The Stuck-at-Home International Film Festival: Part Three

Ready for one more round of International Film Favorites? Here we go!

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I’ve had a lot of fun highlighting a sampler platter of favorite international movies for the Stuck-at-Home International Film Festival. There’s a good chance that this will be the final entry, partly because if I were to do another round, I’d need to find more movies! (If you know of any I NEED to check out, let me know!) In the meantime, I’m ready to share my final batch of foreign films and the answer to a pretty good question: how do you even find good international movies?

Here are just a few tips:

ASK FRIENDS // Especially your international friends, of course. Whenever I get to know somebody from another country, after a while, I usually ask for a film recommendation. They might also volunteer their two cents about what’s unique about films from their countries and that’s where I learn a lot. This is how I’ve discovered Jerusalema, Shoplifters, and other favorites.

LET AIRLINES DO THE WORK FOR YOU // Of course, this doesn’t work right now, but eventuallyyy. International flights used to be my best place for catching up on movies, and I would try to make at least half of them international films. International airlines need to appeal to pretty broad tastes from different regions of the world, and I almost always discover something new. KLM, Air New Zealand, and Cathay Pacific have had some of my favorite selections, and Ethiopian Airlines steps it up for African cinema.

PRETEND TO GO TO INTERNATIONAL FILM FESTIVALS // This includes the big names like Cannes, Venice, Banff, Toronto, SXSW, as well as local gems like the Busan International Film Festival or even something like San Diego’s Asian Film Festival. I know, they’re expensive… but you can at least learn about what films might be interesting and keep tabs on them for later.

Now for the final batch of films, including a gorgeously animated French feature, an indie favorite from New Zealand, and a gangster flick full of heart from South Africa.

SOUTH AFRICA • 2008

Jerusalema: Gangster’s Paradise

What’s this about: This story follows the life of a South African man from his boyhood in one of Johannesburg’s most violent neighborhoods to his adult life as the leader of a gang empire running a apartment-hijacking operation. It’s a gangster flick for sure, but one with so much heart.

What’s interesting: This film is set in Hillbrow, the neighborhood of South Africa where I’ve spent a lot of time. This movie does a pretty good job explaining a lot of the crime dynamics that were highly present in that area- especially in the early-mid 2000’s. It came highly recommended to me by the guys I met in Johannesburg.

You might like this if: you love character driven films. If you liked Metro Manila from earlier in this film festival, you’ll probably like this one too. Even if the term “gangster flick” seems like a turn-off to you, I recommend giving this a shot anyways.

My thoughts: This is one of the older movies on this list, but I simply couldn’t leave it off. It’s one of my favorite films of all time, and easily my favorite film from South Africa– a country that’s produced a few gems.

Where to watch: Tubi

FRANCE • 2019

I Lost My Body

What’s this about: A young man who can’t seem to succeed at anything loses his hand (you’ll find out how later in the film). The film goes back and forth from following his hand’s journey to find the rest of his body to flashbacks that eventually reveal his moving life story. Oh, and it’s animated. (Which makes the concept of a severed hand more bearable.)

What’s interesting: The animation! Honestly, this film is BEAUTIFUL and I think it features some of the strongest animation work I’ve seen. This also gets bonus international points for being a French production that features a family from Morocco.

You might like this if: you like beautiful, ethereal things. Really. It gave me the feeling of watching other-worldly pieces of art from my high school years… think Pan’s Labyrinth type vibes.

My thoughts: This is simply one of my favorite films that appears on any of these lists. It doesn’t get nearly the amount of praise it deserves. Go watch it!

Where to watch: Netflix

NEW ZEALAND • 2016

Hunt for the Wilderpeople

What’s this about: A foster child, emotionally exhausted from being shuffled from one temporary stay to the next, finally finds a good home with a foster mother. But when she unexpectedly dies, he’s stuck with her more rough-around-the-edges husband and the two run away into the wild to avoid being arrested and re-homed.

What’s interesting: This was Taika Waiti’s breakout film that put him on the map for mainstream U.S.-productions like Thor: Ragnarok and Jojo Rabbit. You can definitely catch on to his quirky but heartful sense of humor in its pure element. The gorgeous landscape shots of the New Zealand brush add to the experience.

You might like this if: you want something that’s meaningful but still overall light-hearted. I know that can’t be said about the majority of the films in this lineup, so this serves as a good change in tone.

My thoughts: Here’s another big personal fave. In the mid 2000s, Son of Rambow was my go-to charmer of a film. Hunt for the Wilderpeople appears to be a spiritual successor. In many ways the tone and humor of the film remind me of a grounded Wes Anderson movie, less reliant on style.

Where to watch: Amazon Prime

GHANA • 2016

Children of the Mountain

What’s this about: A woman’s child is born with a cleft palate and other ailments, and he becomes a victim to cruelty and bullying. A lot of this mistreatment is the result of superstitious beliefs, leading the mother to think that her “dirty womb” was the problem. She goes on a journey to find a healer to create a better future.

What’s interesting: This film gives more of an insider-look at how traditional beliefs might coexist or conflict with other medical concerns in this setting. This film was very much a passion project of it’s director, a Ghanian who grew up on a lot of U.S. films and aspired to a higher level of production than what was expected of her. A lot of the film’s grassroots fundraising efforts to be produced were paid off greatly.

You might like this if: you love an underdog story, because this film is an underdog story on such a wide variety of levels. I should throw in a trigger warning because there are some scenes of sexual abuse and trauma at the hands of a false healer. 

My thoughts: I was truly impressed by this film and its level of production, as well as the quality of its storytelling. The visuals were such an impressive element as well.

Where to watch: Tubi

JAPAN • 2018

Shoplifters

What’s this about: A family in poverty relies on shoplifting and reselling goods to survive. When one of their nightly outings leads the to a girl who has been apparently abused by her own family, they take her in to join their unusual crew.

What’s interesting: The perspective that this film gives on what it means to live below-the-radar is a truly interesting one. I think the way this film explores a marginalized life runs parallel to the success of the Korean film Parasite the year after. The persistence of class separation in relatively affluent East Asian nations offers a wealth of themes to explore.

You might like this if: you love films like Moonlight or First Reformed that successfully display beauty in a setting that we might not instinctively think of as “beautiful.” The theme of how love doesn’t fit into clean lines is so richly explored.

My thoughts: I loved the characters of this movie, and I did think it was a bit like Parasite, with less wild plot devices. The setting of Japan’s alleyways was so visually rich, too. One of my favorite films from 2008.

Where to watch: Hulu

ROMANIA • 2019

The Whistlers

What’s this about: A mafia’s whistle-blower goes off to an obscure Spanish island to learn an ancient language communicated by whistling. This language will allow him to communicate in spite of police surveilance to get a mob leader out of prison. Said mob leader knows the location of millions of hidden euros.

What’s interesting: It feels a little bit like Romanian cinema is starting to take off a bit, especially the thriller genre. This is one film that captures that momentum really well. It is interesting how organized crime is a theme that translates across a lot of international film cultures and Romania is no exception.

You might like this if: you like a good puzzle film and thriller. This has a lot of the same elements of a classic heist movie- a lot of lingering tension, drawn out suspense, and characters you aren’t totally sure about. Plus it’s extremely stylish.

My thoughts: This was at times very fast paced and at times very slow, but I think it’s a very classic thriller in a lot of ways and a good intro to Romanian cinema.

Where to watch: Enzian. It isn’t free, but you can find ways to stream this through their platform that support local theatres.

ARGENTINA • 2017

Zama

What’s this about: Set in the Colonial Era, a Spanish officer stuck in South America waits for the king to send him to a different location. As he keeps waiting, he must continually satisfy the needs of a series of governors beneath him as he grows increasingly impatient. 

What’s interesting: This is both a colonial period piece and a dystopian castaway-type story. The storyline of mounting impatience and frustration of an unending wait seems especially timely, despite the fact that this is set in the late 1700’s.

You might like this if: like films like The Favourite that feature quirky humor against a quirky backdrop of a time period that seemed to take itself too seriously.

My thoughts: I found this film to be a bit long and it took a while for me to get too into the plot. Once things got going, it picked up substantially. I appreciated the visuals, aesthetic, and bright color work of this film.

Where to watch: Amazon Prime

What’s a rural African village to do during COVID-19?

The remoteness of certain villages are currently a defense. But they could be a detriment in an outbreak.

Three years ago, I got to visit a remote Tanzanian area called Rombo. Looking at a map, it looks like it’s close to Mount Kilimanjaro, but the actual journey there makes it feel close to nothing.

To get there, we had to take an all-wheel drive jeep up some extremely steep slopes. You know those cartoons where a supervillain lives on top of a very pointy mountain, and to get to their lair you have to take this narrow path that keeps spiraling upward? That’s what driving on the rocky road to Rombo felt like. Except that narrow path would be bumpy with rocks and pits across the dirt road surface. The whole vehicle bumped and vibrated on its way up.

When we got to the village, community members rushed out towards us. They were holding and waving palm fronds, singing to us in Swahili and cheering at the top of their lungs. Tanzanian culture is extremely hospitable and puts an emphasis on welcoming people, but if I didn’t know any better, I would think they were cheering on our long trek up the mountain.

This summer, I was supposed to visit another remote community. One in the Democratic Republic of Congo, this time. I already started planning how to get there. My trip would start with an international border crossing by land, a five hour drive to the nearest small town, and then hours of steep hiking on foot to get to the village.

Of course, that trip has been cancelled by COVID-19. Or postponed, I prefer to say.

I visit these places because I love them. I also visit them for work. My work with Plant With Purpose allows me to meet the people who are on the front lines of fighting climate change. They often live in countries like Tanzania or DR Congo. Their communities revolve around agriculture. Most of them lack healthy land, which is why these sorts of rural populations represent 85% of people in poverty around the world.

Plant With Purpose aims to help these communities by forming groups where they can develop sustainable farming skills, land management plans, and economic empowerment. Unfortunately, they haven’t been able to meet in over a month. Mass tree planting events haven’t been able to go on as scheduled. My colleagues working overseas have largely been confined to their homes as well.

The coronavirus is disruptive there like it is here. But over there, people’s lives were already full of challenges.

As of mid-April, there are around 20,000 confirmed cases of COVID-19 in Africa, and testing is severely limited. A lot of talk has emerged lately about what things would look like if COVID-19 outbreaks were to strike the developing world. As of right now, around 80% of known active COVID-19 cases are in the United States and Europe. But that could change. If the disease spreads into Africa, what would happen?

It wouldn’t be good. The World Economic Forum described Africa as a “ticking time-bomb to defuse.”

My friends in these communities are at a high risk. Malnutrition, untreated illnesses, and underlying health conditions are common. I also think of the homes that many of them live in and how difficult their arrangements would make it to self-isolate.

Perhaps one of their biggest risk factors is the lack of access to medical care and hospital infrastructure. I have no idea how long it would take to get from Rombo to the nearest hospital. I do know that the largest city in the Eastern Congo has 24 ICU beds. South Sudan only has four ventilators. Liberia only has three.

I must note that Africa does have some unique resilience factors as well. Its population, for starters, is on average much younger than the United States’ or Europe. The average African tends to travel between cities a lot less frequently than the average American, European, or even Chinese citizen, which further reduces risk. It’s also worth noting that one of the countries that has had the most success at limiting the spread of the virus and caring for its patients has been Rwanda. They aren’t getting enough attention for it. But we can balance these reasons to be optimistic alongside our valid reasons to be concerned.

Right now, their best defense is their remote locations. 

I think of that bumpy road to Rombo, or that on-foot journey through the Congo in a whole new light now. Those treacherous and extremely inconvenient journeys might ultimately help stop the virus from getting there. We asked all our colleagues to halt travel into remote villages to avoid potentially bringing in the disease.

(Now is probably a good time to note that it’s not just Africa where we work, but also Mexico, Haiti, the Dominican Republic, and Thailand. But the same dynamics apply.)

The most important thing for us to do right now is to continue to keep the virus out of the villages where we work.

The next thing is to prepare our partnering communities for what’s next.

Plant With Purpose values its relationships with each of the communities it serves. We’ve worked hard to earn the trust of community members. As the outbreak spread, we knew we would have some opportunity to help, but we need to think through what that would look like.

I’ll spare all the details of what happened next, but basically, I made phone calls. Emails were sent back and forth between the U.S. and Canada and the Dominican Republic and Tanzania and so on. I hopped on Zoom meetings. More phone calls. Emails again. And on the other side of it all was the birth of one of the more unique campaigns I’ve ever been a part of.

We launched the Readiness and Resilience Fund. What makes this campaign especially unique was that rather than raising funds for a specifically mapped-out project, we are building a contingency fund to be used in the best way possible depending on what’s to happen.

We realized that there were three scenarios we needed to prepare for: The one we’re in, the one we want to avoid, and the one we’ll face soon enough.

Scenario One: Where we are

Right now we’re at a point where COVID-19 is present in each* of the countries where we work, but outbreaks haven’t happened in our communities.

Our mission right now is to do everything within our power to keep the disease out of these areas.

Based on some of the places I’ve described, that might seem easy enough. Who’s going to be scaling mountains and walking 10K to a village at a time like this?

Well, many of the people who are from these communities but moved to big cities for work might. During the 2010 earthquake, many Haitians in Port Au Prince sought refuge in the country’s rural areas. That would be much more dangerous when it’s a pandemic, rather than a natural disaster, that creates this movement.

The other challenge is making sure all our communities have the right information to combat the disease. Many of our communities include marginalized populations, so literacy and language may be issues in making sure they actually have appropriate access to this information.

Right now, the fund helps us adapt to being able to address these needs.

We’ve put our heads together with other nonprofits to share resources with our community groups about how to best implement social distancing guidelines. We’ve also started using our very localized connections to make sure important information gets out to each community.

Scenario Two: What we hope doesn’t happen

The worst case scenario would be an outbreak in one of our communities.

I’ve already mentioned the heightened risk factors. The impossibility of properly self-isolating in a village setting if you get sick. The shortage of proper medical equipment and treatment facilities.

In this scenario there simply wouldn’t be much we could immediately do. We couldn’t suddenly build an adequate hospital in a remote village during a crisis. We’d be relying on investments we’ve already made in local resilience.

Of course, we would still pray for opportunities to do something. If a localized effort pops up that we could support, we’d gladly throw our weight behind it. We’ve already formed partnerships with local health organizations to be able to do that quickly if needed. But hopefully not.

Scenario Three: The inevitable aftermath

People aren’t talking about this threat nearly as much right now, but they will soon enough.

This pandemic has sunk the global economy. And these rural villages are going to really suffer as a result.

We have a historical reason to see this coming. As recently as 2008, the mega-recession caused a spike in food prices in places with already low food security. In short, poverty got a lot worse in places that already had it pretty bad.

