doesn’t matter.

Neither of these responses seem right. Both the fear-driven frenzy and the insistence on inaction have the potential to do harm to a lot of people. Both prioritize the emotional needs of the individual rather than what’s best for everyone.

This past week, the virus showed up fifteen minutes from our front door. A retail employee tested positive at a nearby mall. I’ve been talking more and more with Deanna about what we’ll do if we get to the point where we need to lay low for a little while. Her work puts her in frequent contact with our local population without housing.

#65 Pick Up Here

05 March 2020 // San Diego, California

You work for an environmental org, right? Why are you always talking about microfinance?

It’s a worthwhile question. People recognize the stuff Plant With Purpose does like planting trees and soil friendly farming. But you get to the part where we help rural villages start community led banking groups and that’s a little out of the frame that most people have around environmental work.

I actually think these groups are one of Plant With Purpose’s coolest program interventions. And they’re a big part of the reason our environmental work is so effective.

Traditionally, environmental causes have been looked at as quite separate from human causes. But the links between poverty and environmental damage are strong. And it goes both ways. One of the biggest causes behind rural areas’ contribution to deforestation is the lack of opportunities.

About 30% of the world is unbanked. Mostly women. Here’s how changing that creates a healthier environment.

#66 Beignet Turns Five

06 March 2020 // San Diego, California

Look who turned five this weekend!

This one’s made the transition into being a big sister pretty nicely. As we thought she would. Our plan from the beginning was dog-then-kids, since it’s easier to keep everyone safe and trained that way. Seeing her play gently with random kids and be great with our nephews were early indicators that she’d do well with a baby.

She still tries to sneak in a lick here and there that she isn’t allowed to, but she’s been great with Rhys.

Beignet’s been a source of clumsy joy and lightness, even when things were really hard. I’m happy she gets to be part of the fun as well.

#67 Return Tripping

07 March 2020 // San Diego, California

Guess what. We’ve got a return to New Orleans in the works!

🍤🍤🍤

Admittedly, I’m probably a bit biased towards the new sights. And that’s in spite of the fact that I’ve absolutely loved so many places I’ve been. But I guess my train of thought is that there are so many places in the world I want to see in my lifetime, I’ve got to be at least a little deliberate in getting out there to get to most of them.

🗾🏞🌅

That said, the appeal of going back to old favorites keeps growing over time, and there are definitely some places I’ve been where I could easily see myself having even more fun the second time around. Namely:

New Orleans – The food alone is reason to return. It felt like we barely scratched the surface on our last visit and that there’s plenty more to be seen and done. I especially want to look into an eco-friendly swamp visit.

⚜️⚜️⚜️

Vancouver – Two years ago, we went for our anniversary and did a lot of fun stuff. I bet we could return, do none of the same things, and have an equally good time. That’s how much it felt like the city was overflowing with stuff that interested us.

🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦

Cape Town – A colorful city with a bit of an edge sandwiched between a mountain and two oceans. With penguins. It’s almost as if the city was designed for my tastes. If only it weren’t really, really far to get to.

🇿🇦🇿🇦🇿🇦

Taipei – This was the last little solo-backpacking trip I took before getting married and I remember being surprised at how much I underestimated it. Taiwan has a lot of fun and quirky things, whilst being really accessible and easy to bop around.

🇹🇼🇹🇼🇹🇼

Munich – Bavaria was my favorite part of Germany. And we only passed through on a Sunday when most things were closed. I could totally see myself enjoying more time in town.

🇩🇪🇩🇪🇩🇪

#68 Rhys at Golden Hill

08 March 2020 // San Diego, California

This feels out of character.

I’m not normally one to be on the cautious side. I think my track record over years-and-years indicates the opposite. 

But the more I’ve been following the spread of the Coronavirus, the more I’ve been thinking that it would be wise to get ahead of the curve. It seems almost inevitable to me that it’ll make its way to California at some point, and I think it’s about time to make plans for what we’ll do when it’s widespread here.

I simply need to make sure this thing doesn’t make its way to Deanna.

The more planning I can do to stay ahead of things, the less I have to be worried about.

That part of me isn’t out of character, I guess. I’ve always been a planner. Except, rather than planning how to avoid bad outcomes, I’ve been planning around how to make my dreams happen. Then again, maybe those dreams simply mean making sure my family stays safe.