Communities like Rombo represent the foundation of the world’s food supply. And that’s one thing that has been drastically rocked by the pandemic. Coffee growers in Tanzania who used to be able to sell their produce to a co-op for it to eventually make its way to the United States are seeing radical shifts in the demand for their products. In some instances, demand shrinks, lowering the value of their goods.

Even the simple act of buying food has become difficult.

In the Congo, many people buy their food needs at local outdoor markets, which have effectively been closed down for the time being. If you live in a remote village, your one means of food is now what you’re able to grow. Thankfully, we’ve been working to help people grow one extra meal a day through our environmental work. But it’s still a challenge.

I believe the work Plant With Purpose does is already one of the most ideal and sustainable solutions to extreme poverty and food insecurity. An amplified version of our typical approach can help restore food security and economic health rapidly. That means fewer people going hungry in the short term.

After Haiti’s earthquake, we put together a cash-for-work program there that provided people with immediate access to funds for performing essential tasks to get things back up and running. In Thailand, we’re helping people adjust what they farm to produce crops that grow quickly enough to feed people with urgency.

I think this is where we’ll have the best impact.

Here’s a map of how that might look

We’re in the process of raising $400,000 to be used in response to COVID-19. How it’ll be used will depend on how the three scenarios I describe unfold. In short, it may be used for:

• Scenario One: Spreading accurate and accessible information, helping groups adapt to social distancing

• Scenario Two: Emergency procedures that are appropriate and necessary, working with local health organizations to respond to immediate needs

• Scenario Three: Rebuilding local economies and solving the immediate problem of food shortages

This isn’t the easiest time to be launching a campaign to raise $400,000. Much of my team isn’t totally sure where that’ll come from. It’s a big number for a time when millions of people lose their jobs each week. But I believe in this campaign, and I think enough people will too so that small gifts will add up. And they’ll go a really long way in a place like Rombo.

For more information on the Readiness & Resilience Fund, visit the Plant With Purpose site. And if you’re able to help… please do! Our help is needed now more than ever.

Disclaimer 1: Even though I work for Plant With Purpose and regularly write content with a similar focus to this, I’m writing this particular piece from my personal POV. You can find stuff written from a more formal voice standpoint here.

Disclaimer 2: Technically, there’s one country we work in with no confirmed cases, but it also hasn’t done much testing.

Note: Photos from Tanzania are mostly by me, photos from DR Congo are by my friend Jared

The Stuck-at-Home International Film Festival: Part Two

The Stuck-at-Home International Film Festival goes on!

It’s dawning on me how long it will likely be before I can safely go out and do one of my favorite things again… traveling. I miss taking in the immersive feeling of being in a new place, taking in the sounds of a plaza, the smells of a roadside eatery, and the simple act of discovery.

All that makes me appreciate the international films I’ve been watching while in quarantine even more.

The United States is the world’s top exporter of movies. Hollywood films are regularly shown all over the world, giving international audiences multiple opportunities to see portrayals of American life. On the other hand, very rarely does an international film get the distribution it needs to be widely seen in the U.S. That makes things a one-way street.

Other film industries are catching up, though! Bollywood releases more films each year than any other country. Nollywood– Nigeria’s film industry– might catch people by surprise as the third largest film industry in the world.

If you’ve seen one film from, say, Brazil, you’ve still only seen one impression of Brazil, which is why I’m including multiple films from the same country in this series. Booksmart and Ford vs. Ferrari would give you very different impressions of American culture, after all.

By the way… would you ever guess the country of origin of these other film industries based on their name and a movie poster from that country?

Ghollywood

Aussiewood

Lollywood

Hallywood

Chinawood

Chollywood

Follywood

Dhallywood

Answers down at the bottom of this post. But first… let’s get on with our next batch of films, yes?

This week’s picks for the Stuck-at-Home International Film Festival represent a pretty diverse mix of genres. We have a musical, a murder mystery, and a truly genre-bending pick where sci-fi meets tropes from Old Westerns. We’re going back to Brazil and South Korea for some of these selections, along with stops in Iceland, Mexico, Spain, Nigeria, and Ireland.

ICELAND • 2018

AND BREATHE NORMALLY

What’s this about: A single mom struggling with poverty in Iceland takes a job with immigration at the airport. In the process, her life becomes intertwined with an asylum-seeker from Guinea-Bissau.

What’s interesting: As an economically strong country, many people wouldn’t peg Iceland as a setting for a film that explores the challenge of poverty. But And Breathe Normally does this exceptionally. On the other hand, you might expect an Icelandic film to maybe focus more on a social issue like LGBT matters. And this one does, but not in the way you’d expect.

You might like this if: you appreciate a good character-driven drama like Short Term 12. If you’ve ever seen the movie The Visitor from back in 2008, this one has a strong similarity. Since this is set in Iceland with characters of different nationalities, English and Icelandic are used in tandem.

My thoughts: For a film that seemed bleak on paper, this one was actually extremely watchable. I thought the performances were a strength, and this film tells a refugee story while mostly avoiding white savior tropes.

Where to watch: Netflix

NIGERIA • 2018

LIONHEART

What’s this about: The daughter of a Nigerian CEO is suddenly forced to manage the family’s enterprise- a state of the art coach bus service competing for a position that would make it a main service provider between two major hubs.

What’s interesting: Hollywood is the world’s largest film industry, followed by Bollywood. No surprise there. But fewer people are aware of Nollywood- the Nigerian film industry whose popularity has catapulted it into the world’s third spot. This film was supposed to be an entry into the 2019 Oscar Awards, but was disqualified from the Foreign Language Feature category because of the amount of English dialogue. This was probably unfair, given that English is widely spoken in Nigeria alongside Ibo.

You might like this if: you want one of the more light-hearted picks from this list. This is also a great introduction into Nollywood- accessible to those less familiar with Nigerian film, but still a good look into one example of life in the country.

My thoughts: Lots of strong messages in this one related to family, female perseverance, and competition. The tone of the movie is consistently upbeat making this a fun feature. It isn’t the most complicated movie, but it certainly has heart.

Where to watch: Netflix

BRAZIL • 2019

BACURAU

What’s this about: A small town in a remote part of Brazil. This film is completely bizarre, with a number of plot twists and multiple genres. The story begins with the death of a community elder in Bacurau, but we then learn about how the town has been erased from online maps, how water delivery trucks are shot on their way in, and how townspeople have been followed by UFOs. The second half of the film is best left unspoiled.

What’s interesting: One of the big things to keep in mind are the tropes of the Western film genre. I’ll admit that Westerns are probably my least favorite film genre, but the way Bacurau turns things on its head is brilliant. Consider the racial dynamics of a typical western and you might notice how this film flips them on their head.

You might like this if: you can stomach a fair amount of Tarantino-esque violence, not gonna lie. If you liked District 9 you might like the way this film takes social issues and examines it through certain genres.

My thoughts: Midway through, I wondered if I’d still go ahead and recommend this, given that certain parts get a bit extreme, but the genre subversion and genre bending ended up too good to ignore.

Where to watch: This was supposed to be screened at San Diego’s Latino Film Festival. You can support the festival’s organizers and creatives by streaming this for just $12 at Kino Lorber.

SPAIN • 2016

THE INVISIBLE GUEST

What’s this about: A man wakes up next to his dead mistress, and all signs point to him. He didn’t do it, though, so he hires a brilliant and direct detective to figure out what really happened.

What’s interesting: In recent years, Spanish film has drifted in a darker direction. There are definitely a lot of moody tones in this film, but this is pretty accessible. One thing that I’ve noticed from all the Spanish movies I’ve seen is that they waste little time launching you into the action and hit the ground running.

You might like this if: you liked Knives Out. Honestly, I think that’s a fair comparison. It has the puzzle film component paired with being a thriller.

My thoughts: This is a strong movie all the way through. The characters are pretty memorable, the plot is captivating, and it’s a truly fun and enjoyable movie. There are a few minor bumps in the road, but overall, it’s a lot of fun.

Where to watch: Netflix

IRELAND • 2016

SING STREET

What’s this about: It’s a musical! In the middle of a depressed and conflict torn 1980’s Ireland, a private school transfer tries adjusting to a new school by starting his own rock band, largely inspired by Duran Duran.

What’s interesting: It might be easy to lose sight of the significance of the 80’s setting in Ireland. Not only does that become a vehicle for The Cure and Hall & Oates to populate the soundtrack, it also raises the stakes a bit. At that time, Ireland struggled with both a severe economic recession and ethno-nationalist conflicts.

You might like this if: you’re an eighties kid, or close enough. Also, if you don’t mind musicals. Actually, this film has enough appeal to please people who aren’t that into musicals as well. If you enjoyed Once, you’ll probably like this one too.

My thoughts: This is one of the more lighthearted entries I’ve put on this list, but it’s still poignant and meaningful.

Where to watch: Now that Sing Street has left Netflix, you can stream this for free via Vudu (with ads) or Hoopla (with subs)

MEXICO • 2018

ROMA

What’s this about: The beauty and resilience of the human spirit. Okay, it’s about the struggles of a young domestic worker employed by a family in Mexico City around the early 1970s.

What’s interesting: Lead actress Yalitza Aparicio won the lead role of Roma while having virtually no acting background. When she received an Oscar nomination for Best Lead Actress, she was only the second Mexican woman to do so and the first Indigenous American woman. Much of the film is based on director Alfonso Cuaron’s childhood memories, One of the film’s climactic scenes happens against the backdrop against the Corpus Christi massacre of student protestors in 1971.

You might like this if: stunning visuals mean something to you. One of the most memorable features of this film is the gorgeous, symbol-rich camera work set in stunning black and white.

My thoughts: You probably recall a lot of the hype around Roma when it came out, and in my opinion, the hype was deserved. The stunning visuals and Yalitza Aparicio’s performance will probably be the most memorable parts, while the film as a whole gorgeously captures a resilient human spirit. It’s a truly beautiful watch.

Where to watch: Netflix

SOUTH KOREA • 2016

BURNING

What’s this about: A drifting writer runs into a childhood friend who asks him to housesit while she takes a short trip to Africa. She returns and introduces him to another charismatic, Gatsby-like friend who has quite the unusual hobby: arson.

What’s interesting: This film is a great companion piece to a much more well-known film that came out one year later: Parasite. The similar themes of work and class and confidence are present, but perhaps more subtle. It’s valuable to consider how the economic evolution of South Korea over the past three generations have led to shifting values around work and finding meaning.

You might like this if: you get as invested in characters’ inner conflicts as the plot of a movie. If you like the moody mindfulness of a Haruki Murakami novel, you’ll probably like this. It was based on a short story of his, after all.

My thoughts: My first thought was that this film started slow, but it has such complex characters that the more I got to know them, the richer this watching experience grew. Be patient with Burning and it will love you back.

Where to watch: Netflix

Answers to the International Film Industry Quiz:

Ghollywood = Ghana // Lollywood = Pakistan // Chinawood = China // Follywood = Sri Lanka
Aussiewood = Australia // Hallywood = South Korea // Chollywood = Peru // Dhallywood = Bangladesh

Plant With Purpose Merch

NONPROFIT BRANDED MERCH

What role does merch play for a nonprofit?

The simple assumption is that branded t-shirts and other items can be sold to supporters to help raise money for a cause. And this is true. But, the role of nonprofit merch goes much further than that.

When nonprofits use tangible materials as part of their overall campaign strategy, they can become symbols of a movement.

Organizations like Liberty in North Korea, To Write Love On Her Arms, and the Surfrider Foundation have successfully used tactile materials to grow a movement.

Here are some of the pieces I’ve been able to put together for Plant With Purpose.

SUPPORT FEMALE FARMERS

I designed these pins in celebration of the women farmers of the rural world. Women make up two-thirds of Plant With Purpose’s program. Globally, they do the majority of the world’s farm labor but own very little farmland themselves. Many lack access to training or financial services that could help lift their families out of poverty.

GEOMETRIC SHIRT DESIGN

I designed this geometrically styled shirt based on a favorite photo of one of our program participants from Tanzania, a Masaai woman holding a tall tree starter and a brightly colored traditional shawl.

Other shapes and symbols present include hillsides, groundwater, soil, grass, and sunlight.

New Dad Life

A Paternity Leave Production

Little home videos about new dad life I made shortly after Rhys was born.

Readiness & Resilience

When the COVID-19 pandemic spread around the world, my work with Plant With Purpose was significantly disrupted.

Our entire headquartered team switched to remote work. Our international teams all immediately halted travel. Not only was our ability to host tree planting events, sustainable agriculture training, and data collection affected, we were extremely concerned about what would happen if the virus arrived in one of our partnering communities. In remote, rural areas, medical care is often unavailable, and self-isolation in village settings is extremely difficult. Even in the best case scenario, the economic impact of the virus would create food insecurity and worsen poverty.

Thankfully… our communities stood strong.

Our investment in resilience paid off. Here’s how we began our campaign that led to these strong outcomes.

My main role was to communicate and promote our response, as it was being developed in real-time. This quickly took the form of a four-step process.

1. Develop a Communications Strategy

2. Dialogue Transparently with the Plant With Purpose Community

3. Create a Portal for Updates as New Information Arrives

4. Launch a Campaign to Equip Our Communities for a Response

STEP ONE

DEVELOP A COMMUNICATIONS STRATEGY

In ordinary circumstances, one of Plant With Purpose’s guiding principles is to let our local partners lead our response. As the outbreak spread, our local partnerships were our biggest strength.

We decided that our main strategy for communicating with donors initially was to relay information from our international partners to them. Many donors have long established relationships with specific locations where our work is based.

I relayed our parnters’ messages via web, social media, and email. Here’s a preview of the social media posts that I designed and released:

STEP TWO

CREATE TRANSPARENT DIALOGUE

Because the spread of COVID-19 has been so disruptive and unprecedented, I thought that the organizations who have had the best communication strategies were those who opted for the route of authenticity. Brands that came across as especially human, even to the point of admitting surprise and uncertainty, were the ones that stood out.

To help Plant With Purpose achieve this, I revisited the Grassroots Podcast to record an impromptu episode with our CEO to have an open discussion about where do we go from here. We were in the process of planning our second season, but this special episode got bumped to the front of the line as a bonus release. It was a more stripped down episode, no special guests, but it felt like the right move.

Listen to the COVID-19 special episode from the Grassroots Podcast

Stream Here

STEP three

create a portal for new information

We launched a special COVID-19 landing page on our website, where we could compile all the special releases of information thus far and continue to add reflections and updates from staff members.

Visit the COVID-19 landing page of plantwithpurpose.org

VISIT THE SITE

STEP four

equip our communities

Plant With Purpose has long-established relationships with some of the world’s most vulnerable communities, and has earned their trust for years. During the pandemic, it became apparent that this trust would give us a unique position to help during a time of crisis.

But how?

We determined that it would be best to keep our response flexible, being able to adapt as the situation evolved. Using the familiar image of the disease curve, we outlined three potential scenarios– one we’re in, one we hope to avoid, and one that seems inevitable.

As an unexpected Earth Day campaign, and extending beyond, we seek to raise $400,000 to help our communities respond to the outbreak in the most appropriate and advantageous way possible.

Stuck-at-Home International Film Festival

THE STUCK AT HOME INTERNATIONAL FILM FESTIVAL

I had a really exciting year full of trips planned in 2020. Then COVID-19 pretty much cancelled them all.

How do you poke at the travel itch when you can’t exactly scratch it? One of my favorite ways is with foreign films!

So what am I to do? Well, one of my favorite ways to poke at the travel itch when I can’t fully scratch it is with foreign films! Admittedly, it can be hard to know where to look for good ones. You watch Parasite, and you’re like, yes! Give me more! But then all you find is each country’s equivalent of Paul Blart: Mall Cop.

I’ve got your back, my friend.

My latest quarantine project is this: The 2020 Stuck-At-Home International Film Festival. Go ahead and draw yourself a festival pass on a piece of cardboard. We’ve got some good ones to watch.

Here’s how it’ll work. When you sign up, here’s what I’ll be sending you.

• A (kind of) weekly email featuring a new batch of international films

• My own mini-review and thoughts on the film.

• Some insight into the film industries and cultures of countries that get less attention, including Africa, South America, and Southeast Asia.

• Links for streaming the film.

This will mostly be free! Well… mostly free if you have subscriptions to Netflix, Prime, Hulu, etc. Each week, there’ll be one exception. A film available for streaming using a digital ticket, the cost of which will support a local theatre or organizers of a cultural arts organization.

WEEK ONE

The first batch of films features a film-noir, a crime-thriller, and a love story with ghosts.

Atlantics (Senegal, 2019)
Metro Manila (Philippines, 2013)
Trash (Brazil, 2014)

Wild Goose Lake (China, 2019)
Cake (Pakistan, 2018)
Happy As Lazzaro (Italy, 2018)
Parasite (South Korea, 2019)

WEEK TWO

Our next batch features a Brazilan genre-bender, a musical from Ireland, and a murder mystery from Spain.

Sing Street (Ireland, 2016)
Roma (Mexico, 2018)
Burning (South Korea, 2016)

And Breathe Normally (Iceland, 2018)
Lionheart (Nigeria, 2018)
Bacurau (Brazil, 2019)
The Invisible Guest (Spain, 2016)

And the third batch!

Shoplifters (Japan, 2018)
The Whistlers (Romania, 2019)
Zama (Argentina, 2019)

Gangster’s Paradise: Jerusalema (South Africa, 2008)
I Lost My Body (France, 2019)
Hunt for the Wilderpeople (New Zealand, 2016)
Children of the Mountain (Ghana, 2016)

The Stuck-at-Home International Film Festival: Part One

I really, really miss travel.

How do you poke at the travel itch when you can’t exactly scratch it? One of my favorite ways is with foreign films!

So what am I to do? Well, one of my favorite ways to poke at the travel itch when I can’t fully scratch it is with foreign films! Admittedly, it can be hard to know where to look for good ones. You watch Parasite, and you’re like, yes! Give me more! But then all you find is each country’s equivalent of Paul Blart: Mall Cop.

I’ve got your back, my friend.

My latest quarantine project is this: The 2020 Stuck-At-Home International Film Festival. Go ahead and draw yourself a festival pass on a piece of cardboard. We’ve got some good ones to watch.

Here’s how it’ll work: Each week(ish) I’ll curate a new batch of films from around the world, along with links of where to stream them, since they can be found all over the internet. Most of these will be free, but some are being streamed from film festivals that were cancelled this spring for a small fee that benefits local theatres and out-of-work artists.

So… ready?

Here’s part one.

CHINA • 2019

Wild Goose Lake

What’s this about: The story revolves around a gang leader who ends up a fugitive after killing a cop while trying to halt a gang fight. While he knows he can’t run forever, he tries to find a way to make sure the reward money for his arrest ends up with his wife.

What’s interesting: The was released in late 2019 and set in Wuhan. It offers one late look at the city before its name became widely associated with the coronavirus. It’s also a modern Chinese take on the classic genre of film noir, featuring tropes like nocturnal scenes in alleyways, an encounter with a mysterious woman driving the plot, and a cat-and-mouse rhythm.

You might like this if: you enjoy film noir and would appreciate seeing the genre in a new context. If you like Quentin Tarantino movies, Wild Goose Lake hits some similar notes with its stylish action scenes. It’s unusually violent for a film coming out of China, which tends to censor these things more.

My thoughts: The thing I liked most about Wild Goose Lake was its visual style. It did have an intriguing plot, but it unfolded fairly slowly and was sometimes difficult to keep track of.

Where to watch: So this was one meant to be shown at a local theatre in my area this month. Instead that theatre is allowing people to stream it as a way to help them stay afloat. Follow this link to support my favorite San Diego theatre while watching. - $12

PAKISTAN • 2018

Cake

What’s this about: A family and the relationships between different family members over time. The father of a Pakistani family falls ill, and so his children reunite in their childhood home. That’s just a vehicle, though, for the real questions that the film raises, surrounding toxic masculinity, how sibling dynamics evolve in adulthood, and how international borders and migration impact an ordinary family.

What’s worth knowing before: Pakistani films have long struggled to find their footing, largely because Bollywood films from neighboring India do really well in Pakistan and are tough to compete with. It doesn’t help that censorship laws in Pakistan create more obstacles. Many Pakistani friends have raved about this film to me. It might be helpful to know a bit about gender dynamics within the culture, but this film itself is a way to explore it.

Ideal for fans of: If you like a dramatic comedy that surrounds a complex family like Little Miss Sunshine or The Silver Linings Playbook, I think you’ll find a similar appeal in Cake.

My thoughts: Honestly, this one starts off a little slow, but hang in there. Many South Asian films are known for their length, but your patience will be rewarded in the second half. Also, if the synopsis of “it’s about a complicated family” is hard to get into, just give it a shot. It’s hard to do this film justice with such a short description.

Where to watch: Netflix

ITALY • 2018

Happy As Lazzaro

What’s this about: Sometimes, the less you going into a film, the more enjoyable it will be. The film starts off in the middle of an Italian countryside with a small town (really, just a handful of families squished into a little house) filled with sharecroppers doing manual laborer for a noble family. In the middle of this, Lazzaro remains eternally optimistic and befriends the son of one of the nobles. Close to halfway in the film, a HUGE plot twist strikes and that’s all I’ll say about that.

What’s worth knowing before: You don’t need a ton of context to enjoy this movie, but it might be worth knowing a bit about the practice of sharecropping in Europe, and in particular, Italy, where it was technically legal up until the 1960’s.

Ideal for fans of: Because of the big plot twist, it’s tempting to say M. Night Shyamalan films, but in many ways that comparison sounds insulting to Happy As Lazzaro. Actually, if you liked the next film on this list, Parasite, this might be a good next stop. Visually, it reminded me a bit of Everything Is Illuminated. The character of Lazzaro is a bit like a male Amelie. You’ll also enjoy this movie if you’re an Elijah Wood fan, as its lead actor has more than a slight resemblance.

My thoughts: You will remember this film because of its big plot twist, but in the moment you’ll also be impressed by its strong characters, great acting performances, and gorgeous camera work. I don’t hear a TON of buzz about this movie, so if you’re looking for an underrated gem, head over here.

Where to watch: Netflix

SOUTH KOREA • 2019

Parasite

What’s this about: Odds are, you’ve already heard a lot of the buzz surrounding Parasite. I wondered if there was much of a need to include a film that took home four Oscars on this list, but if you haven’t seen it yet, you should. Here’s another film where I get to say: the less you know going into it, the better it will be. The film follows the struggles of a financially challenged family living in a South Korean slum that suddenly finds an opportunity to make ends meet by intertwining their jobs and lives with a substantially wealthy family.

What’s worth knowing before: Maybe get to know a bit of the work of Bong Joon Ho. The Korean director’s past work includes Snowpiercer- a Chris Evans film that envisions the entire world living on a high-speed train where cars are ordered by class, and Okja- a bizarre film about a girl and her pet animal that offers commentary on the meat industry. Wild concepts meant to convey social commentary, especially about class, are his thing.

Ideal for fans of: Bong Joon Ho’s other movies. They’re distinct enough that it’s hard to draw comparisons. The one other creator I think is cut from a similar cloth might be Jordan Peele. So if you liked Get Out and Us, this might be a good one for you.

My thoughts: One of the best things about this movie is the way it keeps subverting expectations, bending and blurring genres. There are some parts of this film that felt extremely comedic- a bit of a surprise given its director’s typical work. Other parts had a distinct horror feel. Others felt like a drama. But it always works. 

Where to watch: It’s on Hulu as of April!

SENEGAL • 2019

Atlantics

What’s this about: It’s a ghost story! And a love story! And a commentary on class and justice. A futuristic tower is being built in Dakar, but its workers haven’t been paid for months. After failing to collect their wages from the tower’s owner, many sail to Spain to find work. Soleiman is among them, leaving his girlfriend’s family to arrange her marriage to a wealthier man. When fires and mysterious break-ins spark rumors that Soleiman is back, a hot-shot detective starts investigating, and things get weird!

What’s worth knowing before: Hopefully this represents a comeback for Senegalese cinema. The country had a Golden Age of cinema in the 60’s and 70’s, but has only produced 6 films in the past ten years. It’s impressive that one this bold and unconventional would be the latest.

Ideal for fans of: hmmm…. This is a tough film to compare to anything else. Maybe if PS I Love You came with some broader social commentary? Maybe if Terrence Malick directed The Lovely Bones? Maybe if The xx made movies instead of music?

My thoughts: I loved how unconventional this film was. The long shots of the sea and dusty Senegalese streets gave it kind of a dreamy feel that made its supernatural elements more believable. It’s a great starting point if you’re wanting to see more African Cinema. There are some parts that drag a little bit, but that seems to add to the ambience.

Where to watch: Netflix

PHILIPPINES • 2013

Metro Manila

What’s this about: A farming family from the rural Philippines sees their earnings grow smaller and smaller. To help take care of his wife and daughter, the father moves to an area outside Metro Manila and takes a job driving an armored car. Quickly, he discovers that his job opens the opportunity to earn even more by being caught up in organized crime.

What’s worth knowing before: While the Philippines releases large amounts of film, they tend to occupy just a few specific genres: quirky romantic comedies, over-the-top slapstick films, and thrillers surrounding organized crime and drug trafficking. This one fits firmly in the latter category, but is made with much more heart than the typical piece.

Ideal for fans of: City of God, Sicario, or Widows. If you enjoy any film that explores the complicated world of crime in a way that’s still humanizing and empathetic of those who are caught up in there, this is a strong film.

My thoughts: The opening scene captures the dynamic between rural poverty, urban poverty, and crime in slums so proficiently. It’s a reality for millions around the world, yet very rarely is it portrayed in a way that does it justice.

Where to watch: Netflix (However, it looks like some countries no longer have it available, so here’s a link to TinyZone as a backup plan... lower quality but safe.)

BRAZIL • 2014

Trash

What’s this about: Three kids living in a Rio de Janeiro favela survive off discoveries they make in the city’s landfills. At one point, they make a big discovery that leads to them being pursued by both police and gang members.

What’s worth knowing before: This is a pretty accessible film even without a lot of orientation to Brazil and favela life. It might be worth noting that one of the most salient narratives in a lot of Brazilian films is the level of inequality visible in the country.

Ideal for fans of: well… it isn’t quite the heartwarmer that Slumdog Millionaire is, but the similarities between the films might be hard to overlook. If you’re looking for something that captures the contrast between a gritty setting and characters with a lot of heart, this is a good pick.

My thoughts: I really enjoyed this film. There is a part of me that wishes it gave a little bit of nuance to the dynamics of favela life and provided some more context, but I realize it would be hard to do this without distracting from the well calibrated tone of the movie. I was also happy to see a surprise appearance by Martin Sheen playing, of course, a priest.

Where to watch: Netflix

Stay tuned for the next batch!

Love, Fear, and Contagion

No Fear in Love

Here’s one of the strongest beliefs I have: fear can be a manipulative emotion. It stops us from being the people we were meant to be.

I grew up quite familiar with 1 John 4:18, the part of Scripture that reads, “There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.”

That makes sense to me. I think love is our highest calling. The decisions you make because of fear are exactly the opposite of the decisions you’d make because of love.

Fear makes you turn your back on opportunities to help people. I think of how the U.S. used to resettle between 50,000-200,000 refugees in the 1980s and 1990s. While even more people have been displaced from their home in the past decade, we help fewer than ever, mostly because public sentiment has drifted towards fear.

But that’s not all. Some of the worst things throughout history have happened when one group of people is fed information designed to make them afraid of another group of people. Authoritarian strongmen rise to power when fear runs high. It seems so much more obvious when looking at the historical propaganda of dictators. 

If love casts out fear, then the opposite is true. Fear invites hate. Fear has such a close and ugly relationship with hate. There’s something appropriate about words like homophobia, transphobia, or xenophobia. Fear feeds the hatred directed at these groups.

So much of my life has been dedicated towards trying to denounce fear. I love globetrotting, seeking out places in the world that were often stigmatized. I’ve traveled a number of places, often without set plans. I’ve turned myself into a case study of how the world isn’t that scary after all.

A Holy Anxiety

Here’s one of the newer beliefs I have: the more you love, the more you have to fear. It’s a different kind of fear than the one that feeds hate. It’s more like a holy anxiety, and I never understood how that could be possible until I got married.

Six months after our wedding day, my wife Deanna started getting sick. A few antibiotics seemed to do the trick at first, only temporarily. We returned from a trip and knew she needed to check into a hospital. A lung infection plummeted her lung function down to 22%. We spent our first Valentine’s Day as husband and wife in a Portland hospital, her hooked up to IVs. Doctors voiced sobering concerns about her ever regaining the lost lung capacity, about us being able to someday have kids after that incident or what not.

We had a fortunate, and pretty much miraculous recovery. But from that point forward, I became hyper-vigilant about health risks. I gained the ability to quickly pick out sick people in a crowd to stay away from. I felt hyper protective when I felt she was being overworked by employers, lowering her immunity.

For years, I could never relate to worst-case scenario thinkers. Some people seemed to have such a vivid mental image of how every ordinary thing could end in catastrophe. For whatever reason, I have a lot of people in my life with that inclination, and I’ve always found it some combination of annoying, amusing, and foreign to me.