#69 Moment of Lift

09 March 2020 // San Diego, California

I keep thinking about something Abby Edelstein said last week at Creative Mornings- definitely the quote that stuck with me the most:

Fear will get you to keep saying yes to stuff that gets in the way.

I can’t stop thinking about how true that is.

It’s the reason why it’s tempting to keep belaboring over figuring out things that aren’t that essential, while putting off making a push to the things I want.

I know this is true for me a lot of the time. And to make it less true, I think it’ll be important to recognize the “wrong yesses” I often say.

Yes to waiting on having the perfect site and media library, rather than just making good stuff.

Yes to waiting for a king sized community, rather than just throwing the events I dream of.

Yes to having my “brand” figured out, rather than speaking up about what’s important as I see it.

Time to say better yesses.

#70 2020 Staff Retreat

10 March 2020 // San Diego, California

Our staff retreat today was really focused on feedback. Especially using a model for giving helpful, constructive feedback. The whole thing felt quite similar to some of our premarital counseling activities, actually.

I used to be quite averse to confrontation. Then I started to force myself towards it, but in a clumsy way that wasn’t totally me.

But, since I’ve started paying attention to people who do such a good job of speaking honestly in a challenging and constructive way, it’s made me see the value of helpful feedback and being more direct. I’ve drifted quite a bit to the other end of the spectrum where I’m generally comfortable bringing stuff up and want to keep getting better at it.

#71 Scott in Green

11 March 2020 // San Diego, California

During our staff retreat, we had a collaborative activity meant to be a challenge. Midway through, we had to evaluate how we were performing on a scale from 1-5.

Amidst all the all the 4s and 5s, I gave us 2s and 3s.

I did have a vantage point in the exercise to see areas where we weren’t doing well, but, I was also able to see so much more potential to be better. I think it might surprise people to find me as a tough grader, but that’s often how I roll.

Partly, I’d love to reserve the highest grades for people who really achieve a certain wow factor with what they do.

I’m not a critical person, but at the same time, I am pretty keen on seeing potential. And if I can see how something could potentially be better, then I can’t just give it the highest grade.

I hope that when it comes to feedback, I’m affirming of what’s working, while still always challenging others to see the way things could be better.

#72 Contingency Planner

12 March 2020 // San Diego, California

I’ve been quiet on here. Much like the rest of the world, my life came to a pretty sudden pause.

My focus the past few weeks has been almost singular: keeping my family safe. We have some risk factors that led us to going into full isolation.

I’ll give an update soon enough about how that’s been going, but for now, we’re well. I am so glad we started taking more precautions earlier in the spread. It isn’t like me to be easily worried, but there’s a reason we have that inner voice we need to listen to sometimes.

In the meantime, just keep doing the next right thing.

It’s a simple idea, but also a profound spiritual practice, and the way we’ll move forward.

One of these days, Rhys and I will get to chat about this weird moment in history that struck four months after he was born. I want to be proud of what I tell him about how we handled this time.

#73 Playing With Mom

13 March 2020 // San Diego, California

I’ve realized that this moment will perhaps be the biggest historical event that I live through. In that event, I think it’ll be helpful to write down everything as it happens for Rhys someday.

Dear Rhys,

You came into the world at a really wild time. Just four months into being your dad, we were hit with a global pandemic.

Apparently, you’re only about a month or two older than the coronavirus that’s been going around. It started infecting humans somewhere in China in late December. Since then, small outbreaks have happened in Hong Kong, Singapore, and Korea. Things got pretty bad in the latter, but they figured out how to get a handle on things fast.

Then it made its way to Italy. Spain. Iran. And here in the US.

Then it ended up in a nursing home in Seattle and a cruise ship in San Francisco. Quietly, a lot of travelers brought it to different cities from Europe.

Now it’s close to us, and everywhere. And it’s time that it’ll disrupt our lives for a bit in some way.

At first I started tracking this virus out of curiosity. The challenge of stopping a pandemic is a fascinating one. But now, all that tracking pays off. I’ve been slowly asking more what-if questions. What if it shows up in our city.

This week, we know it’s here, and it’s time to act.

#74 Quilted Chillin’

14 March 2020 // San Diego, California

Dear Rhys,

On my way home from work yesterday, we discovered that this virus made its way into the NBA, Congress, and Tom Hanks.

In other words, it’s all over the place.

This virus is only three months old, meaning that there’s only so much we know about it. What we know is that it’s main effects are shortness of breath, extreme weakness, lung scarring, and a really intense pneumonia.