Last year, I became a dad. You hear so many new parents talk about how for the first time, their hearts exist outside of their bodies. For many people, this is the first time they discover how fear and love can be intertwined. It’s unneverving whenever you discover the limits of your abilities to protect someone you truly care about.

I still think the world isn’t as scary as people make it out to be. I still think fear stops people from living the life they were meant to. But there’s more nuance to this conversation now.

My journey has helped me grow spiritually, and it’s added more and more loved ones into my life. My wife. My son. The community around us. The global populations I’ve connected with. And as this love expands, the more I become aware of the things that threaten the people I love. And there’s a little more to be worried about. 

The Worst Contagion

The most contagious virus of all is fear. But perhaps the second most contagious thing is apathy. Or complacency. Or whatever you want to call it when serious problems threaten the world’s vulnerable and those of us who are unaffected just sit accept it.

The past couple weeks, I’ve been pretty taken in by the unfolding of the coronavirus. I hate to admit that I’ve been a little fascinated by the dynamics of how the world responds to something like a quickly spreading epidemic. The outbreak’s narrative crosses paths with so many of my interests– genetics, travel, geography, problem-solving. But of course, it’s ultimately a tragedy, having claimed over 100,000 lives.

The most common reactions I see to the spread of the virus are almost totally the polar opposites of each other. One is entirely led by fear. The other is totally asleep to it.

In the face of an epidemic, panic does more harm than good. You see the cases of people stockpiling masks, hand sanitizer, and toilet paper, depleting retail supplies, creating price spikes and making it harder for the people who really need these defenses to find them. Panic is at its worst when it merges with prejudice, as we’ve seen directed at so many people of Asian heritage since the outbreak started.

On the other hand are those who have completely dismissed the virus as an overreaction. Many are eager to point out all the other things that have caused more deaths each year. To a lot of my peers, the virus isn’t that scary. They are young and healthy, and if they somehow managed to contract the virus, they’d most likely ward it off in a couple of weeks. But their response to the virus will still have an impact on people the age of my parents, or on people with more fragile immune systems like my wife. To say the virus isn’t a big deal because it only affects these populations is telling these people that their health doesn’t matter.

Neither of these responses seem right. Both the fear-driven frenzy and the insistence on inaction have the potential to do harm to a lot of people. Both prioritize the emotional needs of the individual rather than what’s best for everne.

This past week, the virus showed up fifteen minutes from our front door. A retail employee tested positive at a nearby mall. I’ve been talking more and more with Deanna about what we’ll do if we get to the point where we need to lay low for a little while. Her work puts her in frequent contact with our local population without housing.

The Gift of Fear

In the past few years, I’ve heard more and more about how fear isn’t entirely bad. It can cause a lot of trouble when we put it in the driver’s seat, but fear has a purpose. 

Elizabeth Gilbert has been one of the best at articulating this. She highlights how we experience fear because it keeps us alive. The part of our brain that experiences fear is the part that kept us from being preyed upon by stronger species. Rather than being completely antagonistic towards fear, we can acknowledge it, thank it for the role it plays, and make a more sober decision.

The world is complex enough where two seemingly opposite things can both be true. Perfect love casts out fear. Loving others will give you more reasons to fear. But what really matters is the way we respond to scary situations. Coronavirus is the trending topic of the moment, but this is a question that comes up again and again.

When I think about our present day refugee crisis, it’s a topic where I feel very strongly that fear has gotten the better of us. We’ve somehow convinced ourselves to be afraid of some of the most vulnerable people groups on earth.

But then, the same part of the population that worries about refugee resettlement expresses little concern about climate change. Generally speaking. And the same segment of the population that argues against alarmist messaging about refugees seems to embrace it when it comes to climate. Are we too afraid? Are we not afraid enough? Maybe we just need a different way of thinking about these things altogether.

Here’s what I believe now: I still believe love is the highest calling and that perfect love casts out fear. But I don’t think that means never being afraid. It means moving through your fears, not around them, in order to do the right thing. Dismissing the concerns of other people isn’t being fearless, it’s simply being asleep to your own fear. And it isn’t helpful.

Instead, deciding to love anyways, after considering all the facts is the type of love that casts out fear. And it invites something else in its place. A loving concern. One where you’re looking out for the interests of other people in a way that’s informed, sober-minded, strategic, and wise.

Loving Concern

So, what’s the difference between giving into fear and showing a loving concern? I think a good distinction is that a loving concern is unselfish. It means that you can recognize that when it comes to an issue like coronavirus or a refugee crisis, you yourself might be safe but other people aren’t, and you can take steps towards changing that.

Loving concern looks like people stepping up to intervene against racism directed at Asians. It can look like being intentional about the way we talk about the virus. Showing generic images of Asian people wearing facemasks for unrelated stories, like our local newspaper did on Friday, does real harm. Refusing to refer to the disease as the “Wuhan virus” helps prevent stigma against that area.

Loving concern can look like reaching out to elderly relatives or immune-compromised friends. (Not necessarily in-person, if that would be unwise.) They have heard plenty about how they’re more vulnerable to this, and letting them know that they have your support is extremely valuable.

Loving concern can look like refusing to give in to panic-buying if you’re not in a population that is particularly vulnerable. The more N95 masks that are in your closet are N95 masks not available to people with chronic respiratory issues at a time when they’re in short supply. (Also, they’re much more effective if a sick person wears them versus a healthy person)

This virus is a lot of things. Sensational and urgent and threatening and novel. But don’t forget to keep things human. Loving concern knows that behind all the statistics, the new numbers from Italy and Korea and Iran, are human beings who are valuable and loved. Unfortunately, the human element has been missing from a lot of reporting.

“Every summer, the community puts on a neighborhood party with a band and swing dancers and an old fashioned car show. They invite the whole neighborhood,” Kris shared. “They have been a great asset to our neighborhood.”

Kris lives in Kirkland, Washington. The community she loved partying with was the Life Care Center, where 26 residents have died of the virus. “It’s not a time for showboating or bragging that you might’ve dodged a bullet,” she notes. “I’m worried about passing it on to someone tha twouldn’t be able to fight it. Heck, let me take it over anyone else in that care center.”

Refugees. Communities vulnerable to climate change. The elderly. The immunocompromised. Our family members. Our loved ones. The conversation completely changes when we shift the question from “what should we be afraid of?” to “how do we love and serve those around us?”

Don't Rush the Journey

This isn’t going to last forever.

I don’t know if you ever catch yourself thinking that. I do from time to time. It doesn’t even feel like a thought that comes from me most of the time. It’s more like a sudden reminder that strikes when I least expect it.

On the drive to my office. While playing with my kid. Out to dinner with my wife.

This isn’t going to last forever.

It sounds like a sad thought, especially when applied to a moment you’re really enjoying. But it can be one of the most precious reminders.

I remember being at Durdle Door in Dorset years ago. I connected with a distant relative of mine, and we met in North London. By the end of the week, he had invited me on a family trip where he would be taking his kids to the South Coast. When we got there it was beautiful. 

And I remember a distinct moment of sitting on the pebbled beach, throwing small stones into the water. I was allowing myself to be amazed by all the odd happenings that led to me being there in that moment. The thought then washed over me. Being this free- to reach out to people, to venture to places I never knew about, to say yes to surprises, wouldn’t last forever. This was a sacred moment to be in.

And I continued to sit and throw stones into the water. And everything else seemed to sit still.

Somehow knowing that the moment wouldn’t last forever made it much richer.

I have a tendency to get excited about what’s next, to set my sights on the future, and to convince myself that I’ll really be able to enjoy myself after some accomplishment or milestone.

Being oriented towards the future isn’t without its upsides. But it does give me the bad habit of rushing through life.

I get a bit too absorbed by my to-do list. Wanting too much to check things off as quickly as possible so I can feel like a day was productive, not going to waste.

I get a bit impatient waiting for the things I’m working on to reach the next level. I think of how exciting it would be for my podcast to get the listeners I dream of, for my nonprofit to grow to the size I dream of.

I get so motivated by milestones, benchmarks, and accomplishments, that I often forget that the real joy is found in the process.

One of the most important reminders anyone can take on their adventure is this: Don’t rush the journey.

All good stories and life itself is driven by a journey. Things to pursue. Problems to solve. Once the problems are solved and things are settled, stories naturally come to an end. There’s nowhere left for them to go.

We tend to overrate getting to the destination at the cost of underrating the journey.

I love the way some people are able to flip this. In the words of Chris Guillebeau, it’s not about the pursuit of happiness but the happiness of pursuit.

Being a dad has helped me out a great deal. I see my kid every single day, but while we spend time together, I remind myself that the moment is indeed sacred. In one month, he’ll have grown and changed and developed so much, he’ll no longer be the same kid right in front of me in the moment.

Plus, kids are natural at being in the moment. In the earliest of months, past and future aren’t concepts that have landed yet. It’s all about the present.

Being free from the burden of time seems to be something present in the purest of hearts. Kids. Dogs. Really wise older people. And I think about the people whose lights shine brightest, and they often seem to be people who are able to shut out everything else and focus on what’s right in front of them. It’s being free from the distractions of past hang-ups, worries about the future, or just being caught up in what hasn’t been done yet.

Things like hurry take us further away from that state of lightness. From being the best versions of ourselves. No wonder Dallas Willard famously said that the best way to become the kind of person you wish to become, then you must “ruthlessly eliminate hurry from your life.”

Hurry and love don’t mix.

Poverty can put people in desperate situations where exploitation, violence, and poor health take root. Hurry, obsessing over the future, or forgetting the value of the present run parallel to that. They create a spiritual sense of poverty that make us less like the people we want to be.

Not only that, but they also rob us of so much joy. Because in each waking moment, there is an invitation to a whole lot of joy.

The key is not to rush.

Seven purpose-centered trips to take

No doubt, travel has been one of the most enriching parts of my life. Like most people who love going places, though, I almost always find it impossible to answer which place I’ve enjoyed visiting the most. Different places have earned huge spots in my heart for very different reasons. That got me thinking- there are probably several different types of trips worth taking throughout a person’s lifetime.

At first I thought of trying to list them all out. The Seven Types of Trips to Take Within Your Life. But that didn’t seem right. Traveling is a privilege, after all, and not everyone gets to take seven trips. But for those of us who can, and who hope to keep finding ways to discover the world, here are seven ideas for different kinds of trips you could take.

A TRIP TO RECONNECT WITH YOUR HERITAGE

Everyone comes from somewhere, and these days, many of us live in a very different part of the world from where our family has its roots. I think it’s always worth it to try and go back to these places, even if you’re several generations removed.

I’m Filipino, and I’m so thankful to have been able to visit the Philippines numerous times throughout my life. The last visit was likely the sweetest. I got to take my then-fiancee to visit my grandma for her 96th birthday, and it would end up being the last time I saw her. Now that I no longer have her to visit, my trips there will probably be less frequent, making those opportunities more precious.

My attachment to the Philippines is pretty strong, given that I’m only a generation removed from both sets of my parents having been raised there. But even if that isn’t the case, it’s still helpful to get in touch with the place of your ancestry. Even if your heritage is a combination of several different European nationalities, making the effort to trace them is a reminder that everybody belongs to an ethnicity and culture and that none are “normal.”

A TRIP FOR THE SAKE OF SERVING OTHERS

I’ve got to preface this by saying: beware of voluntourism opportunities that are actually ethically questionable schemes. Even seemingly legitimate missions trips or volunteer opportunities may be done in a spirit of being the hero in someone else’s story, or disempowering people who have the ability to make a long term difference in their community. So don’t just volunteer somewhere for the sake of looking good.

But– throughout the course of your life, you’ll likely discover something that gets under your skin. You’ll find something in the world that legitimately bothers and disturbs you, and you’ll want to dedicate a fair portion of your energy and resources towards solving whatever problem that is. Oftentimes, that desire will send you places. You might be a volunteer with a specific skill set that can’t be found locally. You might be someone who helps connect people to resources to make their transformative work possible. You might go somewhere for the sake of learning how to create change.

I’ve been able to visit Johannesburg, Tanzania, and Thailand, among many other places, that have taught me what making an impact actually looks like. It isn’t just about staying for a couple of weeks and checking out, but it’s about making a commitment to slow, sustainable progress over a lifetime. But I wouldn’t have made that realization without the things I was able to see firsthand.

A SPIRITUAL PILGRIMAGE

The Camino de Santiago. Macchu Piccu. The Pacific Crest Trail. Sometimes, a physical journey merely serves as the catalyst for a spiritual trek.

Jesus often retreated from his familiar scenery to pray. So many mystics of old, across a variety of traditions have placed a value on connecting with the divine through taking a journey.

It’s hard to break out of old patterns of thought while still keeping the same patterns of behavior, the same routines everyday in the same settings. For this reason, we become more spiritually sensitive when we disrupt what’s familiar and set our sights on going in search of something bigger than ourselves. No wonder the idea of pilgrimage has made for such a great storytelling device, from The Alchemist to Wild.

I’ve been trying to think of a time I might’ve done this. I dream of doing the Camino de Santiago some day, but that hasn’t happened yet, and I kind of want to save that for a moment when I think the spiritual retreat is really needed. Right now, I’m inclined to think about a road trip I took to the Pacific Northwest several years ago. It was such a simple trip, but it inspired a lot of thinking- enough to eventually generate a whole book!

A MOSTLY UNPLANNED TRIP

Travel takes a lot of planning, generally speaking. For those of us who have regular jobs, it requires making sure we have the time set aside for it. It means making sure everything lines up financially. Now that I have a kid, I’m realizing that even more planning is needed for trips that used to seem so simple.

So… when you don’t have to set a firm plan, you should totally take advantage of that!

There’s something so freeing about backpacking and realizing that it’s up to you when to move on to the next stop, where you want to go next, and what you want to do when you get there. There’s something wonderful about showing up to a new city with not much of a clue what to expect and an open mind. When you keep things open enough to connect with people on the go, they can help add to the adventure.

I often think of the summer I spent backpacking through Europe. I followed bus lines wherever they would connect me, trying to stop in places where I knew people. A friend in Germany invited me to a bike ride through the rain. A friend in Norway showed me the best spots for a summer swim and cliff jumping. A friend-of-a-friend-of-a-friend in Denmark gave me a tour usually reserved for Korean diplomats. A cousin in Morocco invited me on an epic hike. A distant relative in England became not-so-distant after he invited me on his family’s holiday to the South Coast. All these things weren’t in the original plan. But it made for an unbelievable summer.

A TRIP TO INDULGE YOUR BIGGEST PASSIONS

What’s your wild and crazy passion? Okay, other than travel, because I already assumed as much.

Surely there’s something else in life that just mesmerizes you. That you’ve always had a disproportionate curiosity towards. Reptiles? Rugby? Cuisine?