It tends to be fatal for the elderly, or people with chronic conditions. Like the lung issues your mom has.

This is why for the time ahead, my number one goal, far-and-away will be to keep this virus away from your mom.

The scary part is that the disease is devastating to some, but invisible in most. It takes about two weeks for symptoms to show up. It looks like about 80% of the people who have the virus have no symptoms but can pass it on to others. It’s also next to impossible to get tested right now, so it’s quite easy to get exposed to it without knowing.

It looks like it isn’t enough to track the sick people and to stay away from them. You can get infected by people who otherwise seem well.

Another scary thing I read was a study from UCSF that projects 40-70% of Californians will be infected in the next year or so. I wish that projection came from a less reputable source. So… how do we keep your mom out of that population?

Right now, we’ll be figuring how to cut ourselves off from interacting with anybody else who might have been exposed or infected. It won’t be easy to avoid everybody except for each other and you, but we have pretty strong reasons for wanting to do so.

We love you and we’re planning on being around for you.

#75 Stuck Inside

15 March 2020 // San Diego, California

Dear Rhys,

Things with this virus change very quickly. One minute I thought that our decision to isolate ourselves was an advanced step, necessary because of your mom’s health risks.

Turns out, we weren’t that far ahead of the rest of the world. It looks like soon enough the whole State of California will have a mandatory lockdown. It won’t surprise me if there’s one over the whole country before long.

We’re collectively separated, all in quarantine.

I know that under normal conditions, I probably would’ve found a way to use this time to get super productive. After all, I wrote most of my Master’s thesis when your mom was once hospitalized for a week. I’m not easily slowed down. But this time around, in between planning and working from home, all I can do is keep refreshing for updates.

I know that this moment will pass, and eventually I’ll get stir crazy and need to do more. For now, I think it’s fair if that takes some time.

Right now, we all have much more of that than we used to.

#76 Feeding the Rhys

16 March 2020 // San Diego, California

Dear Rhys,

In the middle of a pandemic, everyone’s biggest concern is not getting sick and not spreading the sickness to others.

But that definitely isn’t the only concern.

When people can’t gather, people can’t work. People lose jobs. Millions did overnight. Suddenly our old economic systems don’t work anymore, though if you asked a lot of people, it already hasn’t been working.

A lot of different governments and leaders in the world have been criticized, fairly in my opinion, for not acting swift or strong enough to stop the spread. Many neglected testing and under reported cases to make things appear normal. There was a real reluctance to trigger a public reaction. I think a lot of people were worried about what that would do to the economy.

I think the lesson here is that whenever you prioritize the economy over people’s security, both ultimately suffer. In this case, more people got sick because we weren’t prepared sooner. Because so many got sick, the economy tanked.

Always keep people as the priority.

#77 Quarantined Rhys

17 March 2020 // San Diego, California

Dear Rhys,

I did the math. With about 50reported cases of the virus in San Diego, and 10,000 people exposed for every reported case on average, there are about 50,000 people here who have been exposed. That means 1 in 30 people we come across are potential carriers of the virus. That number will only go up. It is conceivable of how half the population could end up exposed to this.

We need to get out of San Diego. Not that other cities are necessarily safer, but our condo here won’t work. Someone next door keeps coughing. Plus Ron wears scrubs often- meaning he’s probably highly exposed to the virus. Walking Beignet gets scary, having to suit up, avoiding the doorknob, and so on.

I’m going to see about the Aunts and if Carson might be a better place to stay. If this thing keeps growing at this rate, one of our neighbors will for sure be infected.

#78 Coronavirus

18 March 2020 // Carson, California

Dear Rhys,

We made it out of San Diego.

We got ahold of Auntie Ella and Auntie Fely. They’re both at a high risk age, so I’m glad they have been taking the safety measures very seriously. They haven’t seen anyone but each other for about a week, and they’ve shown no symptoms of the virus.

Deanna and I have decided to make our journey to Carson and that we’ll be staying there for the foreseeable future.

It’ll be interesting… caring for you at four months old, while the two of them are in their 80s, and your mom and I try to keep up with our workload. They have a backyard area, which will be good for Beignet to be able to roam around in. Their gated community also seems like it’ll be much more secure than any other options we have.

I am so thankful that they are willing to have us here. Their generosity really is bottomless, and you can see why Auntie Ella is the sort of person I wanted you to be named after.