I ask this, because one of the most worthwhile trips you could take is to the epicenter of your biggest passion… whatever that happens to be!

Love jazz? It’s hard to top a visit to New Orleans. Space? Then you’d probably be more intrigued by Cape Canaveral or Houston than your average person. Gorillas? The Congo welcomes you.

Going to Egypt for the history, Japan for the anime, or Italy for the food are truly bucket-list level opportunities. I’m thankful that my fondness for food traditions has brought me to places like Malaysia, New Orleans, and Italy.

A TRIP TO BETTER CONNECT WITH NATURE

When a lot of people start talking about dream destinations, cities tend to be mentioned more often. But I think having a trip where you can really connect with the beauty of the planet and learn from its generous nature is totally life-changing.

It’s impossible to quantify, but I do wonder how much better people would be as a whole at caring for the Earth if we spent more time appreciating it. Most of the people I know who’ve done great work for conservation or environmental protection grew up with frequent exposure or strong appreciation for the outdoors.

Some of the natural sights that have made me feel the most wonder are in what many people would dub “the middle of nowhere.” An extremely rural part of Swaziland that didn’t really have a name. A peak after two miles of an isolated hike outside of Detroit, Oregon. A gorge carved out by a river in Norway. And of course, more known spots like the Yosemite Valley, the Icelandic waterfalls, and Yellowstone have that effect too.

A CLASSIC ROAD TRIP

Seeing a place by land, in recognition of how truly large it is, is a great way to feel more deeply connected with a place.

Road tripping is such a classic experience, and in many ways is a more efficient way to go about. Piling a car full of close friends, questionably healthy snacks, and putting together the perfect playlist sets the stage for a great experience. Add a few pit stops at unexpected natural wonders and weird roadside oddities, the types of conversations that only come about after several hours in a car, and the challenge of tight quarters and you’ve got the recipe for a classic experience.

The other cool thing about road trips is that there are endless combinations of great routes you could take. America’s famous Route 66. The Pacific Coast Highway, then continuing onto Canada. The trans-Canadian Highway. Australia’s Great Ocean Road. Argentina’s Ruta 40. Or just connect the dots between the places you really want to see.

For the record, I’ve had two favorite road trips. The time I lived in a van for months across the Heartland is one, though that stretched for so long I’m not sure it counts as a single road trip. The other that sticks out in my memory was the week-long journey I took with four friends through New England.

Boston to Salem to Manchester to Vermont, Montreal to Portland, Maine, then back down to Boston via the Kancamangus Highway.

How many of these types of trips have you taken? Where will you go next?

My favorite photos taken in the past ten years

20. Siena

Siena, Italy
March 2018
Photo #3008

In 2010 I studied abroad in Siena, Italy, having the time of my life. It ended up being one of the most personally enriching experiences. I grew confidence as a person, got to expand my creativity as a photographer, and discovered just how much I loved to travel. I was thrilled when I got to go back in 2018, bringing Deanna along with me. One amazing thing to observe was the way I evolved as a photographer over that time.

19. Karen Refugee Class

Mae Sot, Thailand
June 2014
Photo #1637

One of the coolest experiences I’ve had was being able to guest lecture at a sociology class inside a refugee camp in Northern Thailand. These guys rarely get to leave the camp area. Their lives aren’t the easiest, but along with their families, they’ve been able to create a robust system of life inside.

18. Jesus

Viotá, Colombia
May 2019
Photo #3422

When I went to Colombia last year, I got to capture the stories of people affected by their years of brutal conflict. Jesús had one of the most memorable stories, having been kidnapped as a teenager and having escaped his captors. He now lives a much happier, more peaceful life as a coffee grower.

17. Durdle Door

Bournesmouth, England
July 2013
Photo #1293

I spent most of the summer of 2013 backpacking Europe. I connected the dots between friends I had in various countries, places where I had friends-of-friends, or extended families. I managed to connect with a distant sort-of-uncle outside of London, and he took me on a family trip to some beautiful parts of Southern England. I’ve since seen this location in various screensavers and postcards, and it’s just as majestic in person.

16. Stormtrooper Monthly

Omaha, Nebraska
October 2012
Photo #1010

Easily one of the coolest experiences of my past decade was spending my first term after college living in a van, touring the heartland to talk to schools and churches about human rights in North Korea. It was a beautiful, bizarre adventure. While I have plenty of photos on stage, with North Koreans, or with the various people along the way who hosted me, this moment seems to capture the randomness best. A former Nebraska state senator took us to a Barnes & Noble to do some work off their wi-fi. With no explanation, this guy was browsing the magazine rack.

15. Sleeping in Tents

Bonita, California
May 2014
Photo #1605

This photo is framed so simply and cleanly, but that makes it pretty fun. I went on a casual camping trip just outside of San Diego. This day is memorable for other unfortunate reasons. I was talking to my friend Daniel on the phone. Me in San Diego, him in Santa Barbara. He mentioned how he was at a theatre and couldn’t leave because of a security threat. That turned out to be the Isla Vista gun massacre that year that shook up my old neighborhood.

14. Smith Rock

Bend, Oregon
March 2016
Photo #2277

This was our first family trip since adopting Beignet, just the first weekend after we picked her up. She captured our hearts on this trip and we got to see her personality really emerge.

13. Biking Through Rain

Santa Barbara, California
January 2010
Photo #0019

A photo from my very first month of this project makes it onto this list because of its simplicity, and because it reminds me that it doesn’t take much to celebrate what life looks like at a given moment. The treat of heavy rain in the Santa Barbara area, the bikes that we would mostly use to get around while in college, all of this kind of captures the feeling of this time in my life.

12. Deanna: The Future is Here

Santa Barbara, California
April 2012
Photo #0842

We wouldn’t begin dating until a few weeks after this was taken. At this point, we were just very good friends and the thought of being anything more hadn’t crossed my mind yet. But it would very, very soon. This day, we took each other’s senior portraits, and we kept joking how this photo looked like she was seeing a vision of the future. Maybe that was more accurate than I realized.

11. The Old Medina

Fez, Morocco
July 2013
Photo #1287

As part of my backpacking summer, I got to swing down to Morocco for a bit and visit with my cousin who was serving in Peace Corps. It gave me a good window into Moroccan life, and I had some truly memorable experiences with Moroccan hospitality during my week there.

10. Dievole Wine Tasting

Tuscany, Italy
August 2010
Photo #0215

My photography style is nothing like this anymore, but I remember this picture being the first one I felt truly, truly proud of. The wine glass offered interesting reflections and warped the vineyard in the backdrop in a way that was so engaging to the eye. 

9. Jah Cho

Chiang Rai, Thailand
November 2017
Photo #2876

All these pictures helped me realize my favorite kind of photography- humanitarian photography and capturing the images of how different people live life around the world. Something about Jah Cho’s smile here was so warm and inviting, I loved spending time in his community.

8. DMZ

Demilitarized Zone, Korea
July 2014
Photo #1631

North Korea was such a big cause I dedicated myself towards this past decade, it was surreal to take a picture that half includes the closed country. I’m not sure if this opportunity still exists for Americans given the changing relationships, and I hope I get a chance to visit the country properly some day as a free and open place.

7. The Mate Maker

Buenos Aires, Argentina
April 2011
Photo #0476

I spent the first half of my 2011 living in Buenos Aires. While that time was full of adventures, I loved that living somewhere longer allowed me to appreciate everyday life in Argentina. Not just the mountaintop moments. This image captures the beauty of everyday grit for me. The motion blur. The man at work making yerba mate gourds. The Buenos Aires hustle.

6. Kiddos

Johannesburg, South Africa
January 2016
Photo #2219

I spent a large part of my 2013 in South Africa working with vulnerable children at a care center. In 2016 I got to take a second visit to work on my thesis and I got to see so many of those kids more grown up. The last time I was there, these kids were really little. A bunch of new kiddos joined the crew, too.

5. Rhys Miguel

San Diego, California
October 2019
Photo #3591

Of course, if I were ranking these photos solely based on the memory and not factoring aesthetics, this photo would be right up at the top. But I’m also happy with the way this turned out, and it’s pretty meaningful to me that I got to take Rhys’ first photo. Ending such an eventful decade with a newborn seems perfectly appropriate.

4. Tanzanian Karibu

Rombo, Tanzania
July 2017
Photo #2730

On my first field visit with Plant With Purpose, the Tanzanian communities would welcome us with shouts and songs and waving palm fronds. It was such an eruption of joy and a reminder that I was in the right place.

3. The Zulu Boys

Johannesburg, South Africa
January 2013
Photo #1125

The day I got asked to photograph all the kids in the Johannesburg care center was the day I really had a reason for being there at that moment. I also love the way this photograph plays with the next one on this list. It reminds me that these kids grow into those young men.

2. The Guys of 5Cees

Johannesburg, South Africa
March 2013
Photo #1174

“Let’s take a group photo,” Neo instructed me. The guys were already casually hanging out on the steps in this arrangement. Some of them looked at me, some of them didn’t. This photo somehow captures so much personality from each of them.

1. 96 Years of Lola

Iloilo City, Philippines
July 2014
Photo #1644

I went to the Philippines in 2014 to celebrate my grandma’s 96th birthday. I also wanted to meet Deanna, since we would get engaged later that summer. I am so thankful I got to make that happen. She passed away two years later, just after her 98th birthday.

Joshua Tree: Checking in to what's next

MIDNIGHT

The fireworks went off about a minute and a half into a YouTube video titled- What to do when your RV’s generator goes out? I could hear them reverberating all throughout Desert Hot Springs as the clock struck midnight. Meanwhile, I was playing electrician on a camper we had rented for the evening.

It was a humorously anticlimactic way to end what had been an extremely eventful decade. Like an epic TV show ending with the most mundane finale. We were spending New Years Day in Joshua Tree a half hour away. The camper we rented seemed like a good deal, but the faulty electricity would end up making it the worst Airbnb I’ve ever rented.

While fireworks continued to go off, I flipped the switch to the breaker again, hoping I could get the camper to stay powered longer than twenty minutes. It would be pretty cold in that camper if we couldn’t use the heater.

In the end, my efforts were never successful for very long. The power would go out again and we wound up using every blanket we could find for warmth and my laptop screen’s brightness for light.

At two months old, Rhys took this all like a champ. His parents, on the other hand, had a rough time with this arrangement.

We weren’t the most rested the next day as we drove into Joshua Tree National Park. But I did feel my energy reignite once we made it through the entryway.

Snow blanketed the large open desertscapes. It managed to make the usually dusty, dry area feel cleansed. The stretches of sky, the towering rocks, and the piles of pristine snow made the park feel just like the year- an open, clean slate.

TIME PASSING

The 2020s sound so futuristic, right? Then again, every year has felt that way since 2000.

The passage of time– days into weeks, then years into decades, has always been something I’ve been extra-sensitive to. I’ve always felt like it seems faster to me than it does to most people. I’ve also always had a pretty strong sense of my mortality. Like, I know this doesn’t last forever.

I frequently think about how my time is limited. And I know that this might sound like a burden, or a curse, but I think in a lot of other ways, it’s been one of my biggest blessings.

I think I’ve been able to live life with a stronger sense of urgency than most. And I think that sense of urgency is what’s propelled me towards some of my biggest adventures and accomplishments thus far.

Every day is an opportunity. When you live with urgency, you avoid wasting your time on things that don’t really matter.

One of my biggest missions in life is trying not to let ideas, dreams, ambitions, hopes, or adventures go to the grave with me. It’s why I write and create videos and share thoughts as often as I do. It’s why I say yes to invitations to other countries and invite others along often. It’s why I wanted a career that would allow me to combine my creative itches, my desire to help people, and my love of other cultures.

Life is just a little too fragile to run the risk of not saying what you need to say, not going where you want to go, or not trying to figure out a way to do what you love.

WHAT’S NEXT?

On the way in to Joshua Tree, we stopped by the visitors center to get ourselves an annual National Parks pass. Seems like there’s no better time to pick one up than the 1st of January. The sun turned everything a bright white while we waited in line.

The blank white page is an artist’s biggest invitation, but it can also be an intimidating sight. The pressure to put something beautiful on it. The pressure not to mess up. A new year feels like that too, except the work of art is your life.

At the start of the last decade, I approached that blank slate with a sense of urgency. I knew a few things I wanted: a good relationship, a creative outlet, a career in helping others, and a chance to see the world. Like, a lot of the world. I gave myself goals like writing a book, going to grad school, and visiting new countries every year. And then I did those things.

Now, the 2010s will be a tough act for me to follow. I know at some point late in life, I’ll look back on that decade so fondly. I mean, I already look back on it fondly. In the 2010s, I lived a variety of places, from Oregon to South Africa, Santa Barbara to Italy, Argentina to San Diego, Bakersfield to a van that took me everywhere. I ran two half marathons. I visited three dozen countries and every state except Alaska. I wrote a book and launched a podcast. I took a photo every single day. I finished two bachelor’s and two master’s degrees. I fought for human rights in North Korea, environmental justice in rural villages, and better education in South African slums and Thailand’s refugee camps. I got married, adopted a dog, and had a kid. I landed my dream job of doing creative work for a nonprofit focused on international sustainability.

Please forgive me if that sounds boastful. I just needed to highlight what a big and eventful decade it’s been. Also- this is why the idea of trying to make the next decade even better seems like a tall order. Does it even need to be better? That act of comparison does seem like a recipe for disappointment, doesn’t it.

Well, I really don’t like the thought that my best days might be behind me. I want to know that there are more adventures ahead. When I hear the words the best is yet to come I really want them to be true. 

So many of my dreams have come true, by the decade. I turn 30 this year and except for small bits like getting a tattoo or visiting Alaska, I do have just about everything I hoped for at this point in life. Family. Career. Experiences. At the same time, new dreams come into focus. And those dreams remind me that there is still room to level up. I can surprise myself all over again.

THE PROCESS

Last year, I became a dad. Three years ago, I got my dream job- telling stories about global sustainability for Plant With Purpose. I’ve gotten to travel, to create, to contribute to causes I care about. I’m thankful for all of this. One of the things I’ve learned in life is that setting goals and dreaming dreams is worth it. They give direction. And I’m happy I still have plenty more dreams to pursue.

I want to see our family grow. Both in size and in intimacy. I want to be able to provide a secure childhood for Rhys and the best memories of adventures. I’d love for our family to extend warmth and generosity and hope to others. 

I want to keep doing creative work for Plant With Purpose that captures people’s imagination. I want to make videos and online content and podcasts that leave people unable to sit still. I want to surprise people with how much they really care about sustainability.

I want to grow as a voice and as resource meant to help other nonprofits and do-gooders tell better stories. I want people to learn how to promote their cause effectively. Ethically. To be invited to speak and consult and share what I’ve learned by doing so. It’s easy for me to feel like I’m still a long way from this, at times.

My current challenge, however, is to be less focused on goals and more focused on the process.

Something James Clear says struck a chord with me: achieving a goal only changes your life for the moment. Setting up good systems, habits, or processes changes the way you do things, which actually leads to consistent and lasting results. And for me, I think that would look like truly showing up and being totally locked in to the moment in front of me. As a dad. As a storyteller. As an advocate. And I can’t help but think that would lead to some of my best work.

When I sit down to write, I want to truly enjoy the thought that goes into each word. I want to care less about meeting my quota of articles written that week. When I spend time with Rhys and Deanna, I want them to know they have all of me. When I’m in front of another person, I want them to feel like they’re all that matters at the moment. Building this habit as a default way of doing things will take some getting used to, but I think building habits like these is ultimately how you get to where you want to go.

YOUNG FAMILY

Joshua Tree is beautiful. The Mojave Desert is a different place altogether in the winter time. The wide open stretches of land are worthy of attention. We caught sight of a red kestrel perched atop one of the Joshua Trees themselves. It was perfect.

The first sunset of the decade was appropriately mesmerizing. The sky hummed a gentle purple and orange, somewhat muted by the faded colors of the Mojave landscape.

Rhys’ first time in a National Park was everything I would have hoped for. We of course didn’t do any more extensive hikes. Most of the trails within the park were closed, anyhow. Not to mention, we had our dog with us, which severely limits where one can go in a National Park. But no matter. The day was beautiful and free and open anyways.

This does feel like the most appropriate way I could be starting this decade. Exploring a National Park with my young family. My two-month old son. I want him to see me live out my values of creativity, sustainability, and adventure. I don’t want him to just pay witness to it as a spectator, but as a direct recipient. I want my life at home to be the primary spot where I put those things into practice.

I’m ready. I believe this decade holds good things in store. I believe it contains missions and projects and quests and adventures and relationships and peaks and valleys like I never would’ve anticipated. But I don’t want to turbo through it in an effort to check stuff off a list. I want to savor each day of it.

I want each day to contain moments that feel timeless. I want to be less divided. I’m ready for the years ahead to stretch like endless acres of public land. Most of all, I want to love the process.

LISTS OF THINGS

2019: A Year of Joy

If you had told me in January that a Sunday afternoon in December could look like this, I wonder what my reaction would be. Skepticism? Hope? Curiosity? Most likely, some crazy mixture of the three.

But right now, Rhys is feeding and our house on Marlborough is quiet, apart from Disney+ streaming in the background. None of these things were a part of our lives when the year began.

We’ll be heading out for Joshua Tree pretty soon, to launch the new year and new decade quietly and in nature, but I wanted to spend some time reviewing the events of the past twelve months, celebrating the big wins, and reflecting on the unexpected surprises that came along.

At the end of each year, I also like to decide on a theme. So many people I know pick a word or theme at the start of each year to guide them. I’ve found life to be a little too unpredictable for that to work for me at the beginning. To paraphrase Soren Kierkegaard, life only makes sense when you look at it in reverse, but you have to live it forward.

First, some stats:

Places Visited: Lake Tahoe, California; Charleston, South Carolina; Charleston, West Virginia; Viotá, Colombia; Jackson Hole, Wyoming; Atlanta, Georgia

Favorite Meal: Rodney Scott’s BBQ (Charleston, South Carolina)

Favorite Album: Maggie Rogers, Heard it in a Past Life

Favorite Concert: Vampire Weekend in San Diego

New Skills Learned: Boxing, Adobe Premiere, Infant Care

Best Read: American Spy by Lauren Wilkinson

Favorite Movie: Parasite

Five “Mind Pictures” That Will Stick With Me Forever:

• Driving to the house the same day we saw Rhys’ heartbeat for the first time and confirmed we were pregnant

• Swimming in my underwear and going down a waterfall slide we found just off a quiet trail in Colombia

• Coming within 50 feet (about as close as you’re supposed to) to a wild cinnamon brown bear in Yellowstone

• Spotting “Ube Cake”- the stray black mini-lab we rescued and came oh-so-close to adopting

• Seeing Deanna push through the challenges of learning how to nurse Rhys and becoming an amazing mom

Favorite Actual Photo Taken: Rhys is Born | 31 October 2019, San Diego, California

2019 will be a bit of a funny year to look back on because one major event totally eclipses the rest. My son Rhys was born on Halloween and our lives have been forever changed for the better. Our pregnancy began in mid-February, and so the story of our year tracks very well with his development and birth. Still, this was an eventful year in many other ways as well. Here’s what happened–

The Big Events

Before getting to the big piece, here were some of the other big happenings from 2019:

The High Water Festival

As a birthday present to myself, Deanna and I got tickets for the High Water Festival in Charleston, South Carolina. It’s a two day festival curated by the group Shovels & Rope (also one of the performers) and although it’s not widely known outside the region, I knew I had to go once I saw its lineup. Leon Bridges? The War and Treaty? The Head and the Heart? So there! We had an amazing time, ate incredibly well in the South, grooved dreamily to Leon crooning Beyond, and enjoyed side jaunts to Charlotte and West Virginia while there.

Colombia

In May, my friend Milmer invited me to his home country of Colombia. He specifically wanted me to help tell some of the stories of a community a little outside of Bogota that had been severely affected by the recent conflict. I learned so much on this trip, about the importance of the environment in the post-conflict era, and how difficult but beautiful the work of peacebuilding can be. I talked to kidnapping victims, farmers, children, ex-combattants, and local officials to gain a robust perspective on the country’s recent history.

Jackson Hole

Wyoming was my 49th state, and it was a really pretty one to save for my second-to-last one. Jackson Hole and the surrounding areas were especially gorgeous. I got to spend time with family in both Yellowstone and Grand Teton National Park, and enjoy a refreshing, slow-paced week up at elevation hanging with bison and bear.

Buying Our First Condo

When we moved to San Diego, I figured that would push back our expectations for buying a house by at least five years. So I was quite surprised when we were able to buy a little condo- our first- in March. It’s a cozy little place that fits our small family just right. I suppose we may outgrow it or have different needs in the future, but the timing of making this kind of purchase was just right for us.

…and of course…

Rhys

I’ve already written about the story of my son Rhys’ birth quite extensively, and if you’ve read even a little bit of it, you’ll know it’s kind of a miracle that he’s here. He overcame pretty much every obstacle to becoming part of our lives, from a year of trying unsuccessfully, to a triple-high-risk pregnancy, to a miscarriage scare while we were in West Virginia. Thankfully this kid is as strong as they make ‘em, and his arrival has taught me so much about holding on to hope when things are difficult.

The Big Wins

What separates a big win from a big event? I think events can just happen outside of your control, but a win is a decision you’ve made that you can feel proud of and thankful for. Here are some of mine:

I launched the Grassroots Podcast

One of the coolest things I’ve gotten to do during my time with Plant With Purpose has been launching the Grassroots Podcast. I wanted a show about the environment where the conversation was being driven- not by political leaders, academics, or well-known influencers- but by the people who are actually the most affected by the environment. Rural farmers in exploited countries. Women. Children. And we also got to talk to some people I admire along the way.

I ended up working with the great team of Chad Snavely and Nick Laparra to produce this show, and I’ve been impressed with how high quality they’ve made us sound. I’m also thankful that this show has allowed me to interview everyone from Colombian ex-combatants to Shane Claiborne, Mozambican scientists, Haitian farmers, Matthew Sleeth, and my boss. I’m really proud of the product that came out, and I look forward to making more.

I started making videos

Late in the year, I started considering investing in a new camera. I picked up one with pretty good video capabilities and figured, hey, if I’m about to be a dad, I’ll get great use out of this. I was right.

I definitely use the camera a lot to get plenty of Rhys shots, but I’ve also started making short videos each week for YouTube. It’s a creative outlet that’s been a lot of fun for me lately and I feel excited to continue to work on video projects.

I started taking up boxing

I’ve wanted to learn how to box for such a long time. It’s one item I’ve had on my “Before I Turn 30 List” and this year I was finally able to give it a go. It’s been a fun sport to dive into! The blows to the face have been pretty minimal, and I have felt myself get into much better shape throughout the year as a result. One caveat- I haven’t been back since Rhys was born. Boxing probably isn’t the best sport to be doing in a sleep deprived state, so I may have to put my boxing gym membership on hold. But I’m glad I did this for most of the year. I try to always be a rookie at something, and this year, it was boxing.

We navigated an extremely difficult pregnancy together

There were about three major physical challenges to Deanna’s pregnancy. Each alone would’ve made us a high risk pregnancy, but the three of them put together was intense. Deanna got pretty sick twice during her second trimester, she began the pregnancy on a broken leg, and she finished it with a baby who wouldn’t flip upside down and required a c-section. She also did all this while at a high intensity job that is far more stressful than what most people do for work. We ended up at the gynecologist every other week, and I’m happy to say I was with her at every one of those appointments minus one.

The Unexpected

Over the course of a year, not everything goes to plan. When the unexpected happens, it isn’t always an outright bad thing. In fact, some unexpected things, like our pregnancy, turn out pretty fantastic. But what matters when these things come up is how we respond.

Deanna’s broken leg and housing drama

While this year ends on a joyfully triumphant note, I don’t want to forget how it began pretty much the opposite way. We started New Years hoping to put some of the hardship of the previous year behind us. We didn’t go two weeks before Deanna called me at night telling me that I needed to pick her up from a rock climbing gym because she fell and couldn’t drive. I didn’t realize that what she meant was her leg was broken and we’d spend the night at the hospital.

She had to be off her feet for the next eight weeks, during which I took care of most chores like walking Beignet, while picking her up and dropping her off at work every day. We also entered a super chaotic February where we needed to pack and move from our house without knowing where we’d end up. That added an almost daily trip to the storage unit on to my packed schedule, and a lot of cardboard boxes to our lives. We ended up basically moving twice in a month. I’m so thankful I was able to just keep taking care of the day’s problems one at a time, and I think that crisis mode was a poetic way to prepare us to end the year as parents.

Not going outside as much

One of my goals for 2019 was to go outside more often. More camping trips, more hikes, more paddleboarding. I missed when we lived in Oregon and could do those excursions pretty much every other week. Well… that goal didn’t exactly happen.

Deanna’s tricky pregnancy would make “roughing it” lose its appeal. No worries, though. We’ll simply take on this goal in 2020 and beyond with a new camper in the crew.

Two postponed trips

Two trips I was really looking forward to this year ended up not happening- but they’ll probably happen again some time in the future.

I was supposed to take a group from my church to the Dominican Republic to visit a Plant With Purpose community that they support. Unfortunately, the timing didn’t work out for a few key participants on the trip so we had to reschedule. But hopefully this is something I can pick back up at another time.

I was also planning a trip to Alaska in September to visit my 50th state. But- that was pretty late in our pregnancy and we were on travel restriction by then. That’s something I’m looking forward to in 2020!

Some financial roller coasters

This year was probably one of our hardest years financially. Not like, skipping meals hard, but y’know, we’ve had to get a little more creative to make things go further.

It’s funny to say that, since we are actually collectively earning more than we’ve ever earned in the past. We also bought our house, and so we’re in many ways more financially secure than ever. But also- our needs have grown quite a bit. Having a kid will do that. And this year, we had two unexpected emergency room visits, an emergency iPad repair, a couple of needed repairs to the Volvo that might be falling apart. We’ve also been missing about 30% of our income recently, due to being on parental leave, but I’m thankful for workplaces and state systems that still allow us to have a decent income while bonding with Rhys.

The Year of Joy

So what to make of a year when the thing we waited long for, but didn’t expect happens? You could call it a Year of Hope- though, surprisingly that’s what I labeled 2018. Because I think it’s during the darkest hour, when hope seems lost, that it matters most.

So what comes after a hard season of hope?

Looking back over all these pieces… it’s been a year of joy. It’s been a year of looking at places where there once was devastation and ruin and seeing life.

Where there used to be a cloud of uncertainty and not knowing where we’d live as Deanna’s leg healed, there’s now the warmth and comfort of the Marlborough House.

Where there used to be conflict between the Colombian military and armed guerilla members, there are now students and community members working to make Viotá a hub of sustainable ecotourism.

Where there used to be month after month of negative pregnancy tests, there is now baby gear scattered all over the place.

I think back to the way this year started. On New Years’ Day, we hung out at my parents’ house, playing Tokkaido and watching Crazy Rich Asians. My stepdad unintentionally brought up the subject of us having kids, accidentally triggering a tearful night at the start of the year. Now, looking back over the first several weeks of Rhys’ life, I have never been in a sweeter, more joyful season than the one I’m in right now.

It’s been quite the year, and I really like where we are to begin 2020. There’s a lot to look forward to as well. But I’m in no rush. If anything, this is the point where I especially want things to go by extra slow. These days are too sweet and joyful to rush.

Best Reads of the 2010s

How much do the books we read ultimately impact our lives? 95% of them probably don’t- they’re entertaining or informative in the moment, but don’t have much of an impact afterwards. Then there’s the one in every twenty that changes the way you look at the world. One average, that’s probably 1-3 reads a year. I imagine the way I would look at the passage of time would be different if not for novels by Ruth Ozeki and Matt Haig. Hans Rosling’s Factfulness has given me concrete support for my optimism towards the world. Todd Henry’s Die Empty has given me a mantra for how I want to live.

Picking my top 10 fiction and top 10 non-fiction reads from this decade was not an easy task, but it was fun to think back on all the incredible literary journeys I’ve been on in the past ten years.

FICTION

10. A Tale for the Time Being by Ruth Ozeki

A Japanese-American writer discovers a washed up journal in British Colombia and discovers it belonged to a Japanese sixteen year old who lost it in a tsunami. The girl has written freely about her life and goes from suicidal thoughts to documenting the life of her very elderly grandmother. It’s a novel about connection across times and cultures despite distance and missing links in your own story, one with spiritual tones I enjoyed very much.

9. Little Fires Everywhere by Celeste Ng

Celeste Ng can really write. Just missing this list, though not by much, would be her earlier novel- Everything I Never Told You. This novel focuses on upscale small towns and Ohio suburbs and two families who keep secrets, despite getting extremely close together. It’s a novel that reminds me that everybody is facing hidden challenges at any given moment.

8. Beautiful Ruins by Jess Walter

Beautiful is the right word for this novel. Set against the romance of a generic Cinque Terre village, the story jumps back and forth between the fifties and Hollywood idealism and the present day. This is the right book to remind us that no matter how much time passes, the things that matter most come back around for us.

7. Boxers & Saints by Gene Luen Yang

My favorite graphic novel of the decade. Boxers & Saints is actually a two part book series, but I’ve batched them together since they’re sort of only complete together. Boxers follows the story of a young boy fighting in Ancient China’s Boxer Rebellion against the foreign influence of missionaries. Saints focuses on a Chinese peasant girl who has found solace in the missionary communities. It’s a reminder that even in the fiercest conflicts, both sides have their stories.