Quarantining is always better when you aren’t alone, I suppose, and I’m glad that we’ve got this crew all together.

#79 Shelter in Carson

19 March 2020 // Carson, California

Dear Rhys,

Tonight I had to venture out into the world. One grocery run, and a stop at CVS to pick up some medicine for Auntie Ella.

I can’t say I enjoyed it. It was kind of a nerve-wracking experience being outside and having to do everything I could to avoid exposure to people.

Here’s what going out was like:

I changed into an outside outfit. A t-shirt and some jeans, plus a raincoat I’ve been throwing on top as an outer layer. I put a mask on and gloves and once those are on, there’s absolutely no more face-touching. This became a nuisance when some hair started to drop in front of my face, but it just wasn’t worth it. In the raincoat’s pocket I keep a thing of sanitizer, that way I could pump some and rub onto things like my credit cards after touching them or swiping them, etc.

My first stop was at a Filipino grocery, to try and pick up rice among other things. This market was packed with people, especially since rice was in short supply. I knew it wasn’t a good spot to be. I avoided crossing paths with anyone as much as possible, and when I did I held my breath. In line, I managed to try and force distance in between people.

Unfortunately, a lot of the people in the market were wearing scrubs, one person wearing an airport uniform. These are some of the most exposed professions, so I had to try extra hard to avoid them.

CVS was a little easier, as was Albertsons. I tried getting what I needed while keeping a massive distance between myself and anyone else.

Outside, I noticed a lot of careless people. One person wore a face mask but kept fiddling with it. Another person wore gloves but couldn’t stop touching her face. And there were a lot of people not keeping their distance.

I wouldn’t be surprised if some people I saw out there tonight exchanged the virus. It is a bit comforting, though, to know that there was probably nobody there being more cautious than me. I’m glad I was out there rather than your mom or the aunts.

#80 Isolating With The Aunts

20 March 2020 // Carson, California

Dear Rhys,

Not only has this virus interrupted everything, but its threat will probably also tank the world’s economy. Hardly anyone can go to work right now, millions have already lost their jobs, and this will be rough on small businesses.

Here’s a short list of small/local places I really hope survive. I want you to experience them someday:

Café du Monde (New Orleans)

The Book Catapult

Powell’s Books (Portland)

The Last Bookstore (LA)

Momofuku

Pop Pie Co.

Cafeina

Salud 

The Bijou (Eugene)

#81 Quarantine: Carson

21 March 2020 // Carson, California

Dear Rhys,

Tonight we did something a little different while everyone was quarantined. Trivia night.

I managed to use a Zoom line to start an 8-way video call. I wrote up a bunch of questions to comprise several rounds. And we went at it like a night out at a pub, except with every person in their own homes.

A few of us thought it was a welcome distraction from everything going on. It was great to be able to talk to others, at the very least.

I sometimes wish my gift during a time of crisis could involve playing the role of problem solver. More often than not, though, I think it looks like finding a way to light up dark spaces and dark times. To be the scavenger who can always figure out how to find some joy. To laugh in the face of peril and make everyone feel like they can keep going.

Maybe that’s not a bad role to play after all.

#82 Quarantined Trivia Night

22 March 2020 // Carson, California

Dear Rhys,

Our church started a phone tree. Each of us deacons were given a short list of names of people to call to reach out to, so we could see if they need anything.

I got about three people who answered for me, including Ed.

I’m glad that we go to a church that does stuff like this. That has a community like this.

The next time things are safe enough for people at church to see you again, you’re going to be a humongous boy. It’ll be nuts.

#83 Doctors RxTra Special

23 March 2020 // Carson, California

Dear Rhys,

I’ve often thought that a more grateful world would equal a better world. I suppose at some point in the future we’ll have a sense for how true that is.

Uncertain times lay ahead. I know that once some signs of normalcy reappear, we’ll be hungry for em. Whenever they announce the starters for the first NBA game. Whenever street buskers reappear in Brooklyn subway stations and piazzas in Milan. Whenever Trader Joe’s and Costco hand out samples again. We’re gonna look so fondly on the ordinary.

But it won’t really be a return. There’s no way we don’t emerge from this pause as a different world. What kind of world’s it gonna be? We get to choose! Let’s make it one where we’re always looking out for the most vulnerable, where we’re always asking how we can help each other, and where we never take a damn “ordinary” thing for granted.