6. The Tiger’s Wife by Tea Obreht

This was an impressive debut novel that was written in the spirit of classic Russian and Balkan literature. Set in that part of the world, it contains themes of ritual, legend, and folklore, primarily around a young doctor who befriends a “deathless man” and a tiger who escapes from the local zoo and befriends a deaf girl. It’s a great story for awakening a sense of wonder at the world.

5. Pachinko by Min Jin Lee

This book made me so proud for all the strong Asian females in my family’s history. The novel starts in Korea in the early 20th Century, and follows a family through the next several decades into the present. Parts of it follow members of the family to Japan and the U.S. as those countries play a role in the family’s history. It’s an impressive, expansive story about family legacy.

4. How to Stop Time by Matt Haig

Here’s the premise: An approximate 600 year old guy has to deal with the challenges of aging ten times slower than your typical person, like grieving losing everybody over and over and over again every few years. That, and the secret society that protects his identity and his secret aging process in exchange for one assasination job every eight years. For someone who often feels like time simply slips by way too fast- this was an amazingly relatable read.

3. Children of Blood and Bone by Toni Adeyemi

This is going to sound like a big compliment, and I mean for it to be a massive compliment– you’d have to go back to Harry Potter to find a fictional world I’ve enjoyed getting to know as much as the ancient magical Africa that’s centered in this novel. The characters, the setting, the rules, everything is so rich and I’m thankful that there will be even more books to come in this series.

2. Homegoing by Yaa Gyasi

Following members of a family line from one generation to the next, from Ghana to America, Homegoing is all about getting back in touch with roots that were erased due to slavery and other ills. If other novels on this list are any indicator, I love sweeping, epic, expansive storylines, and this is a key example.

1. A Map of Salt and Stars by Jennifer Zeynab Joukhadar

I think the great tragedy of our past decade has been what has happened to Syria during that time. This novel provides a retelling of the story in a way that does justice to the tragedy, but also captures the brilliance and the heart of the Syrian people. It leaves you feeling something more than devastation- maybe even hope at the end, in spite of all the horrors throughout the novel and the real world incidents its based on.

NONFICTION

10. Born a Crime: Stories from a South African Childhood by Trevor Noah

Seems like every well-respected name in comedy has traded spots on the best-seller list at some point this decade for their memoir. Of all of them, Trevor Noah’s was the one that really stood out to me. His book was basically stories from his early life, coupled with some thoughts on racism and apartheid. You wouldn’t have even known he was a comedian just by this book, his pre-comedy life offers enough material. The final chapter was amazing.

9. On the Other Side of Freedom: The Case for Hope by DeRay Mckesson

I’ve learned so much about activism and justice and standing up for what’s right from the writings and ideas of DeRay. I’m particularly happy that he chose the topic of hope on which to focus his first book. He’s been in the middle of so many situations in which it’s been really hard to be hopeful.

8. The Jesuit Guide to (Almost) Everything by James Martin, SJ

This book was written as a simple introduction of Jesuit spiritual practices to laypersons, but it was one of the few books I brought with me to South Africa while I was there, so I read it over and over again. This was how I learned about centering prayer and contemplation and examens and the spiritual practices that were most helpful to me over the past eight years. I read this at just the right time- needing to take my faith beyond just believing the “right things” to the practice of finding God in all things.

7. Dear America: Notes of an Undocumented Citizen by Jose Antonio Vargas

This was only the second book ever by a Filipino or Filipino American that I’ve read- which makes me a little sad. Still, this was a beautifully written and very important read. Immigration continues to grow as a topic of importance, and I’ve found Jose’s voice and honest-to-life storytelling so important as a way to hold empathy throughout the discussion.

6. Factfulness: Ten Reasons We’re Wrong About the World – and Why Things Are Better Than You Think by Hans Rosling

Every day, you’ll be exposed to messages that portray the world as a devastating place where things keep getting worse. Maybe nobody is literally saying that to you, but pay attention to the succession of headlines, and they’ll certainly paint that picture. Hans Rosling uses real and important data to show that the world is actually getting better. Drastically. The present is the best time to be alive. This book not only is a beacon of sensible optimism, but also some of the best storytelling I’ve seen done with data, hands down.

5. Between the World and Me by Ta Nehisi Coates

If I were making a list of- not necessarily my favorite reads of the past decade, but the most culturally important, this just might make the top of the list. Coates writes about the pivotal, uncomfortable moment we’re in in our country’s history of racism and bigotry with so much heart– in a letter to his young son. Highly relatable.

4. Die Empty: Unleash Your Best Work Every Day by Todd Henry

My work ethic is driven by the awareness that I won’t live forever and that I don’t want my life to end with my best work still inside of me. If something can help other people, I want to be sure to do it, and that means acting with a sense of urgency. Todd Henry does a great job of putting these values into words.

3. Tattoos on the Heart: The Power of Boundless Compassion by Greg Boyle

Ten years ago, more of my reads consisted of things you would’ve found in the Religion section of a bookstore. I tend to read less from that section these days and instead look for the sacred in aspects of all the other sections, though there are still a few books here and there I find genuinely helpful. Greg Boyle’s book of stories from his years of working with people involved with gangs has so much heart and paints a true picture of what compassion looks like. I felt like my soul came to life while reading this.

2. Unbroken: A World War II Story of Survival, Resilience, and Redemption by Laura Hillenbrand

This book blew my mind when I read it in the winter of 2011 and the story of Louie Zamperini continues to amaze me. This biography captures an incredbily lived life, starting with it’s subject’s running career, his survival of a month on a raft at sea, his imprisonment and torture in a Japanese prison camp, and the aftermath of his trauma and struggle to forgive his primary tormentor. This book ultimately is a reminder to me of what hope, resilience, and forgiveness look like.

1. Just Mercy: A Story of Justice and Redemption by Bryan Stevenson

It’s hard to believe this book only came out this decade; it already feels like a much longer-established classic. Stevenson’s book recounts his experiences as a lawyer, defending those on death row, seeking to exonerate the wrongfully imprisoned. His story highlights the flaws of our prison systems and systematic racism, but also the way we’re connected through our own brokenness. It’s a reminder of what justice really is and how each of us is more than our worst mistakes.

My favorite songs & albums of the 2010s

The 2010s are coming to an end in just a few weeks, and a lot of places are releasing Best of the Decade lists for all kinds of things. Best albums. Best movies. You know the drill. I’m a big fan of these lists, the debates surrounding them, and all that.

Since I became a dad just a few weeks ago, I’m taking a break from my usual writing habit to simply enjoy making Best of the Decade lists of my own. Unlike the lists you’d find in Paste, Pitchfork, or any of those other sites, these lists are more subjective to my tastes and how strongly they resonated with me. If you’re looking for opinions on cultural significance, well, there are plenty of other sites doing that.

I’m starting my list-making with music, since I’ve been seeing Best Albums of the 2010s lists popping up everywhere. Music is the closest thing we have to time-travel, I think, and I love how quickly these albums can take me back to years gone by.

25. James Blake

James Blake’s self-titled debut would’ve seemed like an unlikely choice to make my list when it first came out, but man, this album aged really well and it remains one of my favorite “moody vibe” albums. His cover of Limit To Your Love was my first impression of how classical piano and dubstep production could actually combine to make something pretty sweet.

24. Leon Bridges, Coming Home

It was so easy to instantly fall in love with Leon Bridges’ style– soul vocals with a style that took you back to its golden era. There’s a vintage, golden-toned sweetness to almost all of his music and that comes through strongly on Coming Home. His follow-up Good Thing could’ve just as easily made this list, and Beyond makes for one of my favorite slow jams of the decade.

23. Band of Horses, Infinite Arms

The early part of this decade came dangerously close to overdosing on the indie folk-rock that Band of Horses had a hand in bringing to popularity. Their 2010 release showed why their style caught on so well. Infinite Arms is an example of the subgenre at its finest. A tune like Evening Kitchen can paint a picture of a tender moment with brilliance.

22. Maggie Rogers, Heard it in a Past Life

I’ve been excited for how strong of a reception this album has gotten since its release earlier this year. This list is probably more biased towards older works, since they’ve had more time for me to see how well they’d age and hold up over time. I feel confident in Maggie Rogers debut to be convinced it’ll be looked back on fondly.

21. Anderson.Paak, Oxnard

The crowd will prefer Malibu, and I get why. But Oxnard was the album that cemented Anderson.Paak as one of my current favorites. The joy, ease, and funk in his flow creates a type of music that flies between genres and gives him a style of his own. Plus, the wordplay and energy are especially ripe on this album– Who R U? Makes for one of my top pump-up jams.

20. Jónsi, Go

Sigur Ros is wonderful, but I feel like Jónsi’s solo project allowed him to flex certain musical muscles that his more orchestral group projects often restrain. By hearing his signature eruptive sound packaged into more accessible pieces like Go Do or Animal Arithmetic, I think we got a gift of songs that created an instantly magical mood.

19. The Lone Bellow

By the time The Lone Bellow made their debut, I thought I had my fill of the stomp-clap type bands and was ready for something new. While they definitely did have those folksy, bluegrass inspired elements, their music was simply so sincere and symphonic that it felt like the style was secondary to their transportive storytelling.

18. Kendrick Lamar, DAMN.

Gimlet’s Dissect podcast is currently exegeting this entire album song by song, and its making me fall in love with it all over again. It’s hard to argue against vibing out to LOVE. or getting amped to HUMBLE., but some of this album’s real beauty comes from its nuanced songwriting- and it always feels like there are more layered meanings to be unearthed.

17. James Vincent McMorrow, Post Tropical

This album came out in very early January, 2014. I remember thinking- wow, one of my favorite albums of this year can’t be coming out this early, can it? (January is historically a dead zone for good music releases, though there are exceptions). I was blown away by the textures and freshness of just about every track of this album.

16. S. Carey, Range of Light

S. Carey’s second solo project was just stunningly beautiful. I have yet to come across an album that can pull off such textures and layers in such a delicate way. Alpenglow is a favorite song of the decade, and the simple, wistful melody made me want to talk our wedding singers into covering a very different soulful version of the beloved single.

15. The Civil Wars

The chemistry between Joy Williams and John Paul White went from intoxicating to toxic-feeling in such a fast and dramatic way that it’s easy to forget that their music collaboration for a few short years was actually really, really good. The dramatic rises and falls of Poison & Wine or C’est La Mort could’ve marked the beginning of something amazing. If only…

14. The War and Treaty, Healing Tide

During a difficult year in my own life, and a chaotic time politically and culturally, The War and Treaty’s album landed exactly the way you’d hope for an album with “healing” in its title. It’s main anthem, Love Like There’s No Tomorrow is a prayer, a battle cry, and an anthem all at once, and I frequently want to erupt in that refrain.

13. Kendrick Lamar, To Pimp A Butterfly

If I were in charge of the list for Pitchfork or Paste or any other major culture publications, making a list of the top albums based on quality and cultural impact, this would be number one. From Alright to i to King Kunta- so much of this album presented a once-in-a-generation level of hip-hop storytelling that set Kendrick apart from anyone else.

12. William Fitzsimmons, Gold in the Shadows

Sweet. Melancholic. Tender. Heartfelt. There are so many ways to describe the softness of William Fitzsimmons’ vocals which have never been better supported than the way they were on this album. The contrast of somberness with light and beauty make this album feel like the rays of warm light that crack through on a pretty cold winter.

11. Sufjan Stevens, Age of Adz

This album wasn’t well received when it first came out. Not by the general population. Not by me. It wasn’t the Sufjan I was used to- it was some new, odd, robo-Suf. Then, I saw most of this album played live with added context and I loved it. And I played it so much, I gained a new appreciation for it. Ten years later, I must admit, it’s an album that gets much better over time.

10. Freelance Whales, Weathervanes

I tried looking up whatever happened to Freelance Whales, and it seems like they just unceremoniously stopped making music with no big announcement. I loved this album so much, I get a bit longing when I think of what could have been if they continued to put out stuff like this. I loved how each song could range from the pep of Kilojoules to the lament of Broken Horse.

9. Johnnyswim, Georgica Pond

We played Paris in June at our wedding and Diamonds was one of my top songs of 2014. So how does this album get ranked higher than the one that had both those tracks? It was just that high caliber all around. I loved the sweetness of Summertime Romance and the at-home sentiment of Touching Heaven. It’s an album for big life transitions and the sweet in-betweens.

8. Gallant, ology

I remember thinking that Gallant seemed like an odd choice to open Sufjan’s Carrie and Lowell tour. Then I heard him belt a splendid cover of Blue Bucket of Gold and instantly understood. Gallant has one of the most fantastic voices out there and his new releases are some of the ones that get me the most excited these days. ology was a fitting introduction to his talent.

7. Ben Howard, Every Kingdom

I respect Ben Howard for letting his style evolve and not getting stuck in the singer-songwriter box, but a big part of me wants him to head back that way because he was so good at it! Old Pine might just be my favorite tune from this decade, and his show at a small club in Santa Barbara remains one of the best live acts I’ve ever seen.

6. Chance the Rapper, Coloring Book

This was probably the most unique and original album of the past decade, and it deserved all the attention it got after its release. It brought to the surface so many things we needed desperately in 2016- joy, justice, and the unbridled spiritual hope that Chance the Rapper embodies. 

5. Noah and the Whale, Last Night on Earth

There are albums lower on this list with much more nuanced and crafty songwriting, lyricism, and musical composition than this. So why so high? I think of tracks like Give It All Back and L.I.F.E.G.O.E.S.O.N. and think, yeah, that put into words and music exactly how I feel and I can’t say it any better. Good music doesn’t always need to be cryptic. 

4. The National, Trouble Will Find Me

The National may have been one of the most consistently outstanding bands this decade, and this album was them at their very best. (High Violet could have easily also made this list.) Few bands can strike the tone of playful and dead serious and romantic all at the same time. I Need My Girl and I Should Live in Salt hold up strong over time.

3. Sufjan Stevens, Carrie & Lowell

The ultimate musical expression of vulnerability I’ve heard. I loved it. So many artists try to do what Sufjan does but it ends up just seeming like them looking for catharsis. Instead, Sufjan turns the personal into the universal, makes small moments into sweeping feelings, and turns several low-fi recordings into one of the best albums in a long time.

2. Vampire Weekend, Modern Vampires of the City

Few bands basically embody the 2010s quite the way Vampire Weekend does. Their witty, playful lyrics are underscored by more sincerity this time around, and the themes of faith, nostalgia, and mortality are addressed so perfectly with their tongue-in-cheek approach. Their other albums this decade were also strong, but this was them maturing into a top band.