#84 RHYS’ BREAKFAST

24 March 2020 // Carson, California

Dear Rhys,

When did Will Smith tell us all that “danger is real but fear is a choice?” (It was in that movie After Earth he did with Jaden. Never saw it, but great quote, Will)

🌎🌍🌏

About a month or two ago, I started tracking this virus outbreak. Deanna has some risk factors, so I started asking myself what we would need to do if it were to make its way towards Southern California. At first it felt very hypothetical, though I’d make larger grocery purchases of frozen and canned things than usual. Then about a week before things really went haywire, I realized it was time for us to pull back from going into the office.

We’ve been effectively self-isolating for two weeks at this point. I’m so thankful I was a bit early to resort to those measures- by being even just a couple days ahead we significantly reduced our risk.

Since then, we’ve made our way out of San Diego.

Being on the more cautious end of the spectrum felt a little out of character for me. I constantly talk about how fear isn’t the answer, and I spend a lot of time with people and in places wrongfully considered scary.

The thing that’s becoming more clear to me is that giving into fear is different than being aware of possible dangers. If you’re aware, you can be more strategic. In the long run, it gives you and the people around you less to fear.

😷😷😷

One other thing, I wear a mask on the occasions that I need to step away from the house for a bit since I’m taking care of three high-risk people and a baby right now and I can’t afford to bring anything home. If you’re not in a vulnerable circumstance and you do have masks or other PPE like them around, do figure out how to get them to your local hospital ASAP.

#85 GRASSROOTS ON COVID-19

25 March 2020 // Carson, California

Dear Rhys,

This virus is a big reminder of how vulnerable all of our lives are, and how our sense of security is mostly an illusion.

While all this is going on, I wonder about the most vulnerable communities. The rural communities across Asia, Africa, and Latin America I’ve spent most of my life trying to be close to. Right now, physical proximity would be reckless, but I am thinking about them.

Most African and Latin American countries have reported small numbers of Coronavirus infections, mostly among people who’ve traveled between capital cities and economic hubs. The poorest communities are often rural, and their remote locations may be their best defense. Never have I been more thankful for the fact that it takes such a long and bumpy ride to get to these parts of Haiti, Tanzania, and beyond.

But if this virus makes its way to those parts, it’s effects will be awful. Many people have health problems and medical infrastructure is minimal.

I released a new, unplanned, episode of the #grassrootspodcast to talk about how Plant With Purpose is responding to the pandemic. Stream via the link in my bio.

#86 rhys outside

26 March 2020 // Carson, California

Dear Rhys,

You know one of the hardest parts of this pandemic?

How long it takes.

Length is good, though. One of the most important things the world has learned is why it’s important to “flatten the curve” or have people get sick over a longer stretch of time rather than all at once. Everybody getting sick at the same time might be faster, but it would also overwhelm hospitals and lead to more deaths that could’ve been prevented.

But better doesn’t make it any easier. It’s still March (somehow) and it looks like things won’t even begin to make strides towards normalcy until July. And that’s just speculative. China is still shut down and they’re about three months ahead of us. Plus we’ve been cautioned against a fall resurgence of the virus.

I’ve had to wait a while for a lot of good things in life. Finishing grad school. Being your dad. I know waiting can be difficult but that it can also produce more spiritual maturity than most things.

I’m curious to see what will happen the further into this we go.

#87 MEDICAL CERTIFICATES

27 March 2020 // Carson, California

Dear Rhys,

I don’t participate much in conversations about what churches should and shouldn’t do at a given moment. They’re rarely productive, and I generally tend to just try and support those making good decisions while stepping away from the others, hoping to incrementally make them less visible.

I did see an idea on Twitter that struck a chord, though.

Covid is a revealing what the Church is about.

Some Churches: "How do we deliver an excellent product that people need every week?"

Other Churches: "How do we equip our people for loving their neighbors every week?"

When I think of the way our church has struggled with the technology to make stuff streamable, but has really engaged its task force of deacons and elders in calling people to make sure they’re okay, it indicates to me that we’re more of the latter, and that’s a good thing.

I wonder if now that churches really can’t rely on theatrics anymore, they can’t simply lean on good branding, a trendy looking crowd, and aesthetics, they’ll be much more noticed for their substance, their content, and their heart.

I hope this freedom from distraction does a net good to believers and seekers who need substance more than style.