1. Run River North

I am a bit surprised this took my number one spot, but after comparing it against other candidates, it makes perfect sense. Run River North was still a raw, relatively new band at the time of this release, but the truly magical ways they performed songs like Foxbeard and Fight to Keep were full of heart. Few songs can move me the way Growing Up does.

BONUS: My favorite songs of the 2010s

It would take way too long to share my thoughts on each one, but here’s a playlist of what I thought were the 100 tracks that stuck with me most throughout the past ten years.

You Will Be Thankful

It’s been an unreal past few days. I’m a dad now. Rhys is here. Everything has slowed down to focus on the smaller, sweeter details of life.

It also seems like a good time to capture the journey we went on that led to him being here. It took about two years of trying and being pregnant, none of which could be called easy. I’ve shared bits of the story before, but never in one big sum. Buckle in, it was a long ride for us, too.

It’s worth noting is that when I say I heard something from God, I don’t say that lightly. Throughout most of my spiritual life, I refrained from using those particular words, always wanting to leave room for the possibility that I was just telling myself whatever I wanted to hear. It wasn’t until a few years ago that I became more open to the practice of contemplation and listening. Those moments of divine connection carried me through one of the most challenging and rewarding stretches of my life so far.

November 2018 was one of the hardest times in my life. It was in the middle of Fall, and Deanna had gotten sick. And not just casually sick, but a weird, fast, complicated illness that struck suddenly in a single afternoon. When she went on antibiotics, the road to recovery wasn’t exactly a clean one either. First, one med created some strange side effects. The next day, we were worried about blood clots. Those fears became a reality the day after.

This feels like a cruel joke, I prayed. We had been trying to have a kid for a year, and all we managed to get was this ridiculous illness. It felt like torture, in so many ways.

In a year, you will see how good I am, I heard in reply.

No way did I just hear that, I thought. It seems like too convenient of a reply. Too good to be true.

But it wasn’t the first time I heard something like that.

Years ago, just after we had gotten married, I listened to an episode of Radiolab that told the story of a girl who was born 23 weeks into gestation. She wasn’t supposed to survive, but the podcast followed the story of how her parents watched her round the clock, reading Harry Potter to her. Singing to her. Her two day prognosis turned into a week. Then two. Then a month. Then three. Finally, she grew and was released from the hospital. She was four years old at the end of the episode.

It remains the only podcast episode to ever move me to tears. And I couldn’t help but wonder about what it would be like when we started trying to have kids. Deanna’s medical history was complicated enough that we weren’t totally sure it would be possible. And if it were, I wondered what effects there might be on mother or child.

I felt four words whispered to me.

You will be thankful.

I was alone in the car. You will be thankful, I heard again. I kept those words in my back pocket.

We started trying to have a kid in April 2018. I had been at my job for over a year. We had been living back in San Diego for a similar amount of time. Things were alright financially. We were in a good place.

We started trying the way most couples do. Passively. But as time passed, we intensified our efforts. Paying attention to calendars, tracking fertility. But months went on.

In that span of time, we saw dozens of friends announce their pregnancies. I had four other coworkers get pregnant. Five other people in our family had kids as well. And we were happy for them. But also, each was a reminder of what we were missing. I hated the fact that we felt that way, and that kind of made things even worse.

There was one moment, late that summer, when Deanna told me that we weren’t having a baby that month, for yet another month in a row.

I was sad. I looked at her, imagined her with an occupied womb and told her that she would make for the cutest pregnant lady when it finally happened.

“If it happens,” she corrected me.

“Yeah, sure.”

I don’t easily admit defeat. And that stubbornly optimistic side of me held on to this feeling that someday it would happen. But I was deeply discouraged and another big part of me doubted it at the exact same time.

In August of that year, I took a work trip to Haiti. I would meet with some of the participants of Plant With Purpose’s program and hear their stories. I do about one or two of these trips every year, but this time around, their stories resonated with me at a deeper level.

Messoyel talked about the struggle of not being able to provide food for his kids. Gernita told me about not being able to reap what she sowed. Nael talked about making 34 cents a day after working 12 hours. Raymond told me about the time his brother was killed in a car accident and he developed a drinking problem.

All these instances were about 10 years ago. Around that time, an organization called Floresta was rebranding itself as Plant With Purpose. Earlier versions of my current colleagues were figuring out how to effectively bring agroforestry and food farm projects to their communities. The answers to their prayers were already mobilized, before anybody knew.

Things move slower in the village, and so one morning when I got up before anybody else, I decided to go for a walk in the woods. I care about them, I heard while praying. Look around you. I saw aloe plants and small pines. I care about these, too. These were plants in a remote, rural, frequently forgotten part of the country. And yet, they were of importance, and they were thriving.

I care about you too.

I came home. I was supposed to make a video of my Haitian friends’ stories, but when the footage didn’t arrive on time, I had to pen a script fast. The words flowed easily. I wrote the message I got out of my time in Haiti.

It turned into this video:

I am the reason you can keep going. The reason you will keep going.

Of course, the hardest part of my year hadn’t yet arrived.

It did two months later.

In a year, you will see how good I am, I heard in the midst of it.

Deanna’s recovery was slow and complicated, but she did get better. The year was coming to an end, and I had chalked 2018 up as a difficult year and I was eager to move on. I had no particular reason to think 2019 would be any better, but hey, we could hope.

Sort of.

That New Year’s Day, we spent the afternoon with my parents. For the first time ever, my stepdad asked if we thought about having kids. When we got home later, that set off a more emotional conversation between myself and Deanna. She had pretty much given up on the likelihood of us having kids.

I threw out the idea of IVF or other methods. 

“What if this is my body’s way of letting me know that I’m not meant to be pregnant?” she asked.

Maybe.

“What if this year we start looking at adoption?”

Okay.

We’ve always wanted to adopt. We still do. But we also both wanted biological children. I still hadn’t given up in that same way, but what was I going to do? I couldn’t argue my way into conceiving a kid. I agreed, wondering if we might still do both, just in a different order than we expected.

After all, it was finally 2019 and I was ready for a new start.

Yeah right.

Two weeks later, I was in bed reading, while Deanna was out rock climbing with a friend. I got a call: “Hey, I hurt my leg and can’t drive. Can you come pick me up?”

I thought I would just be taking Deanna home, so I simply threw on sweats and flip flops and went over to the gym. When I got there, it turned out that Deanna had actually broken her knee, and we would be spending the night in the hospital. Before they X-Rayed her, they asked us if we were pregnant.

Our answer was no, but they still needed to test. Wouldn’t it be the ultimate irony to find out this way? I thought. But once again, the test showed up negative.

The broken leg meant eight weeks on crutches, during which Deanna couldn’t drive. Plant With Purpose was gracious in allowing me a little flexibility. Every morning, I would drive her 20 minutes to work, then head 40 minutes in the other direction to my office. I would reverse that route every afternoon, keeping me on the road for two hours every day.

To add to the stress, we had started looking for a house. We were confident enough in our decision to move that at the start of the year, we gave our apartment a notice that we were leaving in 60 days. End of February. Deanna’s leg slowed down our house hunt. When we got back to it, we found that everything was just a bit outside of our range.

We had to pack everything up and move out by the end of the month, and we had no place to go. We kept looking for houses and short term rentals we could use as a backup plan. Meanwhile, after work each day, I’d come home and do more packing. Taking several boxes to storage every day became part of the routine.

Things were unbelievably stressful. One day, I found a stray dog on the street. A small black lab who was really sweet. I told the shelter we’d adopt her if nobody claimed ownership. One day went by, and then another. The owner had a week to claim her. Six days went by, but on the final day, she was claimed.

Over Thai food that day, I simply had to vent to Deanna how tired and upset I was at nothing working out. No luck having kids. No luck finding a house. We couldn’t even get that dog.

She listened intently. We stared and ate basil noodles. Then she started scrolling on her phone.

“There’s an open house right now in City Heights,” she said. “And this is way cheaper than the other places we’ve looked at.”

We met our realtor there in an hour. And we liked it.

Later that week, we made an offer that was almost immediately accepted.

On the last day of February, my mom came over to help clean the house. I took the day off work so I could keep taking large boxes over to storage. We were closing on the house, which we’d move into in April, but we found a sweet spot to temporarily stay in for the next month. Something about that day felt right.

The sun was out. Things felt lighter. I suppose it’s worth noting that this was the same day the Phillies signed Bryce Harper.

We moved out, and I was so glad to put that month behind us.

A week later, we were in La Mesa, in our temporary living room. I was reading on the couch before work. Deanna hobbled over to me on crutches. “I have something to show you.”

She pulled out a pregnancy test strip showing two pink lines.

My smile was sincere but guarded. I didn’t want to get my hopes up. I wanted to hear from a credentialed doctor that all this was for real.

Conveniently, her broken leg called for lab work to be done that night. We checked the results and saw that HCG levels were indeed up.

That Thursday, we scheduled a visit with the gynecologist. She performed an ultrasound. And we saw him.

Our baby was the size of a rice grain. And he had a heartbeat. “That’s very good,” our doctor told us. “Most of the time you can find a heartbeat at this stage, you’ll carry to term.”

It would still be a high risk pregnancy, we were told. We’d need to see this doctor every other week. Deanna’s diabetes would be a tricky thing. We were warned that she would lose her sensitivity to her blood sugar levels. We were also given a list of all the things that could go wrong. A possible loss of lung function. A slight risk of death.

“I just have to say that stuff,” our doctor told us. “But I’m an optimist, and I think we’ll do this. You have to be an optimist about this.”

The next day, I took Beignet for a long walk. This is it, I heard. I want you to be parents.

We told our parents, but other than that, we kept this sweet news to ourselves. My cautious self wanted to wait until halfway through before we really started telling people.

We took an early Babymoon to Charleston. It was also partly a birthday gift to me, a trip to the High Water Music Festival. We had a great time, and we saw a lot of other pregnant women there as well.

The last day of the trip, however, would be the scariest day of our pregnancy.

Many diabetics can feel their blood sugar levels fluctuate and can adjust their food or insulin intake accordingly. When you get pregnant, however, your sensitivity gets thrown off and the amount of insulin you need gets thrown off. While I was driving from Charleston to Charlotte so we could fly back home, this caught us way off guard.

Deanna napped in the passenger seat, and when she woke up, she checked her blood sugar. The monitor said something I had never seen before. Sugar Dangerously Low. What? This thing measures as low as 30-- how low is she? 20? She should be in a diabetic coma right now if that were the case.

But oddly, she felt nothing. We waited as she drank juice and ate cereal bars to try and bring it back up. “This is very, very bad,” she told me. “If this baby is still okay, it would be a miracle.”

The next four days would be another painstaking wait until we could see our doctor.

I spent a lot of time on online forums trying to see if anyone had experienced a hypoglycemic shock while pregnant. The biggest source of comfort, oddly, were posts on a British website from diabetic mums in 2011. I had to do some conversion of units to see how low they dropped.

When we made it to the doctor after a long week, we watched the ultrasound screen. We found the heartbeat, and as far as anyone could see, baby was doing well.

I want you to be parents, I remembered hearing. And this baby- a boy, we’d soon learn- wanted to be alive. He found his way into our lives when they were the most chaotic- a broken leg, a housing crisis, and a ton of stress. He fought through blood sugar swings and chronic illness management and a challenging pregnancy. It looks as though he’s picked up his mom’s fighter spirit and resilience. It’s hard to overstate how happy that makes me.

And now, he’s here.

His arrival took me back to where this journey all began. Where, after a podcast episode, I heard the phrase you will be thankful. And it takes me to this time last year. A year from now, you will see how good I am. It takes me to Haiti. I am the reason you can keep going. You will keep going. It takes me to Charleston. I want you to be parents.

And you know what? A year after the hardest time in my life, I see how good God is.

I am thankful.

My favorite shows of the 2010s

The 2010s are coming to an end in just a few weeks, and a lot of places are releasing Best of the Decade lists for all kinds of things. Best albums. Best movies. You know the drill. I’m a big fan of these lists, the debates surrounding them, and all that.

Since I became a dad just a few weeks ago, I’m taking a break from my usual writing habit to simply enjoy making Best of the Decade lists of my own. Unlike the lists you’d find in Paste, Pitchfork, or any of those other sites, these lists are more subjective to my tastes and how strongly they resonated with me. If you’re looking for opinions on cultural significance, well, there are plenty of other sites doing that.

This time around, I’m listing my favorite shows from this decade, and I’m defining that pretty loosely. Here are my picks for the best podcasts, podcast episodes, scripted series, and online videos of the decade. To be honest, I’m probably not the best person to make a definitive list of the best shows of the decade, given that I didn’t really watch much. Especially in the first few years. I do hit those podcasts pretty hard, though. Either way, I still felt like sharing a few shows and segments that inspired me, made me think, or just put a smile on my face.

This list comes fully loaded- so click an image below to see my picks.

PODCASTS

SERIES

PODCAST EPISODES

ONLINE VIDEOS

Favorite Online Videos of the 2010s

10. “Unsung Hero”

The ThaiLife commercial has now been seen plenty, with some of its translation issues in tact. That said, I’ve used it so many times as an example of how to craft a compelling video.

9. Japan’s Master Inventor Has Over 3,500 Patents

Great Big Story are some of my favorite content producers out there. Their sole goal with everything produced is to create a sense of wonder, which they do again and again.

8. In A Heartbeat

Score one for the animators. This sweet animated short love story made quite the splash when it arrived, and I wish there was a more regular place to find these sorts of works.

7. Budweiser | This Bud’s For 3 | Dwayne Wade

This video, made by Budweiser to commemorate Dwayne Wade’s retirement from the NBA packs a surprisingly emotional punch.

6. Most Shocking Second a Day video

The saddest video listed, and it has a pretty bad clickbaity title. That aside, the Syrian crisis was the tragedy of this decade, and this Save The Children campaign starkly humanizes it.

5. A Pep Talk from Kid President to You

Kid President was one of the very best things to happen to the internet this decade, and this might have been his capstone video.

4. Proverbs 31 (Thank God For Women) – International Women’s Day

More nonprofit’s videos should look like this: blurring the line between giver and recipient and instead focusing on the many different appearances of strength.

3. Children Of Asian Immigrants Reveal Sacrifices Their Parents Made

Another pretty powerful soul-punch. Of course this is one I can relate to pretty strongly, but it’s pretty widely moving.

2. Meet Zach Sobiech | My Last Days

SoulPancake’s 22 minute highlight of a remarkable soul gone too soon is exactly the sort of thing that makes you just want to go out there and live whole heartedly.

1. A Balloon’s Story

Brad Montague’s short story about a balloon going through an existential crisis triggered by the awareness of mortality is sweet and relatable and comforting all at once.