#88 TRANSFER TO BAKERSFIELD

28 March 2020 // Bakersfield, California

Dear Rhys,

Today we transferred our quarantine site from Carson to Bakersfield, we’ll be staying with your Nana and Papa.

I have mixed feelings about the switch, partly because we were really comfortable in Carson and it felt like that site was working well. I loved that you got to spend some time with my aunts and that you were able to give them some joy at a time that is really difficult for them. I felt relatively safe- minus that one precarious grocery run.

However, being in Bakersfield and having Nana and Papa around will help your mom and I get work done while you’re in the mix. It’s also an area less impacted by the virus and hopefully that means we’re safer.

Plus, depending on how long this goes, there might be a lot of time for different changes in scenery.

You’ve probably never been part of a global quarantine before. Don’t be surprised that there’s a learning curve. It’s my rookie year too.

#89 TRIKAFTA

29 March 2020 // Bakersfield, California

Here’s a shortcut to making better choices:

Ask yourself, if a million other people also did this what I’m doing, what would the world be like?

This doesn’t apply only to quarantine. Thinking like this makes me want to let less food go to waste. To try and support more ethical businesses even if it costs an extra buck. To be more mindful of my carbon footprint.

Turns out, it’s a pretty good way to think in a pandemic.

I’ve heard a lot of people asking around if one activity or another is a good or bad idea during a pandemic. Going on a hike? Jogging on deserted streets? Shooting a basketball by yourself in the park pretending to beat a team of Monstars?

No shame in not knowing, since you probably haven’t quarantined with the entire world before. And different places have different degrees of restriction, though it’s hard to be too cautious.

If a million people did their cardio in isolation, on empty streets, at staggered times, that’d probably be fine. If a million people showed up at the trailhead, that’s not so good.

If a million people ordered food from a struggling mom and pop Chinese restaurant and sent one extra meal to hospital workers... that’d be real amazing.

This is a mental shortcut so there are of course exceptions and times when this doesn’t apply. But hey, it’s so easy to overlook how our small choices impact plenty of other people. This way of thinking helps!

#90 My Quarantine Buddy

30 March 2020 // Bakersfield, California

What a month.

In a parallel universe, where there’s not a pandemic happening, we would’ve just finished back-to-back weekends in Palm Springs and Sacramento with friends. We’d be getting ready for a big Earth Day event in Texas and then spending my birthday week in New Orleans. In the background I’d be putting together plans for a summer trip to Africa- and I’ve been really itching to get back out into the field.

Instead, we’ve been living in guest rooms at my aunts’ and my in-laws’.

It’s totally legit to be disappointed at all the cancelled things. More than ever I’d love to be in a big house with friends on a weekend getaway, or on an African adventure. But I simultaneously find myself so thankful for a lot of things.

I’m thankful that Deanna and I have fairly resilient jobs that we’re still passionate about. I’m thankful they’ve given us the flexibility to adapt to remote work.

I’m thankful that I get to spend so much time with Rhys at a really fun age. If I’ve got to be quarantined, might as well be with the people I love most.

I’m thankful for aunts and in-laws who have generously had us over while our San Diego living situation was less than ideal.

I’m thankful we started taking things seriously pretty early. It’s still a scary time, but those advanced precautions have made it a lot less scary.

I’m thankful for trivia night on Zoom, Houseparty, new books, Onward, a new season of Kim’s Convenience tonight, and podcast recording. This quarantine would’ve been much harder in the 90s.

Love y’all.

#91 Five Months of Rhys

31 March 2020 // Bakersfield, California

I’m feeling so much appreciation for the healthcare workers of the world right now.

This moment should rightfully challenge our ideas of what careers and societal roles are seen as heroic. We can survive without talk show hosts and athletes and influencers. We’d be totally screwed without people on the frontlines of our health services.

I am completely moved by the selflessness of doctors, nurses, transporters, technicians, food and custodial teams, public health officials, and researchers right now. On the other side of all this, I hope they’re given so much special recognition by our reimagined world.

I’m proud to be from a Filipino family FULL of medics. Doctor dad. Nurse mom. Nurse aunt. Doctor aunt.

I’m thankful for all the healthcare workers who took care of my wife as a kid, long before we met. For the ones in Portland who helped us through a pretty scary infection four years ago. For our OB who helped us successfully navigate a pregnancy with all kinds of complications.

Being a healer is one of the highest callings.